by Sky Corgan
“Dominick,” I whispered.
“Hm?”
“Do you still want me?”
His eyes widened a bit, as if the question stung him. “I want you on a selfish level.”
“Then be selfish.”
“I can't handle this anymore Kim.”
My heart shattered at his words, all of my hope falling to the floor and sliding down the drain. Tears mixed with the water pouring down my face. Could he possibly hurt me anymore in one night? If he didn't want me, then what was the shower all about?
Dominick took a step away from me, and for a moment, I thought he was going to get out of the shower, leaving me with my misery. Instead, he knelt down . . . no, got down on one knee. I was immensely confused. He took my hand in his. Part of me wanted to recoil, but the other part of me was too shocked to move.
“I can't handle this back and forth anymore,” he continued. “It's selfish for me to do this. I don't want you to regret it, but I seriously can't do this anymore. You're either mine or you're not. If I let you go again . . . Will you marry me?”
The tears kept falling in a mix of confusion and disbelief and joy. This was not how I expected to be proposed to, especially not by Dominick. I had thought we would be in some fancy restaurant, or in some public place, and that he'd present me with a diamond the size of my fist. Now here he was, on his knee, in the shower, asking me to marry him right after he had just tried to break up with me. His words were strained, and I wasn't even sure if he meant them.
“You tried to dump me not even an hour ago,” I muttered.
“Because I'm afraid. And I'll always be afraid. Desperately afraid of losing you. Afraid that I'll mess things up or do something wrong. Afraid that you being with me will ruin your life or make you unhappy. That will probably never change. But the truth is that I want you forever. It's selfish and horrible. But you told me to be selfish, so I am. I want you to marry me, but if that's not what you want, I'll understand.”
“It is what I want,” I almost choked on my own words. “It's what I've wanted since I was five.”
“Then marry me, and we'll never have to worry about this stupid bullshit again, because we'll be bound together.”
Everything was so surreal. It felt like I was living in a dream. Was this really happening?
“Yes,” I replied, laughing slightly, more from disbelief than anything else. This is definitely not how I thought this night would end.
Dominick stood and pulled me into his arms. The second our skin touched, my eyes flooded, and I sobbed against his shoulder, filled with a mix of too many emotions to count. Most of them were good, but there was still some doubt that this was even real. When he pulled away and touched my face though, I knew it was. And when his lips met mine, a pleasant shiver rolled through me that couldn't have possibly been all in my mind.
My hand reached down to grip his cock, and painful memories flooded through me of having to touch Jeff. Dominick wasn't Jeff though. I could feel that beneath my fingers.
Was this wrong or right? I wasn't sure. My heart felt like it had been at sea for months, completely battered. My body still cringed slightly from being touched, but I knew that we needed to do this—needed to do this so that I could heal, so that Dominick and I could become one again.
I worked his manhood until it was stiff against me, and he kissed me. Oh, how he kissed me. His mouth was full of passion, his lips moving on top of mine with tempered desperation. He needed this just as badly as I did.
Dominick's slick hands wandered my body, causing a trial of goosebumps and confusing sensation wherever he touched. I knew they were his hands, but my mind kept going back to the horrible experience with Jeff. It was like an internal battle to gain pleasure from the touch, to remember that it belonged to someone I loved. No matter how much I tried though, I couldn't get comfortable with it, and I feared that I would ruin the moment.
“I want you inside of me,” I broke away from the kiss to say.
Thankfully, Dominick was too aroused to argue. With a strong hand, he grabbed one of my legs and pulled it over his hip, pressing me against the tile wall. I worried I might slip, but Dominick had a firm hold on me, and when he pushed his manhood inside of me, all of my fears melted away into pleasure. A soft groan escaped my lips as he bucked forward to fill me, and I wrapped my arms loosely around his neck while he reclaimed my body. Though his touch had felt somewhat wrong, this was completely right.
Every second spent connected to Dominick helped to erase the bad memories of Jeff's touch. Maybe not so much erase them, but to remind me that he wouldn't be touching me again. Dominick's touch meant pleasure, and in his protective arms, under the weight of his body, that was all I would feel. The sex was just as much emotional for me as it was physical. It was as if each thrust helped to reconnect some wires inside of me that Jeff had broken. It was sexual repair.
I couldn't help but wonder if Dominick was feeling the same thing. He was so engrossed in our love making, holding me tightly, his eyes hooded, whispering sweet words into my ear while he proved their meaning to me. If he had ever told me that he loved me more times in one day, I couldn't remember. It was like a month's worth of affection condensed into thirty minutes of passionate hot shower sex. And I loved every minute of it.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
There was no avoiding it now. I had to tell Tammy about my relationship with Dominick. It was a hurdle that should have been crossed a long time ago, but now that we were both fully committed, we would jump over it together.
My fingers trembled slightly as I dialed Tammy's number while I sat on Dominick's lap in the living room. His arms were draped loosely around my waist, a content smile on his face. For as much as he had continually told me he didn't care if she knew about us or not, he seemed happy that I was finally going to tell her.
“I'm scared,” I mumbled as the phone began to ring on the other end of the line.
“Don't be. I'm here with you,” Dominick whispered in my ear. It was easy for him to sound confident. He wasn't the one about to get a lecture.
“Hello,” Tammy answered.
“Hey, sis,” I said, unable to hide the nervousness from my voice.
“Kim. How's it going?”
“It's going good. Really good.” I nodded, glancing down at the one karat princess cut diamond engagement ring that Dominick had bought me the day after he proposed.
“Glad to hear it. I'm alright too. Work was a bit stressful, but it's over now,” she sighed.
“Um . . . I have something I need to tell you.” A hard lump formed in my throat as I approached the moment of truth.
“Oh?”
“Dominick proposed to me.”
“What?” her voice went flat.
“He proposed. Now, before you freak out, you should know that we've been dating for a long time. We just didn't tell you because we didn't think you'd approve.”
“Well, that explains a lot,” Tammy huffed, obviously displeased. “How long is a long time?”
“For over a year.” I sank back against Dominick, preparing for her wrath, and he gave me a gentle reassuring hug.
“Wow,” she sounded genuinely surprised.
“Are you angry?”
“Well, I'm not pleased that you kept something like this from me.”
“I know, and I'm sorry. Things have gotten serious though, and I want you to be a part of the wedding. I knew I was going to have to tell you eventually.”
“I think this is something that would be better discussed in person.”
“Alright. Dominick and I can come over whenever you want, or you can come over here.”
“I'd rather it just be you and I.”
“Why?” I quirked an eyebrow.
“Because you're my sister, and I'd like to talk to you alone.”
“Fine,” I sighed, already figuring that she was going to try to talk me out of it. “I can be over in a little while.”
“It's been a long day, Kim. W
hy don't you come over tomorrow afternoon? I really need some time to process this first too.”
“Alright, sis. Whatever's better for you.”
“Tomorrow would definitely be better. I'll talk to you then, okay.”
“Okay. Hope you feel better.”
“Thanks.”
I leaned back against Dominick when I hung up the phone, analyzing the things that Tammy had said and the sound of her voice. She had handled the news surprisingly well, probably because she was tired. Tomorrow would be a different story, I was sure.
“That went better than expected,” Dominick commented.
“Don't count on it. She wants me to come over tomorrow so that we can talk.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
“She wants me to come alone.” I frowned.
“Oh. Well, I will pray for you then.”
“Easy for you to say, jerk.” I gave him a playful jab in the ribs, and my misery melted away as he wrestled me down on the loveseat, restraining my wrists while he kissed me. A soft purr left my throat as his mouth moved on top of mine, and I knew that everything would be alright.
Unfortunately, that feeling didn't carry over into the next day. As I drove to Tammy's place after school, the knots in my stomach fought for space, preparing me for the unpleasantness of the battle to come. Tammy had a night to think about what I told her, and I was certain she'd have a whole arsenal of reasons as to why Dominick and I shouldn't be together. She'd play the age card, the money card, the taking advantage card, and I'd be ready to throw her hand right back at her.
I pulled up in front of her ridiculously large house and sighed. This was not going to be fun. All I could hope for was that she wouldn't be pissed at me when I left. I had to make her understand that this was my life, and if I wanted Dominick to be my husband, then that was just something she was going to have to deal with.
The knots in my stomach seemed to grow ten fold as I walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. When Tammy opened it, she didn't seem happy to see me, and that only made things worse. And when I say she didn't seem happy to see me, it's not that she wasn't smiling. I could just see right through that smile to the core of things, that she was just as nervous about this visit as I was.
“Come in,” she said, stepping away from the door to let me inside.
I followed her into the dining room, pulling out one of the side chairs while she took a seat at the head of the table. This is what we usually did when I came over to talk with her. Instead of the living room being the focal point for socialization, somehow the dining room had become it instead. Maybe because it was close to the kitchen and easier to serve drinks and be a good host that way. I wasn't really sure. I only knew that we pretty much only went into the living room to watch television.
“So, show me your ring,” Tammy requested, at least trying to make an attempt at being excited for me. When I held my hand out, she gave the ring a weak smile. “Wow. That's definitely something Dominick would pick out.”
“I like yours better,” I confessed, “but I couldn't bare to tell him that.”
The diamond in Tammy's engagement ring had been cut round while mine was square. I thought the boxiness of my ring made it look a little old fashioned. Dominick had picked it out though, so it was special to me.
“It's a pretty ring,” she told me.
“I like it.”
“So, when did the two of you get engaged?”
“He proposed to me a few nights ago.”
“I must admit, I'm a bit curious about how all of this started.”
“Well.” I scratched the back of my head. “I've always liked Dominick, ever since we were kids, you know. When he said I could move in with him to go to college, I was kind of hoping something like this would happen. And, it did.”
Tammy nodded slowly. “So, it just happened?”
“Yeah. It just happened.”
“And you didn't tell me because?”
“Because I thought you would freak out.”
“I am kind of freaked out.”
“I can tell,” I laughed nervously.
“Dominick is a lot older than you.”
“I'm well aware of that.”
“That doesn't bother you at all?”
“Not in the least. Age doesn't matter. He's good to me. He takes care of me. He goes above and beyond to make sure I'm happy. And I love him.”
She sighed, “I'm going to be blunt, Kim. I think it's a bad idea for you to marry him.”
“I figured you would.”
“I know you don't care about the age difference now. It really doesn't matter right now. You're both still young. But eventually, it's going to matter.”
“I already know what you're going to say. He's going to get old, and I'm going to have to take care of him. I get that, and I'm fine with it. It's the least I can do after everything he's done for me. And besides, I love him. Isn't that what you do for someone you love, regardless of age? I could get cancer tomorrow, and he'd have to take care of me. Or he could die before he even has the chance to get old. What's the point of worrying about the future when the future is unpredictable?”
“Because realistically, he's going to die before you.”
“You don't know that.”
“I do, but I can see that you don't care, so let's go over some other reasons why I think it's a bad idea.”
“Like what?”
“Like the fact that you can't have a normal relationship because of who he is and your age difference.”
“I thought we weren't going to talk about age anymore?”
“Well, this kind of ties into that.”
“If you're wondering if Dominick and I have the same relationship that I would have with someone who is my own age, the answer is obviously no, and I'm fine with that too. I'm not losing out on life by being with him. I still go out with my friends and do normal college stuff, and Dominick and I do our own thing. It's kind of like having two separate lives, and I like it that way.”
“What about his profession though? Dominick is on his way to being very famous. Once the movie comes out . . . It just might be hard to be with him. The fame could get to his head. It could change him.”
“Pfft,” I laughed incredulously. “Do you know how hard it is for me to get him to even go to the parties that have been thrown for his books and the movie? His publicist literally approached me to talk him into going. If there's one person I'm not worried about fame changing, it's Dominick. Besides, he's already famous, and it doesn't put any strain on our relationship.”
“You don't worry about him cheating when he goes on business trips without you?”
“I did at first, but not anymore. Dominick is like a puppy. He loves unconditionally. Does he look at other women? Sure. He's a guy. But I know he doesn't go there, and that's all that matters to me.
“Trust me, him and I have already been through the typical relationship pit falls, trust issues and what not. We're both jealous people. We both love each other to a stupid level. Neither one of us would screw that up by cheating.
“Come on, Tammy, you know Dominick. He's a great man. Almost perfect. Can't you just be happy for us.”
“If he was perfect, that thing with his little cousin wouldn't have happened,” she grumbled.
“It's not his fault. He was just trying to help someone out, the same as he has with you and I in the past. I'm sure he didn't expect it to backfire.”
“Well, it did.”
“Yes, it did, and we can't change that. All we can do is move on from it.”
“I'm always going to be angry at him for that.” Tammy wrapped her arms around herself, looking away from me.
“Why? It didn't happen to you. I've gotten over it already.”
She sighed, “I don't like this.”
“You don't have to like it. You just have to accept it.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
DOMINICK
Kim seemed to be in a
good mood when she got home, so I could only assume things had gone well. She beamed at me when she entered my office, and I smiled back, pushing away from my keyboard to take her into my arms.
“Everything is going to be alright,” she said with a content sigh.
It was all the invitation that I needed to initiate some physical celebration. Squeals of joy turned into moans of pleasure as we fucked on the floor of my office. Part of me felt bad for being unable to control myself. Kim always ended up with rug burn on her back and knees afterward, but she never complained. She was good to me like that.
We decided that she'd move back into my bedroom after the wedding. Due to her trauma from the experience with Jeff, I hired an interior decorator to come in and redo some things to make the room have less of a haunting memory for her. I had the walls repainted an eggshell white with a gray trim, and I had the furniture removed and replaced, along with all the artwork. It probably could have waited until closer to the wedding, but I hated the idea of the room being an unpleasant reminder every time she walked into it.
Everything seemed to be going well—too well. Soon, Kim would be my wife, and I wouldn't have to worry about losing her anymore. Tammy was getting over her anger at me. The condo was getting a makeover. And my writing was surprisingly on deadline.
I was tapping away on my keyboard one day when I heard a knock on the door. Thinking it was one of the contractors, I simply yelled for them to come in. Several minutes later, I looked up to an unexpected sight. Tammy was leaning on the door frame, watching me with a plain expression.
“Tammy.” I greeted her as I swiveled my chair around to stand.
“Don't get up. I just wanted to stop by and talk to you for a little while before Kim gets home.”
“I need to get away from the computer anyway,” I told her, getting up to lead her into the living room. “Something to drink?”
“No. Thank you,” she replied, taking a seat on the loveseat opposite from me. “You know, you really shouldn't leave your front door open like that. That's just an invitation for unsavory characters.” Tammy scowled, causing a wave of guilt to roll through me.
