by Croix, J. H.
“Can’t thank you enough Nathan. Don’t know what Jordan was thinking. Thank God for you and Tess,” Michael said with a shake of his head. “Just glad their okay. You okay?”
Nathan nodded. “I’m fine. Just did what I could.”
The woman standing beside Michael reached over for his hand and held it in both of hers. “We haven’t met. I’m Celine, mother, grandmother and wife to the crew here, not in order of importance,” she said with a sidelong smile to Michael. “As Michael said, we can’t thank you enough. Jordan loves wildlife and he’s more used to deer where we live. They generally stay put if they don’t run off in the other direction. I think he just thought that’s what moose would do.”
Nathan could see where Tess got her eyes and her curls. Celine was an older version of Tess, carrying herself with grace and warmth. Her curls were shot through with streaks of silver, and her eyes twinkled with smile lines.
“Nice to meet you,” Nathan replied. “Sorry it was under these circumstances. I’ve gotten to know your family a little when we’ve been out fishing this week.”
“I’ve heard all about your and your brothers. You’ve been the best fishing guides Michael could have found. I love to fish, but I have to stay on land since I get seasick. I’m always hoping that when the rest of them head out on the water that they’re in good hands. After all I’ve heard, I know they are. Not to mention that now I know you’ll put yourself in danger to make sure my grandson is okay, you’re my favorite fishing guide,” Celine said with a soft smile. She gave Nathan’s hand another squeeze before releasing it.
Tess had stepped over to join them. Celine turned to her and tucked her hand in Tess’s elbow. “Honey, Jordan’s fine. You’re fine. That’s all that matters.”
Tess looked at her mother. “I know, Mom.” She turned to Nathan. “Thank you. You got us out of there quick.” She held his gaze, her eyes uncertain.
“Of course,” Nathan responded. “Just tried to get you two moving in the opposite direction as fast as I could. And don’t give Jordan too much grief. He’s one of many, including local Alaskans, that underestimate how fast a moose can move and think they seem more tame than they are.”
Tess nodded but didn’t say anything else—her eyes still dark, her mouth in a tight line. In the midst of her family and Travis, Nathan wished there was a way to have a moment alone with her, but he couldn’t find a chance.
Back in Travis’s truck as they headed to the harbor, Travis made a few comments about tourists and moose and then. “So you couldn’t seem to keep your eyes off Tess.”
Nathan glanced to Travis and caught a sly smile. “Don’t know what you mean,” he said, opting for evasion.
“Just noticed that you paid her a bit of attention. I know you’d have run out and grabbed anyone that ended up in that situation, but afterwards, you seemed a tad distracted by her. That’s what I mean.”
Nathan shifted in his seat and was relieved that they were just about at the harbor. He wasn’t up to questions about noticing Tess, seeing as he seemed to be more obvious than usual. He reverted to type and rolled his eyes. “You know I like women and I like to flirt. She’s cute.”
Travis chuckled. “Wouldn’t call that flirting, more like you couldn’t keep your eyes off of her. If you want to insist you were flirting, go ahead.”
Travis turned into the harbor parking lot and came to a stop behind Nathan’s truck, a bright red Toyota pickup. Nathan ignored Travis’s last comment.
“As usual, thanks for the help. Cleaning barnacles is boring stuff. You made it go twice as fast if not more,” Travis said. He seemed content to let the subject of Tess go.
“No problem,” Nathan replied as he stepped out of Travis’s truck. Closing the door, he leaned into the window. “Don’t forget to call me when you head up to dipnet next week. ”
“You got it.” With a nod, Travis drove away.
Nathan stood in the parking lot for a moment and looked around. It was late afternoon, and there was a hum of activity from the docks. No matter the time of day, the docks and harbor were busy in the summer. Restless, he walked down towards their boats. He climbed aboard Iris and did a quick check. They didn’t worry too much, but the harbor was so busy in the summer with a large transient population that came through Diamond Creek, there were occasional thefts from boats. After checking Iris and making sure the cabin was locked, he hopped on the guide boat and did the same.
Climbing back onto the dock, he paused to look out into Kachemak Bay. The bay was busy, filled with boats moving in and out of the harbor and fishing in the distance. Gulls circled overhead and eagles perched on dock pilings. Nathan took a deep breath and tried to exhale Tess out of his mind—to no avail. Much as he didn’t want to admit it, Travis was right, he hadn’t been flirting with Tess. He’d been worried about her and wanted to protect and comfort her.
Chapter 4
Tess walked down the hallway of the hotel where they were staying, Midnight Sun Lodges. The hotel sat high on the bluff by the ocean, overlooking Kachemak Bay with a clear view of the mountains and glaciers across the bay. She reached the lobby to find her mother seated in a chair looking out over the water. Tess sat down beside her.
“Amazing, isn’t it?” Tess asked with a nod towards the view when her mother turned toward her.
“It certainly is amazing. I wish we’d come here years ago. Your father’s been fantasizing about fishing in Alaska since you were a little girl and he read a story about it in one of his fishing magazines.” Celine said with a smile. She paused for a moment and reached over to place her hand on Tess’s shoulder. “You’re still worrying about what happened with Jordan and that moose. I can see it. Let it go darling. He’s just a boy and he’s fine. You’re fine.”
Tess sighed. “I know, Mom. I wasn’t worrying about that.”
Celine tiled her head and gave her a smile, her hand sliding off of Tess’s shoulder. “I know you and you were worrying.”
Tess mimicked her mother’s head tilt and widened her eyes. “Okay Mom, I’ll fess up. It was a close call,” she said with a shake of her head. What she didn’t say aloud was that she couldn’t stop thinking about how good it had felt to have Nathan rush in and protect her and Jordan. She was already deep into a crush on him, and it seemed every interaction they had only pushed her deeper. That worried her. She prided herself on being practical and sensible. Her feelings for Nathan were anything but.
Celine gave her another long glance but made no further comment. She looked back out toward the bay before turning to Tess again. “Let’s go have the ladies dinner I promised you. The boys are on their own. My guess is they’ll have pizza,” she said with a small laugh.
Tess watched her mother as she stood. Celine had the same curls she did, although they were less unruly. She had also passed on her curves to Tess, although Tess had always thought her mother carried herself more elegantly than she did. On her mother, the curves seemed sensual, rather than the ‘too much’ Tess often felt. Celine wore a jewel green lightweight sweater over jeans with a purple silk scarf draped across her shoulders. Silver hoops winked at her ears with a chunky stone necklace resting on her breastbone. Her mother somehow managed to pull off a casual polished look under almost any circumstances. Tess chalked it up to her southern upbringing. In the South, appearances mattered a lot. Her mother seemed to have mastered this without losing her sense of self in the process.
Tess had struggled to master how she carried herself. In childhood, she’d been a strong personality, a tomboy stomping through life, always trying to impress her brother and father. When adolescence and high school came upon her, social pressures of which she’d previously been oblivious were overwhelming. Her confidence leached away in increments while she shielded the feeling behind sarcasm. She’d entered college and managed to make it through as a stellar student. Good manners had been drilled into her, along with pride in her ability to do well in school. Her surface was put together while insi
de, doubt held sway. Those kernels of self-doubt bloomed after she became involved with Chad. Her doubts convinced her that his cutting comments about her appearance were accurate. She wanted to reach into that mettle and find the woman she used to think she might become, all those years ago when she’d stormed through childhood, barreling through whatever frightened her.
She’d been lost in her thoughts for a moment too long and glanced to her mother, who was patiently waiting with a smile. Tess stood quickly and brushed an errant curl out of her eyes. She held her arm out. “Let’s go. Where did you pick for us to go tonight?”
Celine slipped her hand in Tess’s elbow and gave her arm a squeeze. “The Boathouse Café. While y’all have been out fishing, I’ve visited the local galleries and shops and gotten all the suggestions. Everyone has suggested The Boathouse Café. Supposed to have a great all round menu and excellent seafood. My seasickness may keep me off the water, but it doesn’t stop me from loving good seafood. I figure we’re here for three weeks, so you and I get the first shot and then we’ll come with the boys.”
Celine drove while Tess watched the scenery along the short ride. She imagined that living here felt like living in a postcard. The views were constant, along with routine sightings of eagles, moose, ravens, and more. Where they lived in North Carolina was lovely, although far more developed. There were quiet areas to be found, but fewer and much farther between. Coastal North Carolina was fairly flat with the occasional low hill. The stark mountains in Alaska were majestic in their presence. The soft warmth of North Carolina created a mellow, moist green scent that mingled with the warm salty coastal air. Here in Alaska, the ocean air was sharp and salty with its cool gusts. The air crackled with life and contrasts.
The Boathouse Café sat just at the edge of the bluff that overlooked the bay. The café was in an updated older building. Its siding was weathered clapboard accented with bright fuchsia trim. The parking lot was filled, despite the early hour. They entered a cluster of people waiting to be seated. The restaurant had a warm feeling, simultaneously homey and modern. The kitchen grill was open and adjacent to part of the bar, which was a polished mahogany. Copper cookware hung above and mahogany shelving lined the wall behind the grill. A wide selection of wines was visible. Seating was comprised of polished wooden tables and booths with crisp white linens. A variety of rich colored curtains added a dash of vibrancy.
Although there was a line, Celine whispered to Tess that she’d made reservations. Once they made it through the crowd waiting in front, they were whisked to the only open booth that Tess could see. A young woman with a blonde ponytail introduced herself as Kate and took their drink order. Her mother loved good wine and ordered a bottle for them to share. Tess perused the menu and noticed that the seafood choices were lengthy and all fresh. Salmon, halibut and Alaskan king crab were offered in various preparations. They settled on an appetizer of mini halibut tacos with her mother opting for a crab dish and Tess going with king salmon. She loved dinners with her mother. Since she’d gone off to college in Maryland and followed a job to Greenville, North Carolina afterwards, she and her mother tried to get together for dinner every few months, taking turns for who drove to visit whom. In the months after her miscarriage and breakup with Chad, her mother had been one of her biggest supports.
Once their wine arrived, Tess poured for both of them and her mother raised her glass for a toast.
“To you, my dear girl. It’s time for you to shake the dust off after what happened with Chad. So here’s to that little wild child I raised and seeing that spark in your eyes again,” her mother said with a twinkle in her eyes.
Tess was taken aback, but she lifted her glass for a small clink. They hadn’t spoken about Chad for a while now. She should have known her mother was just waiting for a chance to bring it up again. God love her, but her mother was as nosy and opinionated as they came. This quality was aggravated by the reality that her mother was subtle and sly, so she could fool most anyone. Even though Tess knew better, she’d hoped her mother assumed she had pulled herself together. On the surface, Tess had. She just wished the part of her that had the courage to break up with Chad would shock her confidence back into her. Part of her wanted to make the toast and move on, but Celine was sharp. She’d notice Tess was avoiding.
“What makes you bring that up tonight?” Tess asked.
Her mother gave her a long look, her eyes warm and kind. “I bring it up because you act like you’ve moved on, but I know you. Even though you didn’t plan that pregnancy, you were obviously hurting when you miscarried. I had a miscarriage once too, like I told you. It’s not easy, especially without support from Chad. And even though you don’t say a word about it, you’re beating yourself up for not seeing him for who he was to begin with.”
Tess started to respond, but stopped when her mother continued.
“I raised you and your brother to give people a chance and trust in the better parts of others. That’s just what you did with Chad. The downside to that is…once in a while, it bites you. That’s how I look at what happened.”
Tears pricked Tess’s eyes. “Okay, maybe you’re right. Just wishing I had more sense about Chad sooner. And yeah, the miscarriage was hard, much harder than I could have imagined for a baby I never planned. For crying out loud, I was on birth control,” she said ruefully.
Her mother took a sip of wine while she looked around the restaurant. “I hope you don’t mind that I mentioned it. I realize we’re on vacation and it’s supposed to be all fun, but it’s been on my mind the last few days. I haven’t seen you smile in months, not the way you have since we’ve been here. I’d like to see more of that. I’d also like to see you move on in more ways than one,” she said with a wink.
Tess rolled her eyes. “Really Mom? You’re gonna go there already.” Celine just smiled wider and nodded. Tess shook her head and took a breath. “I’m working on it. The part about smiling more. No other promises.”
“Maybe you should stop working on it and just let life happen. That’s something else I know about you. You always tried so hard when you were a little girl. If you thought you needed to learn something, or do something better, you just kept at it. I love that about you, but…” Her mother tilted her head with a small smile. “You had a hard lesson to learn this time, but it doesn’t mean you need to ‘work’ on anything. Time helps a lot. Along with not beating yourself up.”
Tess took another deep breath. “You’ve been waiting to say all this to me, haven’t you?”
Celine was never one to shy away. “I was just waiting for the right time. But I’ve said my piece. Let’s enjoy dinner.”
Tess allowed herself to relax and just enjoy being where she was. The restaurant had an almost panoramic view of Kachemak Bay and the mountains across. The sun had started to set, albeit slowly. Sunsets in Alaska lasted for hours due to the proximity to the earth’s northern pole. Rays of light cast long beams across the water, mingling with subtle rose and lavender streaks. She wondered what it would be like to see the northern lights in the winter. She’d heard about them and seen photos, but found it hard to imagine that the dark night sky could be filled with color.
The appetizer of halibut tacos was sumptuous. The king salmon was unlike any salmon Tess had eaten. She thought she knew what good salmon was but realized other salmon she’d had didn’t even compare. It had been prepared in a basic way, baked over a cedar plank, flavored with a touch of lemon and garlic. Her mother became lyrical in her exclamations over the Alaskan king crab, which was served simply with butter. As Tess was laughing at her mother’s abandonment over the crab, she looked up to see Nathan walking towards their booth. Jared and Luke were just behind him. Much as Nathan looked like his brothers, all Tess noticed was him. Her breath hitched, a flush rising at the mere sight of him.
Celine followed Tess’s gaze. “Oh it’s Nathan. Such a nice man! He was so kind today. Those must be his brothers. I mean, my god, the three of them are like peas in a pod.
So handsome,” she said with a wink towards Tess.
Nathan approached their table. “Hello there. You two found one of the best places in town for dinner.”
“So nice to see you again, Nathan. These must be your brothers,” her mother said with a nod towards Jared and Luke who came to stand to one side of Nathan. “I can’t imagine who else they’d be.”
“You guessed right. This is Jared and Luke,” he said, gesturing towards each. He turned towards her mother. “And this is Celine. Tess’s and Simon’s mother, Michael’s wife and Jordan’s grandmother all in one.”
Jared and Luke politely greeted Celine and made casual conversation with them. Tess’s eyes kept straying towards Nathan. He was freshly shaved and his thick black curls were damp and less wild than when he was out on the water. He wore a blue flannel shirt over jeans. The blue brought out the blue in his eyes, which were bright enough on their own.
She wished she could find a way to have some time alone with him. She pushed back against the strong pull, annoyed with herself for tumbling deeper into this crush. She didn’t doubt that Nathan was accustomed to women fawning over him. It wasn’t Nathan’s fault that his downright handsome, sexy manner led her to shy away. While he was a far cry from Chad, they shared a magnetic charisma that drew women.
A wave of bitterness washed through Tess. Ignoring it, she called on the manners drilled into her, engaging in polite conversation. She caught a passing sharp glance from her mother, but ignored it. Within a few minutes, the hostess came to let the brothers know a booth was ready. Nathan gave her an assessing look as he turned away. After dinner, Tess guessed her mother discerned something was amiss with her, but she had the sense to let it lie for now. Tess was relieved that Nathan and his brothers had been seated on the far side of the restaurant, far enough away that she could more easily tune out the draw she felt and the disquiet it provoked.
