Rebirth (Rogues Shifter Series)

by Gayle Parness

  Ethan was sprawled out in cougar form growling at me softly. He rolled over onto his back practically demanding that I rub his belly. Nope, not happening. Still his eyes were pleading with me for attention, so instead, I scratched under his chin and behind his ears and he purred loudly. Just keeping that male pride intact. I smiled at him in superior female satisfaction.

  Suddenly he leaped up and started licking my face with his rough and gooey tongue. I raced into the cabin, laughing, and headed for the shower. Bleah!

  Rob was waiting for me when I came out and suggested that I throw my dirty clothes in the washing machine by the back door. I was not excited to see that he had the blood test kit set up at the table. Sighing, I sat down, slumping in resignation. He took three vials of blood in a very professional manner, giving me a good whiff of his familiar wintergreen fragrance to relax me.

  He smiled, his dark eyes glittering with humor.“This is the real me, kid. I seem to have a gift," he joked. I noticed a small dimple on the left side of his mouth when he smiled, and his skin was smooth and perfect, not a wrinkle anywhere.

  “Why do you call me kid? You’re not much older than me.” He didn’t look a day over twenty-three.

  “Sorry, I’ll stick with Jackie. But I’m older than you think.”

  We both laughed suddenly as the sound of gentle snoring drifted in from the porch. Rob was turning into kind of a nice guy. Or maybe I was just starting to see him that way. “I guess you’ll be using that minty scent often with me. I get pissed off a lot.”

  His expression turned serious, making him look slightly older. “We didn’t know you existed at all until about three years ago when Garrett discovered you running on a deserted road alone. We’ve watched you since then and we know you haven’t had an easy life. We can all understand and relate to your anger. In fact, we’re counting on that controlled fury of yours to become useful in our future operations.”

  I frowned at him. “Are you breeding an army?” I turned away angrily and thought about being secretly observed during the last few years. I spoke quietly, my voice tight with emotion. "Maybe you should've thought about showing up earlier and saving me from—some hard times.” I stood and walked to the window, hoping he hadn't seen my eyes tear up. “I sure could have used a white knight.”

  His voice softly echoed his concern. “We work under certain restrictions dictated by our laws and for that reason, we couldn’t take you any earlier. We had to wait for certain physical markers which indicate that your change is close, like those headaches you’ve been having and the change in your scent. Those things happened within the last three weeks. We couldn’t make assumptions without that kind of strong evidence.”

  He stood and gave my arm a squeeze. “You’re smart and you're strong. You channel your anger and make it work for you in a positive way. We're going to help you through this.”

  I thought about what he’d said as I watched him label the vials and pack up his blood kit, bundling up the medical waste in a special container. “Do all the new shifters get this kind of treatment?”

  “No. Most of them grow up in shifter communities and know what they are at a young age. A few slip through the cracks like you and me. Changing for the first time outside of a community can be dangerous for the humans who witness the change and also the new shifter. Occasionally someone dies. The other supes try to remain hidden as well.”

  “Supes? Like in supernatural creatures? Jeez, this is so messed up.” I groaned and leaned my back against the wall. “Vampires? Werewolves? Really? I feel like a character in a graphic novel. I don’t want to run into any other supes, if it’s all the same to you.

  ” I stretched my arms over my head to relieve the stiffness in my back just as Ethan walked through the door having changed back into his adorable human form, sweatpants twisted and his hair a crazy mess.

  He watched me stretch for a moment and then sighed. “Time for a shower.” This time I giggled when he passed me and winked.

  Chapter Seven

  Rob gave me orange juice to drink and told me to rest up for a little while. In an hour or so he was going to give me several physical agility and endurance tests. I laid down in Ethan’s spot on the couch, and caught a whiff of eucalyptus, Ethan’s signature scent, kind of an outdoorsy spicy odor. I picked up the book that he’d been reading and read the synopses on the back cover. It was a mystery about a park ranger who works to solve a murder in one of the US national parks. Ethan was definitely a guy who liked his outdoor drama. I laughed to myself and started to read.

  The next thing I knew, Ethan was sitting on the edge of the couch poking me gently in the stomach and saying, “Wake up, Speedy. You have to get tested.” I yawned and started to stretch, thought better of it, and stood up. He'd already run out the door to the front yard and so I followed him. The rain had stopped, but the ground was still soggy.

  Rob put me through my paces all right. He timed me running, although I didn’t run as fast as I could, no reason to give everything away, and measured the distance and height of my jumps. He had me doing sit ups, pull ups and running in place for what seemed like hours. Ethan lounged on the porch grinning and laughing. I wanted to drop kick the annoying asshole over the cabin roof.

  Finally Rob pointed to the right indicating an enormous oak tree and told me to climb it. Now here’s something I may not have mentioned. I really don’t like heights. When I was around eight years old, one of the other foster kids pushed me off the top of a tall slide in the playground. I broke my wrist and never climbed up another slide. From then on, I've freaked when I was up high and too close to an edge.

  “Uh, sorry, but heights aren’t really my thing.“

  ‘You can do it; just push yourself past the fear.” He looked at me confidently.

  I shook my head. “I said that I don’t like heights…ever. How about asking me to climb it when I’m a jaguar or whatever it is I’m going to be? Maybe it won’t be frightening when I’m an animal.” I shrugged and started to turn away.

  “Your human fears will affect your abilities in animal form. You need to get over this one fast.” His voice had taken on a sterner quality and I felt beads of sweat form along my hairline. Just thinking about climbing that tree was making my throat dry up.

  “Oh, c’mon, Jackie,” Ethan chimed in pushing me toward the tree, “This is easy!” He started climbing. He was like a freaking machine, pulling himself up smoothly branch by branch, until at last he sat smugly near the top, maybe 100 feet in the air, grinning down at me.

  My eyes narrowed as I looked up at him. What an arrogant ass. He'd heard me say that I don’t like heights and he pulls this move in front of Rob. I looked up. He was actually waving at me.

  "C'mon up." If anything was going to get me up that tree, it was Ethan sitting there taunting me with his no-fear-of-heights attitude. My fear drained away as anger spilled in to take its place. I glowered and stretched my arms in evil anticipation of shoving him off of that top branch and hearing him scream as he fell.

  Up I went, all the time keeping my eyes on Ethan, passing branch by branch never looking down at the ground. Before I knew it I was sitting on the branch right next to him. But instead of making a snide comment, he patted my shoulder, smiling, and said “Wow, you can really climb fast! That was cool.”

  That remark destroyed my murder-by-pushing plan as I stared into his gleaming brown eyes in surprise, seeing only genuine admiration in his gaze. Rob called out from below, “Good work, both of you! Now you can come back to earth.” Stupid me glanced down and the world instantly flipped and spun in a nauseating tumble. I grabbed onto Ethan’s shirt for dear life and closed my eyes, shocked to hear myself whimpering a little. He put an arm around my shoulders to steady me, his other hand on a branch above us.

  My voice sounded squeaky but I was too scared to feel embarrassed. “Ohgodohgod! I can’t move. I'm gonna pass out.”I was shaking so hard I thought I'd break the branch in half. Don’t think about the branch breakin
g. The branch is sturdy. The branch will not break. We are sitting on the strongest branch ever grown on a tree. This is the freakin' super branch of all branches.

  My head was nestled against Ethan’s shoulder and I could smell his uniquely spicy scent, For some reason, it calmed me a little. He held me securely, murmuring words of encouragement into my hair. He seemed very calm, not phased at all by my fear. Still, I could've used a dose of Rob’s wintergreen tranquilizer to stop the trembling.

  Ethan continued to speak softly. “Try to relax. You’re going to get down one branch at a time exactly the same way you got up here. I’m going to help you." Placing a finger under my chin, he forced me to look at him. "You’ll have to trust me.” He spoke to me calmly but with authority, not like the goofy, flirting Ethan that I’d seen so far.

  "I can’t do this, I really can’t.” My eyes were glued shut as I dug my face back into his chest and desperately clutched at his shirt . I think I heard a seam rip, but I was way beyond caring.

  “How do you expect to get down if you don’t climb down?”

  Sweat dampened my brow and palms and my trembling hadn't subsided. I continued to cling to his shirt as I answered him, my voice sounding muffled against the material. “I don’t freakin’ know, Ethan. Maybe you can knock me out and carry me down unconscious? I definitely can’t do this the normal way."

  "Nah, you're too hard-headed." I knew he'd meant it to cheer me up, but I wasn't really in the mood to laugh. He grunted, then took a firm hold of my chin, forcing me to look him in the eye again. Our faces were only inches apart. “You will do this. You will climb down and I'll be behind you the whole time. I won't let you fall. I'll keep you safe.” He let that sink in for a minute. “Tell me you trust me.” I shook my head up and down quickly. I did trust him.

  "Say it. Out loud."

  "I trust you." The words were a shaky whisper, but he seemed to hear them.

  “Good. Face the trunk. Put one hand here next to mine and the other there on that smaller branch. I’ll be here for every step. Don’t look down at all.”

  His calm manner and reassuring voice gave me a touch of confidence, and so after a very shaky start, I was able to follow his orders all the way down to the ground with only a few tearful, frozen pauses along the way. When my feet touched the forest floor beneath the tree, I sat down hard, wrapped my arms around my knees and sobbed with relief and embarrassment.

  I looked up to see Rob glance at me with concern then pat Ethan on the back and walk back to the cabin. Ethan sat down on the ground next to me and reached out to hold my hand in support. “You really did great. If it makes you feel any better, I can’t swim. I start to panic in about three feet of water.” He looked a little embarrassed, but reached out to wipe the tears off of my cheeks with his ripped shirt.

  “I guess an island is a great place for you to be a prisoner,” I sniffled.

  He laughed. “Yep, without a boat I’m stuck here. But I don’t really feel like a prisoner and neither should you. We’re here to train and then we’re free to leave.” He brushed a stray leaf out of my hair and tried to do the same for his own.

  I looked up at him and attempted a smile. “Thank you, Ethan…”

  He interrupted me. “Rob would have caught you. But you’re welcome.” He leaned over and kissed me gently on the forehead. Then he got up and walked in the direction Rob had gone, making sure that I could see how cute his butt looked as he walked away. Back to the old Ethan, I sighed and then smiled. A few minutes later I followed his spicy scented trail back to the cabin.

  Chapter Eight

  Rob was cooking a big pot of pasta and Ethan was making a salad. To help out, I figured that I’d get the washing machine going. I wandered around the various rooms picking up everyone’s dirty clothes and towels, sorting and then starting a load of darks. My original set of ripped clothes had already been washed and dried and were folded on the dryer. I looked them over and figured that I could rip the jeans to make shorts and I could still wear the ripped tee shirt over a sports bra. It would give me an edgy look out here in the wilderness, I laughed.

  We ate dinner quietly, no one wanting to bring up what had happened unless I did. As I watched them eat, I realized that the dynamics in the room had changed. I wasn’t angry at them anymore. I was sad about my parents, but I didn’t feel the rage that had been making me lash out at them. For some weird reason, they seemed to care about me. And even stranger, I was starting to care about them, too.

  “It was my anger that got me up that tree,“ I said to no one in particular. “I was really mad at Ethan for acting so smug.”

  Ethan raised his eyebrows in pretended shock. “Smug? Moi?”

  I ignored him and asked Rob, “Is that what you meant about using my anger for a purpose?”

  “It’s not just your anger; it’s your determination and ability to focus on a task. You go after a goal without hesitation. Your strength, physically and mentally, at that moment is increased tenfold. Most shifters stay at an even balance, they’re this strong or this fast all the time, but you have these incredible spurts of power. It’s quite cool, really. I wish you could have watched yourself climbing up that tree.” Rob looked at me like a proud teacher.

  “Yeah, she’s definitely unbalanced.” Ethan laughed. I threw a roll at him and he caught it without even looking, taking a slow bite to taunt me. “Yum, thanks.” He licked his lips.

  “Does Ethan still get doses of the crazy serum? ‘Cause he seems kind of unbalanced too.” Bite me I mouthed in his direction.

  “No, he’s finished with that, now he’s here just working on his control, which occasionally is sorely lacking, “ Rob sighed and shook his head good naturedly as Ethan chomped at the air in response to my taunt. "Speaking of the serum, you’ll be getting another dose tomorrow morning so you need to get a good night’s sleep. You’ll be transitioning into your animal and that takes a lot of energy.”

  I slumped down in my chair and thought about what tomorrow would bring. I wondered what I would turn into. Certain animals were definitely more appealing than others. If I was a seagull I could fly off of this island and go home, but then I realized with a touch of sadness that there was no home for me to return to. Rob and Ethan seemed to think I was some kind of large cat. That would be cool I guess. I mean seagulls didn’t have sharp claws and I’d already shifted my hands. I was kind of hoping there were no shapeshifter giant sloths.

  I threw the load of dark laundry into the dryer and started a load of lights. “What day is it”? I asked Rob who was putting away the leftovers while Ethan did the dishes, all the while humming “Go the Distance” from Hercules. Must be a Disney movie nut.

  “Today is Tuesday,” Rob answered. Without comment, I grabbed a throw blanket, walked out the front door and sat on the wooden porch bench. It was chilly out but I wanted to think. Tomorrow I’d turn seventeen and possibly turn shifter officially. Two weeks ago when I thought about my birthday I’d imagined a cake with Justin and Maggie and a few of my friends from school, then maybe going out to a movie together. What movie had I wanted to see? I wasn’t sure any more.

  My shoulders slumped when I remembered that I was supposed to be graduating in a couple of weeks. Because I’d taken extra classes throughout high school, I was able to graduate a year early. I thought about the ceremony that I’d be missing and the typical parties afterward, most of which I wouldn't have been invited to anyway. I thought about Maggie and Jason looking at me with pride as I got my diploma. I pulled my feet up onto the bench and hugged my knees, wiping away a few tears as I quietly mourned the life I was leaving behind.

  But as the sadness played out with each salty drop, there was a stew of new feelings emerging: excitement, anticipation, fear, of course, but also hope. Throughout my life I’d balanced precariously on a wire which dangled between normal and different. If I could turn shifter and be accepted into a community of people just like me, maybe I could learn to like who I was.

  Rob sat n
ext to me on the porch bench. I hadn’t heard him come through the door.

  “Do you know who my birth parents were?” This is the question I’d wanted to ask all day, ever since he mentioned that there were shifter communities. Maybe my parents lived in one of them.

  “It will depend on what you shift into tomorrow. But even after I see you change and watch your progress, I’d only be able to speculate. "

  “Could they still be alive?”

  He hesitated. “I'm sorry, Jackie, but I don’t know. It’s probably something you should investigate on your own.”

  “What happened to you when you first changed?”

  His eyes lost their sparkle and his mouth thinned out as he remembered. “I was eighteen and living in a town in Southern Oregon with a family who had adopted me when I was an infant. I was pretty happy and looking forward to graduation and college. I had a younger sister who was also adopted as a baby. At the time she was fifteen and had gotten hooked up with a bad bunch of kids. She’d been missing for about 24 hours when I found her drunk in a rundown house. I grabbed her to take her home and this guy she was with punched me and started kicking me while I was down on the ground. His two friends joined in and I could hear my sister telling them to stop. One of them started punching and kicking her too. Suddenly my clothes were ripping and I was changing into a monster, or so I thought.

  “I had no control over my leopard. I attacked them all in front of my sister.then I ran out the door leaving her crying hysterically on the floor. There were woods nearby and I headed there. It was late and I thought that no one had seen me. I ran all night until I collapsed from exhaustion." Rob’s face paled and his hands clenched in his lap, causing his knuckles to turn white.

  “In the morning I found myself back in human form chained up. I was now a captive of a man who ran a very different kind of program than I do. He explained what being a shifter was in only the briefest terms then never explained anything again. He brought me food and water and left me in a boiling hot cell all day. He wouldn’t tell me if my sister was alright. He beat me when I complained and continuously dared me to change again. When I finally did, he shot me with tranquilizer darts and beat me repeatedly. He didn’t give a crap about training me; he was just into this whole power trip. At the full moon I found out he wasn’t a shifter, he was a werewolf who enjoyed torturing shifters. I almost died that night. After three weeks, a group of shifters confronted him and convinced him by force to allow me to go with them. I found out later that there were two others trapped in cages on the compound. They didn’t survive the beatings.”