“So, you aren’t coming to the ladies meeting before work?” she asked.
“Not this time, thanks for the invite though. Love you, Mom,” I said as I slipped out the door.
I arrived at Espress’ Yourself Café in record time. I headed inside with a silly smile on my face. I saw Branson at the table we’d first sat at on our first date. He waved to me. I walked over to him, my high heeled boots clicking against the wood floor. I sat down across from him with a content sigh.
“Hi,” I said breathlessly. He grinned at me.
“You look amazing,” he said, “I ordered you a mocha if that’s alright.” He folded his hands on the table.
“You’re a fast learner,” I said with a laugh.
“You can never go wrong by giving girls chocolate.”
“Smart man.” A minute later our coffees were done. He went up to the counter and grabbed them for us. He set it down in front of me, and my eyes lit up with pleasure.
“It looks like you got the ring of power.” He laughed at my expression.
“My prrrreeeecioussss….” I hissed.
“God, we’re dorks,” he said with a laugh.
“Hey, I like Lord of the Rings. From what you told me last night you’re a big geek at heart too.” I took a drawn out sip of my mocha with lots of yummy, yum noises.
“You’re not supposed to say that out loud, Zoe, someone might hear you.” He looked around the room in mock horror.
“You told me you have Batman underwear, I mean seriously; you can’t get any geeker than that!” I brushed his hand with mine. I felt tingles go up and down my arm. We’d talked about more than just geeky stuff last night too. Why was it so much easier to say something when chatting than in person?
“Did you listen to that song I posted on my wall last night?” he asked me. He drank some of his coffee. He was so good looking. It kept distracting me from what he was actually talking about. Song? What song?
“Um…no…what song was that?” I asked.
“I wrote it,” he said and raised his eyebrows at me.
“You wrote a song? You mean you sing other stuff other than Old McDonald had a farm?”
“I’m branching out,” he said with a laugh.
“No, I didn’t hear it.” I’d have to look on Facebook later.
“Tell me what you think, okay?” he said rather shyly.
“I will,” I said and sipped at my coffee.
“If it sucks just tell me.”
“I’m sure it doesn’t suck,” I said with a laugh. We talked for a bit longer before I glanced at my watch. Crap I had to go to work in two hours!
“Listen, Branson, I gotta run! I have to get ready for work in a couple hours. This was fun,” I said. He stood to his feet and came around toward me. He pulled me into an embrace.
“I’ll text you after work. You get out at ten?” he asked me as he tossed our coffee cups away. I was still thinking about his hug. It made me tingle all the way down to my toes.
“What? Yeah, ten.”
“I’ll walk you to your car,” he said. We headed outside, and he opened up my car door for me like an old fashioned gentleman. He leaned on my door and peered over top of it.
“Did I tell you that you looked nice?”
“Girls can always use more compliments,” I said with a teasing smile. He smiled at me.
“See you later, Zoe.”
“Bye,” I said, and he closed the door. I watched him walk to his car. Stop staring at his butt, Zoe, I thought to myself as I giggled. I started up my car.
***
When I got home, my dad was out busy in the yard, and my mom was at her ladies meeting. The moment I saw my dad, my mind went back to the mess I was in. My dad said Jacob was the one, but there was no way. Why was I thinking about that right now? I had a little bit of time, so I grabbed a muffin, poured myself another huge cup of coffee, and plopped myself in front of my computer. My story stared at me. I put my fingers to the keyboard and began to type out my frustration at my life. When I was done I sat back. Was that really how I wanted my character’s life to go? One big whopping mess? I went to go hit the back key but paused. Why shouldn’t her life be as big of a mess as mine was? Why should she get a happy ending and not me? I closed Microsoft Word down and went to go sit on my bed. I grabbed a book off my bookshelf and lost myself in another person’s perfect story.
My phone alarm beeped, and I climbed off my bed to get myself ready for work. I brushed my hair, touched up my makeup, and got dressed. Another day, another dollar. I passed my dad on the way to my car.
“Work?”
“Yeah,” I mumbled and climbed into my car.
“See you tonight, Zoe. We need to talk later.”
Great. Just great. I pulled out of the driveway and headed toward my work. I got there and smiled at my familiar customers as I relieved a girl named Amanda, who stocked shelves.
“Hi, Zoe, ready for another day?”
“Yeah, should be fun.” I sounded depressed even to my own ears.
“You okay? You seem like you’re having a rough day.”
Rough life more like it. Yeah, my dad is making me marry some nasty guy. It was great!
“I’m good. Just went to bed late last night.” I slid behind the counter, and she headed toward the back to pull some freight out. She left in an hour or so, and I’d have the place to myself for the night.
“Have fun!” she called over her shoulder. Yeah, loads of fun. I couldn’t get all the crap out of my head that was going on with my family. The one thing that kept me from going insane was thinking about Branson. It was so weird. The logical side of me was like screaming at me that I was an idiot, while something else in my heart was shouting hallelujah. It was the weirdest battle I’d ever gone through. The hours dragged by as I straightened up the store. I made a couple rounds, helped a few people, and finally nine o’clock rolled around. One more hour! Then what? Ah! I was hanging out with Branson tomorrow! The thought hit me like fresh air. I managed a smile.
The door dinged, and a couple girls from church came in. One girl named Tori, who is really a big huge snob, came right up to me.
“Hi, Zoe, I heard you and Jacob went out last night. How’d that go?” I could read the jealousy in her eyes. God, please.
“It was amazing,” I sarcastically said. I don’t think she caught it though.
“You have it so lucky, Zoe Reed. God has really blessed you with such a great man. Jacob is so amazing.”
She could totally have him!
“Tori, this little courtship is not my idea.”
“But Jacob said your dad said God told him you two were meant to be together!” She looked at her two friends who were just soaking all the information in. Crap. I didn’t want them to think ill of my dad.
“Yeah, God did. I just haven’t had confirmation in my own heart. I’m sure it will come,” I said and tried to look like I was sorting something on the counter so they’d go away. Tori didn’t really take the hint.
“Maybe you’re just in sin, and God’s not talking to you right now.”
I wanted to slap her! My gosh! How dare she? Little miss let me show my boobs to half the church! I clenched my jaw together my face turning red. Maybe I wasn’t the perfect Christian all the time, but I’d heard how many guys Tori had slept with, and it was more than I could count on two hands. She claimed that was “before” she got born again, but there were still rumors floating around. It’s probably why Jacob wanted nothing to do with her.
“Maybe if you’d kept yourself pure he’d look at you twice,” I shot back at her, and instantly regretted my words. I was just mad today. Everything was heating me up. Her two friends looked shocked, and Tori’s jaw dropped open.
“You’re cruel, Zoe Reed. I swear if you weren’t the pastor’s daughter…” Her lip trembled as her two friends ushered her out of the craft store. Oops. Ah! Why did I say that? I really hated the way I spewed crap sometimes. Jesus, please forgive me! I didn�
��t mean to be so mean to her! I just get so sick of her and her friends. They think they are so much better than everyone else in the church. They can have Jacob Whitmen! I don’t want him!
I looked up at the clock and started cleaning up for the night. It was almost ten. Finally after cleaning up and shutting everything off, I punched out and locked up the store. I got into my car and just sat there for awhile. At my church people were always pointing the finger, judging, and casting blame on everyone. If people saw Branson with me I would get heaped with judgment up to my eyeballs. I couldn’t let anyone see him, but this city really wasn’t that big. I’m sure someone knew him, and a lot of people knew who I was. How was I going to keep my friendship or relationship or whatever this was a secret? Already people knew that Jacob and I were ugh…courting! The thought still made me want to puke. I headed home to get some sleep for the night. Tomorrow was Sunday finally.
Chapter 12
The sunlight shone through my window blinding me awake. “I’m up, gosh…” I mumbled as I put my hand up to block the warm rays. What was today? Oh yeah it was Sunday! I was going to get to see Branson this afternoon after church. Had I told Mom and Dad about my plans? I couldn’t think this early. I stumbled out of bed, showered, and put on a pair of black stretchy pants, and a light pink sparkly sweater dress that hung to my knees. I added a small heart shaped necklace and curled my hair into soft curls. I applied my makeup carefully and then looked at myself. I looked pretty good. I headed downstairs. I was going to drive today again, since I was meeting Branson after church, and Mom and Dad were going somewhere else. My mom was putting dishes away when I descended from the stairs.
“Hi, sweetie, you look really nice. Me and your dad are going to the Whitmens after church if you’d like to join us.” She was hinting at something. They wanted me to get to know my future in-laws. This was not going to end well.
“I’ve got plans today, Mom, but thanks anyways,” I said and headed toward the fridge. I pulled out the orange juice and poured myself a glass.
“Me and your father really wanted you to be there today, Zoe, we are going to talk about the courting arrangements for you two.” She poured herself a cup of coffee.
I turned around with what I hoped wasn’t a sneer.
“Did Dad tell you that I haven’t even said yes to this courtship? He’s shoving it in my face! I haven’t heard God speak to my heart about Jacob,” I said the words harsher than I meant to. My mom flinched a little bit. Then her mouth went into a grim line.
“Your father told me you were okay with it. You went out with Jacob Friday night.”
“Yes. Because Dad set it up. Mom, I have to pray more about this…I don’t want to make a mistake.”
“Are you doubting your father, then?” Her voice came out critical and sharp. She slammed a notebook down on the counter and started furiously scribbling something down. What the heck.
“No…I just don’t have peace about it all yet. I need time. Can’t you two understand that?” I tried to get her to look at me, but she ignored me.
“You are running out of time, Zoe Grace. Jacob is the perfect match for you.” She poured creamer in her coffee and splashed some on the counter.
“I gotta get going; I’ll talk to you later.” I couldn’t deal with this right now. I headed out the door, my orange juice left untouched. I was so furious that I could barely shove my key in the lock of my car. I finally did and let out a long slow breath. It was going to be okay. I was not going to the Whitmens today. No way. I was going to see Branson. I’d already canceled once with him for Jacob, I was not doing it again. I climbed into my car and threw my purse on the seat. I started up the engine and headed toward the church. I would just go into the private prayer room and have a little bit of a talk with God.
***
When I got to church, Jacob was already there. I moaned and headed toward one of the prayer rooms the intercessors used all the time. He spotted me and waved. I kept walking. Was that rude? I really didn’t care right now. I walked right into the prayer room, and he followed me in.
“I just wanted to tell you I really enjoyed our date Friday night. I’m excited to hang out with you today after church.” He closed the door as I set my purse down on a chair.
“Jacob, I came in here to pray for awhile. Do you mind?” I said and tried to keep the anger out of my voice. It wasn’t working very well. I was practically biting my cheek to keep from screaming at him.
“Oh, sorry, Zoe, I just wanted to tell you that really quick.” He flashed me a smile.
“I’m not coming to lunch today. I have plans with someone.” I kept my attention away from his face. I didn’t feel like looking at him right now.
“Oh? Who?” he asked with suspicion.
“A friend,” I said and looked away from him. I wonder if he could tell I was lying? Wasn’t Branson just a friend right now? I wasn’t dating him or anything.
“Oh, sorry to hear that. We’ll talk later.” He went out of the prayer room, and I heaved a sigh of relief. Finally. I grabbed my journal and Bible and settled on the floor. I put on some music from a little stereo that was kept in the room.
“God, seriously, You have a lot of explaining to do. Why did you tell me to go out with Branson? I know it was Your voice. I recognized it.” I waited for God to explain Himself, but He didn’t speak to me at all. I growled in frustration as I started pouring over the Bible. I got to the verse about disobeying your parents and slammed my Bible shut. That wasn’t helping at all! If Jacob was my husband God better change my heart quick because the more I thought about him the more I grew angry. After a good half hour of me whining to God, I left the prayer room and went to find my seat. Mia was already there. Tomas was talking to some other men on the other side of the room.
“Hi, Mia,” I said in defeat.
“Hey, Zo, what’s up?”
“What isn’t?” I folded my arms across my chest.
“I heard some girls talking about you and Jacob. Is that true?” She looked kind of hurt that I hadn’t told her.
“I don’t know, yeah, I guess. My dad told me God told him I was Jacob’s wife. So, yes, I guess I’m courting Jacob right now.” My face bunched into what probably looked like an angry cat face.
“You don’t seem too happy about that.” Her mouth upturned slightly. She looked defensive.
“Um, hello, no. He’s disgusting. I can’t stand the guy. I know Tori and her little group are gossiping about it already. I don’t even know how she knew. Probably Jacob and his big mouth. He couldn’t wait to tell everyone he snagged the pastor’s daughter.” I should be happy right? I mean I was courting someone finally. But Jacob? I wanted to scream. I think Mia saw that on my face and pulled me down into the chairs.
“It might not be that bad. Jacob is a godly man. He goes to church, he’s a virgin, he tithes, and he’s got a lot of money. Think about it, Zoe, he’s kind of right for you.” Mia looked me right in the eye.
“Really, Mia? Really? You really think that guy is right for me?” My eyes flashed with annoyance that my best friend would encourage this relationship.
She looked over to where Jacob was combing his slicked back hair.
“Hmm…” she said and turned back to me. “Just…keep praying and asking God for love for him. If your dad said God spoke to him it must be true. Pastor Daniel always hears from the Lord.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” I said and rested my head against the back of the pew.
***
“Sometimes we don’t hear the voice of God clearly, or we are ignoring the signs God is giving us through others. We must follow the will of God for our lives, or else we will stray in our relationship with the Father God. It’s easy to get distracted by worldly things. But the word says in James 4:4: Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Do you want to be an enemy of God?” My dad c
ontinued preaching, but I knew he was aiming what he was saying at me.
Was I just being distracted by worldly things? Like Branson’s good looks? Was I in rebellion against God’s plan for my life? Was I going to cause God’s wrath to fall upon me? I felt sick to my stomach. Mia looked over at me and squeezed my hand.
“You okay? You look sick,” she whispered. I nodded my head, even though I did want to vomit. It was more of a mental vomit than a physical though. Church ended promptly at twelve, and I helped Mia load her little munchkins in the car with Tomas. After saying goodbye, I climbed back into my car and sat there for a second. What was I doing? Branson was just a distraction. I wasn’t listening to God’s voice that was coming through my father. I battled my feelings of guilt.
Go see Branson…God whispered very softly to my heart. I felt a sense of peace wash over me. It was all so confusing. God’s voice and the voice of my father were exactly opposite. If my dad ever found out that I was going out with a guy who had lived such a sinful life he’d flip out. I started up my car and headed toward Eateries, some restaurant that Branson said was excellent. I’d be super early, but I could just sit and think for awhile.
Chapter 13
I arrived at Eateries by 12:25 and parked my car. I watched as couples, families, and random people walked into the food joint. I needed to try to sort out all of this crap in my head. Dad said I was in rebellion against God, and was indicating that I was an enemy of God because I was having a friendship with the world. Or at least that’s what it felt like this morning. But then I kept hearing God’s voice encouraging me to go be with Branson. That didn’t make any sense! One of us was wrong. Either my dad never heard God, or I was hearing something crazy.
I remembered hearing that same voice before when I went through some really hard stuff in college. I had almost wanted to give it all up and throw in the towel when I’d heard God whisper to my heart His love. It was what held my world together. Now, that same voice was telling me to go out with Branson. Despite my guilty heart, I was going to follow that voice. I closed my eyes briefly and turned up my worship music in my car. I felt peace settle on me so strong that it brought tears to my eyes.
Grace Alive: a Christian Romance Page 7
