Push and Shove

by C. L. Stone

  I started to move to Mr. Blackbourne’s chair to give him his own, but before I moved to do so, Dr. Green curled his fingers at me and then pointed to his desk. He wanted me to sit on it.

  I’d done it a lot before, but usually I was distressed or hurt. It felt a little strange to do so now when I was fine. I did as he wanted, though, putting my book bag on the floor and sitting on the desk, my feet swaying a little. “Do you have to go to the hospital now?” I asked, knowing he usually took off right after class.

  He pulled out his cell phone, checking the screen. “If there’s nothing pressing, I can sit here with you for a bit.” He sat down in his chair, rolling it toward his desk. I started to scoot off, but he dropped a palm on my knee, patting it. “Stay there. You’re fine.” He went to the computer, rolling the mouse around to light up the screen. He clicked on an email icon and then scanned the messages. “Ugh. Teacher meetings. I hate those.” He deleted the email. “Oops, didn’t get it.”

  I smiled, although I hoped he wasn’t going to get into trouble for not being at meetings.

  “Anyway,” he said, patting my knee and keeping his warm hand there. “Like I was saying before, it’s not like I’m a real teacher. I only signed up for a couple of these classes as a cover. Owen’s in administration so he’s got the office covered. If I became the teacher, I may get a few teachers on our side and talk to me about what’s going on around here.”

  “Is it working?”

  He shrugged. “It’s okay. I was still the new kid in the beginning, and since Mr. Hendricks lies to them, tells them I’m here to take their jobs or something, not a lot of them talk to me. Some do, but not the ones I was hoping to get to know.”

  “Must be hard,” I said. I hadn’t realized he’d been working, like the boys, to figure out what Mr. Hendricks was up to.

  “I’m hoping it’ll be over soon,” he said. He swung a bit in his chair. He paused, scooting closer, and hooked my legs over the arm of his chair, placing my feet in his lap. “I mean, I don’t mind finishing the year, but I’m a doctor now. Didn’t expect to be teaching classes on top of an internship.”

  “Are you still working late?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at what he was doing. I hovered my feet over his lap, not wanting my shoes to dirty his clothes.

  He hooked his fingers into my sandals and slid them off my feet, dropping them to the floor. Then his fingers started massaging the balls of my feet in small circles. He sighed, and it was like this, rubbing my feet, was more relaxing for him. “I think I’ll be working late for the rest of my life, but I’d like to at least be in one place, more or less. I think I prefer a hospital. Or a small, private practice.”

  I leaned back on my hands a little. I wanted to tell him he didn’t have to continue to massage my feet, but it felt really good, and he looked like he was relaxed and happy. I hadn’t noticed before ... did he get nervous teaching in front of other students? He’d mentioned he didn’t care to teach, but he made the sacrifice in order to help the school and his Academy team. That was admirable. “You want your own doctor’s office?” I asked.

  He nodded quietly, focusing on my feet, massaging between the toes. “A closed office,” he said. “Only clients I pick out. Relaxed hours. Some cute little nurse named Sang working beside me.” My cheeks heated at this and I wanted to comment, but he continued. “We’d only be open when one of the boys might be sick, or for someone we like. Otherwise, I think we’d keep the schedule pretty loose.”

  He was talking like the goal was to barely work at all. “So you don’t like working at the hospital?”

  “It’s fine for now,” he said. He picked up my other foot, keeping the other in his lap. He started in the middle of my foot this time, massaging and rubbing across my skin. “I’m learning a lot. I like it, but to be honest, I’ve been there all my life. I wouldn’t mind a break.”

  I thought he was teasing. “You haven’t been a doctor all your life,” I said, although the comment came out more like a question. I knew it couldn’t be true, but the way he spoke...

  He laughed, shaking his head. “Close enough.” He lifted his eyes from my foot to meet my gaze. “Did the others tell you?”

  “About what?”

  His eyes softened, as did his smile, losing the spark of humor for something much gentler. “I was found there when I was a baby.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “My mother,” he said. “My real mother. She left me at the hospital.”

  Air escaped me and my heart stopped at the same time. The room seemed to still around us. I expected him to continue but he didn’t, only looked at me, like he was checking to see if I believed him at all. I did, but it really was a surprise. “She left you?”

  He nodded, his fingers slowed against my foot, but he continued to massage. “I was left behind without a note, no clue where I’d come from. An abandoned baby left in a battered car seat.”

  I couldn’t believe it. Mr. Blackbourne had mentioned all the boys had family problems of some kind. I couldn’t have imagined. “What happened? Did they ever find her?”

  He shook his head. “There was nowhere for them to start,” he said. “She left me without a birth certificate, no clue as to who she was. I don’t even know my real name, if she gave me one at all.” The side of his mouth lifted, but just a fraction, and it didn’t reach his eyes like before. “You know, when I heard you never knew your mother either, that the thing with your stepmother had been a lie, I thought—as wrong as it sounds—destiny. Two babies left behind, and here we found each other years later. Although I don’t know for sure who got it better. You were lied to. I never got the benefit. The folks who adopted me told me right from the start.”

  I swallowed. I hadn’t been expecting this. I couldn’t imagine a little Sean Green. It could be it wasn’t even his real name, not the one his mother gave him. Abandoned as a baby, brought up by parents who told him... Would I have been happier knowing the truth early on? Was it truly better to have been lied to all this time?

  His lips tightened and he lowered his head, focusing on my feet again, although his massaging reduced to simply rubbing gently, tracing my skin. “Sorry,” he said. “Didn’t mean to... I don’t know why I started talking about it.”

  I reached out, wanting to be supportive. I didn’t want him to stop talking. I don’t know why, but in a strange way, it was comforting to hear him and I was driven to know more. “But who found you?” I asked. “You were adopted after?”

  “Found by the woman who later became my adopted mother, actually,” he said. “She worked as a translator, and she was at the hospital that day to work with doctors for foreign patients. She had gotten lost, took the wrong hallway and found me behind a trash can near a back door. She said I’d been crying, hungry. She brought me to administration, thinking some new mom put down her baby and forgot about me. Social services offered to take me in, but she wouldn’t let them take me. She held on, and she’s done so ever since. She felt I was her responsibility from then on.”

  My lips moved after he stopped, wanting to ask more, and trying to take in the story he was telling. “So you really have been at the hospital all your life?” I asked.

  “My father worked at the hospital, too,” he said. “But as a tech. I spent my childhood and every spare moment beside them, quiet while they worked.” He traced the top of my foot, and it was almost ticklish, but I held back, wanting to listen to every word. “Children are supposed to be seen, and not heard. As soon as I could go to school, I was hard at work, and when I wasn’t, I was studying at the hospital. My father believed I needed to be a doctor, so they pushed me into special summer programs. I’ve been working all my life.”

  “Is that what you wanted?” I asked.

  He sighed, sitting back a bit, taking my feet with him and holding them in his lap. “At first, I didn’t. I rebelled a little, as much as I could. I wanted to be grateful to them, but they pushed me a lot. And then I met Dr. Roberts and the rest is hist
ory.” His smile brightened then. “Good thing, too. If I hadn’t gone through with it, I never would have met Owen...” He squeezed tighter at my feet, reassuring. “Or you. That would have been tragic if I’d missed you.”

  I diverted my eyes from his gaze, feeling my cheeks heat. He slipped in those comments so easily, such a flirt. “Dr. Green...”

  “Sean.”

  “Sean,” I said, softer.

  His hands slid up, and he cuffed my ankles, gazing up at me. “Just wait, Sang,” he said. “Us two lost babies, we’re together now. Feels a little strange, right? Like you don’t really know who you are if you don’t know who your parents are? Not us. You and I will find a little bungalow on the beach for a medical practice. As soon as we get out of this place, we’ll be okay.” He grinned a little more, that teasing glint stirring. “And I guess we’ll take the kids. Owen would be lost without me.”

  I smiled, sharing a smile with him. Maybe I did understand him a bit more, now. The humor and the flirting were the mask, because he was as lost as I’d felt. He didn’t let it weigh him down, though. He seemed happy, even if he was working in places he didn’t like. He found friends, the guys. I’d felt Kota, Mr. Blackbourne and the others were right, I’d feel a connection soon enough, but with Dr. Green, I thought it was the first time I felt it was conceivable, and possibly the right thing to do.

  Did it mean I shouldn’t look at my past? I’d hesitated since I’d learned the truth. I told myself I was busy, and I was, but there were times I thought about my real mother, about the truth and what happened to her. Dr. Green was telling me we don’t need to know. Was it so easy to give up? I realized now out of all the others, Dr. Green was probably the one that understood the most what I was going through, and I never even realized until now.

  He looked like he wanted to say something else, but stopped short, reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He studied the illuminated screen. “Owen,” he said. He patted my feet, sat back and hit a button. “What now?”

  “Do you have her? Is she with you?” Mr. Blackbourne’s voice through the phone was still severe.

  “Of course she is,” Dr. Green said. “You said no gym class.”

  “I said give her an excuse and let her sit it out, not let her skip class and not tell anyone about it.”

  “She would have sat on the floor all class anyway,” Dr. Green said. He looked up at me, giving a conspiratorial wink. “She’s more comfortable here.”

  There was a long pause on the other end of the phone. “Next time, tell me when you change plans. Now get over here. If you aren’t going to the hospital, you should help me set up for this meeting. It’ll be good for you to be here.”

  Dr. Green groaned.

  “Remind the boys to come for her after class.” There was a click and the phone screen blackened.

  “Always something.” He stood up, picking up my feet gingerly and then placing them back in the chair, scooting it closer. “Stay here and play, I guess.”

  “Sorry,” I said. It was a shame. I was really enjoying talking to him.

  “Me, too,” he said. He moved close to the desk, nudging my legs over a little so he could wrap his arms around me in a hug. I enclosed my arms around his waist He stood there for a long time, his head nestled on top of mine. For a moment, it was almost like he wasn’t going to go, just stand there with me.

  I didn’t mind it, but didn’t want him to get into trouble. “Dr...”

  “Sean,” he said, and his voice vibrated through me.

  “Sean,” I said. It was still odd to be saying his first name, even if he wanted me to.

  “Much better,” he said. He tilted his head and ... pressed his face against my hair. I thought I felt his lips pucker as he did. Did he kiss me? He rubbed my back and then stepped away. “Lock the door behind me, munchkin.”

  I nodded and he went to the door. I hopped off the desk to follow him, locking myself in when he left.

  I listened to his footsteps walking away slowly. I felt the same way. We’d been together, in probably the closest moment I’d ever been with him, and now he had to leave. I didn’t want him to.

  One day, he’d said, he wanted to slow down. I hoped he would. I hoped the rest of us could do that, too.

  ♥♥♥

  At the end of school on Friday, I was with Nathan and Gabriel outside of the gym. Nathan sent a text to Kota, and we met in the main hallway. Victor and Luke joined us. We huddled next to the wall, out of the way as other students rushed for their cars to get out of school.

  Kota pointed a finger at each of us as if counting in his head. He pulled out his phone, tapping at the screen. “Who’s going where?”

  “We’re going to the football game?” I asked everyone in general. I assumed someone was going since North and Silas were playing.

  “We should go home,” Nathan said. “We need to keep an eye on Danielle and Marie and see what they are up to.”

  “It looks like they’re not doing anything,” Kota said. He turned his phone, showing us the camera image of the house. Marie and Danielle were in Marie’s room. They were sprawled out on the floor. Marie looked like she hadn’t changed since that morning, still wearing pajama pants and a T-shirt. Danielle looked the same. “They haven’t left the house. I’ve been watching them all day.”

  Nathan glared at the screen. “They didn’t go into Sang’s room?”

  “Not yet,” Kota said.

  “Someone should stay there and make sure they don’t.”

  “Not Sang.” Gabriel hooked an arm around my shoulders, pressing his side into mine until our hips met. “You need to stay out and away from stress. You and I are going to go grab another DS. We’re going to go to dinner, go to the game, and we’ll go home tonight and have fun. Maybe we’ll hang out at Kota’s or go to Victor’s. If you’re supposed to rest, we don’t want you near Danielle and whatever scheme she has going on.”

  “What about homework?” I asked.

  “Will you let Dr. Coleman take over your recovery?” He wiggled his eyebrows and tightened his arm grip around my neck. “You’ll never get off of sick leave if you don’t listen.”

  “I’m not sick,” I said. I was amused at how he was taking this whole thing very seriously. Despite what he was saying about needing to relax, it sounded like he had plans for the entire weekend doing active things. Was that how they relaxed?

  “I’m going with you,” Luke said. “The diner has enough people working tonight. Now that it’s busy, all the waitresses and other staff are vying to get in there to earn some money. It’s starting to get too crowded on the weekend. May as well tag along.”

  “I guess I have to go,” Nathan said. “Got to keep you three in line.” He glanced at Kota. “You coming with us?”

  Kota shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “If you all want a night out, someone has to babysit Mr. Morris and see who else might be following us.”

  “I have something to do downtown,” Victor said. His amused fire eyes smoldered. “Adam has a massage class tonight, and I’d like to go. I could probably get Mr. Morris to follow me out there.” His eyes met mine. “Unless someone wants me to stay.”

  He was asking me. I wanted to say yes, but I didn’t want to interfere if he wanted to do something else. I sort of hoped the other boys would tell him to skip it, but they all turned to me expectantly. I didn’t know how to answer with a simple yes or no. I didn’t want to be selfish and I didn’t want to sound like I didn’t want him with us. Besides, it was something he wanted to do and who knows when he’d get another chance? “Will you come back?” I asked instead.

  His fire eyes lit up more. “If nothing weird happens, I’ll come stay tonight.”

  Luke clamped his hands on Gabriel’s and Nathan’s shoulders. “There we go. We’ll get everyone to sleep over at Kota’s house. We’ll set up camp and play Animal Crossing, order pizza and be lazy.”

  Somehow I doubted that was going to happen. Academy guys simpl
y didn’t do lazy.

  Kota rolled his eyes just a little and half smiled. “I guess I get to babysit the neighborhood.”

  “Aw,” I said. It felt wrong that Kota thought he had to stay behind, even though it was only for a few hours.

  Kota’s smile lifted. “Someone’s got to stick nearby your house just in case Marie and Danielle have invited boys over. I won’t step in unless they start to destroy the house. And I should keep an eye on Mr. Griffin, too.”

  Nathan frowned. “Then I should stay with you.”

  Kota waved his hand. “Don’t sweat it. I’ve got things to catch up on at home before the weekend. I’d rather do it now and then get the weekend off and hang out then.” Kota dropped his bag from his shoulders and shifted his blazer off, giving it to me. “Here,” he said. “Don’t get cold at the game.”

  My heart fluttered against my ribs. I tried to hide that I was excited to be given something of his. I clutched the blazer to my body, tracing the outline of the badge on the pocket.

  Kota stared at me for a moment. He stepped forward, his eyes intent on my face. He stopped short, glancing around at the others, then at the other students and teachers lingering in the hallways. Had he thought to kiss my forehead again before he left? I guess I understood why he didn’t want to do it in front of everyone else. Not only was I still supposed to be pretending to be with Silas right now, I still wasn’t sure how the other guys felt about it. I was sorry he couldn’t.

  Victor reached out, grasped my hand, sliding his thumb across the back. He seemed to take a hesitant stance like Kota, like he wanted to do something else but stopped himself. “I’ll be back,” he said. Kota joined Victor and they headed out to the parking lot together.

  “Wait,” Nathan said. “What do we have to drive?”

  Luke pulled keys from his pocket. ”North and Silas aren’t going anywhere. Let’s take the Jeep.”

  FOLLOWED

  Our first stop was a video game store at an outlet mall not far from the school. I stood back with Nathan, while Luke and Gabriel scanned the shelves. The store was empty except for a couple of teenage clerks managing the counter and they looked bored, staring into cell phones.