I shifted in my stance, unable to think straight, fear bearing down on me like a ton of bricks. We had just made up. He had just started to open up to me. He had just started to become the man in the relationship that I’d wanted him to be. I couldn’t lose him. I couldn’t let him be in there all alone, possibly hurt. I turned to Alison and took her hands.
“I have to go in,” I said calmly. “I can’t let him die in there. I love him, and you know I don’t say things like that lightly. I know you don’t want me to, and I know it’s probably a stupid choice, but I have to do it, and I need you to let me go.”
I turned to walk toward the bar, watching Alison wrap her arms around herself when the sound of sirens blared, and the fire engine came rearing up the drive. I stopped and let out a deep breath, running across the lawn to where they were. They started to unload, and I started screaming at them.
“There’s a man in there,” I screamed. “He’s inside. God, help him.”
“There’s someone coming out,” one of the firefighters yelled.
Slowly, I turned around, cupping my hand to my mouth and started sobbing. From the smoke and the flames, Ryan came running out of the barn, pulling a horse behind him. His face was covered in soot, and he was coughing loudly. He let go of the horse, and it ran off into the pasture, just far enough away from the smoke to breathe. My hands dropped to my side, and for a moment, everything stopped. The firemen were running toward us, but I couldn’t hear the sirens any longer. Everything was muffled. All I could do was stand there staring at Ryan, as the men made their way toward him. He had survived. He had come out, and he was still alive. Between the smoke and flames, I’d thought he was gone. I didn’t even know what to do in that moment.
He was shirtless, having wrapped his shirt around the horse’s eyes to lead it out past the flames. He had not only sacrificed his life trying to save the animal from dying, but he had given it protection to get it through unharmed. I couldn’t be prouder of him, more thankful fir what he had done. My heart fluttered in my chest, looking at this strong man, walking bravely from the flames, having sacrificed himself and his safety for me yet again. Alison looked over at me in complete shock, and it brought me from my haze.
“Ryan,” I screamed out, running across the lawn to him.
I went to throw my arms around him, but one of the firefighters caught me around the waist and pulled me back from the smoke. I watched as they led him carefully away from the barn, asking him questions, looking over his body for burns. He needed to be treated and fast, so I calmed myself and ran over next to Alison, taking her by the hand and squeezing it tightly.
“It seems you found yourself one hell of a man,” she whispered, turning back toward the barn.
They had to treat him for smoke inhalation and make sure he wasn’t burned. I stood in the grass, staring at the ambulance, watching them clean off his face and look over his bare skin for any signs of burns. I was impatient. I wanted to be with him, but I knew it was important that he got treatment first. He had risked his life for me and those horses, and there was nothing I could ever do or say to repay that debt. I turned back to the barn and shuddered, watching the fire blaze uncontrollably.
Alison grabbed my hand and pulled me back over to the side of the fence. The firefighters dragged their hoses out to the barn and began spraying it down. I grabbed tighter to Alison at the very loud cracking sound that started as soon as the water hit. Without warning, the entire roof collapsed into the barn, followed by the walls. I covered my mouth and shook my head, not believing what happened. The barn was completely ruined, nothing but a pile of burning ash and rubble. There was not going to be any coming back from that. The thing was way too damaged.
We watched as they continued to pour water over the structure, the steam and smoke crackling as it rose into the sky. I turned to look back at Ryan and saw them shaking his hand and releasing him. I kissed Alison on the cheek and took off across the yard, running straight into his arms.
“You are so crazy,” I said. “You could have been killed. God, thank you so much for rescuing those horses. They would have died in there. They would have been crushed by the roof. Thank you, a million times.”
“I couldn’t let you go in there, and I couldn’t bear to see those horses die,” he whispered. “I will always protect you.”
When the firemen had finally extinguished the last of the glowing ash, Ryan and I walked over to Alison. The fire chief approached, leaning forward and shaking Ryan’s hand. Alison took in a deep breath and glanced over at me, pain in her eyes.
“We have some questions to ask,” he said kindly.
“Right,” Alison said. “Sara, why don’t you take Ryan inside and help him get cleaned up. I can take it from here.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” she said. “You two did your duty. And thank you, Ryan.”
“Of course,” he said, taking my arm and hobbling toward the house with me.
I was still in complete shock and awe. I couldn’t believe how he had risked his life rather than let me risk mine. I guess after everything we had been through, after all the times he’d been my protector and gotten me out of bad situations, I shouldn’t be that surprised, but this was different. He literally risked his own life to free those horses, to keep me out of harm’s way. And in the end, it was all for animals he had never even been around before, animals that really meant nothing to him, nor did he have any kind of connection to. He did it for the well-being of the organization, and even more so, for me, for the woman he had been trying so hard to keep in his life. Part of me felt guilty for everything I had put him through, not realizing he had that kind of compassion or love inside of him. It was amazing, so amazing that I couldn’t even wrap my head around it fully.
Ryan was a little banged up with some cuts and a sore leg, but thankfully, he didn’t have any burns. I helped him into the shower and washed off the soot that he couldn’t reach. When he was done, I rebandaged his wounds and helped him into the spare bedroom. There was no way I was sending him back to that hotel. He sat down on the bed and took my hand, looking up at me.
“Will you stay and sleep here with me tonight?” he asked.
“Of course,” I said, sitting next to him. “How could I say no to you, especially after everything you just did. Of course, I’ll stay with you.”
Chapter 55
Ryan
That night, she tucked me carefully into bed and went back out to make sure Alison didn’t need any more help. When she came back, she was all showered and crawled into bed with me. I was barely awake, but I put my arm around her and pulled her close to me, not wanting to let go for even a second. My sleep was not a dreamless one that night, and I struggled through a series of nightmares. Each one was a little different, but they all had the same commonalities. There were raging fires, the sounds of the horses scream echoing through my head. In each one, Sara was in danger, yelling out for me, begging me to help her. And in each one, as soon as I got anywhere near her, she was being pulled away from me with a force I couldn’t see. I would search through the flames and smoke, coughing and hacking my way through the dark space. I could hear her and the horses all around me, but there was nothing I could do. I was helpless.
I woke up, opening my eyes wide, breathing heavily with sweat pouring down my forehead. I looked around, noticing the sun peeking through the windows. My heart was racing a million miles a second, but as soon as I felt the weight of Sara in my arms, I began to calm down. She was safe. There was no more fire, and the horses were out in the pastures in the distance. I laid my head back down on the pillow for a moment and caught my breath, realizing it had been a nightmare, and everything was as it was supposed to be.
When I had settled myself back down, I turned my head and looked over at Sara, peacefully asleep, her head resting on my shoulder. I couldn’t believe I was holding her again, feeling her close to me. I hadn’t thought I would ever have her back in my arms, especially after being
inside of that collapsing, burning barn. But here she was, safe, sound, clean, and comfortable, not leaving my side for more than an hour the night before trying to help wherever she could. She was such an amazing woman, and I was starting to feel like maybe I had been wrong. Maybe I was good enough for her or at least getting there slowly.
The day before had started out so simple, so calm. I had seen Sara when making my way through town, coming to the stables to talk to Alison. I had been able to meet the horses, and in particular, the one I had led from the barn with my shirt wrapped around its face. She had taken me by the hand and really listened to me, forgave me, and jumped into my arms like I had dreamed she would when I had taken that flight out to Bonanza in the first place. But then things got really scary, really fast. The fire had come out of nowhere, and the thought of Sara risking her life was not okay with me.
I could remember what it was like standing in that blazing building, smoke filling my lungs and the horses bucking wildly. I got the gate open and shooed three of the horses out, but the forth was tied to the stall for grooming. I walked over and calmed my nerves, reaching forward and running my hand down its nose like Alison had taught me. I knew the flames would continue to excite him, so I took my shirt off and wrapped it around his eyes, shielding him from the view while I worked hard to untie him. The thought of Sara being in danger, of being where I was in that barn had kicked my adrenaline into overdrive. It had given me the will and the way to get those cords untangled, pull myself from the ground when part of the ceiling collapsed, and fight and choke my way back out of that barn. It was the thought of her that had saved me from being caught in that fire, the thought that I would never see her again, never hold her in my arms.
The thought of losing Sara, it had terrified me to the point where I fought tooth and nail to get that horse to safety and get out. She needed me, and I needed her, and that was never going to change. I knew that now. I would do whatever it took, even putting my own life on the line to save hers, to protect her, to be with her through all odds. I wouldn’t rest until I knew she was safe and had everything in life that she needed. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for her. At that moment, she began to stir, whimpering slightly as she turned into me and ran her hand over my chest. I smiled, looking down at her as the sun filtered in over her beautiful face. Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked up at me.
“Well, good morning, beautiful.” I smiled.
“My hero.” She chuckled. “How are you feeling this morning?”
“Like a barn fell on me.” I laughed. “A little sore, to say the least, but I think I’ll be just fine. Waking up next to you definitely helped me feel better almost instantly.”
“You talked a lot in your sleep last night,” she said. “You kept saying my name.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I was having nightmares about the fire. But they did do something good.”
“What’s that?” she said, picking her head up.
“The brought me clarity,” I said. “A clarity I don’t think I’ve ever had in my life, something that I had been longing for, looking for, and hoping for all this time.”
“And what does that clarity bring you?” she asked.
“A realization that I need you in my life,” I said. “Not just want you in my life, I need you in my life, like air or food or water. I know I’m not perfect. Trust me, I’ve done the measurements on that one, and I came out way far from perfect. But you, you make me want to be perfect. You make me want to be a better man, the best man I can possibly be. You deserve perfect. You deserve a man who gives as much as you do, who sees the world from the same beautiful viewpoint. You deserve a man who would run into a burning building for you.”
“Check that one off the list.” She laughed.
“I know things have been up and down for us, but I know there’s a bond there that can’t be broken,” I said. “Something that keeps me awake at night dreaming of your arms. I promise I will try harder to be that man you deserve. To be a better person, a better partner, and a kind and gentler soul. All I need is for you to give me one more chance to show you I can be that man. I need you to open that door for me because otherwise, I’m just standing on the outside continuously knocking, and I don’t want to be on the outside.”
“I know you’re a good man.” She smiled. “There were moments I had doubts but, in the end, it wasn’t from anything you specifically did. It was from the talk, the gossip, the words being spread by everyone else. You have to remember, though, no matter how good of a man you are or how much of a bond we have, we still come from different worlds. You’re a rich New Yorker with a business and a home, and I’m never going to move away from Bonanza. It’s my home, and I love it here more than anything.”
“I know that,” I said. “I think I always knew that, but there was a part of me that thought maybe you could love New York too. It was wrong of me, though. I saw that yesterday at the creek. You were born to be in this place, born to ride horses, help people, help animals, and live your life in a peaceful and serene place. But there is one thing you’re wrong about.”
“What’s that?” she asked.
“I am not a rich New Yorker,” I said. “At least I’m not one anymore. Now, well, now I’m just a guy who owns a nice plane and a weird ranch on the outskirts of town. I’m a guy with big dreams who thought he knew what he wanted, but then everything came crashing down, and it was probably the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I realized my heart was not in the tall buildings and city streets, but it was in the pastures, the creeks, the warm breezes, and the small town with no stoplights. I realized my heart belonged somewhere else even before I ever met you. It belonged with you, here in this place, far from the crazy life I used to have.”
“What?” she said with a smile.
“I’m just a guy who wants a girl,” he said. “The same girl who’s looking at me right now like I have two heads.”
“Sorry.” She chuckled.
“I’m willing to do anything to get you, to keep you, and to build a life with you,” I said quietly.
“Even run into burning buildings?”
“I would run into fifty burning buildings.” I smiled. “Though, I do ask you let me heal from this one first. I might not make it out so well with my bum leg and cuts.”
“I could arrange a parlay on the burnings.” She giggled.
“Seriously, though, I want you in my life for as long as I can possibly have you there,” I said, tilting her chin toward me.
I leaned my head forward and kissed her lips, feeling the whole world begin to melt around us. I felt like we were the only ones, like nothing else in the world mattered at that moment in time. I pulled myself carefully up in the bed, grimacing slightly as I did. Sara looked at me with concern, but I wrapped my hands around her face and pulled her to me, kissing her passionately. She whimpered as our bodies leaned into one another’s, her breasts heaving against mine. I pulled back and looked deeply into her eyes.
“There is not another woman in the world out there for me,” I whispered. “You are it, your passion, your stubbornness, and all. I want it all, the good, the bad, and the beautiful.”
“That sounds like a movie.”
“I feel like I’m in a movie when I’m with you,” I said, leaning in and kissing her lips again.
She sighed, pulling her hands across my stomach and kissing me even deeper. The warmth of her fingertips made my skin tingle, and I wanted to make love to her right then and right there. I groaned as I pulled my sore arms around her waist and pulled her into my lap. She straddled me and kissed me deeper, pushing down against the hard cock trapped in my boxers. She started to grind her hips, showing me she wanted the same, sending heat flooding through my entire body. She leaned back and pulled her tank top over her head, letting her firm breasts spill out and bounce up and down. I growled, looking down at her perfect body, wanting more, wanting always, wanting right then and there.
Chapter 56
Sara
I pushed my body down against his throbbing cock, feeling it rubbing hard against my wet pussy. I groaned, rubbing my tongue through his mouth, my hands cupping his cheeks. His words set me on fire, my arousal bursting from every seam. He wanted me and everything that came with that, something I never thought I would ever find in a man. He reached around and grabbed my ass, moving me slowly against him. He groaned in pain, and I pulled back, reaching down and unlatching his hands.
“You lie here,” I whispered. “You need to be taken care of.”
I smiled and scooted down his legs, pulling myself in between them. Slowly and carefully, I pulled his boxers from his body and tossed them to the side, watching his dick spring forward. I reached down and grabbed onto his shaft, sliding my hand slowly up and down him. He growled, keeping his eyes glued on me, watching every move I made. I leaned forward slowly, wrapped my tits around his cock, and moved up and down, feeling the tip hit me in the chin as I went. He thrust his hips up and down softly against my skin, groaning with pleasure. I moved back and smiled, leaning forward and taking him into my mouth. I smooth my lips over the tip and moved my mouth all the way to the base, taking in every inch of his big, throbbing cock.
He breathed heavily, rubbing his hand through my hair as I bobbed up and down, sliding my tongue around his shaft and moaning in arousal. After a few moments, he picked up my head and looked me in the eyes, his darkened with passion.
“Come here,” he whispered.
I pulled my shorts off and climbed back up him, straddling him again. He kissed my mouth as I rubbed my pussy over his cock, teasing him for just a minute before reaching down and pulling him into me. I gasped, throwing my head back, feeling the pleasure of his big shaft sliding deep inside of me. Before I could think, my body had taken over bouncing up and down on his cock, my grip holding tightly to his shoulders. He growled loudly, putting his hands around my waist and helping with the movements. With every downward spiral, he pushed me hard to the base, forcing me to scream out in ecstasy. I could feel the want in him, but this time, it was different. This time, he kept his eyes trained on me, locking in the intensity.
My Last First Kiss Page 56
