by Amy Sumida
I knew the exact moment she remembered me and realized I’d witnessed her humiliation. The whip swished back and her rage echoed around me as she let it fly. Even prepared, I couldn’t stop my scream. Tears ran down my face and I didn’t care. I would’ve begged, I would’ve done anything she wanted, just to stop that whip from falling again but she didn’t give me a chance. She just kept wailing, kept pulling back the whip until I thought I would pass out. I hoped I would pass out.
As I weakened, I instinctively reached for strength from the earth and when the power edged up my toes, I remembered. I saw the circle in my head and the gods falling to their knees around me. Could I do it again? Could I weaken her till she couldn’t wield the whip? It was sure worth a try.
I tried to clear my head but it was hard with the pain. My back was burning and I wasn’t sure there was any flesh left on it at all. I could feel blood running down my legs in steady streams and my vest was hanging loose at my sides. Since I couldn't get away from it, I welcomed the pain. I drew it in and used it. Then I turned it around and pushed it into her as I took power away from her. I saw the circuit in my head and felt the pulsing connection between us. Her magic for my pain. Fair trade, don’t ya think?
I heard her gasp as I felt a sweet tingling begin to fill me. It was soft and tentative at first but then it started to rush into me with the greatest pleasure I’d ever felt. Wave after wave of liquid sunlight flowed up my legs, licking at me like a lover. It caressed me from the inside out, touching me everywhere, leaving me feeling more sexually aware of my body than I’d ever been.
I took a deep breath and tried to control the ecstasy but as soon as I did, it started to pull away. I heard Aphrodite choking behind me and knew I couldn’t try to control it. I had to let it in completely. I had to welcome the power, embrace it fully. So I opened my metaphysical arms to it and it flung itself back into my body. It shot through me and I screamed as I came, tremors shaking me from the tips of my fingers to the bottom of my toes. Aphrodite was not just a goddess of love, she was a goddess of sex, and it was pure sex that rode me, filled me, and consumed me. I gasped for air while it settled into my bones and took root. It was mine. I wasn’t borrowing this time, I was stealing.
I felt a moment’s guilt before a light fluttering started to tickle my toes. I’ve had butterflies in my stomach before but this was the first time I’ve had them fly throughout my whole body and roost. It started gentle and then turned wild. A mad heady rush and then back to a steady pace. It was a roller coaster ride. It was the beat of a heart, no, two hearts together. It was a rhythm of ancient drums mixed with the soft strings of a harp. It was the place where poetry is born. A wide, endless sea of emotion that would never dry up. Could in fact, quench the world's thirst and still be full. It was the greatest magic of all. The power that fed all others. The source. It lifted me to happiness so great, I cried violently when it receded, even though it was receding into me.
I saw Thor’s face, his soft smile and strong heart. I saw the greatness that love could bring from him and I saw the anguish it could cause. I shivered as the magic showed me the other side of love. The ability to destroy completely and leave only despair in its wake. I saw how Aphrodite twisted her power and made a mockery of it. She’d begun to glory more in the control that love could give her than in the love itself. Ol' Afro had slipped towards the dark side and her power was more than happy to find a new mistress.
I shuddered and began to think it was over but then came an image of Blue. I frowned and tried to push it away but how do you deny something that’s inside you, showing you only truth? It laid him bare before me, his evil nature and his good. To my surprise, there was good and I saw how it would grow under my care. I saw the man he could become with my love. I shook my head and told myself I would not be the woman who thinks she can change a man, who thinks she can make him better. I didn’t want the responsibility. I didn’t want his love.
So it showed me the anger inside him, the hatred my rejection would bring, and I cried out in regret. He was pitiful in his withdrawal into rage. I saw him gorge himself on blood and slake himself on countless women in an attempt to burn the feelings away. I moaned and begged the magic to stop. I didn’t want this, I didn’t ask for him to love me. I refused to take responsibility for his downfall.
“You did ask for this,” something spoke inside me and I knew it was the magic but not just the magic. It was blending with me, becoming me, and forcing me to be honest with it. “You drew me out and welcomed me here. You give me your life and I give you mine but you must accept what I am and what we will be together. You are responsible, for you are the source.”
“So mote it be,” I whispered my weary assent and felt a new rush fill me. Now what?
I heard the clash of swords and felt the exhilaration of riding a horse into battle. I suddenly remembered what else Aphrodite ruled: war and victory. I felt them plow into me together, like brother soldiers. They strengthened my body; tightening muscles, hardening bones, enhancing organs, and sharpening reflexes. I knew I could fight at the head of armies and lead them to victory. I could stand on the field of battle and swing my sword over and over, never tiring. I could make my enemies fall to their knees before me and beg for mercy. I could grant glory and fame to any who would follow me.
The magic was intoxicating. I finally saw why Atlanteans proclaimed themselves to be gods. It was hard not to believe it when you felt the force of that energy and knew what you were truly capable of. I had to remind myself of who I really was. Vervain Lavine, human witch, not Goddess. I may house god magic now but it didn't make me one of them. Did it?
War and Victory found their places beside the others and I felt my body convulse violently, then drop to hang limp from the shackles. I forced my head around and saw Aphrodite on the ground behind me. She was beautiful again, peaceful as she lay on the stone floor. I knew immediately that she was dead. I’d drained her of everything she had and she had simply lay down and drifted away. I reached deep and tried to feel some horror over her murder but I just couldn’t. She was going to whip me to death. I drained her and she died like Sleeping freakin’ Beauty. The bitch was lucky.
However, I was still chained to a wall, filled with a power which couldn’t help me with said chains, and bleeding from my shredded back. The magic had taken most of the pain away but it wasn’t a healing gift and my back was still in ribbons. The thought brought back the pain. Like it had just been sitting there waiting for me to acknowledge it or maybe now that Afro was dead, it had surged back to me. Whatever the case, my exhausted mind couldn’t take any more, I closed my eyes and let myself fall into the void.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Something cool and liquid was at my lips and I drank it down greedily. There was soft murmuring around me and warmth everywhere. My body tingled like a foot freshly awakened to pins and needles and I had the urge to stretch everything all at once. I opened my eyes and saw a white feather with a red tip hanging before me. I blinked, refocused, and saw it was attached to a long, silky, black braid…Teharon. I smiled.
“We have to stop meeting like this,” I croaked.
He laughed softly. Everything about him was gentle. He was the perfect healer. “Drink more of this, Vervain.”
I heard some movement over his shoulder, it sounded like running. Far away I heard a crash, then a slam, and the pound of heavy footfalls. As they neared, I heard angry male voices getting louder with them and I groaned. I was too tired to deal with more anger. Can't we all just get along?
“Tell them if they can’t control their hostility, they’re not to come in,” Teharon looked to his left as he spoke and I saw Mrs. E standing there in a white linen dress, looking like an angel. Or maybe that was just because she was holding a pitcher of water and I was still so very thirsty. She smiled at me, winked, and walked calmly away. I gulped from the cup Teharon held and he brushed back the hair from my forehead. His touch was as cool and as reviving as the water. “Easy,
Godhunter, you’ve been through a lot and it’s taken many nights to heal you. Don’t overwork yourself.”
“How many nights?” I frowned as I tried to remember, then tensed as I relived it all at once.
Teharon stroked my face and calmed me with whispered words but soon there were more faces pressing in. Thor’s was pale and anxious. He knelt beside me and took my hand, pressing it to his forehead and crying silently as he kissed it. I started to cry as well and he dove over me, wrapping his arms around me and burying his face in my neck. My back felt a little tight but there was no pain and I silently worshiped Teharon’s healing abilities.
“Are you in pain, darling?” He pulled back quickly. “Did I hurt you?”
“No,” I smiled as big as I could and looked at Teharon. “I’m racking up quite a tab with you.”
“Remember me when you release your bounty,” he winked and I felt my face go slack. He held up his hand, immediately placating. “You’re still the Godhunter, you’re still Vervain Lavine, and nothing has changed who you are. There is just more to you now.”
“You heal the spirit too, Teharon?” I reached for his hand and he squeezed mine.
“I try my best,” he gave me one last squeeze and released me to back away, ending up slightly behind the blue silk curtains at the foot of the bed.
“Then so shall I.” I smiled a little more strongly and looked back at Thor. “How did you find me?”
“When you killed Aphrodite, her wards went down and I was able to break through to you.” Thor winced as he remembered. “It was bad, darling. I didn’t think you’d live.”
“She wouldn’t have if she hadn’t taken Aphrodite’s power,” Teharon admitted.
“The fighting stopped as soon as Aphrodite took you,” Thor reclaimed my attention, “Huitzilopochtli noticed first, the son of a bitch. He just started screaming and disappeared. That's when I saw you were gone too. I thought he'd somehow taken you but Horus pointed out that he wouldn't have been upset if that were the case.” Thor looked over his shoulder and I noticed Horus standing there. Horus shrugged as if it didn't matter to him whether I lived or died but I caught the sheen of tears in his eyes and smiled.
“I went to Fenrir and asked for Trevor,” Thor continued. “He picked up Aphrodite's scent easily but then he'd known it was her all along.”
“He tried to tell me,” I patted Thor's hand. “I can't blame him for his loyalty to his family.”
“We'll talk of loyalties later,” he looked grim and I frowned but before I could ask more, he cut me off. “I couldn’t even sense where Aphrodite had taken you. She had you deep in the ground and that, combined with her wards, made you invisible to me. Trevor found the path but we still couldn't get past her wards until she was dead. As soon as they fell, we went in after you. You were horribly abused. If Aphrodite wasn't already dead, I would have killed her slowly.”
“I love you too,” I whispered and his face lost a little of its ferocity.
“Lady Hunter,” the low roll of Trevor’s voice vibrated in my ears and I looked over to see him at the foot of the bed. I don’t know why but it was strange to see him in Thor's bedroom at Bilskinir. It felt too intimate somehow and too misplaced.
“Trevor,” I smiled but something in his face made me hesitate. He had something to say but he couldn’t do it in front of others. I don’t know how I could read him so easily but it suddenly seemed natural, like a childhood friend whose every twitch I could interpret. “Baby,” I looked at Thor. “I know I just woke up but could you clear everyone out for a minute? I need to talk to Trevor.”
Thor looked at me, then the wolf, and back again. He gave me a confused nod but before he could get up, I pulled his face down and kissed him thoroughly. He smiled but his lips trembled and a relieved half laugh/half cry tumbled out of his throat. He got to his feet still holding my gaze.
“Okay, let’s give them a minute,” Thor turned and I saw for the first time that the room was full. All my god crew was there and they all gave a wink, a smile, or (in the case of Horus) a curt nod, as they left. I smiled at them, wondering how many more times I’d repeat this bedside scene with them. It was getting to be tedious, these near death injuries. When the room was empty of all but Trevor and I, I held out a hand to him and he rushed over in a blur of speed.
In a move similar to one he'd done before, he ran his face along mine. This time though, I felt his power caress me, reach through me questing, seeking to see if I was truly healed. He buried his face deep into my hair and neck, then inhaled and exhaled with a long shudder.
“I’m alright, Trevor,” I felt my body start to tremble and almost groaned.
What was with me? Had I turned into da-da-da-da… Su-u-uper Slut? Able to leap onto tall gods with a single bound, fly through feelings faster than a speeding werewolf, and save blood-thirsty Aztecs with love magic. This was ridiculous. I couldn't be feeling anything for Trevor. I loved Thor. I was lying in his bed for fuck's sake. Well maybe not right at the moment but after some rest it would definitely be for fuck's sake. Okay, that was crude. I apologize, but cut me some slack, things were getting weird.
Trevor didn’t pull away like I'd expected. He crawled up onto the bed with me and wrapped all his muscled mass tight against my side. I tried to tamp down the desire his touch brought but my new magic liked him. It liked him a whole lot. It whispered to me that he was deserving of love. He was worthy of our gift. In fact, he was already ours.
He flung a thickly muscled leg over mine and an arm around my waist.
“Um, Trevor?” My voice was shaky as I looked down at the bulge of his bare arm. He was wearing one of those tight black T-shirts again and it made me even more nervous.
“Yes?” He spoke into my neck, his breath hot against my racing pulse.
“Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?” I patted his hand on my belly in what I hoped was a sisterly fashion.
“First, I’d have you know my true name,” he whispered, his lips brushing my skin in an irritatingly sensuous way. “It’s VѐulfR.”
I felt shivers flow through me. There was magic in the word, at least for me it seemed. I had to catch my breath. “Why did you change it?”
“Trevor is easier for people,” he smiled, a movement of lips against my skin, “and I like it.”
“Okay,” I sighed in delight. “Now I know your name, thank you for sharing. Is there something else you wanna tell me?”
“You’ve heard of the Binding?”
I didn’t like this cryptic shit. “Is this something kinky, Trevor? ‘Cause I think I’ve had enough kink to last me a year and I really doubt I'll ever be able to do bondage again after that whole scene with Afro.”
He finally lifted his head to look at me and his face was filled with laughter and an overwhelming joy. I gaped at him. He was gorgeous, heart-stoppingly beautiful, when he smiled. He laughed out loud and it was a barking sort of sound that ended on a howl. I gaped some more, this time in curious fascination.
“The binding is not kinky,” he nuzzled my cheek before he went on. “It’s an old magic. As ancient as, and bound with, the Law of Three.”
“Three times three shall your casting return to thee,” I murmured, “Be it for good or ill, three times three it shall be.”
“Yes,” he nodded, “as old as that and involving the magic of three. A wolf can bind itself only once and nothing can undo the bond.”
I was getting a really bad feeling about this but I nodded anyway. “Go on.”
“A wolf must vow his life three times to his intended and each time the chosen must offer to release the wolf. He in turn must refuse to be released. Thus there are three times three vows: the offering, the release, and the refusal, each spoken thrice. On the third refusal, the wolf is bound completely, having been given every opportunity to deny the Binding, he chooses the tether instead.”
“So when I saved you?” The bad feeling was getting stronger and along with it, came a recognition of a con
nection to Trevor. Like the glow of honey-colored eyes inside my head.
“I offered you my life,” he nodded. “It was only right to give you your due. You saved me, so I vowed to try and save you.”
“And I told you we were square.” It was getting warm and harder to breath. Was this what it felt like to hyperventilate? Nurse! I needed a nurse. Stat!
“Yes,” his hand started to make playful circles on my stomach and I had to take a cleansing breath to try and chase away the butterflies that gathered beneath my skin to investigate.
“That was number one. Then later you saved me and Thor,” I remembered the night in the alley and what he’d said.
“Yes, again I offered you my life and again you gave it back to me.” He stared up at me with glowing adoration. His face was so beautiful to me then. I wanted to kiss the hard angles of his jaw and lick those soft lips. “It was almost like you knew just what to say. I accepted then that this must be our destiny.”
“And the third was when you came to give me the hint,” I couldn’t look away from his eyes. “You sent the Froekn away and offered again to protect me.”
“And again you released me,” his face was closer but I didn't remember him moving. I could see the double rows of his thick lashes and smell the musky spice of his skin. I inhaled it deep and my head seemed to fill with him, leaving me shivering and panting.
“But you said the wolf must in turn refuse to be released,” I was grasping for straws and I knew it but damn it, can’t a girl get just one straw please?
“It doesn’t have to be a spoken refusal. The desire to refuse is what matters. When he returns to his mate, his choice is clear.” His lips brushed mine and I shivered more. I could feel my chest heaving with my ragged breaths. “And I've returned.”
“Why would you bind yourself to me?” I whispered against his lips. He opened them and inhaled my words like he could taste them. Like they could sustain him.
