“Mara!” Chris said warmly when he saw me, stepping away from the older couple he’d been speaking with. “Are you feeling better?”
“Quite,” I said, the smile still in place. “I think I just needed to sit down for a few minutes.”
“Do you need to leave?” he asked, taking my hand.
“No, no,” I said, laughing. “I’m much better now, thank you.”
“You make sure you keep taking good care of her,” the older man said, taking the woman’s hand. “They don’t make them pretty like that very often!”
“Oh, I will, Mr. Young,” Chris laughed, pulling me to his side. “I love my Mara very much. Whatever she needs, I’m there.”
It took everything in me to not frown, or push myself away. If this was a show, I definitely didn’t want to be a part of it.
Unfortunately, the rest of the evening went the same way. Chris kept telling everyone how much he loved me—something he’d never actually said to me—and that he was so lucky to have me. By the end of the night, I’d just about had enough. As we were visiting with the potential buyers, the wife asked me what I did for a living.
“She’s an area manager for a department store chain,” Chris said smoothly.
I looked at him, unable to even express the disgust I was feeling at that moment.
“Chris, dear,” I said shortly. “I’m not feeling very well. I think I’ll go out and get some air.”
He looked at me in surprise, quickly masking his irritation as he nodded.
“Of course. I will join you shortly.”
“Excuse me,” I said to the couple before stepping past them and heading for the back door I’d been let in through.
By the time I made it outside, I was all but shaking with anger. I couldn’t believe that Chris had basically changed who I was in order to appear in a better light with his clients.
“What the hell was that?” he asked, bursting through the door and coming down the steps to me.
“I could ask you the same thing,” I fumed.
“I was working and making a good impression. You were dorking around and doing whatever you felt like!”
“Whatever!” My blood was starting to boil as I looked at him. “I did a fine job of playing your perfect little trophy girl.”
“You were late!” he yelled. “And you kept giving me that stupid look whenever I would talk to people about you. Don’t think I didn’t notice it!”
“I’m sorry!” I yelled back, feeling my defensive side bristle dangerously. “But you’ve never once told me you love me. I don’t think you should lie about your feelings for a job!”
“Oh, you do it all the time,” he scoffed. “Running around on stage, kissing other guys for your pretend job as an actress.”
“Okay, so now I can be an actress?” I demanded, folding my arms and stepping towards him.
“Don’t even complain about that,” he warned, stepping to the side and walking behind me as he loosened his tie.
“What is so bad about being an actress?”
“It’s not a real job! You’d be homeless and starving to death if it weren’t for your real job as a waitress. I’m not about to tell the premier citizens of the city that my girlfriend waits tables for a living! Though it might explain why you were late!”
“I had a once in a lifetime audition opportunity,” I replied in the calmest voice I could muster. “I couldn’t pass it up.”
“I can’t do this anymore,” he said gruffly. “I’m tired of you continually picking that stupid dream over me.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked in disbelief.
“You can’t come over because you have class. You can’t go on a date because you have an audition. You’re late to the biggest night of my life because you couldn’t pass up one stupid invite! You make me look bad because you’re upset I don’t want to share your failing pursuit with my customers!”
His voice rose with each example while he stepped towards me, stopping when he was right up in my face.
“You never acted like it bothered you that much before,” I growled defensively. “I’m pretty sure you told me several times that going after my dreams was a good thing. What happened to all that?”
“That’s what you do when you start dating someone,” he sighed angrily. “You support them, even if you think what they’re doing is stupid and never going to work.”
“So you just lied to me the whole time because you wanted me to like you?!”
“Don’t twist it around like that,” he yelled.
“That is exactly what you just said!”
“I’m done,” he thundered. “You have to choose. Me or acting.”
I looked at him, still in shock, the air around us sparking with the anger coming from the both of us.
“Me,” I snarled, not even having to think about, leaning towards him until he backed up. “I choose me! I choose the dream that I came here to pursue! I choose the classes and the auditions!”
He looked at me for a moment, uncontrolled fury on his face. Hostile silence grew between us as I waited for his response.
“You are so stupid, Mara,” he said, suddenly calm, fixing his tie as I stood there, shaking in anger. “You think you can still be an actress? Look at all of your failed auditions. No one wants you. You could have had everything you ever wanted. I would have gladly given it to you. But now all you’re going to have is a job as a waitress and a dream that will never come true.”
“At least I’ll be happy,” I shot back. “Unlike you, forever spending the rest of my life wondering what would have happened if I’d at least tried. But no, you couldn’t even do that. One little hiccup in the plan and you abandoned the whole thing! Don’t get me wrong, the death of the one you love is a terrible thing. But do you really think she would be happy with the way you gave up on everything? She would have wanted you to be happy Chris! I want you to be happy! Why is it so hard for you to accept that following your dream can do that for you?”
“Dreams are for the weak,” he hissed glaring at me. “I’ll give you one more chance to grow up and choose the right option.
That was it. I didn’t want to do this anymore. I couldn’t keep up the charade, not for someone I didn’t want to be with.
“I fell in love with another man,” I said weakly. “Someone who would never tell me that what I want is stupid. He’s the right, grown up choice. So I choose him. And me. And my dream.”
His eyes widened momentarily as he took in what I was saying. Without another word, he turned and went back to the door, never looking back at me.
“We’re done,” he said as he went through the door, slamming it behind him.
I stood there, looking at the ground for a moment longer before I ripped the necklace from my throat, screaming in frustration at the way I’d just been spoken to. I threw it to the ground, picking up my skirt, and kicking the trinket into the gutter next to me. The earrings came next, followed by the bracelet.
Angry tears fell onto my face as I ran down the side street and into the subway station on the corner. I did my best to keep it under control as I rode back to my apartment, ignoring the looks everyone was giving me. My silent battle over what he’d said to me waged in my mind.
I wish I would have punched him right in the face, and then kicked him while he was on the ground, I thought bitterly. How did I stay with that jerk for so long? Everything he ever said in support of me was a lie.
My stop came up and I got off calmly, holding myself together until I finally opened my front door and went inside.
I turned around and leaned on it, my forehead welcoming the coolness of the wood. Unable to hold it in any more, I started crying again. There were angry tears over how I’d been treated, but hurt tears mixed in as well.
What if he’s right? What if I literally just lost everything I had going for me?
“Mara?”
I turned around in shock, not knowing anyone was in the apartment with me. My heart p
ractically stopped beating when I saw who it was.
“Evan?”
Chapter Twenty-Five
“What are you doing here?” I sputtered, wiping my eyes hastily.
“I came to see Lizzy,” he said haltingly. He looked as if he might take a step forward but then decided against it. “Are you okay?”
“Like you care,” I said, hurt layered on thick in my tone.
“What are you talking about?” he asked in surprise.
“Just leave me alone,” I said bitterly, picking up my skirt and heading for the bathroom.
“Mara, no,” he said, moving to block my path. “What’s going on? What happened that’s upset you so much?”
“Chris and I had a fight,” I said shortly.
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
“No,” I cried harshly. “No, I don’t. If you can’t care enough to tell me you were leaving yourself, or to tell me goodbye, or to even talk to me at all, then you don’t get to know about this!”
I shoved past him and went into the bathroom, locking the door behind me before he could get in.
“Mara, don’t do that,” he sighed.
“Why are you even here?” I asked again. “You talk to Lizzy all the time. You know she’s at work, and then going out for the night.”
“I didn’t know that,” he said, an angry edge to his voice. “I have the week off and wanted to come see my sister. And you.”
I looked at myself in the mirror, my mascara running under my eyes a little and my hair having lost its bounce. And in that moment, I didn’t care one bit. I didn’t care that the man I loved and lost was standing on the other side of the door. I didn’t care that I’d just been screamed at by a man who spent the evening telling everyone within hearing distance that he loved me. I didn’t care that I’d had the best audition of my life hours before. I only cared that I was angry and needed some way to let it out.
I flung the door open and pushed a very surprised Evan back with my hand, bearing down on him like a bull seeing red.
“You came here to see me? You couldn’t care less about me! You’ve avoided me, ignored me, left me, hurt me—” I kept going on and on, unable to hold back all of the emotions that he’d put me through.
And he just stood there taking it, a sad look in his eyes. All I could think about was how angry I was that he still looked as good as ever in his all black clothing. I should have been kissing him and telling him how much I loved him, instead of having to put up with his lies.
“And to top it all off, you made me feel like Chris was second best,” I said, my fury growing stronger. “Chris, who I liked first and never did anything to me until tonight.”
“What?” he asked in shock, practically falling over at my last statement.
“It’s true,” I said softly, my anger suddenly deflating as it was replaced by the horrible realization of what I’d just said. “Don’t act so surprised. You made it pretty clear that you didn’t want me with him in the first place.”
“I made you . . . not want to be with him?” he asked hesitantly.
“Yes,” I said, deciding to just go with it and let everything out finally.
“You wanted me?” he asked again.
“Yes,” I said exasperated. “I wanted you before he was my boyfriend. I’ve wanted you the whole time, ever since we first started going out to distract each other. There, does that clear it up enough for you?”
He looked at me for a minute, his mouth opening and closing as he searched for what he wanted to say.
“I’m . . . sorry,” he finally said.
“Oh.” My heart felt like it had been punched. I’d half expected him to return the feelings, to kiss me like he had all those weeks ago.
I guess I was wrong.
“And all I can think about is your stupid promise,” I blubbered on. “How stupid it is and how much I want you to break it again.
“Don’t ask me to,” he said hoarsely. “Please.”
Turning slowly away from him, I sighed. My feelings crashing into everything inside of me.
“I would never sing again if you would break it,” I whispered, surprising even myself with the truthfulness of the statement.
He stepped toward me quickly, grabbing my waist and pulling me against his body. I could feel the rapid beating of his heart as he turned me around and placed my hands on his chest, leaning in, lips hovering just over mine.
“Forgive me,” he said softly.
His mouth crushed against mine as he released my hands and wrapped an arm around my waist. His other hand brushed over the neckline of my dress and onto my shoulder before entangling into my hair.
I didn’t exactly know what was happening, only that I didn’t want it to ever stop. My heart sang to be touched by him, to feel his breath mixing with my own.
I fisted my hands in his shirt, pulling him closer to me, if that was even possible. I wanted to know every part of him, to kiss his lips, and call him mine forever.
His hand left my hair and reached down, picking me up and cradling me in his embrace as he carried me across the threshold of my room. He stopped at the end of my bed, which hadn’t been made in the day’s excitement.
He set me down, his lips breaking away from mine as he looked into my eyes, a desperation in his own.
I stood on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing our lips together softly. His hands slid up from my waist, finding the zipper of my dress and slowly pulling it down.
“Mara,” he said, pulling away some.
“It’s okay, I promise,” I said, hating the uncertainty I saw on his face. “We can stop if you want to.”
His hand brushed against my face, and I leaned into it, turning to kiss his fingers. They trembled slightly, from what I didn’t know. I just wanted him to know that everything was okay.
I knew when he decided what to do because his other hand slipped inside the back of my dress, fingers brushing over my skin, playing with the edge of my bra. He kissed me, again, with renewed strength, pushing me back until I was sitting on the bed.
He released me for a second then, pulling his own shirt over his head and throwing it onto the floor.
I had never seen anything so perfect. It wasn’t just that he was fit and about to do something with me I’d never done before. It was seeing him this way and knowing that I loved him so much. I felt like I might explode from the joy of finally being with him like this again.
He put his hand on my shoulder, and I leaned back, scooting up further onto the bed until I’d left my dress to fall to the floor. I felt another thrill of excitement as he climbed on top of me, resting his body against the length of my own.
As his lips met mine once more, I laughed on the inside. How quickly I’d gone from being so hurt and angry to perfectly happy and content.
Any hesitance he’d shown before was gone as soon as his bare chest touched mine, our skin seeming to flow together, moving against each other in a way that made me want to scream. His hands held mine above my head, his lips floating over my collar bone, teeth nipping my skin. I arched my back, pressing myself against him the best I could, wanting him to go so much faster and to slow down and take his time in the same moment.
His lips attacked mine once more and my hands were released, free to wander over the planes of his body, to feel his skin and the effect it had on mine. The feeling I’d had before, of needing him to touch every inch of me, grew stronger and stronger, diving off a cliff each time he caressed me.
He nudged my legs apart, resting between them as he kissed down onto my chest, fingers feeling my own skin, discovering my body for himself. Besides the very strong physical feelings rushing through me, I could feel the happiness I’d been missing.
All I ever needed was here in Evan. I loved him, and now we were together. And in that moment, I never wanted to leave his side.
Chapter Twenty-Six
I snuggled deeper under the covers, my eyes still closed as I remembere
d the events that had transpired the night before. It was if I could still feel Evan’s lips brushing over my skin, his fingers intertwining with my own. My body prickled at the memory of his warm breath washing over me, his skin seeming to melt into my own as we laid together.
It had been more wonderful than anything I could ever imagine. Just thinking about the desire to stay in bed for the rest of forever sounded good to me. I wanted more than that, though—I wanted to have this feeling renewed every day for the rest of my life.
Opening slowly in the darkness, my eyes sought out the clock. It was only three in the morning, practically the middle of the night.
I sighed, rolling over to cuddle back into the arms of my one and only.
His side of the bed was empty.
Panic seized my chest and I bolted up, holding the blankets around my naked body.
“Evan?”
Only the frantic pounding of my heart answered.
I slid to the edge of the bed, my toes curling into the fabric of my dress, still lying where it fell. Bending at the waist, I reached my hand out, feeling for his shirt he’d let fall to the floor. It was missing, as well.
“Evan?” I called again, standing up and walking towards the door to turn on the lights.
He couldn’t have left. Why would he do that to me, after all we shared?
My fingers felt around the massive amounts of roses that had been put in my room, trying to find the lamp behind them. Finally, the lights clicked on and I turned around to look at the scene in front of me.
Evan was definitely not here. As I’d guessed, his shirt was gone from the foot of the bed, as well as his pants that had been thrown by the wall. Only my underwear was still where I’d left it.
Angry and hurt tears formed in my eyes, falling silently as I stood there, looking at the image my broken heart would forever remember. Eventually, it all became a big blurry mess.
I stumbled back towards the bed, knocking a few vases over along the way, and threw the blankets back onto the mattress.
Taking Chances: A Sweet Contemporary Romance (Dreams) Page 20
