by L. C. Davis
"It's alright," Duke murmured. "Connor, I thought I'd lost you. I know you're scared, I know this isn't what you wanted and I want you to know I'm not going to pressure you to do anything you don't want to do," he said, stroking the omega's hair as he held him close. "I also know I don't have any right to ask this, but I want you, both of you so much, I... Please, just consider giving me one more chance to show I can take care of you. If you don't want anything to do with either of us after the baby is born, I'll raise it myself. I can't promise I won't spend the rest of my life trying to convince you, but --"
Connor pulled away enough to see Duke's face, the alpha's words having ceased to many any sense to him. "What? What are you talking about?"
"I know you weren't sure you wanted to carry the pregnancy to term," Duke replied carefully. "I know you don't want to be bound to an alpha, especially me, especially not after everything that's happened..."
Connor leaned up to press his lips to Duke's the way he'd done so many times in his dreams. It had the effect of silencing him long enough for Connor's brain to catch up. His faculties were returning slowly but surely. "I wasn't sure," he murmured. "But that changed. A lot has changed, Duke. I've changed in ways I don't even understand, and I know that doesn't sound like much, but when you're used to seeing through everything, it's fucking terrifying."
A faint smile crossed the alpha's lips as he stared down at his mate in awe.
"What?" Connor asked.
"You just never stop surprising me." The words were filled with something that shot directly to Connor's heart, filling his entire body with warmth. "I've trained and fought the strongest alphas in the region, and I don't know anyone who could've made it through everything you have without breaking. Yet here you are, stronger than ever."
"I'm not strong," Connor admitted, looking away. "I've changed, but I don't know if that's a good thing. In some ways, I feel weaker than I ever have. I feel things, good and bad, things I thought I'd left behind a long time ago. It makes everything hurt so much more, and I thought of shutting it off again so many times when I was in that place."
"But you didn't," Duke pressed. "Why?"
Connor hesitated. "I just knew if I did, I'd lose all the good things, too. The bonds I've built with Mel and the family...the way I feel for you."
Shock flickered in the alpha's gaze. "How do you feel?"
Before Connor could answer, Duke interrupted with, "No. No, don't tell me that yet," he said with a grimace. "First, you need to know the truth. There's something I haven't told you, and I don't want you to say what I think you're about to until you know."
"What is it?" he asked worriedly. What a strange thing it was to have so much hinging on another person's words. Now he didn't just have to manage his own feelings, but others', too. It was overwhelming, but he couldn't bring himself to regret choosing this new form of vulnerability. It was painful, but the benefits were so much greater than the anguish.
"I imprinted on you."
The words took the breath from the omega's lungs. Well, that explained Duke's interest, even if it raised other questions.
Duke's eyes filled with shame as he spoke the next part of his confession. "It happened the first time I saw you," he admitted. "Two years ago."
Connor took a moment to process what that meant. "But how? I never even met you until the party."
"I know, but I saw you. When I came to make sure you were imprisoned securely, for the Tribunal. I've known ever since then, and I was too much of a coward to come forward," he said, his tone rough with self-loathing. "I thought you were a different person, one who couldn't feel anything for anyone other than himself and didn't want to. Then, when I saw the way you were with Mel, I had my doubts but I suppressed them. I kept quiet because I knew if I came forward and claimed you, if I accepted that you really had changed, I would have to change, too."
"I was a different person back then, Duke," Connor said after taking a moment to process. He had never imagined an alpha would imprint on him, and there was part of him that wished he could numb himself to the pain that came with knowing Duke hadn't acted on his claim for so long, but he couldn't blame him. "You did get the shortest possible end of the stick when it comes to destined mates. Most would have done the same thing."
"It doesn't matter. I failed you and I failed myself," he gritted out. "That's not the kind of man I want to be, and it's not the way I was raised. Even if you were every bit as cold and unfeeling as I wanted to believe you were back then, I should have tried. You're my omega, and I should have given you the love and shelter you needed to heal, to be a better version of yourself like you make me want to be. Whether you ever forgive me or not, I'm never going to forgive myself for that."
"You came for me," said Connor. "Aaron told me he made it look like I ran away and betrayed the pack, betrayed my family. He said no one would believe me because of who I was and who he was, and I didn't think anyone was coming." His voice broke and his eyes filled with tears when he had just gotten a handle on them. "But you did."
"It wasn't just me," Duke said, kissing away the tears on Connor's cheeks. "Hassan came with me, Toval and Mel never stopped searching. Mitchell and the whole TTF were looking for you."
"How did you know I didn't run?"
Duke hesitated. "Once we got to the garden, the evidence suggested as much," he said, still every bit the logical soldier. "But honestly, I knew before then. I knew you wouldn't hurt Mel like that, if nothing else. It just wasn't something you would do."
"I'm a murderer," Connor said with a dry laugh. "You think staging my own kidnapping is beyond me?"
Duke pressed his forehead against the omega's, marking him with his scent. "I don't think you've ever been capable of hurting the people you love. Not as Cutter, not as Connor. Not ever."
Connor pursed his lips to keep them from trembling. The alpha claimed them, melting his tension and easing the ache in his chest. "Say you'll give me a chance," he pleaded, pressing a hand to Connor's stomach. "Say you'll let me take care of you the way I should have from the beginning."
The omega let out a trembling breath, overwhelmed by the sheer force of the emotions welling inside of him. His heart felt like it was going to explode, but this was nothing like that flood of terror and pain that had forced him to wall his gentle omega nature off so long ago. It was pure bliss. "I don't know how to be someone's mate," he warned. "I don't know how to be an omega, this is all new and I don't do things I can't be good at. I'll screw things up, and I'll hurt you without even trying."
"Then we'll screw things up together, wipe the board clean and start again," Duke said confidently. "Until we uh, get a checkmate or whatever."
Connor cringed, but it soon turned to a smile as he leaned into the alpha's embrace. "Just leave the chess metaphors to me, hm?"
"You got it," Duke said, kissing the top of his head. They laid together in silence, Connor counting the beats of the alpha's heart. He never would have imagined he could feel so safe in the arms of an alpha, let alone one as dominant and imposing as Duke, the man who had spent years hunting him. Even more startling was the realization that he didn't mind accepting the alpha's protection, knowing that there wasn't a monster in all the world that his mate would allow to reach him. Not even the one that lingered in the shadows of his own heart.
After what felt like an eternity of bliss in Duke's arms, the sound of a knock at the door roused Connor from his sleepy state. He smiled as he saw Mel walk in with Toval at his side, the beta holding a huge pot of colorful flowers and balloons.
"Look who's awake," Toval said with a grin.
"Connor!" Mel scrambled up in bed next to him, pulling his brother into a crushing hug, seemingly oblivious to the alpha he had just displaced.
"Easy, you'll crush the baby," Duke grumbled.
Mel looked between them as if he wasn't quite sure how to handle what had once been a sensitive topic between them.
"I'm keeping the baby," Connor said to put an end to
his confusion. "We've been through a lot together, you know."
Mel smiled softly, kissing Connor's forehead and taking his hand. "I'm just so glad you're okay. They weren't sure you would be."
"So I've heard," he said with a yawn. "It seems omegas are a hardier lot than we've been given credit for."
"How are you feelin'?" asked Toval, setting the flowers down and tying the balloons to the railing on Connor's bed.
"Good, all things considered. Weird."
"Weird how?" Mel asked in a worried tone.
"I don't know. My head feels clearer than it has in a long time," he admitted. "Even since before."
"Probably because the tranqs are out of your system," said Toval. "You would've detoxed while you were, um, gone."
"I thought they would put me back on them when I came here," Connor said, eyeing the bag of clear fluid feeding into his IV.
"That's just morphine," said Duke. "I wouldn't let them put you back on the other stuff. Doc said it wasn't good for either of you long-term, so..."
That explained why his thoughts weren't as sluggish as they had become since his imprisonment. "Is that why I feel things?"
"Doc thinks so," Mel said, lacing his fingers with Connor's. "He has a theory about your, uh, condition."
Connor groaned. "Please. I might be a reformed psychopath, but you don't need to start using euphemisms with me. I was kidnapped, not away at summer camp, and I'm a different person now, but I'm not completely different. Everything I did in the past, that was still my choice and I'm still the one responsible for it."
"Thing is, your past is a little different than the Federation was led to believe," Toval said, cocking an eyebrow. "I've had my team digging into your past all week, and the only people you actually killed were part of Richard's ring. Before you were Cutter, they called you something else."
"What?" Duke asked, looking between the beta and his omega in deep curiosity.
"The Exterminator," Toval said, keeping his eyes on Connor with a knowing gaze.
"The name was a bit melodramatic for my tastes," Connor said with a tired smile. "I chose to rebrand."
"The point is, you didn't start out doing the shit you did because you wanted to make a profit. You made yourself a placeholder."
"There's always going to be darkness," Connor murmured. "When men like Richard 'Drake' die, they leave a void."
"And you filled it so another Richard wouldn't," Duke said, an unreadable look on his face. When he focused on what the alpha was feeling, something he had never had the cause nor the ability to do, Connor could sense his guilt and squeezed his hand with the one Mel wasn't grasping.
"I didn't do a very good job. All those years of work, and Aaron picked up where Richard left off," he said, his voice hoarse with regret.
"It's not your fault, Connor," Mel said softly. "We didn't know what would happen. What you were holding back..."
"Don't turn me into some saint now just because I came out on the other side of hell," Connor muttered. "I might have started out with decent motives, but I became a devil all the same. I don't regret killing Richard or dismantling his ring, but I regret not doing more. I regret not fighting a different way, and I regret that I lost sight of myself in the darkness so much I became it. For a long time, I lost sight of everything that mattered. All but one," he said, giving Mel a reassuring smile. "I have so many regrets, but staying with you has never been one of them."
Tears slipped down Mel's face as he nuzzled Connor's cheek. "I love you so much. "
"I love you, too," Connor murmured, stroking the other omega's hair back behind his ear. He sighed, looking at Toval and Duke in turn. "It's probably the morphine making me admit this, so don't get used to hearing it, but I love all of you. Including Hassan and the kids." He hesitated. "Where is he, anyway?"
"He had to go back, Lucy hasn't been feeling well," said Mel. "He said to give you this, and it comes with a message." He reached into his pocket for what looked like a piece of wood at first glance. Connor took it, running his hand over the smooth, finished wood that had been carved into a king. To anyone else, it might have looked just like another chess piece, but Connor recognized the grain in the wood and the scent that clung to it through the smoke that had absorbed into the wood. His hand trembled as he turned the piece over in it, marveling at the intricate carvings of something so hideous that had been turned into something he loved.
"What was the message?" he asked, his voice strained.
Mel watched him in concern. "He said, 'Get better soon, the endgame is just beginning.' What does that mean?"
"This is carved from part of the bannister in the Parlor," Connor murmured, clutching the piece like it was his most treasured possession. "The endgame is the part in a game of chess where the king has to come out and fight."
"You're done fighting," Duke said, tilting Connor's chin up. "I'm not going to let anything else happen to you."
Connor smiled and nodded. Surrounded by love and safety, he was quickly succumbing to exhaustion and he didn't have the energy to tell the alpha that was exactly the point Hassan was making. For so long, Connor had done everything on his own. He'd been the queen, capable of moving in every direction, but it was time to stop playing a one-man game and trust that those who surrounded him would help carry him the rest of the way. Especially his king.
Chapter Twenty-Five
DUKE
For years, Duke had been an alpha without a pack or a home base to call his own and that pleased him just fine. The moment he brought Connor back to Mountain Ridge, his wolf was filled with peace and satisfaction. They were home, if only because this was where Connor belonged, the only place he could truly be safe and appreciated for who he was, not the image he'd projected for so long.
The omega had handled the plane ride like a champ, but Duke could tell he was exhausted and was guarding his time as fiercely as he intended to guard everything else. Connor wanted to stay close and he had a feeling Mel would castrate him if he so much as suggested otherwise, so they had temporarily settled in the apartment across from his. Doc had returned with them to manage Connor's recovery and Duke swore that if the Pine Valley alpha and his mate ever needed a damn thing for the rest of their lives, they were getting it for all the help they'd given his mate.
Connor was recovering well, all things considered, but while most of his physical wounds were healing, he hadn't come through his captivity unscathed. Whenever a door would fall shut or a knife scraped the kitchen block the wrong way, the omega would jolt. In the first few weeks they were home, Connor would wake up multiple times in the night screaming and it would take Duke thirty minutes just to get him to calm down. They had been sharing a bed ever since their return, but while they hadn't had sex, Duke found himself marveling at the intimacy that had formed between them. The trauma he had endured at Aaron's hand had dislodged other memories and nightmares the omega had been suppressing for years, some he had never allowed himself to feel at all.
Doc had told Duke that Connor hadn't just suppressed the memories but his omega nature itself. In the face of torment the heart and mind just weren't meant to handle, he had created a shield around himself to keep him from feeling anything at all. It was what had enabled him, a sensitive young omega with a heart gentler than Duke ever would have imagined, to survive, but it had also left him emotionally stunted. His wolf had largely been suppressed along with the rest of his omega nature, but now that his mind was clear and his body free from toxins and psychic suppression alike, he was more vulnerable than ever.
It was the full moon that night, and Doc's warning was still ringing in his ears. Duke wanted to wait for as long as possible to even broach the idea of marking Connor. No matter how gentle he was, a mark required trust and without that, it could end up being another traumatic experience the omega would have to parse out. Nonetheless, it was the first full moon that had passed since Connor had been his new old self, and there was the risk that the need to shift would hurt him. Most
omegas didn't even have to shift on the full moon, but there was a chance Connor's body would see it as a chance to realign his wolf and human natures the way everything else had been. If that happened, a mark might be the only way to keep him from further harm.
"Hey," Duke said, carrying a glass of water along with the supplements and anti-nausea meds Doc had prescribed into the room. It was a much less extensive regimen than the omega had previously been on, but it still required diligent maintenance. Duke was relieved he had the time to focus solely on his mate's recovery, and Mitchell had assured him that they could discuss his future within the pack once Connor was stable. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine," Connor said, a mischievous glint in his blue eyes as he looked at the alpha over his reading glasses and closed the book he was reading in bed. He set it aside and Duke eyed the cover.
"'The Art of War?'"
"Just because I'm on bed rest doesn't mean I can't stay sharp," Connor said, flashing a bit of fang. They were sharper and more noticeable than most wolves' were. That hadn't changed along with all the other subtle differences Duke had noticed, and he was glad. Even though he knew the fangs were related to the omega's unusual gift, they were part of his charm and admittedly fucking adorable. "And because I can tell you want to ask, my wolf is antsier than usual, but I don't think you need to get the crucifixes out anytime soon."
Duke grunted. "Can't blame me for worrying. It's your first potential shift in what, how long?"
Connor paused to consider it. "Five years, give or take."
Duke stared at him. "What?"
"I'm sure after living with me for a few weeks, you've gathered that my tastes run more refined and sanitary than wild and furry," he said in a dry tone. "That and I don't like being out of control. I've never shifted more than I had to."
