by Amber Heart
“Pop!” Ava interjected, distracting Silas. Apparently, quite proud of the latest trick she had learned, Ava triumphantly held the shoe she’d just unlaced and removed from her foot in her left hand.
Kalyn diverted her attention over toward the couch. “You guys don’t have too much fun, now,” she said, walking over to Ava. “Love you, Love bug,” she chirped before giving Ava a hug. Kalyn reluctantly looked back over at Silas. “She should be ready for bed in about an hour or so,” she mentioned while Ava was hard at work unlacing the other shoe
“OK!” Silas sighed, walking over to open the door and then motioning Kalyn towards it. “Listen,” he said in a whisper, as she crossed into the hallway, “don’t spring something like this on me again – especially not in front of Ava!”
Kalyn sighed and left without acknowledging Silas’ final words to her.
Feeling a mix of confusion and resentment, Silas didn’t really know what to make of her behavior. He wasn’t sure if she had actually found herself in a jam at the eleventh hour – with little recourse – or if she’d just played him like a fiddle. Either way, they would definitely have a conversation about it later – he knew he needed to nip whatever this was in the bud and fast!
Silas stood at the door for a minute, just trying to get his mind in the right space before he dealt with his daughter. After counting backward from 10 to 1, he walked back over to the couch and took a seat next to Ava who was playing with his remote control.
“Who’s ready for bath time?” Silas asked a distracted Ava.
Somewhat oblivious, Ava smiled and crawled into her dad’s lap, handing him the remote control once she was snuggly in place.
“Let’s watch TV another time,” he gently coaxed. “For now, let’s get you your bath, OK?” Silas insisted, standing to his feet and switching Ava from his lap to his hip. “We’ll give the rubber ducky a bath, too,” he said, as they walked toward the bathroom together.
After a bubble-filled bath time, with tons of splashing and laughter, Ava’s eyelids began to get heavy and droop. As she valiantly fought sleep, Silas dried her off, slipped on her pajamas, and tucked her into his bed, surrounded by pillows. Once he had sung her a lullaby and turned out the lights, he sat down at his kitchen table, lifted the screen on his laptop and tried to get some work in.
Exhausted, and much more interested in taking a nap than starting a homework set, Silas bit the bullet and powered through. He began by working on a quick but intense Javascript Programming assignment where he created a small function, injected it into a codebase, and ran it to ensure that he got the right output. Thinking that he should do a little more work on the Humanities paper next, he opened up the GoogleDoc Chance created and made a few edits. Before long, Silas realized that he was much too spent to try and keep the momentum going.
“I’ll just have to get back to it in the morning,” he yawned as he lowered his laptop screen and walked back to his room. As soon as he closed his eyes, Silas found himself in the land of Zzz’s. When he opened them again, it was the next day and the sun was shining brightly through his window. He looked over at Ava and was shocked to see that she was still asleep.
He sprang up and headed to get breakfast started but doubled-back quickly when he heard a distinctive whimper. “I know, baby!” he said, going back into his room and picking up a groggy Ava, “I didn’t want to get up either.” After carting her off to the kitchen and placing Ava in her high chair with her favorite toy, Silas went about making her a bowl of cream of wheat.
While she ate, he resumed working on another one of his sections to the Humanities paper, proud to see that his parts were shaping up nicely. Though the near-final versions of his sections were a little behind schedule, as he was still in heavy edit mode, Silas considered what he had completed so far to be some of his best work. Although he wasn’t sure how she would react to him falling slightly behind schedule, he fervently hoped that Chance would understand.
“Who wants to go to the park?” he sang to a giggling Ava as he finished up his work and prepared to take a break. Hoping to have some fun – and tire her out so that she would sleep through the night again – Silas got Ava dressed and headed out to a nearby playground. As she ran around excitedly, trying her best to keep up with a few of the older kids, Silas got an e-mail from Chance.
“The paper’s looking good!” she wrote, shocking Silas in the process. From his perspective, Chance wasn’t the kind to render empty compliments and he was relieved that she appreciated what he had done so far. “Are we still on for Sunday afternoon?” the message continued in her attempt to confirm that the appointment they had originally set was still a go.
Reluctantly, Silas confirmed, slightly unsure whether Kalyn would return to collect Ava in time. “Sure!” he replied, “Let’s meet at the library on campus.”
After prying his baby girl from the jungle gym and treating her to McDonald’s for lunch, Silas could sense that Ava was well overdue for her nap. The next few hours of naps, dinner, sleep, and Silas’ intermittent schoolwork, were somewhat of a blur after they returned home. But, all things considered, Silas was quite pleased that he was able to make it through in one piece. So far, as he had suspected, being a dad and a student was far from easy. Yet, as he continued to take everything one step at a time, he grew confident in his ability to find the right balance.
The next morning, after he got Ava up, fed, bathed, and dressed, Silas packed her bags so that she would be ready by the time her mother stopped by the apartment. As Ava sat and watched cartoons, Silas got a call from Kalyn.
“Hey, are you close?” he asked, peeking at his watch and realizing that the late morning was slowly turning into an early afternoon.
“No, I got stuck in Maryland. I actually – I won’t actually be back until this evening.”
“Kalyn, you’re kidding me!” Silas bellowed, his blood boiling as he reached the end of his patience. “I was really counting on you to be back earlier than later in the day!”
“Listen, I’m sorry!” she barked, somewhat defiantly. “I don’t know what you think but this wasn’t planned,” she continued.
“…and neither was this weekend,” he said, “You know this was my first weekend back in school. I really needed this time to study – ”
“Look, I will be there as soon as I can,” Kalyn interrupted, clearly not in the mood to fight.
“I’ve got a study group at 3:00 PM, I’ll bring Ava by your place after that. Around 5:00 PM,” he concluded. Trying to tamp down his anger.
“OK, I should be back by th– ” Kalyn said before Silas hung up, seething with anger. He had hoped that Kalyn would be an ally in his journey to providing a better future for their daughter but – so far – that seemed to be a dream deferred.
Still upset and not even trying to conceal it this time, Silas got Ava all packed up, into his car, and over to library. When he got there, although he was about thirty minutes early, Chance was already in place.
“You are always early,” he mused, carting Ava on his hip, as they approached the table where Chance was sitting. “It doesn’t even matter how early I am, you always beat me!”
As she watched Silas approach with a blond-haired, blue-eyed little girl, Chance’s eyes grew wide and a soft smile appeared across her lips. “Who’s the munchkin?” she asked, with her head tilted.
“This,” Silas said, putting her on the floor, “is my daughter, Ava.”
“Ah! I didn’t know you were a dad!” she said, still smiling at the toddler.
“Well, yeah – this is actually the prior obligation I was talking about later,” he admitted sheepishly.
As if they were kindred spirits, reunited, Ava ran over to Chance and immediately got in her lap. Silas watched on in disbelief. Ava was social but very picky when it came to people she hadn’t ever met before. The way she gravitated toward Chance and, in turn, how Chance welcomed her with open arms made him feel silly about his reluctance to bring Ava along.
“Can sh
e have some candy?” Chance chirped. Before Silas could answer, she had reached into her pocket and offered Ava an array of LifeSavers to choose from. “Now, are you going to be good while your dad and I work?” she asked Ava, nodding her head “yes” to steer the wide-eyed 1-year-old in the right direction. Returning the nod with a mischievous smirk, Ava grabbed a red piece of candy and struggled to break through its unyielding cellophane wrapper.
“Good!” Chance said, content that Ava would keep her promise. Ready to get to work she lifted Ava from her lap and placed her firmly in the adjacent chair. “Dad and I are going to need quiet, OK?” she explained. “Play with this pen and paper,” she insisted reaching into her bag and then placing the tools in front of Ava. As the toddler delighted in making a series of random lines, curves, and markings, she seemed much too engrossed in the task in front of her to be concerned with anything else.
“So,” Chance said, switching her attention back over to Silas and barely missing a beat. “I like how everything looks so far. I think we’re on the right track for a good submission,” she said, her eyes dancing. “Have you had a chance to read through it yet – from beginning to end?”
Silas couldn’t tell if time had chipped away Chance’s shell or if Ava had somehow melted it altogether, but he could sense a more mellow, warmer vibe radiating from the other side of the table. One that, quite notably, was missing during their very first conversation.
“No, not yet,” he admitted, “her mom was supposed to pick her up earlier today but – well – as you can see – that didn’t go as planned.”
“Ah!” Chance said. “Well, I’ve read it all the way through and I think we’re really close to the final draft - what we have is actually quite good.”
“That’s good to hear,” Silas said, registering her compliment with pride.
“Yeah – actually,” she began, looking over at Ava, “I think I can carry us over the goal line. It looks like you’ve got your hands full!”
“You sure?” Silas asked, feeling like a little bit of a slacker. “I can – “
“Yeah, I’m sure,” she continued, “All I’ve really got to do is buff the rough edges. The important parts are all there; at this point, it’s just a matter of connecting everything and making it coherent. Trust me – I got this!”
Silas smiled and thanked Chance for everything, truly grateful to have a solid partner.
“Bye cutie,” Chance said to Ava as Silas lowered her from the chair and grabbed her by the hand. Ava waved in return. “Hope to see you again real soon,” Chance remarked to Silas’ surprise.
“Soon,” Ava echoed with the vigor of learning a brand new word.
Chapter 5
“Students, I’ve got your assignments graded and ready to return!” Dr. Byrne announced as he marched into class – a little late as always – with an arm full of papers. “You’ll have to excuse me, I’m from the old school!” he said, sounding uncharacteristically embarrassed as he unloaded the marked packets onto his desk. “You’ll notice – over the course of the semester – that even when you submit your work online, I’ll always print it out and return a hard copy back to you!”
Silas looked at the stack of papers on the desk and wondered where his and Chance’s sat in the pile. Knowing that his fate was sitting right in front of him – and being fully aware of Dr. Byrne’s penchant for suspense – he felt so close but so far all at once.
“Nothing beats taking a red ink pen to paper,” Dr. Byrne continued on with a light chuckle, looking around the room, and realizing that he was the only person entertained by his musings.
“Okay, now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s get to the matter at hand. When you hear your name, send one partner down to pick up your paper. “
Silas looked back to where Chance was sitting and gave her a thumbs up. Although the point of his gesture was to elect himself as the retrieving partner, he realized that it was somewhat ambiguous. She nodded her head in response, hopefully, Silas thought, in agreement with his suggestion.
“Now, in no certain order…” Dr. Byrne continued, right before skimming a couple of papers from the top of the stack and placing them in the crook of his arm, “…Sanders and Cho…”
As he watched the Professor call a series of names and then grab the next handful of submissions, Silas – once again – felt his anxiety begin to grow. In his mind, it was almost like he had been transported back to the week before when Dr. Byrne initially passed out the numbers, before he knew that his number would be seven, and before he knew who would complete his two-person team. This time, however, he had a partner to help him diffuse his nervous energy. Impatiently waiting to see what their grade would be, Silas looked towards the back of the room again and raised his eyebrows at Chance as soon as he got her attention. She responded with a shrug.
As the stack continued to dwindle, Silas ultimately became transfixed on the one paper left on the desk at the very end. Unless there was a mix-up and it hadn’t been turned in, that last paper had to belong to him and Chance. But, why was it last? Was it that good or that bad? The mystery of it all began to weigh heavily on Silas as he found himself waiting with bated breath.
“Ah, yes!” Dr. Byrne said, energetically, looking at the last paper on the desk. “When I announced, at the beginning of class, that I was returning the submissions in no certain order….well, that was only slightly true. I saved this one for last on purpose.”
Silas gulped.
“So, let me say this: there were quite a few really good submissions,” he started, as he walked from behind his desk to the front and had a seat on its edge. “But, there was one that stood out among the rest,” he continued before crossing his legs at the ankle. “The submission by Mr. Reams and Ms. Parker. This one stood out. Very well done!”
Silas peeked back at Chance, excited about their accomplishment. To his surprise, she was actually shrinking in her seat.
Dr. Byrne continued. “Their submission about Picasso’s The Tragedy was succinct, packed with good information, and…just a pleasure to read.” Dr. Byrne reached over to pick up the submission, walked over to Silas’ row, and handed the nearly flawless paper to him. “Mr. Ream, Ms. Parker – I’ve posted your paper online for everyone to see. Class, I want each of you to review it, as soon as possible, to see what I’m looking for and adjust accordingly for the next assignment.”
Silas glimpsed at the paper and beamed.
“This was the only paper in the bunch that earned all 100 points,” Dr. Byrne said, walking back to the front of the class. “Again, well done! OK,” the Professor announced, ready to get the lesson started, “now….let’s get on with today’s discussion.”
While Dr. Byrne continued with the rest of the class, Silas was stuck in suspended animation. This Humanities assignment was one of the very first he’d had since returning to college and, by far, the most challenging to date. It was a team assignment and, at one point, he had to juggle caring for Ava in the midst of trying to get it done. In a very distinct way, very early on, he had actually had to confront some of the things that scared him the most all at once. The thing that blew his mind was that, despite all of the possibilities for setbacks and pitfalls, he was triumphant. In fact, his work was recognized as exemplary in front of his peers. Silas couldn’t help but hope this was a good indicator of what was to come.
As class went on, Silas eventually came back down to earth. Though it took a while, at some point, he floated down from the clouds, began to listen to the lecture again, and tried to take good notes. He convinced himself to get back in the game by remembering his time as a Center on the Junior Varsity Wildcat’s Basketball team. In those games, after scoring, he couldn’t just stand still and cheer after a basket went in. On the contrary, if he wanted to help his team win the game, he had to constantly keep moving, stay nimble, and play offense as well as defense. For whatever reason, that did the trick and, in no time, he was back to being fully engaged. But, it appeared, that he tu
ned back in just a little too late. Just as he had gotten back in the groove, class was over.
“Alright, that’s all I have for today. Unless there are any questions, class is dismissed!” Dr. Byrne announced after, what he thought, was a successful class session.
Before he could even finish his statement, everyone in the class started packing their bags and getting ready to leave. As quickly as he could, Silas made his way over to Chance. The path between them was filled with everything with congratulatory nods to outright sneers from his classmates. Either way, it didn’t faze Silas. The only approval he needed was from Dr. Byrne and Chance; based on the responses he’d received, he had been quite successful at garnering both.
“Wow, you must have really done a great job with the draft,” Silas grinned.
“I didn’t have to do much, really,” Chance said, briefly halting her packing process. “I’ll have to say, though. I think you were one of the best partners I’ve had in a long, long time.”
“Yeah?” Silas asked, his eyebrows furrowed. “Thanks!” he followed, his sense of accomplishment heightened that much more. He had set out to make a good impression and was just a little shocked that he was actually able to pull it off. Chance was a tough cookie!
“You’re welcome,” she said, “but facts are facts.”
“Hey,” Silas said, his ego bolstered by everything else that went right that day, “you want to go and grab some coffee or something?” He knew that he was stepping out on somewhat of a limb but he was interested to see how far he could take his good vibes.
“Sure,” Chance said, apparently without a second thought. “Let’s go!”
Silas’ eyes got big but only for a few seconds. He quickly gathered himself together and said, “Hey, let me carry that for you?” Feeling particularly chivalrous, Silas reached out and playfully beckoned for her bag.
Chance blushed as she clutched it closely. “No, thanks! I got it,” she said, inconspicuously impressed that he even offered.
