‘I already know what it’s like to be trapped,’ Scarlett said, but again without the surliness Nina had become accustomed to. ‘Actually, I was thinking …’
Nina had a sinking feeling her daughter’s sudden transformation had nothing to do with her counselling and everything to do with whatever Scarlett was about to ask next. ‘Go on.’
‘Liam’s gone back to school now, so why can’t I? I know it’s going to be horrible and people will give me funny looks, but I have my exams coming up and it’s really hard trying to do everything at home with no one to talk to and no one to ask.’
Nina’s first reaction was to say no, but there would come a point sooner or later when she would have to let Scarlett out of her sight. That it should be so soon was uncomfortable, but it wasn’t as if Rob would be allowed near the school, and if Nina could be released from sentry duties, then she could return to work too. ‘It is just returning to school we’re talking about, isn’t it?’ she said, framing it as a question to give Scarlett some semblance of control over her own fate, even if it were superficial.
‘Yes, Mum. You can drop me off and pick me up, if it makes you feel better.’
Nina chose not to point out that she wouldn’t consider agreeing to it otherwise. ‘I’ll have to check with Mrs Anwar first to make sure proper arrangements are in place, but OK, I’ll speak to her on Monday.’
Scarlett took a generous handful of marshmallows and dropped them into one of the mugs before picking it up. ‘I’ll pass on the film, if you don’t mind. I’m kind of tired.’
‘OK,’ Nina said and found herself smiling at her daughter for the first time in a long time. ‘Good night, sweetheart.’
Nina was awoken in the early hours by the creak of a step as someone made their way downstairs. She had been asleep on the sofa and opened her eyes to check the soft glowing hands of the clock on the mantelpiece. It was ten past three.
Rubbing her forehead, she tried to remember if she had accidentally left the house keys on the radiator shelf in the hallway. She kept them in her handbag during the night, but Eva’s arrival had upset her usual routine of locking up, and locking in Scarlett. She couldn’t remember so she sat up and concentrated on the approaching footsteps. When the door opened a fraction, she held her breath. If it was Scarlett and she was fully dressed, Nina wasn’t sure she had the energy or the inclination to resume warfare. As her vision adjusted to the gloom, Nina locked eyes with Eva.
‘Sorry, Nina, were you asleep?’
Nina’s eyes felt heavy and gritty, but she smiled. What else would she be doing at three o’clock in the morning? ‘Don’t worry about it. What’s wrong?’
Eva edged further into the room. ‘Me and Liam have been talking,’ she said as she took a seat opposite Nina. She played nervously with her fingers, but seemed unsure what to say next.
‘Have you reached any conclusions?’
Eva nodded. ‘We could still make it work, even if Mum and Dad did disown me,’ she said, with more resignation than defiance.
‘I know they’re angry with you now,’ Nina said, ‘but whatever’s been said, they still love you.’ What Nina couldn’t say with certainty was that they would forgive her anything and stand by her no matter what. Emotions had a funny way of getting in the way of doing the right thing.
‘And I love them too, I suppose,’ Eva said. ‘I just wish they’d stop treating me like a child.’
‘Which you’re not,’ Nina said, ‘but neither are you quite an adult. I was twenty-five and married when I had Liam, and I still got it wrong. I was blinded by love when Adam and I met, but when I could see the faults in our relationship … well, I couldn’t see anything else. I’m sure we had our strengths too, but it wasn’t enough. The strain of looking after children can do that to a relationship.’
‘You don’t think I should have the baby?’
As Nina considered her answer, she thought she heard another creak on the stairs. Before her son interrupted their private chat, Nina asked, ‘What does Liam think? The only thing he’s said to me is that he wants what you want.’
‘He says the same to me.’
‘Very helpful.’
‘He takes after you. You still haven’t said what you think.’
‘Fair point,’ Nina conceded. ‘OK, if you want my opinion, I agree with pretty much everything your mum and dad have said – except perhaps the bit about me being an incompetent mother. But then again, maybe that too.’
‘You think I should keep the appointment?’
Nina thought for a moment. ‘It’s an abortion, Eva. If you do decide to go ahead with it, I’m afraid you have to think of it in those terms. The baby isn’t going to magically disappear, and I know that sounds harsh, but you’re going to have to live with this decision for the rest of your life, so get it clear in your head what you’re doing.’
‘That’s the hard bit.’
‘I know it is,’ Nina said, ‘but for what it’s worth, and to make myself perfectly clear, I think it would be the right decision for you.’
‘I do too,’ Eva said.
From the doorway, Liam added, ‘We both do.’
Scarlett
Have I told you everything? Probably not. I definitely haven’t told you that I’ve seen him again.
Oh – My – God, that was so exciting I can’t tell you. No one had a clue what I was up to but I so nearly got caught. It was the middle of the night and Mum was on guard downstairs as usual, but everyone had been in a flap with Eva turning up so Mum forgot to hide her keys. I spotted them on the shelf when I was going upstairs and I knew I had to grab my chance. I waited as long as I could, and I was about to make a run for it when I heard Eva get up and go down. Perfect, I thought. She could distract Mum.
I got to the front door and I was literally about to open it when I heard Liam coming out of his room. I nearly died! I only just managed to slip out before he caught me, either that or he did see me and wasn’t bothered. He’s got other things on his mind, I suppose. Not that he tells me, no one comes to me with their problems any more. I can’t believe Eva would go and talk to Mum instead of me.
It had stopped raining, thank God, because I had to walk for miles. He didn’t know I was coming and when I turned up at the door he was furious. Luckily, he was on his own, but he might not have been. I hadn’t thought of that.
‘No one knows I’m here,’ I said and with that he grabbed my arm and pulled me inside.
‘Do you have any idea what risks you’re taking? Scarlett, you can’t do this. We can’t do this,’ he said. He had me pinned up against the wall and his face was only inches from mine. His breath smelled really foul, like he’d been drinking, and his voice was all gravelly.
‘Did I wake you up?’
He didn’t answer. He was still angry.
When I put my cold hand on his face it made him flinch, but I wouldn’t take it away. I traced my fingers down his neck and across his chest before slipping my hand inside his dressing gown. I couldn’t believe what I was doing, but he’s always said I’m insatiable. I’m not sure I’d been convinced, not until then. God, I wanted him so badly. I’d spent two long weeks thinking I would never see him again, and I still didn’t know if this was going to be our last time, so I had to make every second count. My fingers were still cold when I slipped them inside his boxer shorts, but he didn’t flinch this time.
He kept his expression fixed as my hand warmed up and so did he. ‘You’ll put me in jail,’ he said.
‘I’m here to keep you out of jail,’ I told him. ‘Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.’
His cheek twitched and I knew he was about to smile but the next thing I knew he was kissing me and it was so hard and desperate that it made me want to cry. His hands were all over me and he was pulling at my clothes. As soon as I could draw breath, I said, ‘You do still love me, don’t you?’
‘Yes,’ he answered. His head was buried in my neck as he lifted me off my feet and I wrapped my legs around
him. ‘God, Scarlett, yes I do.’
I stayed long enough for us to make love twice, but the longer I stayed, the more chance there was of Mum finding out I’d escaped. There was still time to make our plans, though. I bet you want to know about them, don’t you? Well, I don’t think I should tell. All I’ll say is that he set me a challenge and, if I do say so myself, I think I did a good job.
29
Nina wasn’t surprised when there was another knock at the door that weekend, but as she invited her guests into the house, she couldn’t summon up a warm, welcoming smile, not even when she was handed a bottle-shaped gift bag.
‘What’s this?’ she asked.
‘It’s a peace offering,’ replied Sarah.
Nina took out the expensive bottle of red wine. ‘I’m tempted to open it now.’
‘Am I allowed to join you?’
Nina had lost count of the times the two friends had sat down with a bottle of wine and shared their troubles, but she hesitated before saying, ‘I suppose.’
Sarah turned to Charlotte, who was carrying gifts of her own, and added, ‘You can drive us back home, can’t you?’
‘I’ll stick to overdosing on chocolate with Scarlett then, shall I?’
‘Ooh, did I hear someone mention chocolate?’ Scarlett asked as she came downstairs to give their guests a far more cordial reception than her mother.
‘Why don’t you young ladies retire to Scarlett’s room while I have a chat with Nina,’ Sarah said, before following her friend into the kitchen.
‘Do you think it’ll work?’ Sarah asked after closing the door.
‘I honestly don’t know,’ Nina said as she filled two wineglasses. She handed one to Sarah, but rather than head to the living room, or take a seat at the breakfast bar, she stayed where she was, resting her back against a kitchen counter as Sarah did the same. She took a sip before adding, ‘But the signs are good. It was Scarlett’s idea to invite you over, which makes me think that she might be feeling guilty at last, if only the tiniest bit.’
‘And of course you’re taking advantage of the situation.’
‘Wouldn’t you?’ Nina challenged. ‘And it’s not like Scarlett hasn’t been curious about how Charlotte was getting on.’
Sarah smiled. ‘You won’t get an argument from me. Charlotte knows she’s here to press all the right buttons and get a reaction from Scarlett, whatever that might be.’
‘All I want is for Scarlett to see that she’s nothing special to him, that he’s not worth any of this.’
‘And Charlotte will explain all of that in no uncertain terms,’ Sarah said confidently, but then she sighed. ‘I have to admit though, I wish this hadn’t been the only reason you invited me over, Nina. I so want us to be friends again. Proper friends.’
Nina dipped her head. She wasn’t looking for an argument, but if they were ever to move on, there were things that needed saying. When she was ready, she looked Sarah straight in the eye. ‘Proper friends don’t set out to destroy someone’s marriage based on … Well, based on what, Sarah? Why did you never give Bryn a chance?’
It was Sarah’s turn to look down. ‘You suggested the other week that it was because your love life made my marriage look dull and boring.’ There was a sad smile on Sarah’s face when she straightened up. ‘I think you were closer to the truth than I’d like, and it didn’t help that I’ve dealt with more than my fair share of sharks in my time; the type who see a middle-aged woman and think a bit of flattery is all it will take to get me to pay over the odds for work. I misjudged Bryn, and I misjudged you too.’
‘Does that mean you don’t think I was having a midlife crisis?’
‘You appear to have a better grip on reality than I do,’ Sarah conceded.
‘And you’re willing to accept that Bryn is one of the good guys?’
‘Nina, I’m more than ready to accept anything you ask if it means we can get back to where we were, or at least make a start at repairing the damage. Can we?’
Taking a sip of wine, Nina considered her friend’s words. Sarah was more or less admitting she would say whatever Nina wanted to hear. It wasn’t exactly the reassurance Nina had been hoping for, but unless Bryn was willing to give them both a second chance, Sarah’s opinion of him didn’t matter anyway.
‘If you can find a way of getting Bryn to talk to me again, I might be willing to consider it.’
It wasn’t a genuine suggestion. She had simply wanted to see Sarah’s reaction and was surprised to see her friend considering the proposal.
Swirling the wine in her glass, Sarah said, ‘Personally, I would never go for the direct approach.’
‘Meaning?’
‘Bryn’s world has been smashed to smithereens and, as far as he’s concerned, you’re the one caught holding the sledgehammer. You need to show him that you’re just as capable when it comes to construction as you are demolition.’
‘And how do you propose I do that?’
‘The daughter.’
Nina’s jaw dropped. ‘Scarlett?’
‘No, the other one. Bryn’s daughter,’ Sarah replied.
‘Caryn?’
Sarah’s mouth twisted as she tried to formulate a plan. ‘I’m not saying it’ll work, but if you can get this Caryn on your side, maybe she can be your advocate. From what you’ve said, Bryn would love to rebuild his relationship with her. If you can do that, then even if he still refuses to speak to you, your conscience will be eased knowing you’ve done something positive. It would certainly ease mine.’
Nina had spent sleepless nights replaying the moment she had accused Bryn and wondering how it must feel to be on the receiving end. It wasn’t the first time he had been labelled a monster; Caryn had hurt him too, and if Nina could make things right between them … maybe Sarah had a point. ‘But how do I go about convincing Caryn?’
‘Be honest with her. Tell her what’s happened and … I don’t know,’ Sarah said. ‘If you can make her feel sorry for him – or you, for that matter – she might be persuaded to let him back into her life.’
‘I don’t know, Sarah. I could end up doing even more damage, you know, with that sledgehammer in my hand.’ The wine had warmed her up and so had Sarah. Despite her doubts, the idea was growing on her. ‘Would you come with me?’
‘I was about to suggest the same thing.’
The two friends sealed the deal by refilling their glasses while speculating on how their daughters were getting on. They didn’t have to wait long. When the two girls appeared in the kitchen after being together for less than an hour, it quickly became apparent that one of them had had a major change of heart. Unfortunately for Nina, it wasn’t Scarlett who wanted to change her police statement. It was Charlotte.
Vikki had two options: she could keep herself busy, or she could obsess about what might be happening a few miles away in Victoria Park. She chose the first and set to work cleaning the oven. There was something therapeutic about scraping away the grease and grime, but once she had sprayed a layer of toxic foam on the inside of the oven, she had time to kill. She leant against the sink with her arms folded and stared out of the window.
She hadn’t told Freya that her daddy was taking her to the park, and wondered how she would have reacted to seeing him again. Would she be too excited to show any interest in the swings and roundabouts? Or would she pick up on the tension as Rob forced himself to play their usual silly games, knowing all the while that passers-by would be giving him curious looks. There had always been plenty of people in the park who recognized Rob during their regular visits with Freya, and given his recent notoriety, his latest appearance would attract attention.
When a knock at the door roused her from her thoughts, Vikki went to one of the front windows and checked the drive. She felt only limited relief when she spied Sarah’s four-wheel drive.
‘Is this a bad time?’ Sarah asked as she took in the grease-smeared apron and the Marigolds.
‘I was in the middle of cleaning the ov
en,’ Vikki said. She was in no rush to invite Sarah inside if it meant a rerun of their last conversation.
‘I thought I’d pop by to let you know that the excavations will be starting tomorrow. I didn’t hear back from you, so I presume your mum didn’t have any objection?’
‘No, it’s fine.’
‘Good,’ Sarah said, shifting from one foot to another. ‘You might see an increase in traffic while they get all the plant and machinery on site.’
‘OK, I’ll mention it to Mum.’
Sarah glanced to her side and the spot on the drive where Elaine’s car would normally be. ‘Is she in?’
‘She was dropping Freya off with Rob and then going to see a friend for a few hours.’
At the mention of Rob’s name, Sarah raised an eyebrow but knew better than to comment. ‘Actually,’ she said as if it were an afterthought, ‘I’m glad I caught you on your own. Can I come in?’
To avoid the fumes from the oven cleaner, Vikki left her apron and Marigolds in the kitchen and took Sarah into the living room. Sitting down on the sofa, Vikki expected Sarah to take the chair opposite, but she sat down next to her.
With a flutter of panic, Vikki asked, ‘Why are you really here, Sarah?’
‘For one thing, I’d like to say I’m sorry if I overstepped the mark the other day. I put you in an impossible position and you have every right to be annoyed at me.’
From Sarah’s behaviour, Vikki had been expecting bad news and was taken aback by her kindness. She bit the inside of her mouth to keep her emotions in check and didn’t dare speak.
‘I think, subconsciously, I saw you as my replacement Charlotte,’ Sarah continued. ‘You were interested in the kind of things I’d spent years attempting to get my daughter involved in, and I suppose, somewhere along the way, I decided I could interfere in your life the way I have in hers. Unfortunately, it turns out you both have minds of your own.’
The Affair Page 28
