Sure. Lunch today at First Bar?
His words bring fresh tears to my eyes. Who am I kidding? I miss him with every fiber of my being. I miss having breakfast, lunch, and dinner with Declan. I miss knowing that he’s waiting for me at the end of the day. I miss him in my bed. I miss making love with him. I miss his strength and his wisdom. I text him back and confirm the lunch date.
As lunch nears, my nervousness kicks up a notch. What if he’s not interested in co-parenting with me? Then I’ll raise my baby alone. I started a business from scratch and built it up into something beautiful. Surely, I can raise a baby alone.
Unable to bear waiting, I leave the office a little early and drive to Second Street. My heart raps against my ribs, ringing in my ears. Declan and I planned to meet at twelve-thirty, and now it’s noon. The bar is pretty empty, apart from Harry and Keane from the fire station.
I wave at them and at Jim, who is behind the counter. I choose a table at the back, which has a bit of privacy. A waiter comes to take my order, and I ask for a bottle of water.
I’m glad I’ve come early. I sift through every possible scenario with Declan. My telling him about the baby is a matter of courtesy. I don’t expect or want anything from him, but it would be nice to have his name on the birth certificate.
I thought I was ready for him, but when Declan walks in, I feel as if all the air has been knocked from me. He stands at the counter to chat with Jim and Marcus. He’s in the company T-shirt and a pair of jeans that look as if they were custom-designed for him.
My heart flutters like mad when he turns my way, and our gazes meet. The world stops. He says something to Jim and then moves toward me. It’s a good thing that I’m seated. No way would my legs support me.
“Hey,” he says and then pulls a chair and sits down opposite me. Disappointment, hurt, pain, more hurt … settle in my chest. I’d expected, at the very least, a kiss on the cheek.
“Hi,” I manage to say.
We sit staring at each other like two people who are meeting for the first time. I want to scream at him. Do you remember waking up naked together? Do you remember telling me that you love me? Was any of that real?
I force myself back to the present. I’m a step away from bursting into tears and making a fool of myself.
“How are your mom and Josh’s wedding plans going?” Declan asks.
“Pretty good. Did you get your invite?” I ask him.
“I did, yeah.”
He stops there and doesn’t confirm whether or not he’ll attend. It doesn’t matter to me.
“So, it goes without saying that we’ve reached the end of this road,” Declan says.
A server interrupts by bringing the food. He places a plate of food in front of me, but I can’t focus. It’s truly over between us. A bitter, sharp laugh escapes my mouth. The server looks at me weirdly, but I don’t care.
It’s one thing to think it’s over and quite another to hear it from the horse’s mouth. “What will I be after our divorce goes through?” I ask Declan in a jokey tone. “A twice-divorced woman?”
Declan stares at me. “If I remember correctly, you were the one who was adamant that we divorce as soon as we each have what we want.”
“You’re right,” I tell him and let out a shaky breath. I wanted that before I fell in love with you.
“What did you want to talk about?” Declan asks as he tucks into his steak with obvious relish.
My knees turn to water. I have to tell him. He deserves to know. I wrap my hand around the bottle of water and bring it to my lips. The cool liquid wets my dry mouth and throat.
“I haven’t been feeling too well lately, and so this morning, I went to the clinic.”
A look of concern comes over his features, but I know it doesn’t mean anything. That’s the kind of person Declan is. He cares about his family and friends. I like to think that I at least fall in that latter category.
“Turns out that I’m pregnant,” I tell him.
A look of pure wonder comes over his features before it disappears. “Congratulations. Now you have what you wanted all along.” He pushes his steak away.
Anger courses through me. “So do you. You have your precious LA branch.”
“Glad we’re even,” Declan says.
“I’m assuming that you don’t want to be part of the baby’s life?” I ask him. “Don’t worry; I don’t need anything from you.”
“I’m sure you don’t,” Declan says.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I say.
Declan’s shoulders suddenly slump. A tired look comes over his features, and guilt comes over me. Then I remind myself that he’s the one who lied to me. The one who pretended to love me until he got what he wanted.
I steel myself.
“Do what you want, Marian. I don’t want to fight with you or with anybody else for that matter. Go back to Arlen. Whatever makes you happy. Go for it.”
He stands up, and before I can recover and ask him exactly what he means, he walks away. I’m tempted to go after him, but I feel as if I’ve been in an intense wrestling match.
Chapter 40
Declan
I hadn’t planned on attending Josh and Judy’s wedding, but I guess I’m a sucker for punishment because, on a lovely Friday morning, I’m driving up to Arlen. I want to see Marian so badly, and yet I don’t.
She’ll most likely be with Leonard, and seeing them together will just about kill me. But maybe that’s what my stupid brain needs to stop thinking about Marian and our baby. You would think that three weeks would be enough to move on or at least ease the pain. If anything, it’s getting worse. Even Ace and Lexi have stopped inviting me for dinner at their place until I can replace my permanent droopy face with a more cheerful one.
My chest is empty where my heart should be. I’m miserable, and yet I should be the happiest man in the country. The LA branch of Did you say Pizza? has exceeded our financial projections. The Santa Monica branch is doing great as well.
Turns out I’m not all about business as I once believed. I hate this weakness for Marian that I have. I hate that I love her so much, which makes all the things that I’ve achieved seem meaningless. I miss her so much.
The memories swamp me then. Marian when she’s just fallen asleep with strands of her gorgeous chocolate brown hair lying across her forehead. Marian opening one emerald green eye before deciding whether to wake up or not. Marian throwing her head back to laugh. And this one that makes my cock hard instantly. Marian, with her legs thrown apart, writhing and whimpering as I eat her pussy.
I get to the Resort in good time to check-in and head to the garden where the ceremony is being held. I see her as soon as I step out. She’s dressed in a gorgeous pale green flowing dress that makes me wonder if her belly has started filling out.
She has her back to me, and she and another woman are fiddling with the flowers arranged in vases along with the altar. The garden is milling with guests, and I stand hidden by a tree as I watch Marian.
I feel as if I were underwater and I’ve come up for air. Marian is my air, and I can’t get enough of her. I don’t know how long I stand there, missing every familiar gesture and facial expression.
Eric, one of her colleagues, walks up to her and whispers into her ear. In his hand, he has a portable bell, and he rings it, calling for everyone to get seated. I slip into a back chair where I have a nice view of the proceedings.
I haven’t spotted Leonard yet. I hope he doesn’t show up. From what I gathered, he’s not Judy’s favorite person, so it’s possible he did not get an invitation.
Music drifts down from speakers hidden behind trees and flowers. The groom goes to the front, and the wedding march comes on. We all stand up as Judy walks down the aisle. She’s beaming from ear to ear and only has eyes for Josh.
Envy comes over me. I’ll never take love for granted again. If I ever get to meet that special person again, I’ll hold on to them for dear life. The ceremony goes smoot
hly, and afterward, we stand and cheer as Judy and Josh walk back up the aisle.
I turn to my right and find Marian looking at me, a stunned expression on her face. I smile tentatively, and she smiles back. Instead of following everyone else to the ballroom, I stay behind, and so does Marian.
She comes to me. “What a nice surprise.”
From what I can tell, she means it. “You look beautiful. Pregnancy suits you.”
She laughs softly. “Thank you.”
“How do you feel?” I ask her.
“Physical miserable. I’m sick every morning, and I love it,” she says and laughs again.
“I wish I could be there to be physically ill with you every morning,” I say without thinking.
The change is instant. “Let’s not play games, Declan. I can’t bear to go through that pain again.”
I feel as if we are communicating in different dialects in English. I decide to change the topic. “You’ve done a good job. Everything looks beautiful.”
“Yes, thanks,” Marian says dully.
Feeling as if I’m imposing or taking too much of her time, I take a step back. “It was nice to see you.” I don’t want to walk away, but our meeting has reminded me why Marian and I can’t work.
I turn away.
“What did you come here for?” Marian’s sharp voice stops me in my tracks.
I whirl around.
“Did you come to gloat over how well you’re doing? How unaffected you are by everything?”
And just like that, I snap. I close the distance between us. “What the fuck are you talking about, Marian? You’re the one who lied to me. You made me think we had something special when all along you were weighing me and Leonard like an old lady in a farmer’s market picking out tomatoes.”
“What do you mean?” she says, her voice lowered.
“Oh, I know that you were contemplating going back to Leonard. Are you together now? Are you planning on raising my baby with him? Tell me something, Marian, why didn’t you just have a baby with him if you love him so much?”
Marian is shocked into silence.
“I don’t even know why I came. I’m a fool. And you know the worst of it. I still love you. Go and tell Leonard that, and you two can laugh together. This is the last of me that you’ll see.” I turn and walk away.
I love Judy, and I feel bad that I’m at the bar instead of at the reception toasting the bride and groom. Two beers in, and I’m beginning to feel human again.
I feel rather than see Marian’s presence at the barstool next to me. “Did you come to gloat over how well you’re doing? How unaffected you are by everything?” I throw her words back at her.
She cringes visibly. “No, I didn’t. I think we need to talk honestly, and I want to go first.”
I don’t see what good it will do us, but I’m here already, and to be honest, I’m desperate to hear what she has to say.
“I’m sorry, Declan, for so many things, the biggest of which was not trusting you to see who I was,” she says. “I never wanted to go back to Leonard. I wanted his daughter. A sweet three-year-old called Samantha.”
She tells me about how Leonard tried to lure her with Samantha since he knew how badly she wanted a baby. And she had just lost a pregnancy that she believed was the baby she longed for.
My eyes are wet as she speaks.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask her. What was it about me that made her frightened to confide in me?
“That’s not all,” Marian says, wiping tears with the back of her hands. “I was seeing a therapist. Still am.”
“When we were together?” I ask her, the shock I feel evident in my voice. How could she have kept so much from me?
She nods. “You married a woman you thought was perfect, and I wanted that illusion to remain intact. I didn’t think you’d love me if you knew how flawed I was.”
I shake my head. “Marian, those flaws make me love you even more. I’m sorry that you felt you couldn’t trust me. But it’s not all your fault. I kept things from you too.”
She smiles at me through her tears. “We must be the most messed up couple in the history of marriage.”
I chuckle despite myself. “Maybe. But one thing is for sure, through it all, I’ve never stopped loving you.”
Her eyes widen. “Even after everything that I’ve told you?”
She’s so beautiful that I want to take her into my arms there and kiss her senseless. “More so after that.”
Her chest rises and falls as she inhales deeply. “I hope I’m not dreaming else I’ll be royally pissed off if I wake up and find that this is a dream.” She stands up and comes to stand between my legs. She throws her hands around my neck.
I inhale her peppermint scent like a man fighting for breath and slip my arms around her waist. I lower my head and kiss her slightly rounded belly. “I love you, Marian Carter. Will you have me back?”
Tears flood her eyes. She nods. “I love you, Declan Carter. If you asked me again, I’d say yes.”
She lowers her head, and we kiss deeply. I pull her closer and closer until she’s literally on my lap.
A cough sounds from a distance. It comes again, closer this time. Marian and I break apart.
“Sorry to bother you two lovebirds,” Eric says. “But the bride and groom are about to have their first dance. Did you want to be there?”
Marian and I glance at each other and then at Eric. “No,” we say at the same time.
He chuckles and withdraws.
“I have a room,” I tell Marian.
“So do I,” she says in a seductive tone.
“We’ll go to mine,” I tell her. “No one knows the room number except me.”
I take her hand, and we leave for my room and the rest of our lives. When we enter my room and shut the door behind us, giddy joy fills me. Gratitude washes over me.
We stand in each other’s arms, looking into each other’s eyes in wonder.
“We came so close—” I start to say.
“To losing each other,” Marian finishes.
“Never again,” I tell her fiercely. “I can’t live without you, Marian.”
She pats her stomach. “Us neither.”
I take her hand and lead her to the bed, where for the next couple of hours, my only purpose is to show Marian how very much I love her.
Epilogue
Six months Later
Declan
“I can’t believe you got yourself kicked out of the delivery room,” Ace says as we pace the waiting room together.
I stop pacing to throw him a dirty look. “I was just trying to help Marian.”
Ace throws his head back to laugh. “You were making inappropriate jokes.”
“Marian needed a distraction from the pain.” Okay, I admit that I might have gone too far with the locker room jokes. The doctor had politely asked me to wait outside the delivery room. “I’m glad that Lexi is in there with her, but I feel cheated.”
I’ve had permanent anxiety in the last couple of months as the process by which our baby would come into the world dawned on me. The thought of Marian in pain was enough for me to break out into a cold sweat. Now that I think about it, I see that I’ve worked myself up to an almost nervous breakdown. No wonder I behaved like a lunatic in there.
“It’s been hours, hasn’t it?” I ask Ace.
He glances down at his watch. “I’m sure we’ll hear something soon.”
I think good thoughts. Marian is strong, and she was so excited and looking forward to natural birth. The double doors to the waiting room burst open without warning, and Marian’s doctor walks in.
The wide smile on his face tells me that all is well. “Congratulations! Come and meet your new baby boy.”
I’m out of there like a shot. The doctor and Ace’s laughter follow me. I don’t care about anything except the fact that I’m a dad. By the time I get to Marian’s room, I can hardly see from the tears blinding me.
Lexi pa
ts my shoulder as she leaves the room.
I stop at the door and wipe away my tears. Marian is sitting up in bed with our baby in her arms. She smiles. She looks tired but happy. I approach the bed and kiss Marian. Then I look down at the baby.
“He’s perfect,” I whisper, completely awestruck. “And so tiny.”
She laughs softly. “Do you want to hold him?”
“Yes.” I carefully take him from his mom and hold him up. I kiss his forehead. His eyes are tightly shut. I switch my gaze to Marian. “I love you so much, mom.”
“I love you too, dad,” she says.
“Do you know how happy you’ve made me?” I ask her.
“I have a pretty good idea.”
THE END
Dear reader,
First of all, thank you so much for reading my books! It’s passionate readers like you that allow me to live my dream and do the thing I love most on earth, which is writing books and entertaining people!
Do you want more of this hot firefighter world? Then make sure to get your copy of “Unexpected Heat” now! This time it’s Brad’s and Mila’s love story!
Get your copy here!
If you want to read it first – I’ve got you covered! I’ve included a preview of the book on the next pages! ;-)
Preview: Unexpected Heat
Chapter 1
Mila
I love my studio, and right now, it’s super tidy with everything on my desk arranged neatly and the easels standing side by side. My gaze falls on my three work-in-progress portraits, and I know they’ll soon go to the trash can. They look terrible.
A heaviness comes over my body.
How long will it last, this inability to work? The last time I turned out a good piece was almost a year ago. Thankfully, I’ve been prolific over the last couple of years, taking in portrait jobs that have earned me a nice nest egg. Money is not an issue.
One Hot Fake: An Accidental Fake Marriage Romance Page 24
