Was that to be the end of it, then?
She’d convinced herself to take advantage of the chance to be with him before this was over, but what now? Should she seek out the small lonely bed in the laird’s chamber and retain what little of her honour she could? Or should she live as she wished to as long as this fantasy existed and go back to her real life with enough memories to last for her whole life long?
First she must speak to Rob, but how could she admit to him that her husband found her so displeasing he could not consummate their vows? Though men would ignore much for a bit of bedplay, apparently as her father had warned her, Iain MacGregor could not. So, she had borne the shame alone until now. How could she even admit such a thing aloud to him? Would he ask?
She bade Isla farewell and left her in the care of a young servant girl for the night. Lilidh hoped Rob would permit her to return on the morrow. The guard must have be given orders, for his pace was slow as they made their way down the corridor, through the kitchens and out a different door that would have them go around the hall. Since she wanted no more interactions with Tyra, she was glad of it.
But, just before they turned to go up the stairs, she peered into the entry of the hall and saw Rob sitting at the high table with only Tyra. Symon was not to be seen. The hall was filled so there was no way he could hear her. He turned his head at just that moment and their gazes met. Even from this distance she could feel or read the desire in his for her. She shivered so much, in anticipation, in remembering, that the guard reached out to steady her.
Wrapping the shawl around her shoulders, she followed him up the stairs to wait on Rob’s return...and all that meant for them this night.
* * *
Tyra followed his gaze. Not that she needed to in order to know what he looked at—or rather, who. She knew the slut stood at the back of the hall from the way his eyes softened and stared. He’d stopped with his hand halfway to his mouth, like the village idiot unable to feed himself. He seemed to gather his wits and realise what he must look like, for he coughed and put the bread down and lifted his cup instead.
She took a deep breath and let it out, exhausted now from hours of waiting for him to punish her for disobeying his orders. Nothing could be clearer than his order that the MacLerie woman was his and no one was to touch her. Though she imagined it was like a dog marking his territory against incursion, she did not fool herself into believing that her striking the bitch was not disobeying him.
So, she prepared herself all day for the summons or the angry interruption from him. Laird Rob Matheson. She understood power—its uses and misuses. She understood that she’d overstepped the boundaries he’d set around his little bedmate. She understood after living with a father who did not allow anyone to disobey his word, or punishment would follow for that defiance.
She would hold Rob to the same standard to which she held her father and her brother—if he hit her, he’d better kill her or she would be the last one standing. Her father had laughed at her bold words, but she was here and he was under the dirt in the burial grounds next to the chapel. Her brother tended to think he was in charge and she let him think that—it was easier to control and guide him that way. The fool!
Now, it was Rob’s turn.
So, when he greeted her attendance at his table with a warm smile, chills ran down her back. The smile and soft tone worried her more than when her father would rant and rail. His gentle touch on her shoulder as he passed by her to his chair made gooseflesh rise on her skin. Dinner became a tense time as she waited for him to lash out at her.
Since every living person within Keppoch Keep knew she’d struck Lilidh MacLerie, it would stand to reason that he would retaliate in public so that all could witness. It’s what men of power did. Against her will, Tyra became skittish. Every time he lifted his hand, she braced. Each time he turned his attention to her, she waited for his harsh words and threats.
And the meal went on in peace. The conversation pleasant especially since her brother who tended to be sulky and bitter was absent.
Now, he sat there with a stupid grin on his face, watching the girl climb the steps to his chambers. She probably should feel some gratitude that the MacLerie’s
daughter was the target of his lust and she was not. As his betrothed, no one would naysay his rights to her even before the vows were spoken. Indeed, many betrothed anticipated their vows often. Her own mother was carrying her at the wedding to her father.
If he had chosen to take her to his bed in these months before their wedding, no one would have questioned him. That he instead chose to rut Lilidh
MacLerie like she was a bitch in heat was a good thing in her estimation. It made her life easier and allowed her time and caused enough distraction to him for her to put her plans in place.
So, she allowed herself a momentary victory of a sort—she’d not been reprimanded or even questioned about the incident with Lilidh this morning. Letting out her breath for the first time all day, the shock of his words and tone caught her by surprise.
‘You seem to think my orders do not apply to you, lady, but they do. Most certainly,’ he said in a low voice that did not carry past their table. He leaned in towards her, a smile on his features that was as false as the one usually on hers. ‘If you go near her, if you send someone to her, if you speak of or to her, I will get rid of you once and for all.’
Though part of her wanted to laugh as if he jested, another part of her deep inside grew alarmed by his demeanour. She waited now for the blow, more nervous than she’d ever been.
‘Do you understand my words, Tyra?’ he asked, his voice softer and more menacing than before.
Fearful that she might cry out, she could only shake her head in reply. He accepted it and leaned back in his chair.
‘Goodnight then, lady,’ he said so that all could hear. ‘Seek your bed and I wish you fair dreams.’
Tyra forced a smile on her face as she stood. She did not make the mistake of taking her gaze off him as she curtsied low and then turned to leave.
* * *
Once back in her chambers, she dismissed her maids and readied herself for bed. And she planned her next steps. Symon had almost accepted the bastard’s offer of friendship and a place at his board. The fool would accept the scraps, but she would not.
Distrust would provide a powerful weapon to keep the two apart. Tyra knew what she needed to do. Arrangements were already in place. Executing the next part of her plan would be relatively easy.
Executing, she thought. Laughing at the word, she fell asleep easily that night.
Lairig Dubh
Connor stood and watched over the yard from his favourite place high on the walls. It was the place where Jocelyn would wait for him and where they spent many pleasurable moments. Now, he remained here and reconsidered his plan—something he did not do well or often. After sending Rurik, Duncan and Jocelyn to
Keppoch to get Lilidh back, he wondered if the sins of his past were coming back to haunt him.
Obsessed would be a better word, for he had lost several nights of sleep over the last week. Part of him wondered if he’d made the right decision in forcing his foster son to disavow his love for Lilidh and leave. Part wondered if, in failing to rise to his challenge, Rob had indeed proven himself unworthy as he thought he was. And a deeper part had thought and hoped that Rob would have defied his edict and claimed Lilidh. Now, it seemed that the fates laughed at him once more as he must intervene again between Rob and Lilidh.
The one thing that truly plagued him was that Rob had done this simply to get Lilidh back. And to prove he could and would best the Beast in a contest of wills and abilities.
Was this all about Lilidh, then? Rob had not indicated any interest in her in the years since his departure. Not when matches for her hand were being considered. Not when the first talk of ending the alliance between their clans began and not even now. The demand received was gold for her safe return. No offer of marriage.
So, it would seem that Rob was not worthy of his daughter—not now, not then. Or was he?
Connor let the winds buffet him as he thought about the matter. The moon had risen high in the sky when he stepped from the shelter of the alcove and called out to one of the men below.
This was more than clan against clan—this was a personal matter between him and his foster son and one that he must deal with face to face. He gathered his commanders and made plans to go to Keppoch.
And he would take enough men to finish this once and for all.
Chapter Sixteen
Lilidh glanced at the door for the hundredth time since her return. Nervousness raced in her veins as she waited for Rob’s arrival. How would he confront her about her virginity? Would they be lovers again this night?
From his words, she knew that decision was up to her.
And from the way her body felt right now—arousal and excitement pulsing through her, a slow and easy throbbing in all the places he’d touched last night—she wanted him again.
More than before.
Her perceptions about what could exist between them had been based on her naïve knowledge and hearing of tales, but now her body understood the call of this intimate experience. And the promise of more.
Shaking herself free of the ever-increasing longing within her, Lilidh decided to take a look at another document for clues about how things went so badly between her father and Rob’s. After discovering where the servants had moved things to in this much-larger chamber, she settled at the table and began reading some of the older documents—letters between their fathers.
Thinking back to what had happened, Lilidh tried to piece the events together and compare them to the letters. Nothing explicit in the letters explained the circumstances—Rob’s request for her hand or his shaming disavowal of their love—but those kinds of details would not be for these letters, which could and would be read by others. Many nobles and chiefs and lairds did not read, so their communications were read to them by clerks or others.
Still, even the gradual increase in hostility in these letters did not feel right to her. Rob said his youthful stupidity was to blame for his actions. If that was true, why did her father refer to other matters between them in sending Rob back to his father? Why did Rob’s father not question it?
Digging deeper into the box, she discovered a small parchment, folded and undisturbed. Tucked inside another as it was, she almost missed it. Opening it—the seal had already been broken—Lilidh discovered that it was addressed to Rob, not the laird.
And it was from her mother!
Why had her mother contacted Rob? From the date, she realised it was not long ago. Just before her betrothal to Iain MacGregor was finalised. Reading on, Lilidh felt her mouth drop open at its content.
One sentence long—My husband is about to formally accept Iain MacGregor’s suit for Lilidh’s hand in marriage.
Nothing else but her mother’s signature, written in her own hand, which Lilidh recognised.
Lilidh leaned back against the chair and considered the significance of this missive. Although no opinion was given, it was clear that her mother was questioning the match. Why else send something like this? And that she let Rob know of it after four years’ separation and an ugly ending was stranger still.
Her heart sank as she also realised that Rob had known about her coming marriage and done nothing. Her mother had given him an opportunity to address the situation—matured and past his youthful stupidity, as he’d called it—and he had chosen to do nothing about it.
Laying it aside for now, she continued to look through the other letters there, hoping for some explanation. Certainly these were only one half of the story—her father’s replies and opinions—and she had no way of knowing what Laird Matheson had written or written back...
After reading several of them, all she knew was that something more had happened between Rob and her father to cause this breach. His father clearly stood behind him, illegitimate or not, but he viewed this as a personal matter and not one to bring their clan loyalties into play.
So, how and why had it led to the clans breaking their alliance?
The footsteps coming down the corridor and the sound of his deep voice speaking to the guards ended all thought about letters and contracts, though she was able to slip the letter from her mother into her gown before losing the ability to think completely. For each second that passed before the latch lifted, her body readied for him. If she thought what had happened between them would be once for memory’s sake, she knew now she was wrong.
She wanted him for as long as she could have him.
Even as his prisoner.
Even with no promises past this time together.
No matter the outcome—she wanted him.
Lilidh stood as Rob pushed open the door; the hairs on the back of her neck tingled as did her breasts as she watched him enter. Her breath caught as their eyes met and he smiled at her.
‘Good evening, Lilidh,’ he said, as he closed the door behind him. ‘How do you fare?’
‘You sent someone to look for Isla that day?’ He took a step closer and her breath stopped.
‘Aye. I hoped Symon had not...’ He paused then and gave her a strange look. ‘Are you well?’ Another step closer and her body ached.
‘Well?’ Her thoughts scattered as her mind filled with memories of his mouth, his hands, his...
‘I did not know last night. I did not have a care for...your innocence.’ He stood only one more pace away from her now.
Then his words sank through the haze of arousal and she understood what he was asking her.
‘I am well,’ she said. ‘Very well.’
He crossed that last step and took her in his arms. His mouth possessed hers as she’d hoped he would and she lost herself in the sensations of being held by him, surrounded by his strength, his heat, his desire. Only the crinkling sound of the letter tucked inside her gown as they embraced broke into the anticipation. Rob released her as he heard it, too.
‘What is that?’ he asked, watching as she withdrew it from her gown. ‘You found something?’
She wished she’d never seen it. In spite of her body’s immediate reaction to him, she wished she could have remained blissfully ignorant of her mother’s attempt and Rob’s lack of action. Lilidh held it out to him and he took it.
Rob unfolded the parchment and was surprised to find his name at the beginning of it. Short—only one sentence—it took him no time to read it. The signature surprised him even more.
‘What is this?’ he asked, disappointed that she’d backed away from him as he’d read it. ‘Where did you find it?’ He’d never seen it before, yet it seemed to have been written months ago.
‘In the box,’ she said, pointing at it. ‘It was wrapped in another letter.’
‘I have never seen this before, Lilidh,’ he explained, handing it back to her. ‘I give you my word.’
He could see her trying to decide if she should believe him or not. Again, noises in the corridor, whether the guards were leaving or others arriving, he knew not. Either one was unacceptable since the walls were not a barrier to words spoken.
‘Will you walk with me?’ he asked her.
They could speak freely on the battlements. He could read nothing on her face, but at her nod, he found her cloak and put it around her. Lifting the latch and nodding at the guards, he escorted her up the stairs, moving slowly and allowing her time to climb at her own pace. In what seemed now to be their custom, they silently walked the perimeter before stopping before the ruined tower.
But now, when there were so many matters to discuss, he waited on her.
‘Had my mother written to you before?’ she asked, her gaze intent on his face as she waited for his answer. He gave her the truth.
‘Never. And I never received that letter.’
‘It was in your father’s documents, in a small package filled with other personal letters from my father.’
/> He shook his head. He’d never seen it until she just handed it to him. So, his father kept it from him. Did he think Rob would do something to interfere with the marriage? The letter was dated months—nigh to a year—ago, but just as things began to fall apart between the Mathesons and the MacLeries. A precipitous time for both the clan and for his father.
‘Why would your mother send something like that? And send it to me?’
‘I know not,’ she said with a shrug. ‘We never spoke of you after—after you left. Oh, once when the idea of a match to Iain was raised, she asked if things were truly irreconcilable between us.’
‘Did she oppose the match?’ he asked, walking around her. He did not like her exposed to the winds or possible dangers here on the battlements now.
‘No. She spoke in favour of it after meeting Iain. He was older, but was a kind man to me.’
Hearing her speak of her husband, dead or not, twisted his gut. It mattered not that the man had not claimed her—he’d married her, something Rob had not done and could not do. ‘So, my father kept this from me?’
‘If you never received it, then I think that’s the only plausible explanation.’
She smiled then and he felt a great weight lifted off him in that moment. Though the existence of this letter troubled him for other reasons, she could not give him the answers he needed about it.
Lilidh began to walk then, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her back, into his arms. They had something else to discuss before returning to his chambers. Something that would tell him about what she was thinking when it came to what had already happened between them and if anything further would.
But first he pushed the hood of the cloak back and tangled his hands in her glorious hair. Easing her towards him, he tilted down and touched his mouth to hers. She sighed at the contact and he breathed it in. Her lips opened to him and he sought to possess her mouth. She was ravenous in returning the kisses, giving as good as she got, until they broke away, breathless and panting.
Terri Brisbin Highlander Bundle Page 34
