Her gray eyes widened, and she shifted her eyes to Millie. “I will do my best, Your Grace.”
Leaning forward until his elbows rested on his knees brought Preston within inches of Millicent. He could lean a bit further and kiss those berry lips. Would his kisses wipe Merrifield from her mind and heart? “I cannot pretend to know in what way Gordon Merrifield offended you, but I am sorry his presence has caused you pain.”
Studying her gloved hands, she plucked at the seams. “I am not in pain.” The edge in her voice told a different story.
“Is it possible for us to agree never to lie to each other? Are we good enough friends for that?” He wanted to be her friend. He liked her more than he’d liked anyone in a long time.
Looking up, her eyes were clear but strained. “Gordon asked me to marry him. He had not asked my uncle yet. He asked me to keep our agreement secret until he could show my uncle he was a man worthy of me.” Her jaw ticked, and she had fisted her hands.
When it became clear that she would not continue, Preston said, “Since you did not marry, I can assume Merrifield is no gentleman, and you can be assured he is not worthy of your love.”
Her bottom lip quivered for an instant before she shifted her position and stared out the window.
Giving her some space, he leaned back.
Mrs. Whimple dashed away a tear.
More was going on here than he understood. Time was what he needed. She didn’t trust him, and why should she? They didn’t know each other well. Trust took time. He would have to offer trust in return if he wanted more from her.
The carriage stopped, and they trooped into his townhouse. Without stopping, Millicent strode into the study, dropped her satchel on the floor and sat at the chessboard.
He sat across from her. If he could shake loose all her secrets, he would try it, but perhaps a gentler approach. “What did you learn about Lady Beatrix and Miss Tatham?”
She moved her bishop to c4 and said, “Miss Tatham and I had a chat. She was polite and friendly. I did not discern any attempt to mask character flaws with humor. Perhaps she was just nervous when you danced with her.”
“You may be right.” He moved his remaining knight out. “What of Lady Beatrix?”
Sliding her other bishop across the board until it threatened his knight, she shrugged. “Bea was a bit of a surprise, and I find myself unsure if I should tell you what I discovered.”
“Why, did she tell you a secret?” His interest piqued, he studied her stiff posture and balled fists.
An inner struggle warred behind those azure eyes. “I went and had tea with her yesterday. She is as she seems, and I’ve known her for years.”
“Then what is your hesitation?”
She got up and circled the room. “The conversation turned to love, and her response was most surprising.”
Now Preston was intrigued. It was not possible for Beatrix Jacoby to think herself in love with him after one dance. At least he hoped it wasn’t. “What surprised you?”
Millie stopped at the other side of the study with her back to the door. She could not have found a place within the room farther away from him. “She doesn’t believe in it.”
“In love, you mean?”
“Yes. Bea thinks the entire idea ridiculous. She believes that most men take mistresses and therefore to allow herself to become romantically invested is foolish.” Her left hand clutched the door handle as if she might try to run at any moment.
“I see.” What else could he say?
Taking a step closer, she asked, “Shall I remove her from our list?”
He almost laughed but thought better of it. “Why would you do that?”
Another step closer. “I assumed you would want a wife who might love you. Perhaps I am mistaken. I would not presume to color your wants and needs with erroneous notions.”
It was getting uncomfortably warm in his study. He got up and opened the window leading out to a side garden with a high ivy-covered wall. When they started talking about the women on Millicent’s list, he never thought it would turn in the direction of love. As a subject of light conversation, it was his least favorite. However, if he wanted her to trust him, perhaps honesty on his part would be wise. “I am not opposed to finding a great love, but I hardly expect it. One does not expect to find love when one hires a matchmaker to ensure a match that will not embarrass.”
She approached the window. “Then you do not want me to remove Lady Beatrix from the list?”
“I don’t see why you would. She seems quite realistic. Most marriages in the ton are not born out of love.” It was hard to concentrate when she stood so close and smelled of springtime.
She turned away and picked up her satchel. “May I use your desk?”
“Of course.”
At his desk she uncapped the ink, removed a paper from her bag and jotted a note. Maybe she was writing that he was an unfeeling lout or maybe that love was not important to the client. Her expression was unreadable. Once she finished, she stared down at the paper.
“Have I disappointed you in some way, Millicent?” His heart lodged in his throat.
She cocked her head. “I have no opinion. I’m just the Everton Lady hired to find you a wife. It is important to know what you are looking for.”
Her businesslike tone made him want to scream. “I am not opposed to love, Millicent.”
“No, but it isn’t important either. Did you love either of the women you asked to marry you?” She put her paper back in her satchel and closed it before rounding the desk and sitting on the couch next to Mrs. Whimple.
They both stared at him expectantly.
“I was very fond of Elinor and thought it might grow to love after a time.”
“And Lady Scarlett?” She raised her eyebrow and waited.
“No. I thought she would suit, and my mother’s pressure to marry forced my hand. I should have waited and gotten to know her better. Perhaps then, I would not have been embarrassed in front of all of London.” If leaving these two women was possible, he would have fled. However, that wouldn’t get him what he wanted, and since the conversation had turned in this strange direction, it was unlikely he would find out Millicent’s secrets anyway.
“Then perhaps Lady Beatrix is just the woman for you. She is not interested in love, you can find a mistress or continue with your current one, you will both be discreet, and everyone is content.” Her voice had grown bitter and tight.
It took all of his restraint to keep his temper in check. “Ladies, I think we should go for a walk in the garden. It is getting quite stuffy in here.” Without waiting for their reply, he opened the secret door and walked out.
The sun made long shadows in the garden, and Preston took deep breaths to cool his temper. He always considered himself a man of mild temperament, but Millicent Edgebrook had nearly sent him into a tirade.
“I have offended you. I apologize.” Millie’s voice was soft, and she touched his arm.
Mrs. Whimple kept her distance, finding a low bench under an oak tree.
Turning toward her, his fury fled. “It is not your fault really. Men do take mistresses, and you hardly know me. I do not currently have a mistress, and once I married, I would never take one. In fact, since I decided it was time for me to be married, I have not entertained a mistress.”
“I am not your conscience, Preston. You don’t need to tell me any of this. What you do is none of my business.” Her throat bobbed as she swallowed.
“Why did seeing Merrifield upset you so much? I find it hard to believe you ever loved that bore.” He stepped forward until she was only inches away.
She backed up a step. Her eyebrows drew down to form a crease between her eyes. “This is not relevant or appropriate.”
“You did love him.” The realization shot an arrow into Preston’s heart. “Do you love
him still?”
“I need to go home.”
Preston grabbed her arm before she could move away. “I’m sorry. Perhaps when you know me better, you will tell me. I would like for you to tell me, Millicent. I would like to know you better.”
“Gordon Merrifield is in the past. I had not seen him in years and was caught off guard. It was foolish to think I would never run into him again. My preparation in the future will be better. Please forgive me for my childish behavior.”
He was at a loss for how to draw her out. Perhaps it was best to follow her lead and keep their relationship all business until they knew each other better. “There is nothing to forgive. I have no doubt of your competence, Everton Lady.”
“Thank you.” Her rigid stance relaxed.
He plucked a yellowing leaf from the low-hanging limb. “So, now what? We have three women on your list. How do we proceed?”
It was worth changing the subject for a glimpse of her smile. “I was thinking you should throw a dinner party. It would give you a chance to get to know the ladies better. Of course, you’ll have to invite enough men so that it doesn’t seem as if you’ve staged an inquisition.”
“Will you come?”
“If you wish.” She blushed the most delightful pink.
His fingers ached to find out if her cheek was as warm as it looked. “Then I will throw a dinner party next week. If you want to come by on Monday, we can go over the guest list.”
A bird landed on the branch and sang a complaint.
Millie laughed. “I’m happy to help, though I’m not the best judge of friends of your ilk.”
Shaking his head, he said, “You place too much importance on the ton and its idea of status, Millicent. I hope to change this.”
“You intend to change me, Your Grace?” That pretty brow rose over one eye again.
He stopped in front of her and stared into her eyes. “It is the only thing I would ever change about you.”
Chapter 7
Millie sat in the small parlor at Everton House going over her notes, and Preston’s words played over and over in her head. It is the only thing I would ever change about you. Had he put an emphasis on ever or had that been her imagination? Men always wanted to change women. One of the many reasons she was glad things didn’t work out with Gordon. Surely, he would have tried to shape her to suit him, and when he couldn’t, he would have made her life miserable. Besides, it was only after his departure from her life that she realized she wanted to do other things.
“Am I intruding?” Lady Jane asked from the doorway.
Shaking off her private thoughts, she plastered a smile on her face. “Not at all, my lady.”
“How are you progressing with His Grace?” Jane Everton was not one to mince words. She strode in and sat across from Millie.
With a last look at her notes, she shrugged. “I think it is progressing well. We have found three women who could potentially be the next Duchess of Middleton, and I have suggested His Grace throw a dinner party to get to know them better.”
Jane nodded. “It might not be enough time with each woman in just one evening. Should more discovery be required, I suggest a house party in the country. A few weeks in close company is a good way to learn if one’s habits are beyond incidental.”
The idea of spending two weeks in the country with Preston sent her stomach into fits. He made her feel things that she shouldn’t. Those feelings would not get her the life she wanted. If she did her job well, Preston would be married within a year and she would be traveling the world in two or three. She would not let a whimsical idea dislodge her dreams or influence her plans for the future. “A fine idea. Thank you, my lady.”
Mrs. Grimsby cleared her throat. “Miss Edgebrook, your uncle is here to see you.”
“How strange.” Millie stood. Surprise could not begin to describe her emotions at having her uncle come to Everton House. He rarely left his experiments.
Adjusting her cap, Mrs. Grimsby shifted from foot to foot. “He seems a bit out of sorts, miss.”
Jane stood as well and said, “Do not leave, Miss Edgebrook. Your uncle can join you here. Let me know if you need anything.”
“Thank you, Lady Jane. Show him in, Mrs. Grimsby.”
A moment later, Uncle Francis bumbled into the room gripping his hat in both hands. His jacket and eyebrows appeared singed. With downcast eyes, he looked lost and sad. “Millie, it is good to see you.”
“I’ll fetch you some tea, miss.” Leaving them to talk, Mrs. Grimsby closed the door behind her.
“Are you all right, Uncle Francis?” Kissing his cheek, she offered him the seat beside her on the settee.
“I hoped you would come home now, Millie. I miss you so terribly, and my distraction has been quite disastrous in my laboratory. I’ve had three explosions just this week.” He crushed his hat.
She took the hat, smoothed it and placed it on the table. “I don’t see how my not being in the house can be the cause. I never helped you in the laboratory.”
He ran his hands through his graying hair, causing it to stick out in all directions. “I have not done right by you, my Millie, my girl. I meant to be a good parent. I was determined to take full responsibility for your proper upbringing. I failed you miserably, and I am sorry. Come home and I will make it up to you. We can have the country house brought back to life and spend time there. You are the rightful owner. You have money, Millie. You need not be in service.”
Her heart broke into pieces. “Oh, Uncle Francis. You were a good and loving parent. I was well cared for, and I have no complaints other than a few minor explosions.”
He chuckled as she hoped.
“I need to make my own way in the world. I am resigned never to marry, and so I want a different kind of life.” She longed to ease his mind and make him understand.
“But the country house is yours. I will open it up and have it refurbished. You can live there or with me in London. I will be more careful in the laboratory. I have never restricted you from coming and going as you please, but you will be safe.” His normally pale complexion was ruddy, and in his gray eyes shone desperation.
Taking his hands, she drew a deep breath. “Shall I tell you what I really want, Uncle Francis?”
He blinked several times. “Yes, of course.”
“I long to see the world. Go to places where I might be of use. I know so much from watching you all these years. I know how to build an aqueduct. I don’t suppose many women of my station can say that. I have studied your water purification idea as well as engineering specifications for dams and bridges. I think there are places where I might really help people. Working here…”
The door opened, and Mrs. Grimsby entered with the tray of meats, pastries and assorted bites. Once she put the tray on the table, she asked, “Will you need anything else, Miss Edgebrook?”
“No. Thank you.” She waited until the housekeeper was on the other side of the door before she continued. “Working here is just the first step in all the things I long to try. You were the perfect parent. Perfect in that you showed me my mind is just as keen as any man’s. The only thing stopping me is my sex, Uncle Francis, and I have decided to use that to my advantage.” It was a risk to tell him her dreams, but if she couldn’t tell the only person on earth who loved her, then who?
The next few moments stretched out forever as Francis contemplated what she said. “You mean that you took this post as a kind of test for yourself?”
“Exactly. If I can’t manage fixing people’s problems in London, then any hope of doing so in less civilized places is moot.”
He cocked his head. “You do have a brilliant mind. I always thought so. If you were a man, you would have had firsts in every subject at Eton.”
“Thank you. I’m sure I learned more from you than any professor at Eton might have taught me.” More
than anything, she wanted him to understand and maybe even approve.
“I thought you were just trying to get away from me.” He squeezed her hand.
“I won’t lie to you. I am quite sick of the house being lit on fire, but I love you very much, Uncle Francis, and my main reason for leaving home is about me, not you.”
He took a piece of cake and ate it. “It will be difficult for you to travel on your own, Millie. You will need funding and protection. The world can be a dangerous place.”
Millie poured the tea. Just knowing that he was speaking to her as if she could really go and live her dream made her heart expand to the capacity of her chest. “I know. I hope to put money aside from my earnings to hire the staff I need.”
Accepting the tea, he nodded. “You have quite a lot of money from your parents. I was the heir, but I put it all aside for you. I make enough from my inventions to manage my needs. When you are ready to travel, I will see that you are well funded. Tomorrow I will go to my man of business and draw up papers insuring that those funds are yours no matter what happens to me.”
“You never spent Father’s money?” She had to shake herself. Her uncle saved it all for her.
“Of course, there is also your dowry, but as you didn’t marry, that money can be put back with the rest. My brother’s death was no reason to become greedy. I would give it all away and everything I have, too, if I could have him and your mother back in this world. You must know that.”
Unable to stay her tears, she dabbed her eyes with a linen napkin from the tea tray. “I do know.”
He sipped his tea. “I am glad I came, Millie. Thank you for explaining your motives. I feel much relieved. Are you certain you are safe enough here?”
“Oh yes. Lord and Lady Everton are overprotective. No harm will come to me here.” Despite her desire for independence, it was nice to know she was not alone in the world and her uncle truly cared.
“Do you need any money to buy clothes or, well, anything?” He ate another piece of meat.
Millie doubted that he’d been eating since she left home. “I would not mind an allowance, though I can always come and see you if I need anything.”
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