by Edna Ferber
Many of these things Frau Knapf herself told me, standing there by the door with the Kuchen heavy on her mind. Some of them I got from Ernst von Gerhard when I told him about my visitor and her errand. The errand was not disclosed until Frau Knapf had caught me casting a despairing glance at my last typewritten page.
“Ach, see! you got no time for talking to, ain’t it?” she apologized.
“Heaps of time,” I politely assured her, “don’t hurry. But why not have a chair and be comfortable?”
Frau Knapf was not to be deceived. “I go in a minute. But first it is something I like to ask you. You know maybe Frau Nirlanger?”
I shook my head.
“But sure you must know. From Vienna she is, with such a voice like a bird.”
“And the beads, and the gray gown, and the fringe, and the cigarettes?”
“And the oogly husband,” finished Frau Knapf, nodding.
“Oogly,” I agreed, “isn’t the name for it. And so she is Frau Nirlanger? I thought there would be a Von at the very least.”
Whereupon my visitor deserted the doorknob, took half a dozen stealthy steps in my direction and lowered her voice to a hissing whisper of confidence.
“It is more as a Von. I will tell you. Today comes Frau Nirlanger by me and she says: `Frau Knapf, I wish to buy clothes, aber echt Amerikanische. Myself, I do not know what is modish, and I cannot go alone to buy.’”
“That’s a grand idea,” said I, recalling the gray basque and the cannon-ball beads.
“Ja, sure it is,” agreed Frau Knapf. “Soo-o-o, she asks me was it some lady who would come with her by the stores to help a hat and suit and dresses to buy. Stylish she likes they should be, and echt Amerikanisch. So-o-o-o, I say to her, I would go myself with you, only so awful stylish I ain’t, and anyway I got no time. But a lady I know who is got such stylish clothes!” Frau Knapf raised admiring hands and eyes toward heaven. “Such a nice lady she is, and stylish, like anything! And her name is Frau Orme.”
“Oh, really, Frau Knapf—” I murmured in blushing confusion.
“Sure, it is so,” insisted Frau Knapf, coming a step nearer, and sinking her, voice one hiss lower. “You shouldn’t say I said it, but Frau Nirlanger likes she should look young for her husband. He is much younger as she is—aber much. Anyhow ten years. Frau Nirlanger does not tell me this, but from other people I have found out.” Frau Knapf shook her head mysteriously a great many times. “But maybe you ain’t got such an interest in Frau Nirlanger, yes?”
“Interest! I’m eaten up with curiosity. You shan’t leave this room alive until you’ve told me!”
Frau Knapf shook with silent mirth. “Now you make jokings, ain’t? Well, I tell you. In Vienna, Frau Nirlanger was a widow, from a family aber hoch edel—very high born. From the court her family is, and friends from the Emperor, und alles. Sure! Frau Nirlanger, she is different from the rest. Books she likes, und meetings, und all such komisch things. And what you think!”
“I don’t know,” I gasped, hanging on her words, “what DO I think?”
“She meets this here Konrad Nirlanger, and falls with him in love. Und her family is mad! But schrecklich mad! Forty years old she is, and from a noble family, and Konrad Nirlanger is only a student from a university, and he comes from the Volk. Sehr gebildet he is, but not high born. So-o-o-o-o, she runs with him away and is married.”
Shamelessly I drank it all in. “You don’t mean it! Well, then what happened? She ran away with him—with that chin! and then what?”
Frau Knapf was enjoying it as much as I. She drew a long breath, felt of the knob of hair, and plunged once more into the story.
“Like a story-book it is, nicht? Well, Frau Nirlanger, she has already a boy who is ten years old, and a fine sum of money that her first husband left her. Aber when she runs with this poor kerl away from her family, and her first husband’s family is so schrecklich mad that they try by law to take from her her boy and her money, because she has her highborn family disgraced, you see? For a year they fight in the courts, and then it stands that her money Frau Nirlanger can keep, but her boy she cannot have. He will be taken by her highborn family and educated, and he must forget all about his mamma. To cry it is, ain’t it? Das arme Kind! Well, she can stand it no longer to live where her boy is, and not to see him. So-o-o-o, Konrad Nirlanger he gets a chance to come by Amerika where there is a big engineering plant here in Milwaukee, and she begs her husband he should come, because this boy she loves very much—Oh, she loves her young husband too, but different, yes?”
“Oh, yes,” I agreed, remembering the gay little trilling laugh, and the face that was so young when animated, and so old and worn in repose. “Oh, yes. Quite, quite different.”
Frau Knapf smoothed her spotless skirt and shook her head slowly and sadly. “So-o-o-o, by Amerika they come. And Konrad Nirlanger he is maybe a little cross and so, because for a year they have been in the courts, and it might have been the money they would lose, and for money Konrad Nirlanger cares—well, you shall see. But Frau Nirlanger must not mourn and cry. She must laugh and sing, and be gay for her husband. But Frau Nirlanger has no grand clothes, for first she runs away with Konrad Nirlanger, and then her money is tied in the law. Now she has again her money, and she must be young—but young!”
With a gesture that expressed a world of pathos and futility Frau Knapf flung out her arms. “He must not see that she looks different as the ladies in this country. So Frau Nirlanger wants she should buy here in the stores new dresses—echt Amerikanische. All new and beautiful things she would have, because she must look young, ain’t it? And perhaps her boy will remember her when he is a fine young man, if she is yet young when he grows up, you see? And too, there is the young husband. First, she gives up her old life, and her friends and her family for this man, and then she must do all things to keep him. Men, they are but children, after all,” spake the wise Frau Knapf in conclusion. “They war and cry and plead for that which they would have, and when they have won, then see! They are amused for a moment, and the new toy is thrown aside.”
“Poor, plain, vivacious, fascinating little Frau Nirlanger!” I said. “I wonder just how much of pain and heartache that little musical laugh of hers conceals?”
“Ja, that is so,” mused Frau Knapf. Her eyes look like eyes that have wept much, not? And so you will be so kind and go maybe to select the so beautiful clothes?”
“Clothes?” I repeated, remembering the original errand. “But dear lady! How, does one select clothes for a woman of forty who would not weary her husband? That is a task for a French modiste, a wizard, and a fairy godmother all rolled into one.”
“But you will do it, yes?” urged Frau Knapf.
“I’ll do it,” I agreed, a bit ruefully, “if only to see the face of the oogly husband when his bride is properly corseted and shod.”
Whereupon Frau Knapf, in a panic, remembered the unset Kuchen dough and rushed away, with her hand on her lips and her eyes big with secrecy. And I sat staring at the last typewritten page stuck in my typewriter and I found that the little letters on the white page were swimming in a dim purple haze.
CHAPTER X
A TRAGEDY OF GOWNS
From husbands in general, and from oogly German husbands in particular may Hymen defend me! Never again will I attempt to select “echt Amerikanische” clothes for a woman who must not weary her young husband. But how was I to know that the harmless little shopping expedition would resolve itself into a domestic tragedy, with Herr Nirlanger as the villain, Frau Nirlanger as the persecuted heroine, and I as—what is it in tragedy that corresponds to the innocent bystander in real life? That would be my role.
The purchasing of the clothes was a real joy. Next to buying pretty things for myself there is nothing I like better than choosing them for some one else. And when that some one else happens to be a fascinating little foreigner who coos over the silken stuffs in a delightful mixture of German and English; and especially when that
some one else must be made to look so charming that she will astonish her oogly husband, then does the selecting of those pretty things cease to be a task, and become an art.
It was to be a complete surprise to Herr Nirlanger. He was to know nothing of it until everything was finished and Frau Nirlanger, dressed in the prettiest of the pretty Amerikanisch gowns, was ready to astound him when he should come home from the office of the vast plant where he solved engineering problems.
“From my own money I buy all this,” Frau Nirlanger confided to me, with a gay little laugh of excitement, as we started out. “From Vienna it comes. Always I have given it at once to my husband, as a wife should. Yesterday it came, but I said nothing, and when my husband said to me, `Anna, did not the money come as usual to-day? It is time,’ I told a little lie—but a little one, is it not? Very amusing it was. Almost I did laugh. Na, he will not be cross when he see how his wife like the Amerikanische ladies will look. He admires very much the ladies of Amerika. Many times he has said so.
(“I’ll wager he has—the great, ugly boor!” I thought, in parenthesis.) “We’ll show him!” I said, aloud. “He won’t know you. Such a lot of beautiful clothes as we can buy with all this money. Oh, dear Frau Nirlanger, it’s going to be slathers of fun! I feel as excited about it as though it were a trousseau we were buying.”
“So it is,” she replied, a little shadow of sadness falling across the brightness of her face. “I had no proper clothes when we were married—but nothing! You know perhaps my story. In America, everyone knows everything. It is wonderful. When I ran away to marry Konrad Nirlanger I had only the dress which I wore; even that I borrowed from one of the upper servants, on a pretext, so that no one should recognize me. Ach Gott! I need not have worried. So! You see, it will be after all a trousseau.”
Why, oh, why should a woman with her graceful carriage and pretty vivacity have been cursed with such an ill-assorted lot of features! Especially when certain boorish young husbands have expressed an admiration for pink-and-white effects in femininity.
“Never mind, Mr. Husband, I’ll show yez!” I resolved as the elevator left us at the floor where waxen ladies in shining glass cases smiled amiably all the day.
There must be no violent pinks or blues. Brown was too old. She was not young enough for black. Violet was too trying. And so the gowns began to strew tables and chairs and racks, and still I shook my head, and Frau Nirlanger looked despairing, and the be-puffed and real Irish-crocheted saleswoman began to develop a baleful gleam about the eyes.
And then we found it! It was a case of love at first sight. The unimaginative would have called it gray. The thoughtless would have pronounced it pink. It was neither, and both; a soft, rosily-gray mixture of the two, like the sky that one sometimes sees at winter twilight, the pink of the sunset veiled by the gray of the snow clouds. It was of a supple, shining cloth, simple in cut, graceful in lines.
“There! We’ve found it. Let’s pray that it will not require too much altering.”
But when it had been slipped over her head we groaned at the inadequacy of her old-fashioned stays. There followed a flying visit to the department where hips were whisked out of sight in a jiffy, and where lines miraculously took the place of curves. Then came the gown once more, over the new stays this time. The effect was magical. The Irish-crocheted saleswoman and I clasped hands and fell back in attitudes of admiration. Frau Nirlanger turned this way and that before the long mirror and chattered like a pleased child. Her adjectives grew into words of six syllables. She cooed over the soft-shining stuff in little broken exclamations in French and German.
Then came a straight and simple street suit of blue cloth, a lingerie gown of white, hats, shoes and even a couple of limp satin petticoats. The day was gone before we could finish.
I bullied them into promising the pinky-gray gown for the next afternoon.
“Sooch funs!” giggled Frau Nirlanger, “and how it makes one tired. So kind you were, to take this trouble for me. Me, I could never have warred with that Fraulein who served us—so haughty she was, nicht? But it is good again pretty clothes to have. Pretty gowns I lofe—you also, not?”
“Indeed I do lofe ‘em. But my money comes to me in a yellow pay envelope, and it is spent before it reaches me, as a rule. It doesn’t leave much of a margin for general recklessness.”
A tiny sigh came from Frau Nirlanger. “There will be little to give to Konrad this time. So much money they cost, those clothes! But Konrad, he will not care when he sees the so beautiful dresses, is it not so?”
“Care!” I cried with a great deal of bravado, although a tiny inner voice spake in doubt. “Certainly not. How could he?”
Next day the boxes came, and we smuggled them into my room. The unwrapping of the tissue paper folds was a ceremony. We reveled in the very crackle of it. I had scuttled home from the office as early as decency would permit, in order to have plenty of time for the dressing. It must be quite finished before Herr Nirlanger should arrive. Frau Nirlanger had purchased three tickets for the German theater, also as a surprise, and I was to accompany the happily surprised husband and the proud little wife of the new Amerikanische clothes.
I coaxed her to let me do things to her hair. Usually she wore a stiff and ugly coiffure that could only be described as a chignon. I do not recollect ever having seen a chignon, but I know that it must look like that. I was thankful for my Irish deftness of fingers as I stepped back to view the result of my labors. The new arrangement of the hair gave her features a new softness and dignity.
We came to the lacing of the stays, with their exaggerated length. “Aber!” exclaimed Frau Nirlanger, not daring to laugh because of the strange snugness. “Ach!” and again, Aber to laugh it is! ”
We had decided the prettiest of the new gowns must do honor to the occasion. “This shade is called ashes of roses,” I explained, as I slipped it over her head.
“Ashes of roses!” she echoed. “How pretty, yes? But a little sad too, is it not so? Like rosy hopes that have been withered. Ach, what a foolish talk! So, now you will fasten it please. A real trick it is to button such a dress—so sly they are, those fastenings.”
When all the sly fastenings were secure I stood at gaze.
“Nose is shiny,” I announced, searching in a drawer for chamois and powder.
Frau Nirlanger raised an objecting hand. “But Konrad does not approve of such things. He has said so. He has—”
“You tell your Konrad that a chamois skin isn’t half as objectionable as a shiny one. Come here and let me dust this over your nose and chin, while I breathe a prayer of thanks that I have no overzealous husband near to forbid me the use of a bit of powder. There! If I sez it mesilf as shouldn’t, yez ar-r-re a credit t’ me, me darlint.”
“You are satisfied. There is not one small thing awry? Ach, how we shall laugh at Konrad’s face.”
“Satisfied! I’d kiss you if I weren’t afraid that I should muss you up. You’re not the same woman. You look like a girl! And so pretty! Now skedaddle into your own rooms, but don’t you dare to sit down for a moment. I’m going down to get Frau Knapf before your husband arrives.”
“But is there then time?” inquired Frau Nirlanger. “He should be here now.”
“I’ll bring her up in a jiffy, just for one peep. She won’t know you! Her face will be a treat! Don’t touch your hair—it’s quite perfect. And f’r Jawn’s sake! Don’t twist around to look at yourself in the back or something will burst, I know it will. I’ll be back in a minute. Now run!”
The slender, graceful figure disappeared with a gay little laugh, and I flew downstairs for Frau Knapf. She was discovered with a spoon in one hand and a spluttering saucepan in the other. I detached her from them, clasped her big, capable red hands and dragged her up the stairs, explaining as I went.
“Now don’t fuss about that supper! Let ‘em wait. You must see her before Herr Nirlanger comes home. He’s due any minute. She looks like a girl. So young! And actual
ly pretty! And her figure—divine! Funny what a difference a decent pair of corsets, and a gown, and some puffs will make, h’m?”
Frau Knapf was panting as I pulled her after me in swift eagerness. Between puffs she brought out exclamations of surprise and unbelief such as: “Unmoglich! (Puff! Puff!) Aber—wunderbar! (Puff! Puff!)
We stopped before Frau Nirlanger’s door. I struck a dramatic pose. “Prepare!” I cried grandly, and threw open the door with a bang.
Crouched against the wall at a far corner of the room was Frau Nirlanger. Her hands were clasped over her breast and her eyes were dilated as though she had been running. In the center of the room stood Konrad Nirlanger, and on his oogly face was the very oogliest look that I have ever seen on a man. He glanced at us as we stood transfixed in the doorway, and laughed a short, sneering laugh that was like a stinging blow on the cheek.
“So!” he said; and I would not have believed that men really said “So!” in that way outside of a melodrama. “So! You are in the little surprise, yes? You carry your meddling outside of your newspaper work, eh? I leave behind me an old wife in the morning and in the evening, presto! I find a young bride. Wonderful!— but wonderful!” He laughed an unmusical and mirthless laugh.
