It sounded like a great idea, so I went first. I told him about how I met Mike, and he told me a little bit about former relationships. I told him about my parents, he mentioned a bit about his, though I couldn’t help noticing how he tensed through that one. So I changed the topic to my son, and he relaxed visibly.
At one point, we both reached for the salt at the same time and stopped mid-air because our hands would have collided. Avoiding accidental touching added another level of awkward to the table. Surprisingly, though, the more we talked, the easier it was to calm down.
But even though I was outwardly calm, I was a nervous wreck inside. I wanted to touch him. Every time he reached for something, salt or some condiment, or just twitched his hands, my own would react. I couldn’t even say if all the near-accidental touching was that, or if my body was moving unconsciously for what it wanted. I knew I couldn’t, shouldn’t, but he was just so fucking hot and right there.
Where would I ever get another chance like this?
“Can I get you two anything else?”
I looked up, surprised to see the waitress was back. I hadn't even noticed her walk up.
“Oh, we’re good for now,” Ken said. Then he paused and turned to me, eyebrow arched. “Unless there’s something you want, Lydia?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m fine.”
“Just the check then, please. After we’re done.”
“Of course.”
Unlike before, I was paying attention to the waitress now, and I wondered how I’d missed it. When she talked, she was looking right at Ken, like I didn’t exist at the table at all. I gave her an appraisal and felt my chest ache.
Young and beautiful, I lamented.
I didn’t miss that Ken didn’t look back at the waitress, even though she was the kind of woman he should have been focusing his attention on, instead of me. I was damn near my forties; I had a kid that took up a lot of my time and a demanding career that took up the rest of it. I could fantasize all I wanted, but I wouldn’t be getting what I wanted. It would be better to not wish for it in the first place.
But I couldn’t help a tightening in my chest.
I didn’t want to give him up.
It had taken me too long to admit to myself that I was lonely. And now, here was someone attractive that I would be spending quite a bit of time around soon. It would be so amazing if I could just let go, be wild once more in my life, like how I’d been before I was tied down. Having a fling, whether or not it meant anything…
But Ken… he was too damn young.
My thoughts kept spinning in confusing circles, between my wants and what I knew I should do. The check came, and we left, with me feeling decidedly more confused and frustrated than when we came in.
Someone like him wouldn’t want someone like me, anyway.
6
Kenji
We managed to get just about everything I needed, and all it took was an hour, including loading. I was driving us back, and we were quiet in the seat. We’d talked just fine in the restaurant, and I knew a few details about her life, but I couldn’t help feeling… awkward.
No, awkward wasn’t the word I was looking for. I was too aware of her. Since I knocked on her door and she let me into her house a few hours earlier, I couldn’t help but stare at her and want to get close to her. I knew better, so I didn’t, but the temptation was there.
I hadn’t been interested in women since my ex, so it was surprising and overwhelming, and I was trying to keep my head and act neighborly, instead of looking at her like I wanted to devour her, even though I wanted to.
Luckily, the trip back was short. I drove faster, and we were back in about ten minutes. I stopped by her driveway, backing up so the bed of the truck faced the house, getting as close as possible. Then I stopped the truck and jumped out.
“Do you need help carrying any of these?” she offered.
I shook my head quickly. “No, no. I've got this. You can go back inside and do whatever it is you do with your Saturday afternoons.”
She hesitated. “If you’re sure?”
“Totally.”
She gave me a last look, then left me to do all the unloading.
I transferred everything to the backyard first, then got down to business. Before I could start, I surveyed the damage, and my eyes narrowed.
Shit.
I hadn't thought this through, not entirely. No wonder, since I’d been distracted by thoughts of Lydia at the time, but I had to get this shit done, and I was only just realizing the job would be bigger than I’d prepared for.
The materials were fine, whatever we hadn't bought I’d probably have in my house. But I’d need to replace the fence’s old support posts, because I figured they’d be useless. To do that, I’d have to dig out the cement, pour new cement and shove in the new posts, then wait for them to settle in the cement as it hardened.
I should have thought about this before. Focus!
I wanted to clear the yard, but that could wait, too. I needed to let Lydia know, so she could decide exactly how we were going to do all this. It was her yard, after all.
With a last look around, I headed back inside the house.
“Lydia?” I called.
She didn’t reply. I didn’t see her in the kitchen or the living room, so I went to the next obvious place. I headed up the curving staircase, pausing a little to stare because I hadn't seen this part of the house yet. I was snapped out of it by the sound of a door closing, and I followed it. There was a short hall on this floor, and one of the doors was open. That was where the sound had come from.
“Lydia?”
I walked over to the door, raising a hand to knock out of politeness. But the door was opened wide enough that I could see her. She was standing in front of another door in the room, that I assumed was the shower because there was nothing but a towel wrapped around her.
Fuck.
She was beautiful. I’d made the realization before, but I made it again, standing there watching her. The top of the towel just barely covered her breasts, revealing a great amount of cleavage. The bottom of the towel just touched the tops of her thighs, and I wanted to turn her around to see the back of her, too.
I dropped my hands to my sides, both of them tightening into fists so I wouldn’t do anything I would regret. But looking at Lydia, just standing there and staring back at me, somehow, I didn’t think she’d mind if anything happened between us.
The look on her face said she wanted me, just as much as I wanted her, and I had to bite back a groan as I watched a drop of water trail down the valley of her breasts and into the towel, my cock twitching in my pants at the sight.
I can't be this attracted to her, I thought, starting to feel a little worried. We just met yesterday, and over an accident I caused because I was in a bad mood!
“I’m sorry to bother you,” I said, once I’d collected my bearings. “I’ll be going back down, just come as soon as you’re done. I wanted to talk to you about something.”
My feet hesitated, but I forced them to move as I turned to walk away.
“Ken, wait!”
I sucked in a sharp breath as I went completely still. She’d said my name before, but suddenly, I liked the way she said it. I could imagine all the ways I could make her say my name as I took her and made her beg for me to give her more.
Stop it! Control your thoughts, boy. You’re not a teenager anymore.
“What is it?” I asked, turning my head to the side without fully turning around. I didn’t want her to see the slight bulge at my crotch.
“Sorry. I know this is a little awkward, but we’re both grown-ups, so can we just act like we are, please?”
There was this pleading tone in her voice that I couldn’t help but react to. I turned around to face her. She had her arms crossed over her chest, making sure the towel wouldn’t fall, but also emphasizing the size of her breasts.
“Look,” she said. “If you’re going to be working on my fence,
no matter for how short a time, we’re going to have to be around each other, so we might as well... try to relax in each other’s presence. Why don’t we go out for dinner tonight? And I’ll drive this time.”
My eyes had drifted down of their own accord, but at her asking me out to dinner, they shot up to meet hers. I hadn't expected that.
“Um…”
She smiled. “We’re neighbors, after all. We’ve been next door neighbors for a while now, and we only just started talking to each other yesterday. You know, eventually, you’re going to run out of work on that house of yours, and we’ll be living beside each other for a while, probably.”
True. I’d barely seen or talked to her before yesterday because I was always busy, and because of her schedule. But when I started to relax, we might run into each other more in the future.
I was hoping for it, so why refuse the invitation?
“I would love to go to dinner,” I told her.
At the same time, a part of me wanted to scream.
Why am I agreeing, knowing that I’m into her? I’m too attracted. I should be pulling back, not rushing straight ahead!
But there was no way I could say no. And not just because she was asking while half naked. She was acting all shy, her eyes dropping down as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, even as she smiled and let out a little laugh, her gray eyes sparkling when they met mine. And the sound of her voice… it was all just too fascinating to me. Another reason why I should stop, but I knew I wasn’t going to.
I knew I would only get hurt if I pushed this thing any further. Lydia was an amazing woman. Some years older than me, with a professional job, though I wasn’t exactly sure what it was that she did. She was an independent woman with a child to look after, the world at her feet. I knew, though, that I couldn’t bring myself to say no to her.
Lydia waved shyly at me, and we both seemed to remember our positions. She went back to her room to change, and I went downstairs to work on her backyard. We’d surprisingly taken much of the day already, and it was a surprise how quickly evening was drawing in.
It didn’t feel like long at all before she was at the back door, calling for me so we could go. I slapped my hands together to get rid of any dirt and followed her to her car.
We went back into town, but to a different restaurant this time. I thought it was better than the last one, somewhat larger, the ambiance better. There were some families around, but it looked like a pretty good dating hang out. There were a few couples around when I checked.
“So,” Lydia was saying as we sat down. “Can you tell me the progress you’ve made with the fence?”
I remembered what I’d wanted to tell her before. “There was something I wanted to tell you about that… But why don’t we talk about something else over dinner? We can talk about your yard later.”
“Oh.” She looked surprised, and I couldn’t blame her.
But there was no way I could focus on work right then. If she had ideas and she told them to me, I’d probably just have her repeat everything for me until she grew sick of me.
Instead, Lydia chattered as I stared at her.
She’d changed into a different set of clothes from what she was in earlier. Although the outfit had been nice, she looked even more amazing now. She’d switched the pants and a blouse for a dress that tightened around just the right curves. It was black, falling to just above her knees, with a V-neck that had my eyes dropping to her breasts now and then. I told myself it was inappropriate to stare at her like that and to look away, but my eyes would drift again.
Why are you sitting here with me, Lydia? I thought. Surely, you must have something better to do than sit here with me talking about nothing important.
The way she was dressed, she looked like she was going to a function somewhere, not just catching dinner with me at a semi-formal restaurant. I waited for her to say that she did, to suddenly declare that she had to go, then just run out on me.
But those words never came. We had dinner, then she drove us home. My truck was still parked in her driveway, and I’d have to remember to remove it.
I stepped out of the car as she did. Our eyes met above the car, and at the same time, we both walked forward. We went around the hood of the car, and the space between us grew smaller as I walked her to her door. Like we’d just been on a date. My inner teenager was back, and I could feel my heart starting to beat faster as my eyes dropped to her mouth. I wanted to kiss her so bad…
You can't, I thought harshly.
Lydia came to a stop, turning so we faced each other, and she tilted her head up. It just increased the temptation for me, but I knew better than to try anything. We’d agreed we’d act like adults, but that didn’t include offending her.
Lydia wasn’t the kind of woman I could just mess with. Not only was she so far out my league, but I would also be living right next door to this woman, and I didn’t want things between us growing awkward. No matter how badly I wanted to take a step closer and close the space between our lips, I took a step back instead.
Oh, but Lydia… if only I could… you have no idea the things I want to do with you, to you.
She didn’t turn away from me as she reached around with her keys, sparing a glance to get them in the keyhole before her eyes were back on mine. She unlocked her door and walked backward inside. Her eyes were practically inviting me to join her. My body tensed as I was about to walk forward, but I wasn’t that weak. I kept my position and applauded myself. Because whatever signals her eyes were sending me, it was hard to miss how tensed her body was.
Let this go, I thought. It’s for the best.
At least for right now.
“I’d better go,” I murmured, the first words we’d spoken since we left the restaurant. “Promise I’ll be back tomorrow. For your fence.”
I let my voice trail off before I could make a fool of myself. Her lips quirked in a small smile, and I turned around and walked away before the last of my control crumbled, and I did something we might both regret come tomorrow.
Oh, but what a night we could have had.
7
Lydia
On Monday, I was back to work. I had to get up early, make sure my boy was all right, then head off to the office in a hurry.
I was almost late.
The weekend was over, and now Monday was a whole new hell.
Yesterday, Ken was supposed to show up to continue fixing my fence. But instead, because there was a rain shower, we had to take a rain check. I was partly glad for this because it meant he had an excuse to show up on my doorstep. But for the same reason, I didn’t like it. I would have rather had things done than to torture myself slowly like this.
To make matters worse, Bryson was brought back early after breakfast feeling poorly. It could have been something he ate when Martha wasn’t looking, or he ended up with a tummy virus. Either way, my baby spent the rest of the day puking and lying in his bed, groaning for most of the day. He’d seemed to calm down later in the evening and even managed to keep down some food. When I woke him up this morning, he seemed just fine and went to school as usual.
But it had been a long weekend and it was going to be a long Monday for me. Just getting to my desk to see all the papers waiting for me, I was tempted to toss everything to the floor and lie down on the desk. But that would be childish, and I was supposed to be a mature woman.
Still, I was so glad when lunch rolled around. My friend had called me up to meet her because she worked nearby, and I was looking forward to the break. The place we were meeting at was close enough to walk, and I didn’t hurry on the way, letting the cool breeze relax me a little.
“Lydia, over here!”
I looked up to the sound of my name and saw my friend. She was seated at an outdoor table under an umbrella, waving her hand at me. I smiled and walked over, taking the seat across from her.
“Hey, Annara,” I said, plopping down with a heavy sigh.
She arched a blond e
yebrow at me. “You look dead tired.”
“Well, I can't help it. Bryson was sick all day yesterday, and I had to keep cleaning up his spills…”
She wrinkled her nose. Annara, unlike me, didn’t have any children. She was also a few years younger, so she still had time if she wanted to start a family. I hoped she would take the chance one day because I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like without Bryson, puke and all.
“Sorry about that. I hope the little guy is okay.”
I shrugged. “I think he ate something he shouldn’t have and didn’t tell Martha about it. He was over at her place so he could have a sleepover with Jason on Saturday. He’s doing fine now, though.”
Annara murmured, pushing her sunglasses up over her blond hair to reveal twinkling brown eyes. She was going to say something else but before she could a waiter stopped at our table. He grinned down at us, holding a notepad with a pen at the ready.
“What can I get for you, ladies?”
I reached for one of the menus as she picked up the other. We went through it quickly and decided on what we wanted. We gave the order, and the waiter walked away. I didn’t miss Annara’s eyes lingering on him, especially his ass, and I rolled my eyes. She caught it and scoffed at me.
“Oh, come on. I’m single. There’s nothing wrong with looking, is there?”
I sighed, slumping my shoulders. If I could feel the way she did, I would have stared at Ken’s ass as he worked on my fence without feeling any guilt or confusion.
“Please just ignore me,” I said, waving a dismissive hand at her. “I’m not really in the best of moods right now.”
She grinned. “I don’t see why, when you had such a hot guy to keep you company on the weekend.”
My eyes widened, my back straightening as I felt a flush climb up my cheeks. Ken and I had been out together twice on Saturday. I remembered his face from lunch, then later that evening. Not to mention the way he’d looked at me when I closed my door on him on Saturday night.
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