by Raquel Paiva
“What's going on now?”
Luvinus went straight to the point.
“I need you to tell me if there is any way that I can be seen by a human without frightening them.”
Shorath remained speechless, watching him closely. For a brief moment the omega werewolf believed Shorath was reflecting on the issue and would entrust him with a way to get close to humans, but the alpha burst out in mocking grunts.
“Of course there is. But only if you approach madmen or drunkards.”
And he carried on laughing the lupine laughter of disdainful grunts, which only served to infuriate Luvinus.
“I'm serious, Shorath. Can't we go back to being human, even if only for a few moments, so that they can see us without getting a fright?”
But deep down, Luvinus knew what Shorath would answer. Deep in his soul, the young wolf did not really believe that the answer was the one he longed to hear.
“You're crazy, Luvinus. Crazy and naive. You're a werewolf, you best accept that once and for all. You are clinging to your human side too desperately, when you should be perfecting your new wolf qualities. I'm really getting tired of repeating this.”
Luvinus did not answer. He thought of his sister and how her gaze and pleas would never let him abandon the humanity of his being.
“Normal wolves are not like us.” he objected. “I've watched them. Cubs play, mothers take care of them...”
“But we are neither normal humans nor normal wolves.”
“So what are we? Just piles of fur thirsting for blood?”
“You are a werewolf and you have to obey your nature, which you have been oppressing for too long.”
“I do not believe that our aim is only to kill without mercy.”
This time Shorath looked at him pitifully, but Luvinus quickly found out that it was false pity hiding the profound contempt his alpha felt for human emotions and feelings. Shorath looked at him disdainfully. He believed sentiments like those didn't fit in with the true essence of the werewolf. It was even pathetic to see such a powerful creature speak in such a pleading tone and sad eyes.
“What could you possibly want to do with the humans, anyway?” he asked his omega. “Look at all these animals in the forest. Rabbits for instance. They want for nothing more than their nature demands from them. Why would you want to be different?”
“Please, Shorath, don’t use such a vague argument. You are fully aware that our nature is far more complex than that.” Luvinus replied, forgetful of his omega status for a moment. “I would accept it if we were normal wolves. But you must not forget that, whether you like it or not, we remain human. We speak, we feel... Above all, we reason!”
Luvinus fell silent and looked at his alpha in the eyes expectantly. His argument was too strong even for Shorath to refute it. Yes, they were wolf-shaped. They hunted and killed like wolves. But inside, Luvinus felt it, they kept a lot of their humanity. Why? If there was nothing else, why weren't they just normal four-legged wolves? What strange mixture was that which did not allow him to return to the human world, but that would also prevent him from being the relentless killer that Shorath wanted him to be? He felt like a human being, he hadn't even lost the ability to speak. And if he could think and argue, he could in no way accept that all that was left for him to be was just a merciless murderer. Shorath had to give him the answer. In fact, he should have forced him to speak a long time ago.
“I have no answer for that.” the alpha replied at last.
“You lie. Something made you turn me into this. What? What were your intentions?”
Shorath sighed.
“I have told you I admired your bravery and I thought I should give you a better fate than death...”
It was Luvinus' turn to show a mocking growl.
“A better fate than death? This hybrid monster you've turned me into?”
“You believe what you want. That was just the truth. I'm done with your silly philosophies.”
That said, the alpha walked away with a grunt of displeasure, leaving Luvinus alone again with his thoughts. The young wolf could even agree that Shorath's only reason was to find one more member for the pack, he was crude enough to let that be his sole will. However, the issue could not end there. Someone had made Shorath what he was. And that someone had also been transformed by someone. Someone or something had to be behind this curse? He reflected and concluded that Shorath could only be avoiding the issue on purpose. He too was probably haunted by with those troubling questions and unable to reach any conclusion. The best thing to do to avoid doubt and pain was give himself over to that predatory life. It was easier to be a fierce predator than try to discover the origin of his own existence. Luvinus, however, was not afraid of the discomfort the situation was causing. It disturbed him not to know who he was, but he doubted he could find peace of mind in the killing of innocents. He decided that very moment that he would try to talk to Beatriz. Maybe she would feel her brother Ludovico inside that wolf body? It was a very dangerous idea, but it was also true he had little left to lose.
V
The death of Ludovico's mother and his mysterious disappearance were too heavy a burden for the already fragile Beatriz to bear. The hunted animals had given her comfort and joy at first because they made her believe that Ludovico was helping her. However, everything now started to seem like a great farce. If it was her brother, why didn't he reveal himself? And if it were someone else, why did that individual also insist on remaining unseen? Beatriz began to suspect that it was someone who, behind all that apparent generosity, would suddenly come out to demand money or something else she could not give. However, as much as she racked her brain, she could not understand what could possibly be requested from her. Beatriz lived in a hut that was little more than a hovel, devoid of any material wealth. As days went by, her doubts grew bigger and thicker in her spirit. She tried to stay awake for longer at night, in silence, to try to surprise the person if he or she came. But eventually fatigue would take over her already fragile body. She then started doing something she hadn't done before because she was so overwhelmed with the happiness of believing that it was her brother who was helping her. She started to examine the bodies of the animals left in the kitchen. Soon she realized that they had not been killed by arrows, those wounds were not the wounds of an arrow shot from a distance. She recognized them very well, from the times when her father could still hunt and later from the animals her brother hunted and brought home. The wounds in the throats of the dead animals were strange, as if they had been killed by another animal. Who or what was leaving them in the kitchen? Fear suddenly struck her and she started checking the door hooks every night now to make sure they were tight enough and the door was properly secured. She placed some of the logs against the door to make it even harder for someone to walk into the hut. Luvinus was very surprised when he noticed the tight hooks. He wouldn’t dare try to force the door open though so he started leaving the dead animals outside. But Beatriz started rejecting them too. She buried them. Ludovico did not notice it immediately, only after a few days, when the rotting smell of so many buried animals reached his nostrils. He wondered what all this could mean. Why would Beatriz now keep the door so tight and reject the rabbits and hares he brought her? But he was too smart to remain ignorant for long. Beatriz was revolted and enraged, that was the energy he could now feel emanating from her. It was more than obvious that his sister could not understand why he wouldn’t reveal himself. If he was alive, why didn't he show up? When he saw her leave again late at night towards the village below, Luvinus felt it was time to make a decision.
When Beatriz returned she was desolate. The men had been too rough with her. Her hair was dishevelled and she even had bruises on her skin, Luvinus felt an almost uncontrollable urge to approach and comfort her. The smell of men still clinging to her body made him growl in disgust under his breath.
His sister sat on an old chair, closed her eyes and remained immersed in her thoughts for a
long time. So many and so strong were her emotions and thoughts that it was hard for him to perceive only one. Beatriz thought about what her life had become after Ludovico's disappearance. She had always been poor, but now there was really nothing left for her. Her brother, if still alive, wouldn’t come back. Her mother was dead. Her father was on his deathbed too. What would she do in the meantime? What hope did she have? Her life had lost all its meaning. When Ludovico was with them, she could bear the burden of taking care of her elderly parents. She had the help and support of her brother who not only fed them, but often gave her words of comfort and courage. Without him, she was completely devastated, lacking the strength or reason to carry on living. She couldn’t even say that she was still alive. She was there, her body was still breathing, yes, but her soul had died the day Ludovico had disappeared. Her body was as hollow as an empty shell. She had felt a fleeting surge of hope when she had found all the food inside but now nothing was making any sense nor giving her a purpose. Beatriz couldn't understand why her brother didn't reveal himself, if he was alive after all. Why was he helping her in secret? What could have happened to him that was so terrible that he didn't even dare show himself? If it was indeed her brother she would have no reason to fear him…or would she?
Luvinus watched his sister for a long time, the courage to talk to her suddenly failing him. He saw Beatriz give in to exhaustion and plunge into a deep sleep, her head dropping to her chest. With a heavy heart he returned to the forest as the sun began to dispel the night's veil.
Lúcia Bastos, as well as the women and the very few men still left, had decided not to leave Sintra. The situation was alarming, nobody dared walk out of the boundaries of the village, even during the day, which meant they were completely isolated. The few who thought of leaving found no support from the other villagers. There was little food left and who knew what marauders were lurking in the woods, ready to attack them. Of course, who could also tell the creature would not chase them? She watched groups of people walk outside, never in less than five. Even she would not go out without Adélia. The moment the sun started setting, everybody would rush home, lock all doors and windows and pray they survived the night. Most villagers had decided to take refuge in the church where they felt more protected.
However, a few days later an unexpected event changed the devastating situation. When Lúcia and Adélia were preparing to go to the church earlier in the morning to meet with the other villagers and discuss how they would protect themselves, they heard the sudden neighing of a horse in the distance. They stretched their necks and turned their heads towards the entrance of the village and saw a young man approaching on a brown horse. He might have fine looks, if it weren't for his unshaved face and dishevelled hair. He was of dark complexion and wore what looked like a military uniform. A leather bag hung from his shoulder. Lúcia stared at him, wondering what his intentions could be. The horse rider, however, approached the group of women standing at the churchyard without hesitation.
“I am here to deliver a message to Governor Bastos.” he announced in a strong but hoarse voice, alluding to an illness. “Where can I find him?”
Neither Adélia nor Lúcia responded. The governor's daughter felt her heart tighten when she heard the name of her father whose death she wasn’t even able to confirm. The man repeated the question. Lúcia finally answered:
“Unfortunately, Governor Bastos has disappeared just like the other men. The only men left in the village are Father Antero and some elderly.”
It was the messenger's turn to remain silent. He wasn't sure if it was to a priest who he really wanted to speak to. Before he could ask any more questions, his body was overcome by a coughing fit that made him bend forward. Lúcia approached him almost instinctively.
“It is best to come have some rest, you are tired and sick. Come home with us, please, gentleman.”
Adélia, who under normal circumstances, would admonish her young mistress for offering to take an absolute stranger home, this time agreed with her. The arrival of a man, who was also young and apparently from the army, gave them some comfort and hope.
“Thank you, my lady.” The messenger said. “I have travelled for three days without rest.”
He followed them home leaving the church and the other villagers behind. Adélia immediately went to the kitchen to prepare a hot broth, bread, meat and fruit for the man. Pedro asked for some fresh water for his horse. Lúcia showed him to a trough nearby where the farmers usually kept their horses and donkeys. There wasn’t much hay left but there was still plenty of water for the animal to drink. She also told him where he could change his clothes and wash his face and showed him the guest room where he could stay for as long as he needed to recover. The man thanked her for the hospitality and coughed again. Lúcia went to the kitchen to meet Adélia and helped her get the dining room table ready for the meal.
“He's sick, Adélia. What can we possibly do? Dr Álvares is also gone.”
“It is best that he stays here with us until he recovers. He must keep warm too. If he travelled alone he must be terribly exhausted. It is a miracle that he is alive with such a diabolical creature on the loose.”
Lúcia sat at the table in thought. Shortly after, the stranger showed up by the door. Washed, shaved and dressed, he looked very different from the man they had seen arriving on his horse. He looked younger now, not much older than Lúcia. Gently, he asked for permission to sit at the table.
“What message do you have for my father?” Lúcia asked him, after granting him permission to sit.
He looked at her in surprise.
“Oh, are you the daughter of Governor Bastos? Is it at his home that I happen to be?”
“Yes. He disappeared a few days ago. We have not heard from him nor from the other men since.”
“Well, it seems like that before he disappeared, your father sent a request for help to Lisbon.”
Both Lúcia and Adélia stared at him, curiosity and surprise dancing in their eyes.
“He said that something was attacking the village, something that no one had ever seen, but that was depleting the cattle and spreading horror among the citizens. The governor of Lisbon sent me to check the situation and assess the damage. Meanwhile, he has also sent some men to help. If they left two days after me, as I was told before I left, then they should arrive the day after tomorrow.”
“But how did you make it here all by yourself?” Adélia asked, widening her eyes in disbelief. “Heavens! It is truly a miracle that you arrived alive.”
The man coughed and Adélia placed a bowl of steaming vegetable broth in front of him.
“Eat this, it will do you good.”
“Thank you, my lady.”
“We haven't introduced ourselves yet.” Lúcia said. “My name is Lúcia. This is my maid, Adélia.”
“It is an honour to meet such kind and hospitable ladies. My name is Pedro Fernandes.”
After the meal, the messenger followed Adélia's advice and went upstairs to rest in the guest room offered to him. Lúcia accompanied him upstairs, while she told him about the danger that was lurking from the woods around the village. Pedro told her that after recovering from the trip, he would check the damage and speak to people. However, all those women in distress and realizing how deserted the village was were more than enough proof that something very serious was happening in Sintra.
“If I may ask, Mr. Fernandes, how do your men intend to eliminate this danger? My father and the men who disappeared with him were so strong and brave and look what happened. We have no idea what this beast is.”
“Well, these men will be arriving with something that your father’s men did not have. Something I thought of before leaving Lisbon.”
He had just finished the sentence when his body was once again shaken by a strong coughing fit. So strong he bent over and almost dropped on the floor.
“Oh, Lord, you are really sick. You must rest now.” Lúcia cried in agitation, trying to help him to
get up and walk into the room.
“Please do not worry, my lady. This is nothing. I shall be well after some rest.”
“I hope there will be a doctor among those men.”
“Yes, three in fact.”
Lúcia withdrew after Pedro assured her that he would not hesitate to call her or Adélia if he needed further assistance. She closed the door behind her and walked to her bedroom and approached the window. The unexpected arrival of the young man gave her some comfort and hope. Who knew, maybe her father was not dead and these men would find him lost somewhere. She put her hand on her chest trying to keep that hope alive. She would never want to leave Sintra without knowing what had become of her father.
Night started to fall and the first stars blinked in the celestial mantle. The moon was nearly a waxing crescent. She sat on her rocking chair by the window with an open book on her lap, completely unaware that she was being observed by a pair of human eyes that once had belonged to a real human body, but now belonged to a huge, lupine mass. Luvinus had approached Lúcia's house again and had immediately detected the smell of a new inhabitant. He felt some relief, as Lúcia would be more protected from Shorath and the others. However, the sensation did not linger for long. There was nothing the unfortunate man could do against that bloodthirsty pack who as sure as day follows night would attack again, especially now that the men were gone and the women left so vulnerable. Plus Pedro was unwell. A sudden thought struck the werewolf’s mind. Luvinus was the one who perhaps could protect Lúcia from his terrible brothers. The young woman moved away from the window. She did not go back again and Luvinus assumed that she would not return. Unexpectedly, he smelled her closer and closer. The back door opened and Lúcia walked towards the garden. She got so close to where Luvinus was hiding that he was suddenly afraid that she might discover him. He wanted to approach and talk to her, but he knew he would not instil any feeling other than profound terror in the girl. He saw her picking herbs from the earth with the help of a knife. Her fresh, young scent bluntly burst into his nostrils. It was engaging, sweet and intoxicating. Even though it was not Full Moon, Luvinus felt an intense and strong desire to grab her. He stared at Lúcia behind the bushes, watching every movement of the governor's daughter and listening to her calm breathing and pulse. Her chest swayed to the rhythm of her breathing. He looked at her cleavage. It was not deep, but the thought of her skin made him squirm with desire. Were it a Full Moon, Luvinus would not have been able to control himself. It was the maid’s shout from inside the house that called him back from that bizarre trance. Lúcia stood up in fright and cut herself on a finger. The smell of fresh blood mixed with her own natural and innocently seductive scent. Luvinus, who had calmed down for only a few seconds, felt dizzy. His head spun with the intoxicating, young smell. He tightened his paws around the branches of the nearest tree, calling out to all his rationality to control the beast within him. He didn’t realize he was breaking the branches, forgetful of his own strength. In a last moment of self-control he forced himself away. He was scared of those instincts. It was the first time in his werewolf life that he had truly felt the desire to attack someone. A strong, uncontrollable desire. And it was not just to attack, but to kill too. It was... disturbing, but strangely delicious. Fortunately, in that last second, Luvinus managed to make reason prevail and fled. In doing so, however, he rustled the bushes and leaves around him. Lúcia noticed and dropped the knife, a shiver ran down her spine and chilled her whole body. But it was too dark to see anything. She was unable to utter a word, expecting something to attack her at any moment. But only silence followed. Who could have been there? Would it return? Was it the creature that was ravaging the village? If so, why hadn't it attacked her? Had something stopped it? She was so lost in this sea of doubts that she only returned to herself when Adélia came to the back door, in visible concern:
