by Janie Marie
“Well, he’s right.” He sat up straight.
“You wouldn’t be this way without Janie,” she told him. “I mean, I’m not saying it’s her fault, but you always wanting to be in her life—her falling for Ryder and getting pregnant with him. You never would’ve turned into the guy who had sex to get over her. So no gambling, no prostitution ring, no Luc holding you over her head or her over your head. No Ryder.”
His eyes were filled with pain. Agony.
Kylie’s stomach knotted. Why was this the wrong thing to say? It was the truth. Ryder was right, the truth hurt, but he needed to hear it. She cupped his cheeks. “I’m sorry. I’m just tired. I can’t wait for this to be over so we can live our lives together. I just want us.”
“I want us, too.” He held her hands in place but turned his face to kiss her palm. “Be patient. I’ll do what I can to get out of the shit I’m in. My dad will help. I’m not asking Janie again. We just have to pretend we’re together long enough for Luc to not focus on you. If he got you, I’d be at his mercy. And she’d do anything to keep you safe for me.”
She doubted that.
“If you want, I’ll come up with an excuse to move or something,” he said, watching her. “I’ll get out like my mom wanted. I’ll just be Logan Grimm, Kylie’s boyfriend.”
“That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day.”
“Yeah?” He grinned, pulling her down. “Now let me kiss you. I’ve missed you so much.”
Magic. He was magic.
She sighed into his mouth as he took control. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Hood.” He smiled, tugging her closer. “Hey, I just realized something.”
“What?” She smiled as he pulled her lip between his teeth.
“Your birthday’s tomorrow.” He kissed her but frowned when a knock sounded. “Shit. I think that’s Nick.”
She watched him walk to the door but blurted out a question that had been on her lips for most of their conversation.
“Logan,” she said and watched him turn around before he could reach for the door.
“Yeah?”
“Why did Janie say remember who you are?”
He gave her a tight smile. “She was reminding me I’m not the Big Bad Wolf.”
The mumbled conversations of students heading home for the day was much quieter in the hall that led to the gym.
“Trevor?”
He turned around, frowning. “What is it, Maura?”
Her usual flirty smile struggled to lift into place as she reached up to touch his forearm. “I wanted to talk to you.”
“We have nothing else to talk about.” He watched her sweet smile vanish.
“But I thought,” she said. “You said if I—”
“You thought wrong. We’re done, Maura.” He pried her hand off his arm as her lip trembled, and he smirked before adding, “Say hi to your mom for me.”
He started to walk away, but she yelled out, stopping him in his tracks.
“I’ll tell Kylie the truth.”
Trevor turned around. “Why would anyone believe you?”
“What’s so great about her?” Maura’s eyes watered. “You told me you just wanted to get back at your cousin! You made me think if I helped—”
Trevor spoke before she could continue. “You thought what? That I’d want to stick my dick in you again?” He chuckled and shook his head. “You already gave me what I wanted. Your mom gives better head than you anyway.”
Maura’s face crumpled, but before her sob could break free of her trembling lips, a voice spoke from behind him.
“Go to the car, Maura.”
Both Trevor and Maura whipped their heads around as Kevin Blackwood walked around the corner.
His unreadable gaze stayed on Trevor as he held his keys up for Maura. Her tears fell freely as she reached out with a shaky hand to take them.
Kevin lowered his hand after Maura took a slow step away, clenching it into a fist at his side. “Go.”
Fourteen
Man-Boy
“What do you think?”
Kylie stared at her reflection and smiled.
“She looks lovely, Anna,” Kevin said, coming into view in the mirror.
The stylist beamed at his compliment before looking back at Kylie for her reaction.
“I love it.” Kylie smiled wider as she turned her head back and forth.
Anna clapped her hands together before handing her a small mirror. “Let me show you the back.” She turned the chair away.
Kevin smiled softly at her reflection before returning his attention to his phone. He’d been on it most of the time since picking her up from school, so she was bursting with happiness to have him paying attention now.
“I kept most of the length like you asked.” Anna’s excited voice pulled her attention back to the mirror.
Kyle lifted her hand so she could see Anna’s fingers running through her freshly cut hair.
“Yes, it’s perfect.” Kylie reached up to touch a few strands and smiled. It was so soft—so neat. She could hardly remember the last time she’d had it cut.
Anna began dusting away some of the remaining locks of hair before undoing the smock. “I’m glad you like it. It just needed some love. But you still look like you. I’m sure the boys are going to fight over you even more than they already are.”
She laughed off the compliment because she didn’t care about boys fighting over her. She just wanted the one she had.
“Kylie, we should get going.” Kevin gestured for her to follow him to the front desk. He gave the receptionist a charming smile as he signed his receipt.
Kylie’s eyes widened when she stood next to him with her bag of products and realized he was leaving a one-thousand dollar tip for the stylist. She swore the girl’s eyes crossed before she looked back at him.
“Thank you again, Anna. And for squeezing her in,” he said, shaking her hand.
Kylie noticed the way he tried to hide it from her, but she stayed silent as final goodbyes were said.
“Let’s go,” he said, sticking his hand in his pocket before walking ahead of her.
She hurried to him. “Kevin?”
“Hm?” He didn’t look at her as he looked at the surrounding shops.
“What happened to your hand?”
“Oh, I was carrying a box in my office this morning and didn’t pay attention to a doorframe. Just banged it.” He smiled and pointed to a clothing store she wasn’t familiar with. “I think this is one of Maura’s favorite shops. What do you think? Early birthday presents? Eighteen is a big deal. You can pick anything you like.”
She smiled and looked at the store. It was a high-end clothing store. She didn’t know what to buy as far as clothes went and looked down at her red hoodie, frowning. She loved her hoodie, but she did used to love when her dad would buy her whatever she wanted. That’s what she wanted in a dad, and now Kevin was stepping up.
“Or we can go somewhere else,” Kevin said when she didn’t jump up with excitement. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you like, sweetheart. I just want you to have a good birthday.”
“It’s okay.” She eyed the clothes in the store window. They were cute, but she hadn’t done this since she was fourteen. “Um, I don’t mind picking out some stuff. But maybe you can help? I just don’t really know how to do this anymore. I don’t want to look stupid.”
He chuckled and looked back at the store with a nervous smile. “I’ll try, Kylie. I’m not good at this either. Maura usually just takes my card, and I make sure she has a limit with the clerks.”
Kylie chuckled, wondering how Maura’s therapy was going. Kevin had told her he’d already dropped her off at her appointment. Hopefully, they were telling her she needed to be put in a padded room for the rest of her life. That would be the best birthday present ever.
“Well, let’s hurry. I promised your mother we’d be home in an hour.”
“Right.” Kylie sighed. There always had t
o be someone else. “Well, can you let me know if you think what I try on looks okay?”
“I can do that,” he said with a laugh. “This better not be for a boy though. I’ll insist you wear the baggiest dress they have.”
She chuckled and shook her head. “There’s no boy.” He’s a man-boy!
Logan sighed, leaning across his bed for another napkin before returning to the task he’d been undertaking for ten minutes. “How you doing, baby doll?”
She opened her eyes, stretching as she hugged the pillow on his lap. “Just trying to dream.”
He smiled, pushing her hair away from her back and tugging her shirt up again. She was on her stomach, so it was comfortable for him, but he knew she was getting sore. “Happy things, I hope.” He dabbed the napkin in nail polish remover, then lightly rubbed at the permanent marker still staining her pale skin.
She shrugged a shoulder as she reached up to touch his forearm. “I see eyes and a smile. That’s all I get.”
He glanced at her as she studied the Red Riding Hood tattoo on his forearm. “Ryder’s?”
“Sometimes,” she murmured, lowering her hand and closing her eyes again, but this time, she smiled. “Sometimes I see sapphire instead of emerald. Beautiful. He’s beautiful. Home.”
He held her in place as he rubbed a little harder. “I used to pray I’d be the one you dreamed of.”
She lazily reached up, rubbing her hand across his chest. “I do dream about you. A lot. Ryder gets annoyed because I talk in my sleep.”
He chuckled as he rewet the napkin. “I still dream about you. Your smile. The one you used to wear for me—before I turned into an asshole.”
“Does she make you happy, Logan?”
The question startled him. He stared at the words written beside his hand. My Forever. The words he was preparing to wipe away. “Yeah. When she’s not hating you.”
She stayed quiet.
“I told her I’d get out one day. That I’d leave it all behind for her.” He felt like kicking himself for opening his mouth.
She slowly opened her eyes. The gold dimmed, but she smiled. “As long as you’re happy.”
He swallowed as his chest ached in a way it hadn’t in a long time. The thought of walking away from her was unbearable, but he’d have to. “I owe it to her to pick her. She just wants to be loved, and I keep telling her how much I love you. I do, baby doll. Forever. But you picked him.”
Her eyes glistened with tears, but she kept smiling. “Then pick her. If she makes you happy—if you end up loving her”—her lips trembled—“leave me.”
His whole body hurt as he stared down at her. With his free hand, he ran his fingers through her hair. He’d missed touching her. He’d missed just feeling her heart beat near his. He’d missed her face. Her voice. But he was going to let her go. For Kylie.
“It won’t be soon, okay?” His hand started to shake. “I’m moving so fast with her—I know I need to slow down. I feel reckless whenever I’m with her, but I’m trying to be smarter about the shit I do. We have time.”
“Okay,” she whispered, sniffing as a tear slipped free.
“Oh, baby doll.” He wiped it away with his thumb. “I just wanted you to know. She’s been so stressed out. Everything I do, she breaks down because she thinks I’m picking you. Fuck, sometimes I am. I’ve argued with her because I just want her to be decent around you, but she doesn’t even know how to do that. I want to give her a chance though. It’s all she knows.”
“Yeah. I’m sure that’s all it is.” She smiled, but it was the saddest thing he’d seen in a while.
He nodded, his gaze falling to her back. “Maybe if we hadn’t done this, it would be different. But I don’t think I can expect her to tolerate our relationship anymore. She’s not Ryder. She won’t do whatever it takes to see me happy.”
Her body tensed up, but she stayed quiet as he realized how messed up that must seem to her.
He traced the black feathers curving out at her waist. “Tercero did a good job.”
“You like them?”
Logan slid his hand up her spine, moving more of her hair because he needed to wipe her neck. “They’re beautiful, honey. I only wish I could’ve drawn them for you.”
She turned her head to the side so he could reach the lettering there. Logan’s girl. “Maybe you can draw me something before you leave.”
“You want a tattoo to remember me?”
“I won’t need one for that—I’ve memorized us.” She closed her eyes. “You’re my forever.”
Logan stared at Janie as she slept curled up under his blanket. Kylie would flip her shit if she found out Janie was in his bed and staying the night. She’d never forgive him.
He sighed and rubbed his face, only to grimace from the chemical smell clinging to his fingers. His poor baby doll had tried to remove the marker by herself and rubbed her skin raw in one place. Ryder had asked him to remove it after that. He said he wouldn’t be able to look at it any more than he already had, and he didn’t want to hurt her by rubbing too hard.
There was no way Logan could refuse to help her. Not when she’d been all alone at the Knight mansion. Ryder couldn’t even talk to her because there was something going down in the town over, and they all left to take care of it. Luc had called his dad away as well. So here she was, in his bed—in one of Ryder’s shirts with her tiny shorts barely covering her ass.
He could tell she wasn’t feeling good. Her heart beat faster than most peoples, and she got overheated easily. Whenever she got sick or sad, it got worse. She was sweating, and he’d turned the air conditioner cooler, but it never helped. She just kept burning up.
“How am I going to walk away from you again?” he whispered, watching her pull on her hair. She must have had a headache.
Logan lifted his water to his lips, guzzling it down as he thought about never seeing her again. Never touching her or hearing her voice. Never seeing her smile at him the way she only did for him. It physically hurt to imagine it. But that was what Kylie needed. She hadn’t said it in so many words, but she was through with watching them. And by the time all this ended, they’d only stand a chance if he could devote everything to her and nothing to Janie.
He didn’t blame her for being the way she was. He could only imagine having to grow up the way she had. He’d brought this extra pressure on himself. But he couldn’t stop fearing what it would do to Janie. She was telling him to choose Kylie, to leave her. But she was still his baby doll—still fragile as much as she was great. She was still his forever. If he believed in the stories, they were destined to be together forever. The problem was she was destined for more than him, and that meant there had to be someone else for him, too. He believed it was Kylie.
“Fuck.” He sat his water jug on his dresser, frowning when he noticed his picture of her wasn’t where he’d left it. “What the hell?” He walked over, searching through his clothes, through Kylie’s shit. It was gone.
His jaw clenched. “Bastard.”
He ran a hand through his hair as he looked over his shoulder. “Calm down, maybe she took it after that photo went online.” He nodded to himself, reining in his rage as he checked the time. It was ten. He’d need to get up early to get a workout in before taking her to school. He didn’t want her to go, especially without Ryder and the boys there. It was bad enough Kylie was hearing shit, but it was Janie’s face and body on everyone’s phones.
Kylie had made shit ten times worse. It was more convincing, but it sucked to have to watch both girls suffer.
He walked to the hall, scanning the apartment before going to check the lock. It was open, of course, so he locked it with both latches before heading to his room.
His gaze fell on her again. Fuck, she’s still so pretty. He could imagine always seeing this sight when he woke up. Only, he’d have her naked or in his shirt. And that was exactly why he had to walk away. She wasn’t going to abandon him, so it had to be him. She was asking him to walk away beca
use she couldn’t do it. He was never going to stop feeling what he felt for her, and now he knew she still felt something for him, too. It was going to lead to bad things, and he couldn’t put her or Kylie through that.
His gaze settled on the side of her face as he remembered those eyes locking with his when he got a hard-on as she sat on him yesterday. All this time, she’d seriously thought he was immune to her. She still thought she was nothing but an ugly monster to him.
When he had to really work to arrange a pillow between them so he didn’t slide in, he saw her confusion. Then he’d seen her eyes light up in gold flames when he leaned over her to fake him fucking her. Even with the pillow, his dick had hit the right spot. He’d panicked, but she told him to just stay still, and then he saw her shut off. The flames in her eyes died, and she stared up as though he wasn’t even there.
That’s what it took for him to finally go soft, and he nearly cried as she looked into the camera to take a picture for Ryder to see. She knew what to do to get through it. She’d known for longer than anyone realized.
Logan stood there, pushing back the memories so they wouldn’t destroy him. He noticed her backpack and shoes at the foot of his bed. It reminded him of when they were a couple, and he smiled even though he shouldn’t.
He shook his head, shutting his door and locking it, just as he did with their memories. He needed a shower, and he needed to get his mind in the right place. He had a feeling she was going to wake up sick, and he wanted a few hours of sleep and sanity before that.
After getting something to change into, he watched the phone slip from Janie’s hand. She’d asked him to take a picture of her cleaned tattoos to send to Ryder. As much as he hated that bastard, he loved seeing her loved by him.
Logan carefully pulled the phone from her hand so he could charge it, realizing she must’ve fallen asleep waiting for Ryder to text her back because she hadn’t responded to him.
Sweet Death: And I love you.
Sweet Death: Longer than always.
