“So we are supposed to throw out the Old Testament then, Branson? Doesn’t that seem extreme?” I asked.
“No! Pastor Dom always tells me that Jesus fulfilled the law. He brought it to the highest standard. That’s why He always said some crazy stuff like but I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. No one could ever do the things Jesus said. He said all that because He wanted people to realize that without Him it was impossible to be holy. How many people do you know won’t come to church because they feel so unworthy?” he asked.
“Oh my gosh, a ton. I have so many Facebook friends from college and from high school that told me that when I invited them to church.”
Branson’s eyes lit up with excitement. “You gotta see this. Romans 6:14 For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace. The more I studied these verses from the book the more I got this. Am I boring you, Zoe?” he asked and set the book aside for a minute.
“No! This is so new to me.” I smiled at him. I took a drink of my water.
“I start to ramble when it comes to grace.”
“I don’t mind. It’s freeing for me.” I tucked myself back up against his arms and drew in a relaxing breath. It was nearly twelve when I left Branson’s house. It was kind of freaking me out how fast we were getting to know each other. He’d told me more about his past but skirted around some of the stuff that would have made me blush. I told him about my childhood, my brother, and college life. I felt as if I could say anything, and he wouldn’t look at me like I was a loser. It was an odd feeling not getting judgment from someone. I could see why God kept encouraging me to be with him.
Chapter 21
A couple days later, I turned on my computer and opened up Facebook. I had several messages from people. I started reading them. Tears gathered against my will as I skimmed one after another from several young adults in our church. Mia being one of them.
Zoe, your dad told us what was going on. He’s really worried about you. Who is this guy? Why would you give up your salvation for a player? You’re so much better and smarter than that! Even though the message was short it hurt the most. Was I better than Branson? I didn’t think so. Maybe he’d committed a lot of sins in his past, but hadn’t I? Wasn’t sin still sin? Several other messages later had me heaped with guilt.
I know Branson, Zoe, he’s bad news! One of my old roommates in college started dating him. She was so in love with him! She constantly talked about how good sex was with him and how attractive he was. He made money selling pictures and movies of them. Zoe, please, please, dump this idiot! You are going to regret it otherwise! He’s a terrible person, and God could never bless someone like that! Kate
I already knew what Branson had done. Just knowing that others were spreading it around that I was courting a guy who had slept around was hard. I started crying as I read more messages. I didn’t even want to read them. When I saw Jacob had left me one I cringed. He’d been the start of all this. I hovered over the message and finally clicked on it.
I’m praying for your soul, Zoe. This man is straight from Hell to persuade you to turn to worldly things. Think about it, Zoe! He has kids by other women! How do you even know if this guy has AIDS or not? Your marriage will fail, it won’t work! What if you aren’t as good a lover as other girls he’s had. I’ve watched some of his videos, Zoe, and he’s messed up. He’s a lowlife, and you’d be a complete idiot to continue with this relationship. Plus, if you don’t come back to me, my family and I are pulling out of Light on the Hill Church along with our money. Your dad tried to persuade you, but maybe that will instead. Your parents’ church will suffer, and you know it! Because of your disobedience to God!
I stared at the screen. Wait what? Jacob and his family were going to leave if I didn’t court him? Was this new news? Or was that the reason my dad had forced me into that relationship in the first place? Anger spilled over, and I grabbed my pillow and screamed into it. Seriously? How low could one family go! I didn’t even like Jacob, let alone love him! That’s insanity! He’d watched some of Branson’s videos. I felt sick. What if he shared them around with people? I scooted back from my desk and started throwing stuff in boxes. I had to get out of this house and fast.
Your marriage will fail, it won’t work! What if you aren’t as good a lover as other girls he’s had. The words Jacob had said pounded in my head over and over. What if I was a terrible lover? What if our marriage did fall apart because of Branson’s past? Zoe, Zoe…peace…peace. Do not fret. The voice of God calmed my frayed nerves. God, people are talking about Branson and what he did in his past! What do I do? How do I convince them that he’s different now?
Peace, Zoe.
God, you have to help me fix this.
Peace, Zoe. I finished shoving stuff in the box and shut it with a sigh. I looked over at the open message and balled my fists. How dare Jacob do that? How dare he? I stormed over to my computer and began to furiously pound the keys. I read my message twice and hit send. Crap. I shouldn’t have done that. He was right. Light on the Hill would suffer. I flung my door open and went downstairs.
My dad was probably at church studying. My mom was at some meeting. I ran to my car and peeled out of the driveway. I was going to confront this now. Did my dad say God told me because of Jacob’s family’s threat? I had to know! I got to the church and jumped out of my car and practically ran inside. I opened the building and went to my dad’s office. I didn’t bother knocking; I just flung open the door. The image before me sent me into shock. My dad. A girl. There were clothes scattered on the ground, and they were… I turned around and faced the other way my face blanching.
“Zoe!” my dad bellowed, and I heard him scramble off his desk. God. God. He was… I felt sobs coming up my chest and pushed them down. I knew that girl. I shook as I heard them both frantically get dressed.
“I can explain, Zoe,” my dad desperately said. He sounded afraid. “I can explain,”
Should I just get the heck out of here? I had just caught my dad committing adultery. My parents’ church would fall apart if I said anything. My mom! Oh my gosh! I finally turned around to face my shame-faced father.
“It’s not like it looks!” he said and reached for my hands.
“It’s exactly how it looks!” I said and stepped back from him.
“Our counseling session…just got out of hand. It will never happen again, Zoe, I promise.” My dad wiped sweat off his forehead.
I looked into the face of my best friend Mia. She wouldn’t look at me.
“You judge others for their sins, and yet you are committing sin freely? You say that God’s love is turned away from us when we sin, and you point the finger at me for courting Branson, and yet…and yet…” I couldn’t even finish what I wanted to say. “Did you say God spoke to you about Jacob because they were threatening to leave the church if we didn’t court?” I was so hot right now. I couldn’t believe what I had just witnessed. Mia scooted around me grabbing her purse on the way. Her betrayal sent waves of hatred through me. How could she do that to my family? How could she do that to me? My dad stared at me openly, still buttoning up his shirt.
“Zoe, it was…it was for the good of our church. I can’t lose the Whitmens. It would close the church. I couldn’t let that happen! You understand right?” My dad’s eyes darted anywhere but my face.
“So you put my heart on the chopping block, Dad, instead of trusting God that everything would work out. You knew I hated Jacob! You knew! Yet you were forcing me to court him! To marry him?” I turned away, my eyes streaming with tears now. “How could you do that to me? How?” I clutched my purse tightly trying to keep myself from throwing something at my dad.
“I had to, Zoe! This church is my life! Mia…she was already going to divorce Tomas.”
Like that explained his betrayal of a twenty some odd year marriage!
Zoe, Zoe, he needs My love. Not your anger
. I heard the Holy Spirit say, but I didn’t know if I could do that right now. I balled everything up in my heart and pressed it down hard.
“I’m not going to tell Mom, but you are,” I said and ran out of the office. I kept running blinded by my tears, furious, and feeling the worst kind of pain. I managed to get my car unlocked, climbed inside, and sobbed. I started up the car and was beginning to drive away.
“How could he do that! How?” I said out loud as I whipped my car around corners to go to the private park me and Branson had walked through. “Branson…” I moaned and started sobbing again. My phone started ringing, and I saw that it was Branson. I answered it as I kept driving, swerving wildly at times, blinded by my tears.
“Zoe! What’s going on? The Holy Spirit told me to call you immediately. Are you okay?” I could hear the fear in his voice.
“My dad…” I sobbed, and I pulled over to the side of the road. “My dad…” I couldn’t get the words out.
“Where are you? I’m coming right now.” I heard him grabbing his keys.
“I’m about a mile from our little park, parked on the shoulder.” My shoulders shook as I wiped tears that kept coming from my eyes.
“I’ll be there in five minutes.” He hung up, and I rested my head against the steering wheel and felt the greatest sorrow I’d ever felt in my life. My dad had offered me for money. I was worth nothing to him. Nothing at all. Just a pawn he could barter with.
Zoe, you were worth everything. You are Mine. If it was only you, I’d die again for you. Just you. God’s voice made me start crying harder as the pain of what I’d just seen hit me over and over. I could never get those images out of my head. Never. My best friend, my dad, Jacob. The thought of all of them brought wave after wave of anguish. I was worth nothing to him. I was nothing.
“Jesus…” I whispered and clutched my steering wheel. I heard cars whizzing by, and in just a few minutes I heard a car pull up behind me. Branson came running up to my car his face filled with worry.
“Zoe?” He knocked on my window.
I opened the door and climbed out. He took one look at me and pulled me into his arms.
“It’s going to be okay, shh…” He wrapped his hand against the back of my head.
“My dad…he was…”
“It’s going to be okay, Zoe.” He just kept holding me. He started whispering prayers over and over, and I could feel his love, and the love of God began to soothe my pain.
“Branson, I caught my dad with my best friend having sex in his office. And Jacob…Jacob’s family was threatening to leave the church if my dad didn’t let him court me. My dad handed me over to that horrible guy for money. He thinks I’m trash, just a bartering chip. He…” I stopped talking because I started sobbing again. I had to stop crying.
“You aren’t worth nothing, Zoe, you are so valuable. People get corrupted when all they know are rules. Come on, I’m going to take you somewhere.” He led me to his car, and I got in. I couldn’t seem to stop crying, and Branson just held my hand as he drove. I pressed my face against the seat. God, this is worse than anything I’ve ever felt before.
My grace is sufficient for you, Beloved. My grace…
The car stopped, and Branson helped me out of the car. We were overlooking the city. Trees were all around us, and no one was around.
“Zoe Reed, I love you.” Branson looked into my tear streaked face. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You are so valuable to me.” He touched my chin and tilted it upward. He then brought his lips to mine and kissed me. It was so warm and loving that I felt myself wanting to sob again. How could I have gotten such an amazing person as Branson? How? How did God love me so much that He brought the revelation of grace through this man? I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a deeper kiss. I heard him gasp as I poured out my heart to him in it. He finally pulled me back and grinned.
“Wow! Okay, that one rocked!” He laughed. He brushed my hair back from my face and scooped my chin in his hand.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispered and kissed me again. I could feel my pain beginning to ebb. Nothing with my parents would ever be the same, but I had Branson, and I had God. And they would always be there for me.
Chapter 22
Branson and I headed back toward my car after a really long talk. I felt more at peace now about the situation even if the pain was still there. I kept thinking about Mia, Tomas, and her kids. Their family would be destroyed by this. My family would be destroyed. My mom. I kept thinking about her. After twenty some odd years of marriage my dad had just flushed it down the toilet. Had he been doing that for a long time? I didn’t really want to know. I got home and headed inside. My dad was sitting on the couch his face red and splotchy. Had he been crying? I’d never seen my dad cry in my entire life.
“Zoe, can I talk to you for a minute?” He looked completely shattered.
I really wanted to just run upstairs to my room right now.
“I guess,” I said and sat down on the chair across from the couch.
“What you saw I can explain.”
“Okay,” I quietly said. How could he explain away his sin?
“Mia and I…we love each other. I’ve been unhappy with your mother for over five years now. When Mia came to the church…we started counseling together about her and Tomas. She told me how frustrated she was with him, and I just listened for a long time. I don’t know how it happened, Zoe, but something changed in both of us.” He rubbed his forehead, and I saw guilt there.
“Our tithe has been down, Zoe, and our bills are piling up. If I had lost the Whitmens, Light on the Hill would go under. Mia told me I should take the deal that Jacob’s dad was offering me. I didn’t want to at first.”
Mia had told him to offer me to greasy Jacob? Mia? I ground my back teeth. Or was my dad just dumping it on her?
“I love Mia, Zoe, like you love Branson. I know its sin, but the more I try to stop, the more I want her.” He sighed again, and I saw his shoulders stoop. This man, this God-fearing man was a mess. I saw it now. I started thinking about all the conversations I’d had with Branson about the grace of God, the love of God, and the compassion of Christ, and I felt my anger leave me. Who was I to judge my dad? Who was I to judge Mia?
“If this gets out, it will ruin me. I’ll have nothing at all.” Fear filled his face, and he grabbed my hands.
“Please, Zoe, talk to Jacob. Maybe he will convince his family to stay. They wanted you in exchange for their commitment. If you don’t say something they will leave the church. Please,” he begged me. I looked into my dad’s guilt filled eyes that were brimming with tears.
“Dad, I can’t court Jacob. If that’s the condition then they are going to leave the church. I’ll talk to him, but I love Branson. I’m courting Branson. I’m not going to say anything about Mia, but you need to. You need to make this right.” My eyes filled with tears, but I promised myself I wouldn’t start crying again. I probably wouldn’t stop if I started to cry.
“I will. I promise,” he said, and I believed him.
“You need to read this book Branson told me about. Promise me.” I rummaged in my purse and pulled out Destined to Reign. I’d went and bought my own copy. I’d read it twice already. I was a speed reader.
“I will,” he said and looked at the cover of the book.
***
Dinner that night felt like chewing on nails. Painful. My mom knew something was terribly wrong between me and my dad, but I don’t think she wanted to ask what it was. After we’d eaten, I called Branson and lay on my bed.
“Hi, Zoe. Wanna say hi to the girls?”
“Sure!” I said and smiled as the twins got on the phone.
“Hi, Zoe! We love you, Zoe! Can you come over and play with us? Bree spit up on Daddy’s new shirt! It was so funny!” I think it was CC who said that, but they both sounded alike.
“She did, did she? Did Daddy smell like milk?”
“Yeah! It was yucky!”
That sounded like Evie. I heard Branson laughing in the background.
“Okay, girls, go play okay? Can you give Bree Bree her toys?”
I heard rummaging around and then shrieks of laughter. Branson’s kids were the happiest kids I’d ever met in my life.
“You doing okay?” he asked, and I could feel his concern right through the phone.
“Dinner was intense. But I made it. I told my dad he needed to set this right. He needs to be the one to tell my mom and his church. I’m not saying a word about it.” I twisted the edge of my comforter in-between my fingers.
“Bree said a new word today!” Branson said, and I was thankful for the change in subject.
“She did? What did she say?”
“Seriously you’re not going to believe me, but she said Zoe.”
“What?” I grinned at the thought of that cute little squirt. “For real?”
“Yup! The twins heard it too! Right girls?” I heard the two little girls giggling. “Kissy fest!” I heard him shout, and I think he dropped the phone.
“Hello? Branson?” I covered my mouth to keep from laughing into the phone. What in the heck! He had seriously just dropped the phone! I waited for a second as I heard lots of giggles and noises. Finally I heard him pick it back up.
“Sorry, had to do that! These girls needed some kisses!” I could picture him grinning, his handsome face shining with love. Wow.
“You are crazy. Do you know that?”
“Hey, every girl needs a kissy fest,” he said.
I blushed as I thought of him kissing me. Yeah, I could use one of those right about now. With all the strain and stress going on in my house, I needed a major kissy fest!
“I think it’s bedtime for these goofy little girls. I better put them to bed. I’ll call you later okay?” he said.
“Okay, thanks for listening to me rant like a lunatic,” I said and lay against my pillow. We hung up the phone, and I just stared at the ceiling. It flashed in my mind about Bree Bree, and I wondered how Branson was handling that whole situation with Rachel and her new boyfriend. I kept forgetting to ask him about that. I turned over onto my stomach and started scrolling Facebook. As I looked at people’s new posts, I felt a sick dread spread through me. People were…saying weird stuff on there. They didn’t mention my name at all, but I could see that people were talking about me and Branson. Especially Jacob and his buddies. I had a new message too. I clicked it and began to read.
Grace Alive: a Christian Romance Page 13
