Keeland laughs, sliding his hand across the back of Sammie’s chair. “Sounds pretty bad,” he says lifting his champagne flute as the server approaches with his refill.
"Ugh - so, I got a little wasted. It happens. I was in Vegas, for chrissakes. Cut me some slack." I love how her cheeks flush that shade of pink and how her eyes squint when she laughs like that. God – what a beautiful woman.
Sammie’s best friend, Isla, managed to get a table for four at the Opal Lounge to ring in the New Year. But her date cancelled on her at the last minute so Faith and I took their spot. Apparently, being here is a big deal because I hear this is the classiest place in Reyfield. I’m having an awesome time and it seems like Faith is, too. It’s a different pace from how I usually celebrate New Years’ Eve – by this time last year, I was skinny dipping at a wild moonlit party on a beach in St. Lucia with a pair of local beauties who were committed to giving me the best night ever. But I like this far better. Tonight, I’m with people I care about and it feels immensely more fulfilling.
Surprise, surprise. I can enjoy myself like an adult. Who knew?
“I’ve gotta use the ladies’ room,” Sammie announces setting her orange juice aside and pushing away from the table. Keeland helps her with her chair, running his hand possessively over her growing stomach.
Faith stands, too. “I’ll go with you.” I’m tempted to reach out and touch her before she walks away but that might come across as weird. I don’t want to creep her out by being too touchy-feely in public, especially around her friends.
As the two women walk away, Keeland clears his throat. “So, little brother, did you grow some balls and tell the girl how you feel about her?”
I lean back in my chair and run my hand over my skull. “Haven’t had the chance yet,” I wince.
“Do it, Maxwell. What the hell are you waiting for? You’re gonna regret it if you don’t.” My brother wears a shrewd expression as he bestows his unsolicited advice upon me.
“Thanks for your wise counsel, old sage one,” I mock. I straighten, trying to get rid of the nerves firing through my stomach. “Not sure I’m ready to do that.”
“Stop dicking around,” he says impatiently. “Time isn’t gonna slow down and wait for you to get your head out of your ass.”
I sigh heavily as I digest his words. "Don't get me wrong. She's gorgeous and smart and funny. But we're not compatible. We don't want the same things. I want to have sex and be wild and free. She wants a man so bad that she was willing to fly across the country to meet a stranger and jet off to Hawaii for the Holidays. We would be disastrous together."
“So, why are you here?” Keeland deadpans. “Why did you follow her all the way back to Reyfield if she's so wrong for you?"
I sit there dumbfounded. I don’t have an answer. All I have is the burning feeling in my chest that tells me I’m full of shit, that I’m scared, that I’m fucking in love. "Look, I don't know what’s going on with me, man. All I know is that the feelings exploding in my chest scare the shit out of me. I don't know what it's like to love a woman but if it feels anything like this I'm not sure I'm strong enough to handle it. So I've got to keep her at arm's length."
My brother looks at me like I’m the biggest idiot in the world. “Don’t be a coward, Maxwell.”
“This is me being brave,” I say defensively. “This is me keeping my distance so I don’t hurt her.”
He shakes his head. “That’s where you’re wrong. Loving a woman, truly loving a woman with everything you’ve got is the bravest thing a man can ever do.”
I push my chair back and stand. “I need some air,” I announce heading for the door.
I can run away from this conversation but I can’t run away from how I feel. My brother’s right. I have to find the courage to love Faith – quick – or else I’ll lose the best thing that ever happened to me.
Chapter 33
Faith
Sammie’s hands clasp around the lip of the bathroom counter and she closes her eyes momentarily. She leans forward and whooshes low on her breath.
I glance over at her reflection in the mirror as I reapply my nude lipstick. “You okay?”
She rubs a hand over her bulging belly and smiles. “Pregnant lady problems.”
“You need me to go get Keeland?”
She tsks, waving me away. “Nah – just a little dizzy.” She turns the tap and water sprays into her hands. “So, dish. Give me the scoop. What the hell is going on between you and Maxwell?”
My heart picks up at the mere mention of his name. “Nothing’s going on between us.”
“Yeah, right,” she says incredulously. “I can’t believe you’re gonna shut me out. Not cool.” She wipes her hands on a paper napkin before planting them firmly on her hips.
“There’s nothing to say.”
“Oh, come on. The guy jumped on a plane and followed you all the way to this little godforsaken town with nothing but the shirt on his back. There’s nothing casual about that, Faith. He’s into you.”
I lick my lips nervously as a group of chatty women squeeze by us, making a beeline for the toilet stalls. “You think so?” Insecurity pinches my brow.
“Definitely.” Sammie looks pretty confident in her opinion.
I slip my lipstick into my clutch and fold my arms across my chest. “But you said he was a total flirt. You pretty much warned me that he’s trouble.”
“People change, honey. Take me and Keeland, for example. Do you remember how hard I resisted him when he first came back to town and started pursuing me?”
I nod. “Yeah, you wanted nothing to do with him.”
She laughs. “And now look at me, I’m all swollen up with his baby in my belly and his ring on my fat finger and his last name hyphenated with mine…People change. And Maxwell looks a whole lot like a changed man.”
“Yeah, but then there’s the whole long-distance thing. I mean, he lives in L.A. and I live over here on the east coast.”
“Faith, you’re the girl who snuck all the way across the country to hang out with some guy you met on CheekyChat. Don’t use long-distance as an excuse. I see through your bullshit.”
I giggle because she’s right. Sammie’s always right. But I’m really scared. I don’t want to get hurt. I’d only have myself to blame because Maxwell has made it clear that he’s not the type to settle down with one woman.
I know this sounds crazy but for as long as I can remember, I’ve been searching desperately for my place in life, following any lead that I think might take me to it. And then I met Maxwell and now, it feels like I’ve found my place. He’s my place.
So, why is it so damn terrifying?
Maybe I should just woman up and tell Maxwell how I feel so that we can have an adult conversation about it once and for all and stop dancing around the issue.
Before I can rationalize the situation to death, my phone starts ringing in my clutch. I pull it out and look down at the long distance number flashing on the screen. “Hold that thought, Sam.” I swipe my pointer across the face of the phone to answer. “Hello?” I slip one finger into my ear to drown out the sound of two toilets flushing at once.
“Hello? Faith Monroe?” the male voice on the other end asks.
“Yes, this is she.” I shift to the side to let a short woman with a head of wild brown hair wash her hands in the sink.
I hear him blow a sigh of relief. “You have no idea the crazy shit I had to do to get your number.”
I pull the phone from my ear and glance at the number again. “Who exactly is this?” Sammie gives me a look and I shrug my shoulders at her.
“I’m Paul Price, Maxwell’s agent and I need to speak to him immediately.”
Chapter 34
Maxwell
This is all happening so fast.
Just by looking at Faith, I know that she wasn’t ready for it, either. But I have to leave. Paul tracked me down somehow and told me that he has a few teams that are already very interested in me
. My flight to Minnesota boards in three hours.
When I left Keeland at the table to go outside for fresh air a few minutes ago, I came up with a plan. I was going to claim Faith’s lips as the clock struck midnight and the New Years ball dropped. I was going to kiss her like I don’t want to live without her. Because I don’t. Then, I would hold her in my arms, look into those slanted eyes and tell her exactly how I feel. I’m crazy about her. I’m falling in love with her. I was going to tell her that. Then, I was going to take her home and bury myself so deep inside of her that we’d both forget what life was like before we found each other.
But that’s not going to happen tonight.
Instead, I’m saying goodbye to her on the curb outside of the Opal Lounge. Then, I’ll get on a plane, leaving this fucking fairytale behind and returning to the real world. The world where I have to be an adult and focus on my career. The world where Faith Monroe and our crazy adventure is just a memory. I knew this moment would come eventually, I just tried to delay it for as long as possible.
“We had fun together, right?” Faith asks in a small voice as we stand outside of the Maxima, holding on to our last few minutes together.
“Of course we had fun,” I say stroking a finger across her cold cheekbone.
She smiles weakly. “I just don’t want you to go around telling people that Keeland forced you to hang out with me against your will,” she jokes. Then, her eyes get serious. “And I don’t want you to forget…”
Arctic cold penetrates the layers of clothing sheathing my body. Faith trembles slightly and her eyes water. She’s just reacting to the cold. She isn’t getting emotional because I’m leaving. That’s what I have to tell myself to keep from pulling her into my arms right now.
“Faith – I will never forget the time we spent together. Never. You took me on a fucking once-in-a-lifetime adventure.” I reach out and pull her cold hand into mine, intertwining our fingers.
Now, I can hear the crowd counting down in the distance. "Ten…nine…eight..."
A tear forms in the corner of her eye. “Thank you,” she says as she inches closer and presses her body to my chest.
“Seven…six…five…four…”
I hold her close, but that’s not enough. I need to taste her again.
“Three…two…one…”
I press my mouth hard against hers. We breathe the same air as my tongue pushes past her lips. When we pull apart, the sadness in her eyes crushes me. “Happy New Year, Faith.”
“Happy New Year,” she breathes, sadness clouding her face.
“We’ll keep in touch,” I say as I yank the car door open.
One corner of her mouth lifts into a feeble smile. “Yeah, we’ll keep in touch. Of course…”
But as I peel away from the curb, I know that I’m full of shit. I don’t do relationships, right? Especially not long distance. That’s just ludicrous.
I watch her in my rearview mirror, knowing that this is probably the last time that I’ll ever see Faith Monroe’s beautiful face.
As I pull off of Clifford Boulevard and glide onto the highway, I see the first fireworks exploding in the distance. It's the New Year and like it or not, I've got to leave some things behind.
Chapter 35
Faith
“Is Sammie coming?”
I set down the bottle of Prosecco on Gracie’s low dark wood coffee table and sit cross-legged on her plush living room carpet. Isla sinks down next to me, placing a platter of veggies and dip next to the wine. Sebastian is with his father tonight so we’re having girls’ night in. it’s our way of distracting from the general sense of brokenness we’ve all been feeling lately.
“Sammie’s not invited.” The hostility pulsing in Grace’s voice takes me off-guard. She and Sammie have always been close. I’m surprised that Gracie is letting her difficulties with Daniel impede her relationship with his sister.
Gracie usually isn’t this much of a raging bitch. She’s actually quite sweet. She’s just really hurting right now and her pain is getting the best of her.
“Honey, I know that you and Daniel have been going through a rough patch but it’s really unfair to take it out on Sammie,” Isla reasons. She and Sam have been best friends since high school so I’m not surprised that she’d readily come to Sammie’s defense.
Gracie shakes her head. “I would never punish Sam for her brother’s dickheadedness. The reason I didn’t invite her is because she’s in a happy relationship. This –” she gestures to the room around us, “— is a broken-hearted girls’ night. And more importantly, Sammie’s pregnant and this is a drinking girls’ night.”
Isla and I both laugh. My sister is finally starting to make sense. I turn to Isla and say, “I’m sorry that you and Earl broke up. You guys seemed to get along so well. You always had so much to talk about. You had so much in common.”
She and Earl had been dating for a few months. She’s a yoga instructor and he’s the humanities professor at the local college. They seemed like a match made in heaven.
She rolls her eyes as she rises onto her knees and fills wine glasses for all three of us. “Yeah, well I thought so, too. Until New Years Eve when he cancelled on me and I found out that he went on a date with one of his students instead.” She hands out the drinks.
I grunt. “Really? Shit, I thought Earl was one of the good guys.”
“There are no good guys,” my sister mutters from next to me before she chugs back her wine.
I nudge my shoulder into hers. “Come on, Ms. Rain Cloud. You know that isn’t true.”
She sighs. “You are the eternal optimist, Faith. That’s your biggest problem. It’ll get you hurt every time.”
“I would never judge all men based on the few bad experiences I’ve had,” I say, grabbing a carrot stick.
“Okay, Ms. Sunshine,” my sister challenges, “tell me when was the last time you met one of the ‘good guys’.”
Of course my mind goes to Maxwell and I silently try to justify the way things turned out between us. Yes, I got hurt. But it wasn’t his fault. I knew from day one that we didn’t have a chance. Still, I flung myself headfirst into the fire.
I’m the only one to blame.
“Sounds like Maxwell was a good guy,” Isla says softly, her eyes holding so much hope.
My sister scoffs. “Maxwell left ten days ago and he hasn’t called once.”
She’s right. He hasn’t called. But honestly, I don’t blame him. Things were getting way more intense between us than he was comfortable with. He’s not a relationship guy and whatever it is that we had going on was starting to get really heavy, really emotional. So, am I disappointed that he hasn’t kept in touch? Yes. But am I surprised? Not at all. He was very clear with me about the type of guy he is. Plus, we couldn’t realistically make it work long-distance anyway.
“Sometimes the good guys break your heart when they aren’t even trying,” I sigh. “I don’t feel too good. I’m gonna go lie down.” I don’t wait for them to answer as I climb the stairs to Gracie’s guest bedroom.
Chapter 36
Faith
Tonight is one of those bleak Reyfield winter nights that I was dreading. After changing my linens, cleaning my refrigerator and folding my laundry, I sit alone on my couch with a huge mug of hot chocolate topped with marshmallows. I’m not in the mood for Netflix and I don’t feel like seeing my friends. There’s only one person I want to be with right now – I dare not even say his name – but I know that I can’t.
For the past little while, it’s like I haven’t had the energy to do much. I wake up, go to work, come home, then sleep. I don’t like having to admit it, but I think I’m lovesick. I know – it’s pathetic. I meet this guy, spend a few days with him and now my whole life is in a state of upheaval. But such is my current reality.
And nobody likes a desperate chick…not even said desperate chick herself.
I unlock my phone and open my voicemail. It’s overflowing with messages that have
been accumulating since I was in L.A. I’m pretty sure that most of them are from Dustin and I guess I’m feeling masochistic tonight because I decide to filter through them once and for all. I take a sip of the hot chocolate and let each message play, rolling my eyes and scoffing as I delete them.
A sudden bang at the door startles me. I stand, setting my phone and my drink on the coffee table. I finger-comb my hair and pull my sweatshirt into order as I pad to the door. A short man in a postal service uniform stands there, barely able to see above the tall package he’s holding out to me.
“Faith Monroe?”
I nod lethargically. “Yup.”
Dirty Player (The Dirty Suburbs Book 2) Page 17
