by Maya Banks
She looked down for a moment as she collected her courage, but Gray nudged her chin upward with his finger.
“I hear a but in there somewhere,” he said.
She shook her head. “No but.” She looked him directly in the eyes and hoped he could see the love shining in hers. “Gray, I love you.”
Fire surged in his eyes at her declaration. He started to speak, but she laid a finger over his mouth. “Let me finish. I have so much to say.”
He nodded, and she let her finger fall away.
“I should feel weak right now. Giving up control the way I did should make me feel smaller somehow. But I don’t. In fact, I’ve never felt more empowered than I do right now. More in control of my own destiny. Maybe I didn’t really know before exactly what I wanted, but I do now. I want you. And I realized why another man has never been able to satisfy me. It’s because I didn’t make the emotional connection with them that I did with you. I didn’t trust them. And trust is everything. Without it I couldn’t really let go of that control, and as long as I was holding fast to it, I was destined to remain disappointed.”
He gathered her hands in his again and lifted them both to his mouth. He kissed first one and then the other. “You are such an incredible, honest woman,” he said in a shaky voice. “Weak? I don’t think you could ever be weak. What could possibly be more powerful than admitting your needs and not being ashamed or afraid to embrace them? People spend their entire lives hiding from their true selves, living out farces and fantasies, never embracing reality. By offering your surrender, by meeting your needs and desires head-on, you’ve freed yourself from the worst sort of bondage. And nothing is more powerful than that. Or more courageous.”
He reached out and touched her cheek with the back of his finger. “I love you, Faith. Lord knows I’ve tried not to. I wanted to believe that you were playing games. That you couldn’t possibly give me what I wanted. But you’re what I want. What I’ll always want.”
She stared at him, too overwhelmed to do anything more than gape numbly in shock. She closed her eyes and willed the tears not to come. But one slipped down her cheek.
He tenderly thumbed it away. “Open your eyes, Faith, and look at me.”
She blinked, his face a shimmery glare as she looked at him through a tear-thickened sheen.
“There’s something else we need to talk about,” he said quietly.
She frowned at the worry she heard in his voice. Before she could ask him why, the front door exploded inward. Gray shoved her to the floor and bolted to his feet.
“Don’t move a muscle, or your buddy here gets it.”
Faith looked frantically around Gray from her position on the floor to see a strange man holding a gun to another man’s head. Fear and desperation radiated from the gunman, and his hostage looked pissed. But strangely unafraid.
Gray held his hands up in a placating manner, but on the inside he was cursing a blue streak. Beside him, Faith scrambled up from the floor. Gray grabbed her wrist and yanked her behind him. His first priority was her safety.
“I’m going to take a guess here and say you’re Samuels?” Gray said in an even voice.
The gunman sneered. “Does it really matter who I am?”
“It does if you killed my partner.”
Faith huddled close to Gray’s back, clutching at him with her hands. He still had a hand on her wrist as he held it behind his back, and he rubbed up and down her skin in a soothing manner. He could feel how frightened she was, and it pissed him off all the more.
How the hell had Samuels found them? And for that matter, how did Mick end up mixed up in this? Mick’s threat about taking Samuels down himself echoed in his mind. Damn fool was going to get them all killed.
“What do you want?” Gray demanded. “How the hell did you get here?”
“I want the girl,” Samuels said.
Gray felt Faith tremble against his back, and he squeezed her hand reassuringly.
“That’s not going to happen,” Gray said in a dangerously low voice.
“Let her go,” Mick said bitterly. “She doesn’t matter.”
“Shut the fuck up, Mick,” Gray growled. “What were you thinking, going after Samuels alone? Are you just trying to get us all killed?”
“Both of you shut up,” Samuels barked. “The bitch’s mother is anxious to see her. I’m sure her old man will be willing to cough up some cash if he wants to see her alive again.”
Faith stiffened, and before he could pull her back, she stepped from behind him and stared at Samuels. “What does my mother have to do with this? What’s going on?”
“Faith, get behind me,” Gray said slowly.
Samuels tightened his grip around Mick’s neck and pointed the gun at Faith. “Move over,” he ordered, gesturing to the left with his gun. “Move, or I’ll shoot you.”
Faith stood stock-still, whether out of fear or the fact that she was in shock. “How do you know my mother?” she demanded. And then understanding flashed in her eyes. “You’re the man my mother was with. Why she was calling and asking for money. You’re the one I heard in the background.” She turned her confused gaze to Gray. “But what does that have to do with your partner?”
“They used you as bait, sweetheart,” Samuels said. “Too bad they’re so incompetent. Now, get moving. I don’t have time for all the drama.”
Gray’s heart clenched at the confused, hurt look in Faith’s eyes. But more than that, things were getting desperate. He couldn’t take Samuels down, not when he was pointing a gun at Faith.
“What do you mean, used me as bait?” she said.
“I sent him to Houston,” Mick said, his face growing red as his anger exploded.
“Mick, shut up,” Gray said.
“Sent him to Houston why?” she asked softly.
“To get close to you.”
“But why? I don’t understand.” Her voice echoed her bewilderment.
In a flash, Samuels shoved Mick, sending him stumbling across the living room. He reached out and yanked Faith to his chest, repositioning the gun at her temple.
“Now, that’s better,” Samuels said, satisfaction lining his voice. “Let me make this simple for you, sweetheart. Just so you know what a bastard your lover is. The old man over there sent lover boy to Houston to cozy up to you because he knew I’d hooked up with your mother. And then lover boy brings you out here to lure me out.”
Samuels looked over at Gray. “Were you planning to take me out yourself? Bet you didn’t tell your buddies in Houston that. Quite the sting operation they were running. The decoy looked remarkably like Faith. I probably would have fallen for it if the old man hadn’t let it slip where you were holding her. But then I guess that was all part of the plan. Only I decided to change things up a bit. I’m not entirely stupid.”
Faith looked shell-shocked. Hurt and confusion emanated from every part of her body. “Is it true?” she whispered.
Gray wasn’t going to waste time begging for her understanding. That could come later. Right now his focus was on keeping Samuels from taking her. He ignored her question and tuned out the betrayal in her stare.
“You won’t get very far,” he said evenly. “You’re on an island, for God’s sake. How do you think you’re going to get off with a hostage?”
“The same way I got on with one,” Samuels said with a chuckle.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mick make a move. Gray tried to reach him, to prevent the stupid action, but Mick hurtled himself forward, like an out-of-control lunatic. He didn’t care about Faith or whether she got hurt, he only saw his son’s killer.
It all happened so quickly. The loud report of gunfire. Faith’s scream. Mick crumpling to the floor. It was the night of Alex’s shooting all over again, and he was powerless to stop it. Another shot sounded, and a searing pain blazed through his arm. The last thing he remembered as he crumpled to the floor was the look of fear and betrayal in Faith’s eyes.
CHAPTER 36
Pain. It was the one thing he was aware of as he opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. Gray blinked, and then the memory of what happened came roaring back.
He flipped himself over, ignoring the surge of agony that blasted through his chest. He put an experimental hand up to his shoulder, and looked as he pulled it away again. Red. Bright red blood. Fuck.
He scrambled over to where Mick lay. He rolled the older man over, his chest tightening when he saw the massive chest wound. He knew before he felt for a pulse that he would find none.
Tears burned his eyes. He was so goddamn angry. Mick’s death was as pointless as Alex’s. And now Faith’s life was in danger.
The room swam in his vision. He felt light-headed and weak from the blood loss. In his pocket, he felt his phone pulse and vibrate. Ignoring the screaming pain shooting through his body, he thrust his hand into his pocket to retrieve his phone. He flipped it open and shoved it to his ear just as he collapsed back to the floor.
Micah didn’t even wait for him to mutter a greeting. He started sounding off, cursing a blue streak.
“Slow down,” Gray said weakly. “What was that about a news story?”
“Your fucking buddy Mick set you up. You have to get the hell out of there, Gray. He went on the goddamn news going on about the operation and how you and Faith were in hiding—”
“It’s too late,” Gray managed to rasp out. “He’s been here. He has Faith. Mick’s dead. I’ve been shot. Need help.”
“Oh Christ. Fuck. Man, are you okay? Talk to me. Hold the line while I call the damn ambulance.”
“Not dying. Just feel like it. I think.”
Again Micah cursed. Gray heard him yell at someone in the background and then vaguely heard him tell a 911 operator the situation and the address of the beach house.
Micah’s voice grew dimmer and dimmer. He gritted his teeth and tried to hold on. At some point, Nathan got on the phone, but none of what he said made sense. It was all a garbled mess.
“Find Faith,” he whispered. “Don’t worry about me. You have to find Faith.”
He faintly registered someone shouting his name, but he wasn’t strong enough to hold the phone to his ear any longer. It clattered to the floor as the room went dark once again.
Blinding light pierced his eyeballs as someone peeled back his eyelids. He shook his head and snapped his eyes shut again.
“Come on, son, wake up.”
Gray let his eyes flutter open.
“Ah, that’s better.”
The room came into focus, and Gray realized he was in a hospital bed. A man he presumed was a doctor stared at him from a few feet away, clipboard in hand.
Gray’s gaze skirted around the room until he saw Micah standing in the far corner, phone to his ear.
“Where’s Faith?” he rasped.
Micah snapped the phone shut and hurried to the bed. “Shit, man, you scared the hell out of me. It’s about damn time you woke up.”
Gray looked between him and the doctor. “How long have I been out?”
“A little over twenty-four hours,” the doctor replied.
Gray let out a stream of curses, and he struggled to get out of the bed.
“Whoa, son, where do you think you’re going?” the doctor demanded as he put a hand on Gray’s chest and shoved him back down on the bed.
Gray looked desperately at Micah. “Faith. Where is she? Have you found her?”
Micah’s expression was grim as he shook his head. “Sorry, man. Nothing yet.”
Gray shut his eyes and thumped his head against the pillow. “I have to get out of here. I have to find her.”
The doctor frowned and turned his disapproving stare on Gray. “You won’t be going anywhere today.”
“How bad is it?” Gray demanded, as he gestured toward his heavily bandaged shoulder.
“Not nearly as bad as it could be,” the doctor said in a placating voice. “Just a flesh wound. I stitched you up. Our main concern was the loss of blood. Sometimes the simplest wounds bleed badly.”
“If it’s just a flesh wound, then I can get the hell out of here,” Gray growled.
“You need to rest. I might consider letting you go tomorrow, although I’d prefer you to stay a few days. We have to monitor you for infection.”
“I’m leaving today,” Gray said through gritted teeth. “Write me a damn prescription for some painkillers and some antibiotics, and I’ll be good to go.”
“If you leave, you’ll have to sign as AMA.”
“I don’t give a shit. I’m walking out of here, with or without your permission.”
He glanced at Micah, expecting to get grief from that corner, but Micah stayed silent.
The doctor sighed. “All right, but I’m going on record that you’re leaving against strict medical advice. I’ll write the prescriptions. Be sure and take those antibiotics. If you start running fever or your wound gets red and inflamed or swells more, then you get your ass back here.”
Gray shoved himself into an upright position and nearly passed out as a wave of pain hit him. He groaned and reached down with his free hand to steady himself.
Micah gripped his arm. “Hang on to me, and don’t try to stand up too fast.”
Between the two of them, they managed to get Gray out of bed. The doctor returned a moment later and handed Micah a piece of paper with the prescriptions on it. Then he shoved a clipboard at Gray.
Gray took it and didn’t bother reading over it. He knew what it said. The whole spiel about the hospital not accepting responsibility if he dropped dead in the parking lot. Yeah, he got it. He scribbled his signature and thrust the clipboard back at the doctor.
He waited for Micah to head out, and he followed slowly behind, trying not to acknowledge the way the floor shifted and swayed underneath him. He felt like a goddamn sissy.
By the time Micah half dragged, half helped him to the lobby, Gray was sweating, and he was sure he had to be white as a sheet.
“Dude, I’m not so sure this was a good idea,” Micah said. “You look like shit. Are you going to make it?”
“I have to find her,” he said, allowing the desperation he felt to flow out in his voice. “Have you heard anything? What’s going on?” And as they stepped out of the front entrance, sunlight blinded him. He blinked and then shook his head. “Where the fuck are we?”
“Houston,” Micah said shortly. “Look, you stay here. Sit on that bench and don’t move while I go get my truck. I’ll be back in a second.”
Gray slid onto the bench and tried to settle his rolling stomach. To be honest, he felt like he was going to fucking puke. He wiped his sweaty brow with the back of his hand and tried not to let panic overtake him.
Faith. God, what must she be thinking? Not only was she scared to death, but she thought he’d betrayed her. Used her. Fuck. He had, but not in the way she thought. He closed his eyes and tried to hold back the rage that consumed him.
A few minutes later, he felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up to see Micah standing over him. He groaned as Micah helped him up, and as much as it pissed him off to do so, he had to lean on Micah in order to make it to the truck.
“I’ll dump your prescriptions off at the pharmacy down the block from the office, and I’ll go back and get them when they’re ready,” Micah said as he slid into the driver’s seat.
“Tell me what’s going on,” Gray said as they drove away. “What was that about Mick and a news story? And Faith. Have you been able to get any leads? Has the bastard contacted Pop?”
“Slow down, dude. One question at a time. I’m sorry about Mick, by the way.”
Gray closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the seat. “I want this bastard, Micah. First Alex, then Mick and now he has Faith. I want him.”
“I know, man. We all want to nail his ass. And we will. You have to believe that.”
“What about the rest?” Gray asked tiredly.
“Mick was pissed that not eno
ugh was being done to catch Samuels. His words, not mine. So he took it upon himself to try and draw Samuels out. It was stupid and desperate. I don’t know what the fuck he was thinking. He contacted a local news station and gave them the entire story. He wasn’t thinking clearly. The interview was a mess. I can’t even believe they ran it. He was obviously out of his mind. He put himself out there, and Samuels capitalized. I don’t know much else. Neither do the cops. They’re all waiting to talk to you. They’re going to be pissed when they learn you left the hospital before they got a chance to question you.”
“Too fucking bad,” Gray muttered. “Goddamn it. What was Mick thinking? It’s such a damn waste. How did Samuels get to him so quickly? And how the fuck did Mick know where I was?”
Micah grew silent, and Gray yanked his head to look at him. “Jesus, you don’t think I used her as bait do you? I never told Mick where Faith and I were. Nobody but you and the others knew.”
“I don’t think so,” Micah said after a long pause. “But I can’t guarantee you what Pop and the others think. This whole thing has gone straight into the shitter. We have no leads, thanks to your buddy.”
Gray closed his eyes and pounded his fist on the seat, ignoring the sharp burst of pain that washed over him.
Micah pulled up at a drive-through pharmacy and handed the prescriptions through the window. He answered a few questions then asked Gray for his date of birth before he rolled his window back up and drove away.
They rode the rest of the way in silence, and a few minutes later, Micah parked outside Malone and Sons. Gray sat there a moment, steeling himself for the confrontation that was to come. He didn’t blame Pop for being angry. Gray had let Faith down in a big way.
Micah opened the door. “Come on, buddy, I’ll help you in. You look like you’re about to fall over.”
Gray slid out of the seat, wincing when his feet hit the ground. He felt the jolt all the way to his chest. Like an old man, he staggered to the entrance, and Micah went in ahead of him.
The office was in chaos. When Gray entered, Pop, Connor and Nathan all turned around to stare at him.
