"Still," he laughed. "I'm glad you're here. I've missed hearing about your escapades."
"It's only been two weeks since our last date," I snickered. "And you called me at least three times between then and now."
"Like I said, I know what I want."
I grinned somewhat uncomfortably, feeling the need to tell him I didn't want anything serious once again. It was turning out to be more difficult than I thought, though. Every time I felt the moment arriving, it slipped right on past without even waving. He seemed so happy whenever we were together. I didn't want to dash his hopes against the rocks.
"So, how is work going?" I asked lamely, letting the moment pass by again.
I would tell him eventually. Maybe we would naturally part ways and I wouldn't ever have to worry about it.
"Very well," he said, nodding. "The place I took you to for the fourth sold a few days ago."
"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said it wouldn't be around long."
"Nope."
"I can't even imagine having that much money to drop on something. I hope they really like it."
"I know I did," he laughed, looking at me flirtatiously.
Blushing, I looked away from him and down to my plate of food. We were at another fancy restaurant, named something I couldn't even hardly pronounce, where the salad looked more like a full sized garden sitting in front of me.
The rest of the people around us were chatting over their own dishes and candlelit tables, the purple wallpaper wrapping us in a warm cocoon of ambiance. Silverware clinked softly together while waiters delivered their services and every delicious smell combined together into a mess of delight.
The first time Chris called, I'd told him I had to work and couldn't go out. The second time, I'd just made my deal with Evan and said no out of pure determination and drive to get back into work. When he called the third time, I knew he really wanted to go out more. If I'd told him no, he might have never called again. Besides that, I did like spending time with him. The deal with Evan was supposed to help me do that, not stop me completely.
Evan. We hadn't been out again yet, but had something scheduled for tomorrow night. He hadn't told me what it was yet, but he did say he'd been having a hard time with Steph again. She'd been calling him a lot and he needed time away. I still had no idea what had happened between them, or if he was ever even going to tell me.
"Are you okay?"
Chris's voice broke through my thoughts, startling me back to our date.
"Yeah," I said, blushing slightly. "Sorry, I was thinking about other stuff. My mind kinda went off on its own."
I smiled, picking up my fork and loading it up with the greens in front of me. Everything felt so awkward for some reason, like I was hiding some huge secret that would practically demolish the eatery once it was revealed.
“What’s bothering you?” Chris chuckled, picking up his goblet and taking a sip of the red wine inside.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean this is the first time during any of our dates that you’ve seemed detached from everything around you, like you’re stuck in your head. Tell me what’s going on so I can help.”
“It’s nothing,” I replied nervously, still not ready to bring up any future plans we might have. “I’m just thinking about, uh, auditions and classes. I need to sign up for some so I can stay in performance ready shape.”
“I imagine there are quite a few places to choose from,” he said, accepting the white lie I’d offered. “I’d like to help direct you to a good one, but I honestly have no idea.”
“That’s fine,” I laughed. “My roommate’s brother works in the theatre. I’m sure he can tell me where to go.”
“That’s right, I’d forgotten you had someone move in. What’s her name again?”
“Lizzy,” I said, smiling brightly. “She’s wonderful.”
“And her brother is an actor?”
“No,” I answered. “He’s part of the backstage crew for Wicked. He writes a little here and there as well, I’ve been told.”
“Well, good for him for getting a job that can help pay the bills.”
He took another sip of his wine, leaning back in his chair as he smoothed a hand down the front of his suit. Handsome as always, I suddenly wondered if he’d meant for the statement to sound as insulting as it did.
Brushing it off, I took another bite of my salad, wondering what would happen if I suddenly burst out that I needed to focus on me.
As if he’d read my mind, Chris sat up, setting his glass down and fiddling with the fork next to his steak laden plate.
“Mara? I need to tell you something about my past. Normally, I wouldn’t bring it up, but I’ve felt like we’re growing closer together and I don’t want to give you the wrong idea about anything.”
“Okay?” I answered, my nerves shooting into hyper drive as I waited for him to continue.
“I used to be engaged,” he said softly, eyes watching me closely as he waited for a reaction.
“Oh.”
I had no idea what to say. Of all the things he could have said, that wasn’t one of the ones I’d expected.
“What happened?” I asked lamely, trying to gauge the seriousness of the ensuing conversation.
“She died in a car accident about three years ago.”
“Oh my goodness,” I said, shocked. “I am so sorry! How awful! I . . . I don’t even know what to say. I can’t even imagine.”
“It’s okay,” he laughed quietly. “It was a long time ago and I’ve worked through it. I just wanted you to know. Clara was a pretty big part of my life, it didn’t seem fair to keep her from you anymore.”
“Oh, Chris,” I said, feeling panic strongly once again. “I don’t think I’m ready for anything that serious right now.”
“Of course not,” he grinned, his smile somehow making me feel like I was getting sucked even further in. “I wasn’t planning on proposing! I only figured that we’d been out more than most people and you should know about my past. I didn’t want to keep going and you not know.”
“That’s sweet,” I stammered, grasping at nonexistent straws in an attempt to find something to show him how unready I was to commit. “But, yeah. I’m not ready to settle down. At all.”
“I understand,” he said, picking up his knife and fork. “You’re young. You have things you want to do. Nothing has changed, other than the fact that we can go out and I don’t have to feel like I’m hiding my past from you.”
“I’m not ready to be serious,” I blurted out somewhat loudly, covering my mouth in horror as soon as the words left my lips. “Oh, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I mean, I did! I just—I’m panicking. That’s what I’m doing.”
He laughed, eyes sparkling as he looked at me. I felt at such a complete loss listening to it, like he was missing what I was trying to say entirely.
“It’s just a few dates Mara,” he chuckled. “There’s no ring in our future at the moment.”
“Right,” I said, still feeling like he wasn’t getting it. “I have to focus on work. You understand.”
“I do, and I need to do the same. We each have a career to build and ourselves to find. That’s the one thing I learned with Clara. We were so young and ready to be together, but we hadn’t discovered who we were apart. It wasn’t a bad thing because we were ready to be who we were together, but when I lost her I realized I didn’t know who I was. Over the years, I discovered myself more. You’re still doing that. Learning what you really want and what works for you. You should be doing that right now.”
I stared at him, not exactly sure what was transpiring in our conversation. I wanted to slow down, and it sounded like he agreed with that, but at the same time he made it sound like he would still be calling every week to take me out.
How did one make her intentions clear to someone who wasn’t really listening? Was I the one not listening?
He took a bite of his food and I foll
owed suit, not knowing what to say any more. It felt like we had talked about our relationship, like we’d decided to not get so caught up, but also like we hadn’t made any change in what we were already doing. If anything, I knew that dating once a week would surely lead to something more serious than I was ready for. Maybe I should just trust that he was going to let me be myself and focus on acting.
“So you basically got nowhere with him,” Evan laughed, aiming a well hit air hockey puck towards my side of the table in an attempt to make a goal.
“It was terrible,” I moaned, easily deflecting his advance. “When he dropped me off, he kissed me goodnight and it felt like he had plans to get together again really soon. In fact, I’m pretty sure he said that to me.”
“Aw, he kissed you goodnight?” he said, folding his hands over his heart and batting his eyes at me in mocking fashion. “How sweet!”
“Cut it out!” I snickered defensively. “You’re the one who offered to be my gal pal in this endeavor.”
“This is true,” he said, starting up our game again.
We’d gone out to an arcade, of all places, located by the Hudson River, the water sparkling in the glow of the city just outside. The loud building was full of kids and adults alike, each playing the various machines and attractions that filled the room. I was actually having quite a bit of fun, enjoying the way I could just relax and be myself around Evan. He seemed to be enjoying himself as well, his loud laughter frequently booming through the room as we played.
“So, how are things with Steph?” I asked, trying to distract him enough to catch up with his score.
“Ugh,” he replied, still managing to block the puck from his goal. “She’s still calling. I don’t know how to make myself clearer; I don’t want to see her anymore.”
“Is she trying to get back together?”
“Something like that,” he mumbled. “You know what, though? I don’t really want to talk about it right now.”
“That’s fine,” I said, grinning as I finally scored a point on him. “I’m about to beat you anyway.”
“Said the girl who’s five points behind,” he laughed.
We threw ourselves into the rest of the game for the next few minutes, myself extremely enjoying the break from my conflicted work and love life.
Agreeing to go out with Evan was appearing to be just what I needed as well. We’d talked about our significant others and worked through what we needed to get off our chests. Now all that was left was just having fun and keeping ourselves busy. I liked it a lot.
The game ended with Evan getting the last point, a victorious grin followed by raising his hands in the air and doing a little winning turn around. A few teenagers were waiting for the table, so we handed over the paddles and walked out onto the street, laughing over how dismally I’d played.
“So, hey I was thinking,” he said, pulling some gum out of his pocket and offering it to me. “How would you like to come see Wicked the way I see it every night?”
“What?” I practically shrieked. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” he laughed. “I thought you and Liz could both come and watch it backstage. She probably won’t appreciate it as much as you will, but you’d both have fun.”
“Yes, yes, yes!” I crowed, dancing around in excitement and earning a few strange stares from those passing by. “This is like the most exciting thing that’s happened to me since I moved here!”
“I knew you’d like the idea,” he chuckled.
“It could be so good for my career, too,” I added, trying to calm the adrenaline pumping through my system. “When were you thinking of doing it?”
“Whenever you’re ready,” he said, shrugging. “I don’t know when you have time off.”
“I will definitely let you know,” I smiled, feeling so extremely grateful for the offer. “Thank you so much for inviting me.”
“It’s not a problem,” he said, smiling warmly at me. “I’ve been thinking about having you over for a while now, before we even decided to go out actually. I knew you’d like it.”
“Like it? I’m pretty sure I’m going to love it,” I beamed, knowing I probably looked ridiculous with my huge grin.
“It’s not that exciting of a job,” he laughed. “But I’m more than happy to show you what it’s like.”
“Thank you again. I can’t wait!”
Chapter Eleven
I walked down the street, a good amount of pep to my step, the usual Broadway tunes blaring out of my earbuds and into my head. The audition I’d just left had gone extremely well by my standards. With any luck, I would be working on the stage in no time.
Grinning to myself, I soaked in the city around me, feeling once again that moving here had been the best thing that had ever happened to me. I was going for the job I’d always wanted, living with a wonderful roommate, dating a nice guy, and seeing a friend who was helping me stay focused. I couldn’t have asked for things to be any better.
“Mara?”
I turned, pulling one headphone out of my ear as I looked to see who had called out to me.
“Chris,” I beamed. “I wasn’t planning on running into you today.”
“I was showing some office space to a couple,” he chuckled. “I wouldn’t have expected to see you today either. When we were last together I got the feeling I’d run you off for a bit. I guess talking about an old fiancée can do that.”
“It wasn’t that,” I laughed. “I was just worried about work and how everything was meshing together in my life. You know what, though? I feel great today, like I was worried about nothing.”
“Sounds like a good thing.”
“It really is,” I answered. “Hey, do you have time to get a drink? Since we’re both here together anyway.”
“That would be wonderful,” he said, smiling brightly. “Let me make a phone call real quick and we can get going.”
I nodded, removing my other earbud and stowing the pair in my bag. A date with Chris was just what I needed to celebrate a wonderful day. Everything was meshing together awesomely, I couldn’t help feeling like I needed something to commemorate the occasion.
“All right,” he said as soon as he’d finished his conversation, smoothing down his suit jacket as he returned the phone to a pocket. “Let’s get that drink!”
“I love the enthusiasm,” I chuckled, falling into step with him. “Did the meeting you just had go well?”
“It did. And your audition? I’m assuming you were at once since we’re nowhere near Olive Garden.”
“Very good,” I smiled, allowing him to take my hand casually. “I’ll be able to quit my day job in no time.”
“I wouldn’t get ahead of myself,” he laughed. “Better safe than sorry, I say.”
I looked at him quizzically, smiling as I tried to decide if he was offering friendly advice or trying to shoot me down.
“If I’d quit my job,” he continued, not noticing my stare. “I would have been in big trouble when everything didn’t line up like I wanted.”
“What happened?”
“I was getting ready to start the architect program at NYU when Clara died. Everything fell apart after that. If I’d quit what I was doing just because I thought I was going to be set up with something else, I wouldn’t have had a job to help pay for anything. I could have ended up homeless and starving for all I know.”
“You never told me you were accepted into a program. Why don’t you go back now? It’s never too late to do what you want.”
“Unfortunately, it is for me,” he smirked.
We stopped at a street vendor and each got a small coffee, Chris paying the man with ease before taking my hand again.
“Do you ever get tired of drinking coffee all day?” I inquired.
“Not really. I get decaf once the morning is over, don’t you?”
“No,” I laughed. “I keep the caffeine flowing all day. I’ve had so much of it that it actually doesn’t really keep me awake any more. B
ut, old habits are hard to break I guess.”
We continued our walk along the edge of the theatre district, fingers laced together in a way that made my stomach feel warm and fuzzy. I really did like spending time with Chris. Even though I wanted to stay away from a boyfriend, it didn’t really seem like he would be that bad of one.
“How would you like to go out for dinner again, but at my place?” he asked, breaking through my thoughts. “We can enjoy the skyline, have some wine, just talk.”
“That sounds good,” I answered, grinning.
“I’m busy every night this week. How does next Monday sound?”
“I’ll make sure I’m off work,” I grinned. “I’d rather be with you anyway.”
“Aw,” he laughed. “I better make sure to pull out all the stops then.”
“Sounds good.”
My cheeks hurt from the massive smile that was stuck to my face, my heart thumping wildly as I thought about another night out with Chris. Especially one that wasn’t going to be at a fancy restaurant. Maybe we would be able to get to know each other better, on a more personal level than we would out in public.
His phone started ringing in his pocket and Chris excused himself for a moment, complete business as soon as he answered it.
“I have to get back to work,” he said, smiling. “I’m glad I ran into you, though. I’ll call you to get everything set up for Monday.”
“I look forward to it.”
He smiled at me again, wrapping his fingers around mine and pulling me up against his body. His other hand tangled into my hair as he leaned in towards me, his lips brushing mine softly as a goodbye.
“I’ll see you next week,” he said quietly, smoothing a strand of my hair as he stepped away.
“And I’ll be counting the days,” I blushed.
“Are you sure, Lizzy?”
The sound of vomiting greeted me and I sighed. She was obviously too sick to go out tonight. I felt bad leaving her, but she was insisting that I go and see the show by myself.
“I don’t know how hard it was for Evan to get permission,” she said from the other side of the bathroom door. “And you said yourself that this could be really important for your career. I’ll be fine, really. I need rest, that’s all.”
Taking Chances: A Sweet Contemporary Romance (Dreams) Page 9
