by Janie Marie
She kept quiet as he stayed there on the floor. He wasn’t crying out or shedding more tears—just shaking, occasionally murmuring to himself to wake up. That was all too familiar for her. How many times did she wish to wake up from the nightmare that was her life?
Kylie remembered discovering Trevor had attacked Janie. Logan had kept a secret about Trevor, and now he was destroying himself with guilt.
What would he do? His mind was no doubt taking the dark path Ryder was set on. Revenge. Murder. God, he’s going to search for Trevor. He might even sneak out without her knowing. She’d die if he was punished for killing Trevor.
You’d only die because of what it would cost you. Him. Not for the damage it would cause him and those he loves. Selfish little Kylie. Always about you.
Kylie wanted to scream. Why was this voice back? It was just as mean as Ryder and Luc. We are truth.
She wiped her face, expecting to find tears, but there were none.
Doesn’t appear you’re even sad.
Kylie swallowed the painful lump in her throat. She was sad Logan was hurting. She was sad because he was unable to overcome his guilt.
A shadow in her mind revealed a hooded girl. Kylie knew the girl was hiding something. Truth. She refused to look.
Logan closed his eyes as he took several deep breaths.
Kylie stood there for a few seconds longer. Whatever stupid secrets and crazy shit was going on with Ryder, she vowed to keep Logan safe from it. She’d save him from himself if she had to. The possibility of him following Ryder was great, even though she knew he wanted nothing to do with them. He’d follow. Because of Janie.
Her heart pounded harder as she opened the door and approached him. He still kneeled on the floor, but she could see him trying to calm himself.
“Logan.” She reached out to hold his sides. He tensed from her sudden touch, but he didn’t move away. “Shh . . .”
“Baby,” he said in a voice she hardly recognized. He looked up, the agony etched across his handsome face almost suffocating her.
“Shh . . .” She kissed his back and hugged him from behind as she turned to press her cheek against him. “It’ll be okay. I’m here with you.”
His hands covered hers, and she turned to place more kisses on his back as he got even tenser. It had to be hard for him to show weakness, and she knew he must feel like the biggest failure tonight—that he’d felt like this for longer than he should ever have to. But he was letting down his guard for her, and that meant so much.
“I’m here,” she whispered again. His cries went on silently, and she could feel his sadness and pain as his body shook. So she closed her eyes and kept murmuring to him that it was okay.
When he took her hand, she lifted her head and tugged him to stand with her. He did, his red-rimmed eyes the saddest thing she’d ever seen as he stared down at her.
Kylie smiled and reached up to wipe away the lonely tear on his cheek. “Let’s get you in the shower.”
When she reached for his shorts, he followed her movement with his eyes but said nothing. She pushed his shorts and briefs down to the floor. Not even when she stood back up and looked him in the eye as she took off her clothes did he utter a word or make a sound.
Kylie pulled him into the shower with her, turning it on. It was cold, but it seemed like he was relieved to have the cold water on his heated skin. He closed his eyes and breathed heavily. Kylie took the initiative to bathe him. He was just standing there, like he didn’t know what to do anymore.
There was so much blood between them. It made her sick to her stomach as it slid down their bodies, Janie’s and Maura’s blood mixing before it went down the dark drain, never to be seen again.
You’d like that, wouldn’t you?
Thankfully, the voice didn’t say more, and every drop of blood was washed away. When the water was clear, she turned it off, keeping quiet as she got towels to dry them.
He didn’t even move until she guided him to the bedroom. It took her a few moments to find something for each of them, and when she returned to his side, she saw his eyes locked on the picture by his bed.
Her heart raced as he stood frozen, just staring at the picture like it was all that mattered to him.
It hurt to remind him Janie would still be there, but she did anyway. “She’s alive, Logan.”
He jerked his gaze to hers but stayed quiet.
“She’s alive,” she repeated, lifting the shirt to put over his head.
After she got it over his head and helped him pull on his underwear, she dressed herself.
His voice finally broke the silence. “We won’t talk about this until your birthday ends. I’ll tell you everything when it’s over.”
She was stunned and terrified. “Everything?”
He nodded, holding out his hand. “Everything.”
“Okay,” she whispered, even though she didn’t think she’d be able to hear whatever he was going to tell her.
Logan tugged the blanket back. “This is my old room.”
“I figured.” She smiled, watching him lie down. “I like it.”
He pulled her body against his, pressing his lips against the back of her neck. “I love you, Hood.” His breath warmed her cooling skin but made goose bumps break out across her body.
Kylie smiled, staring straight ahead until his fingertips touched her cheek as he pushed her hair away. “I love you.” She closed her eyes as his lips pressed against her neck again before he moved his head to rest on his pillow, where he fell asleep within seconds.
Nineteen
Something Is Everything
Lips against hers woke Kylie. She would have screamed, but she knew these lips.
“Morning, baby.”
“Morning,” she whispered, worried about her morning breath. Mint from his lips told her he’d already been up to brush his teeth.
He grinned, and the spark in his dark eyes quieted her worries. They were silenced completely when his lips pressed against hers again.
Logan squeezed her waist as his tongue met hers.
“Logan.” She released a shaky breath as his hand moved under her shirt.
He let out a growl and removed his hand, reaching up to pull one of her hands from his hair. He grinned against her lips, reassuring her he wasn’t the least bit angry before moving back. “I made you breakfast. Birthday girls get breakfast in bed.”
Kylie chuckled as he leaned down and kissed her in a harder, more playful way before he stood up.
“I only get breakfast in bed on my birthday then?” she asked, smiling when he came back with a plate of food. He was really putting her first.
“No.” He smiled at her surprised look as he handed her a plate full of eggs, pancakes, and bacon. “I’ll make you breakfast on Valentine’s, too.”
Grinning, she took the plate from him because Valentine’s Day was a long way from now, and this implied he intended on being with her for a long time. “Why not the other days?” She took a bite of her pancake first, then moaned because it tasted so good.
He placed a glass of juice on the bedside table and leaned down to kiss her hair, where he mumbled, “Because you’ll be making me breakfast.”
She chewed her food, unable to reply as he chuckled and went to pull on a shirt. If her mouth wasn’t full, she would have sighed in disappointment as he covered his gorgeous body.
“Hood, I’d love to be the only present you unwrap today”—he smirked and fixed his shirt—“but we actually have a busy day to get ready for.”
“Shut up,” she muttered, looking away from his cocky smile.
He walked closer and leaned down to kiss her cheek. “You know I love it when you get angry, Hood. Now eat.” He moved back, and his satisfied grin grew when she sighed.
“Did you already eat?” she asked, taking another bite.
“Yeah, I’ve been up for a few hours.” He pulled a pair of socks from one of his drawers, then made his way to the bed, falling onto it with a tired
groan.
“A few hours?” She frowned and looked around his room. When it was dark, she hadn’t been able to take it all in. There were trophies, medals—all showing what she already knew. Logan was great at everything he tried. Just like he’d told her yesterday. She started to ponder Luc’s cryptic conversation with her, then Logan and Ryder’s, but she stopped. Today was her day.
“Yeah, I couldn’t sleep with you snoring.”
Kylie whipped her head around and gasped. “I don’t snore!”
“You do.” He gave her a sweet smile, then lifted her hand to his lips, kissing it before letting go. “You slobber, too.”
“Whatever,” she grumbled and went back to eating.
He chuckled as he stretched beside her, and she looked around his room a little more, frowning when she noticed his wastebasket was filled with picture frames.
“Did someone throw your pictures away?”
He sighed, glancing toward the wastebasket. “They’re mostly of me and Janie. I want you to be comfortable. I meant to take them to the trash before you woke up.”
Kylie placed her plate on the table and leaned down to hug him. “Thank you,” she murmured against his chest as his hand came up to rub her head. “But you don’t need to throw them away.” She pushed back up to see his reaction.
Surprise and happiness lit up his eyes.
“Let me brush my teeth and stuff, and I’ll help you put them back up, okay?” She grinned because he looked so relieved. This was a start. As long as she got him through this, everything would be fine. He just needed closure with Janie. All his talk before just proved Ryder was meant for her, and now it should be perfectly clear to Logan that he wasn’t Janie’s happiness.
“Okay.” He lifted her hand to his lips again. “Thank you, baby.”
“You’re welcome.” She pulled her hand away so she could climb off the bed.
“There’s a toothbrush and some clothes for you on the counter,” he said as she made her way to his attached bathroom.
“Clothes?” She walked in and found a set of jean shorts, a shirt, and her washed panties.
“Yeah.” His voice sounded a little unsure. “They were Janie’s. She used to stay here when her family left on missions. I figured you wouldn’t want to wear your dirty stuff. I thought we could pick something else up when we go out.”
She sighed and brushed her teeth before getting dressed. It seemed she’d have to make more of an effort to show him he could keep Janie. It wasn’t like he was going to see her much now anyway. Or at all. If he knew she wasn’t forbidding him from keeping Janie in his life, that would relieve him and help him get closure on their toxic relationship.
“Thanks for washing my panties for me.” She walked out of the bathroom. The anxious look disappeared from his face as his eyes went to her legs.
He looked back up and held out his hand. “I changed my mind—let’s just stay here today.”
She laughed, ignoring his hand as she made her way to his wastebasket. “You said you weren’t my only present. I want to see what you’ve got planned.” She picked up the basket and walked back to him. No way was she letting him throw away pictures of him with Janie before she could see them.
“But I’m the best present, baby.”
She pulled the first picture out. “I want to see what you looked like when you were younger.”
He rolled his eyes and grabbed the frame from her. “I am young—you’re the one getting older.”
She stuck her tongue out at him, happy he seemed more relaxed.
He turned the first one to let her see. “This is when I was thirteen, I think.” The picture was of him carrying Janie as he ran to jump in a pool. They both had smiles on their faces, even though Janie looked a little terrified. “She stayed with us that whole summer because Arthur and her brothers were in Europe.”
They looked happy, like nothing worried them. Maybe this was before anything happened with Trevor. Kylie slid her fingers over Logan’s ink-free arms. “I’m surprised you could hold her with those skinny arms.”
He snatched the picture from her and growled. Honestly, he wasn’t skinny. He was cut and already bigger than most boys she’d seen at that age.
“Baby, you’re not fooling me. I can tell you’re drooling over me, even like that.”
“I am. I just meant she looks kinda chubby here.”
He stopped smiling and pulled another picture out. He and Janie were little kids.
“You’re adorable,” she gushed, not able to stop herself. “Look at your cheeks. Why’s she mad?” A little Janie wore a threatening glare as she had her head tilted back to meet Logan’s smiling face. He couldn’t have been more than six or seven, so she must’ve been three or four.
He reached for another picture. “She says it was because I was playing with her dolls and broke its head off, but I would never play with her dolls. She had a lot of boy toys anyway. I was actually jealous because she and her brothers had the coolest shit.”
“Mhm,” she said, sighing at a picture of them as teenagers. They were asleep together, and Logan was holding Janie tightly against him. A pang of jealousy rose, but she kept herself from showing it.
“Oh.” He took that one from her. “Yeah, she’d been crying about—something.” He exhaled, and Kylie wondered what bad memory he was experiencing. “My friend Jake took the picture. He didn’t know she’d been upset. My mom—” He shook his head. “Never mind.”
Kylie stayed quiet as her thoughts went wild. There was so much about Logan she didn’t know. She wanted to know everything, but she was afraid to at the same time. “What about this one?” She pointed to a happier looking photo.
“I won my first pro match. I was eighteen.”
Kylie smiled even though Logan had his arm wrapped around Janie, his lips pressed against her head. It looked like he was whispering something to her.
Logan confirmed her thoughts. “I was telling her I was going to puke because she’d just kneed me in the nuts when she ran to hug me. I told her to cause a distraction so I could escape. That’s why I’m holding onto her. I didn’t want to look like a wimp after winning, only to get taken out by my tiny ass girlfriend’s accidental nut-shot.” He smiled at the picture and set it with the other, suddenly looking heartbroken. “This was a little before we broke up. I think it was the last time she was really happy with me.”
Kylie rubbed his arm, feeling the urge to prove to him Janie still cared for him. It was a conflicting desire. “I know that’s untrue.” She smiled up at him. “She adores you. You wouldn’t be so important to her if you didn’t make her happy. And you’re certainly better than Ryder ever could be.”
Logan didn’t say anything as he reached for the last picture. This one was just a group shot of him with Mark, his coach, and several other fighters she’d seen at his gym. He turned the frame over to open the back. “My dad didn’t know to look here,” he said softly as he pulled out two separate pictures.
The first one, she knew right away it was him. He was little though—maybe three years old. He was sitting between two women with a baby in his arms. There was definite nervousness in his posture as he cradled the newborn, but he was smiling, just like the two women beside him.
“Remember when I said I called her baby doll because I thought she was a doll? This was the day she was born,” he said. “I told my mom”—he pointed to the woman wearing a red hoodie—“we needed to go to the store where she came from because I wanted a baby doll, too.” He sighed, rubbing his thumb over Janie’s tiny face. “Then I decided I just wanted to keep her. My dad used to tell me I knew the moment she was born. I don’t remember, but he said I looked up at the moon and said, ‘My forever’s here.’”
He smiled sadly. “It’s a secret story in the Grimm legacy. My dad and her mom said we were destined to meet—like our souls would always find each other, no matter what life we lived. We were tied together or something.”
“Soul mates?” Her heart cr
acked.
“No.” He scratched the back of his neck. “I kinda don’t want to get into it, especially today.”
She didn’t either, but her stupid need to know these things was going to drive her nuts if he didn’t clarify. Maybe he sensed that, because he started talking again.
“It’s just my dad and Janie’s mom are considered guardians of certain legacies. They believed we were destined to make a journey together. All key members in the families have their own destinies—like a hero’s quest. She was mine.” He stared at the picture. “I failed. Now I’ve lost her.”
Fucking hell.
Kylie stayed quiet as her eyes drifted over the picture. How could she ignore him calling Janie his forever? Let alone hear him say Janie was his destiny! She didn’t know how she managed to not rip the picture from his hand and shred it, but she remained in place as he seemed to be stuck in his own thoughts.
“I guess I should’ve listened to my mom,” he murmured. “The story with her isn’t a happy one, but we always chose to stay close anyway. One thing stressed in the stories is that there’s always two.”
“Two what?”
He shrugged, still staring at Janie’s face. “Two of everything. There’s only one pair that’s certain, and I’m not part of that legacy. Mom didn’t like the legacies about me and my dad. I guess they were right about them though. They went against fate when they married and had me and my brother. But she reasoned that fate made a mistake because we were all predestined. Dad said some things are just that way because she made it so.”
“She?”
“The Creator.” He grinned. “I feel like I’m telling a scary story.”
She beamed up at him. “I like listening to you talk about it, even if it’s totally fake. And I thought God was male.”
He sighed, his gaze falling on the picture again. “Not God—the Creator for this world, a woman. One who had a fondness for fairy tales and all things magical. I never understood why my mom had such a problem with it all. Even she adored the original Grimm’s fairy tales. Little Red Riding Hood was her favorite.”
