by Caroline Lee
Trying not to feel like he’d been thrown over in favor of a book, Alek offered a little bow. “I wish you happy reading, Marcia.”
She curtsied. “Thank you, Your Highness.”
“One day I hope you’ll call me ‘Alek,’” he said, swallowing his sigh.
“Yes, Your Highness.” She glanced over his shoulder. “Will she be going with you tonight?”
It was such an odd question, Alek twisted to see who Marcia meant. Toni was staring down at the two of them, her expression unreadable.
Why had Marcia asked? Was she jealous? “Dryden is on duty tonight, just like the rest of the guards.” He’d seen them sprinkled throughout the crowd, doing their best to fit in so they could be close to him and Mother.
“I think you should let her escort you to your study.” Marcia was speaking to her hands once more.
“Why?” he barked, then softened his voice to say, “She’s just my bodyguard.”
“She’s very protective,” Marcia whispered. “I don’t think she’d rest if you left with someone else.”
Hmmm. Alek turned his attention back to Toni, who was leaning against the second-floor balcony, resting her weight on her hips. She was scanning the room, in between glancing at him, and he liked how vigilant she was. When she was in these situations, he’d noticed how tense and alert she was…but when it was just the two of them, she seemed much more at ease.
Maybe Marcia is right.
It wasn’t until Marcia giggled slightly that Alek realized he’d said that aloud.
Shit, no way around it now.
He lifted his perhaps-not-entirely-well-suited-fiancée’s hand and placed a kiss on the knuckles, like some old-fashioned dandy, trying to ignore the little smirk she was pointing at the ground.
“Lady Marcia, thank you for the dances.”
“Have a pleasant evening, Your Highness,” she murmured as she drifted away.
He nodded once, glanced at Toni, and jerked his chin towards the door. She exchanged purposeful nods with Rogers across the room, and slid away from the balcony. She was poised and professional, and Alek felt a bubble of pride well up inside him at the realization she was his.
But that wasn’t right. She wasn’t truly his, was she? She was only there because he paid her to be.
To be his bodyguard.
CHAPTER FIVE
Toni hurried after Alek, cursing the dumb dress which limited her stride. At least she wasn't wearing heels, but even the sensible black flats made her miss her boots. And when she had to hike up the hem to keep from tripping on it, she was reminded of how far out of her element she really was. At least her new element. There’d been a time in her childhood when wearing a ball gown and fancy shoes felt perfectly normal, but that was long ago.
They didn't speak until they reached the prince’s chambers. “What did Lady Marcia have to say?” she asked, her curiosity finally winning out over the silence.
“Hmm?” Alek concentrated on keying in this week's code to the electronic lock outside his rooms.
When the door slid open, he stepped to one side to allow her to enter first. It wasn't chivalry, she knew, but rather years of ingrained practice to allow his bodyguard into each room first to assess for threats. Toni scanned the room, and when she didn't see anything out of the ordinary, nodded at him to enter.
As he loosened his bowtie and crossed his desk, she repeated, “What did the lady Marcia have to say? There at the end?”
Alek froze, his back to her. “What makes you think she had anything to say?” His voice sounded a little strained.
Toni's lips twitched. “Only that you two were talking after your dance, she looked at me and said something, and you both turned,” she said a little wryly. And you seemed paler than usual, but she didn't say that part out loud. He was her employer, after all.
Was it her imagination, or did his shoulders slump there a little? He shook himself and headed for his desk once more. He reached up and pulled off his gold coronet with what sounded like relieved sigh, and tossed it beside his laptop.
“She asked me if you were the one on duty tonight, because she'd noticed how protective you are of me.”
Toni's brows shot up. That was a hell of an odd thing for a spoiled debutante like Marcia to notice. “Is that all?”
Alek must’ve noticed her sharp tone, because he glanced up at her from where he was still fiddling with his tie. “Yeah.” He frowned slightly. “She told me she was going to go read her book, asked me if I was heading back to my study now that I was done dancing with her, and wished me a pleasant evening.”
Toni's lips pressed into a thin line. Maybe it was nothing. But years of sensing trouble told her to be alert. “You don't have any other plans tonight?” If he had, she would know about it, but she needed to double-check.
“No, where would I go?” He settled back in his chair, his bowtie finally dangling around his neck, and undid the top two buttons of his tuxedo shirt. “Some of my brothers might sneak away later for all the carousing in the streets going on down at the city, but I have too much work to do.”
He settled into his chair as the distant sounds of revelry drifted through the opened window behind his desk. Sighing, he pushed aside his crown and reached for his laptop to pull it closer, using the touch pad to open up whatever program he needed.
Toni settled into her version of parade rest on the other side of the desk, frowning thoughtfully. The lady Marcia had been a little too willing to give up on her dance with Alek. If Toni’d had such a fine specimen in her arms, she wouldn’t have let him go so easily, no matter how wrong they were for one another, and no matter how much work he had waiting in his study.
Still, Marcia was a very different breed from Toni... Maybe she understood the prince’s obligations, and agreed with them. As the daughter of one of Aegiria’s most powerful families—her father was not only an Earl, but a member of the Council—Marcia would’ve been raised to understand duty and tradition, just like Alek. Maybe they really were perfect for each other.
And why did that irritate Toni so much? It wasn’t like she had any claim on Alek. She didn’t even like the man.
No, that was a lie. She liked him very much—too much. But it was useless to even think about having a chance with him; he was a prince, and she was some cowgirl from Idaho with a talent for kicking ass and taking names.
A few minutes passed in silence as Toni tried to convince herself why she shouldn’t be jealous of Marcia, and Alek frowned unmoving at the laptop screen. Finally, he made an exasperated noise, and slammed the lid shut.
“Sir?” Toni's brow raised in question.
Alek growled softly. “I can't concentrate on this! I can't concentrate on anything...”
She was moving before she realized, a half-formed idea in her head to offer him another massage. Forcing herself to freeze before she reached him, she tightened her hands into fists and tried to control her voice. “What’s wrong?”
“I think I made a mistake with Marcia.” The confession looked like it pained him. Still, he managed to be handsome as sin, even glaring down at his computer.
But Toni had to agree with him—the lady’s reaction had been downright suspicious. “By telling her your plans for the evening?”
“No, by getting engaged to her.”
Well, that rocked her back on her non-existent heels, especially after the conversation she’d had with the queen earlier that evening. “Well, it hasn’t been announced yet, so it’s not really official. But what makes you say that?” she asked. Did he know about his mother’s reservations about the match?
Alek sighed and propped his elbows on the desk, dropping his head into his hands and tugging at the hair above each ear. “I don’t know. She’s…” His tongue flicked out over his lip, as if trying to decide what to say. “I thought she’d be good for the country, but I’m not so sure now.”
Toni’s senses shot into high-alert again, thinking about the debutante’s innocent questions that
night. “Why not?” she barked.
Maybe he didn’t notice her sharpness, because he didn’t look up. “I’ve been trained to rule Aegiria, so I figured it didn’t matter who I married, as long as she and I were compatible. But…I’m not sure Marcia and I are compatible. And that would be okay, if she were the right choice as queen, but the more I know about her, the more…”
Forcing a nonchalance she didn’t feel, Toni prompted him when he trailed off. “What?”
“The more I compare her to my mother and to—” He cut himself off. “This country has had a strong queen for years, and what I know about Marcia doesn’t seem she’s that type.”
Her heart was pounding in her chest as she propped her hip against his desk. Was he finally understanding his mother and Maarten’s point about marrying for love rather than duty? Marcia was exactly what Alek had been looking for in a wife…but not who he wanted as queen?
She cleared her throat. “What type of woman do you want for your queen?”
“A woman like—” He caught himself with a whispered curse. “I mean, I don’t know. Not anymore,” he finished in a whisper.
Toni swallowed, her throat dry. “How about a woman you love?” That was, after all, Queen Viktoria’s whole point.
“Love?” He twisted in his chair, his hands dropping away from his head. “You’re really suggesting—?” Groaning, he closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the leather of his chair. “My mother thinks that way too, you know. She thinks love is relevant in royal marriages.”
A bark of laughter burst out of Toni, surprising her. “This isn’t the medieval period, Alek. Even queens can marry whoever they want these days.”
“They shouldn’t. She shouldn’t.”
“Why not?” She could feel the irritation churning in her stomach, and resisted the urge to pace in this ridiculous gown. “Why shouldn’t she marry whoever she wants? Because you don’t think her choice is suitable? Oh, wait,” she said sarcastically, “it’s because you don’t think the people will think he’s suitable?”
Slowly, Alek sat straight once more, his grey eyes open and spitting fire at her. “Because he isn’t suitable. He’s completely inept when it comes to court life and intrigue, and he trips over his own two feet.” Alek stood up, his anger obviously overriding his exhaustion, and planted his fists on his desk. “Dr. Hayes is an embarrassment to Aegiria, but since he’s such a brilliant environmentalist and has helped build sustainable fishing stock in the seas surrounding our nation, and thus significantly bolstered our economy, he’s tolerated. That does not make him suitable for a queen’s consort!”
“Plus,” Toni added dryly, unimpressed by the prince’s tirade, “he’s an American.”
“American has nothing to do with it!” Alek exploded, throwing his hands into the air. “You’re an American, and I like you well enough.”
Her arms across her chest, Toni cocked one brow. “Well enough? Thanks a lot.”
Stormy grey eyes narrowed in irritation. “You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t.” Toni straightened, dropping her arms to her side. “You know what your problem is, Highness?”
“Alek,” he corrected automatically.
“Alek.” She started towards him. “You’re a martyr to your own opinion of yourself. You insist on putting the country ahead of your own wants and desires, without stopping to think that it isn’t necessary.” Stopping an arm’s reach from him, she leaned forward slightly, trying to make him understand. “Your people love you, and want you to be happy. Whoever you chose for a queen will be good for the country, because you chose her! Because you love her.”
He snorted and turned away slightly. “Being a good leader doesn’t have anything to do with love. Love isn’t necessary when it comes to royal marriages.” The anger still simmered in his voice.
“Love is vital to all marriages.”
“I can’t believe I’m having this argument with you.”
“Because I’m American? Because I’m a woman? Because I’m your bodyguard? Or because you just can’t acknowledge you’re wrong when it comes to figuring out what kind of wife to choose?”
His breath exploded out of him in a laugh that wasn’t at all joyful, and he turned anguished eyes on her. “Because you’re the kind of woman I would chose!”
Well, shit.
He hadn’t meant to blurt it out like that, but it might’ve been inevitable, considering Toni had been the one he’d been thinking of since Marcia had pointed her out. He’d been sitting here at his desk, listening to the country celebrating the start of summer and enjoying the nice evening breeze—he hadn’t even known these windows could open!—and yeah, thinking about Toni.
About the way she looked in that simple black gown, the high neckline and racer-back straps accentuating her shoulders and…and everything else. About the way she watched and protected, loyal through-and-through, dedicated to her mission. About how Mother was that way too, even if she couldn’t knock a man’s teeth out through his nose the way Toni could.
Alek had been sitting there, thinking that maybe the country didn’t need a sweet debutante like Marcia, bred for looking pretty in royal portraits and smiling quietly behind her husband. Maybe what Aegiria needed was another queen like Mother; strong, capable, and loyal beyond a doubt. Maybe Alek had been looking for the wrong qualities in a wife.
And if that new profile just happened to fit someone he already knew and worked with, someone he was finding himself inappropriately attracted to… Was that a bad thing?
But…she was just staring at him, expression unreadable. She wasn’t jumping for joy, didn’t even look pleased by his accidental confession. On the other hand, she wasn’t laughing at him either, so there was that.
He straightened, and rolled his shoulders, feeling like he was preparing for another one of her sparring matches. Was she about to lay into him, or was he going to look like a fool? And was it dumb that he wanted a fight, to relieve some of this tension?
Finally, she shifted, locking her hands behind her back—No, do not stare at her boobs in that position, idiot!—and taking a deep breath.
“You’d choose a woman like me? How like me, exactly? Marcia and I couldn’t be more different.”
“Exactly.”
One slim blonde brow rose. “You’ve been defending your choice of a non-official fiancée to your mother for a while. You want someone good for the country, regardless of your feelings for her, so you chose someone who understood duty and tradition and all that crap you place value on.”
Part of him bristled at the thought of her calling everything important in his life “crap”…but another part of him sighed with acceptance. “Yeah, and it’s still important to me that my future wife—Aegiria’s future queen—be loyal and devoted to this country, but I’m beginning to think I need—I mean, Aegiria needs—more.”
“And someone like me would be more?” she asked, her voice as bland as her expression.
“Someone like you…”
Alek’s breath exploded in a noise halfway between a laugh and a growl. He raked his fingers through his hair, and twisted away from her, stomping around the desk in the opposite direction to begin pacing. “Someone like you…”
How to start? How to describe what he saw when he looked at Mother? When he looked at Toni.
“You’re…you’re strong. Capable. Intelligent.”
“I was in the US Army,” she said dryly.
“It’s more than that. You’re loyal and—and trustworthy.”
“So are dogs.”
Dammit. He stopped pacing, and faced her once more. “You’re resilient. That can’t be taught, but it can be learned. You’re resilient and brave and determined.” He resisted the urge to run his hand through his hair yet again. He hadn’t been this flustered since…well, since the last time he’d argued with her. “When you met adversity, you armed yourself with skills to prevent it from happening again.”
He held his breath,
and watched her finally react. Only problem was, it didn’t look like it was the way he wanted. Her hands slowly dropped to her sides—already clenched into fists—and her expression turned incredulous.
“You think I’d make a good queen because I was raped?”
He winced at her tone, then winced again at her words. “No! No.” It made him sick to think about her going through that, her having to overcome it. “I’m sorry it happened to you, but the way you reacted was…was admirable. Besides,” he added in a mumble, “I wasn’t talking about you. Just someone like you.”
“Good.” She began to stalk towards him. “Because I’m not interested. Being queen of Aegiria would mean having to marry you.”
Her answer stunned him enough to actually make him stumble backwards, until he realized it looked like he was running away and took several steps forward to meet her in the middle of the room.
“And that would be horrible, would it? Marrying me?” The notion stung.
“Hell yes, it would. You think someone like me would make a good queen?”
They were nose-to-nose now. “I know it.” He’d been comparing Marcia—someone he thought would make a good queen—with Toni all evening, and knew the truth.
“What about a good wife?”
Alek narrowed his eyes. “What?”
She was so close now, he could see the flecks of brown in her blue eyes. Eyes which were spitting fire at him as her chin came up defiantly. “You’re talking about finding someone who’d be a good queen, but you haven’t said shit about finding a good wife. You’re still missing your mother’s point.”
“My mother?” he asked incredulous. “I can’t believe you’re bringing my mother into this!”
“You started it, so why not?” She cocked a brow, and he could see her shrug doing all sorts of interesting things to her body below her shoulders, but he refused to drop her gaze to investigate.
“Why not? Because she’s my mother. I don’t need to be thinking about her—or anyone else!—when I’m propositioning a woman.”
