by Amy Knupp
“Come here,” Melanie said, bending down and taking the baby. She sat back in her chair, then started talking about their mother to Evan as she lifted her T-shirt, unlatched something on her bra, and let the baby begin drinking, just like that. Selena looked away. She’d never seen an infant nurse up close and was surprised at the pull on her emotions. She tried to imagine feeding her own child but couldn’t wrap her brain around it.
“So, Selena, Evan told me on the phone that you’re expecting. When’s the due date?”
“Um, end of June.” Selena glanced up at Evan, wondering what else he’d told his sister. “The twenty-eighth.”
“A summer baby. You’ll be ready to have it by then.”
“I don’t know. The pregnancy … wasn’t planned. I’m not feeling ready for anything at all.”
“Mel,” Evan said, his tone serious. “There’s something I didn’t tell you on the phone. The baby’s mine.”
Melanie’s eyes widened and then she squealed. “Omigod, Evan! How could you keep that to yourself?”
“As Selena said, it wasn’t planned. Not quite the same as you and Brad.”
Melanie looked from Evan to Selena and back. “Then I guess congratulations is the wrong thing to say?”
“We’re still figuring things out,” Evan said.
Selena held her breath, waiting for him to mention his marriage campaign, dreading pressure from his sister. But he didn’t bring it up.
“I have a couple of pregnancy books you can borrow,” Melanie said to Selena. “They helped a ton. Believe me, it’s scary even when you plan it and pray for it.”
“Thank you,” Selena said, overcome by this woman’s kindness. “Scary is an understatement. Henry is the first baby I’ve held.”
“Aw, Henry, did you hear that?”
He didn’t stir, intent as he was on nursing.
“You’re going to have a cousin,” Melanie said to her son.
The words made Selena squirm. She hadn’t begun to consider telling anyone in her family about her pregnancy, let alone think about Evan’s relatives and whether or not they would be involved. It was all too complex and hard to swallow.
“I’d appreciate it if you don’t mention anything to Mom yet,” Evan told his sister. “She needs to hear it from me.”
“When are you going to tell her?”
“As soon as I convince Selena to marry me.”
So much for the gratitude she’d been feeling.
“We’re not getting married,” she said, trying to keep the edge out of her voice.
They avoided the topic for the next few minutes. Henry finished nursing, and Melanie burped him as they talked.
Henry let out a grown-up-sized belch, making all three of them laugh. “That he gets from his daddy,” Melanie said.
“Wonder what our kiddo will inherit from each of us,” Evan said.
“Will y’all find out the baby’s gender before it’s born?” Melanie asked.
“I’m not sure,” Selena said, wearier and more emotionally spent than she’d been in a long time. “I haven’t thought about it yet.”
“I want to know as soon as we can,” Evan said.
“Maybe.” Selena frowned. He was invading her life and her pregnancy bit by bit, slowly bowling her over and continually shocking her with the amount he wanted to be involved. She never would have guessed.
This man who insisted on being right there for every detail of her pregnancy was so in contrast with the sexy, larger-than-life charmer she’d first met at the bar. That man had been safer. She wouldn’t fall for him.
She couldn’t deny that, in a perfect world, she’d want this Evan in her life and the child’s. She’d want the family, and there could even be a chance of them being a happy one. She was obviously insanely attracted to him. He was an honorable, caring man. But his job was a deal breaker. It colored everything and made it impossible for Selena to let herself care about him.
She closed her eyes as Melanie and Evan reminisced about Melanie’s pregnancy and the friendly family battle over the baby’s name. Everything had been the way it should be for Melanie and her husband, it seemed. Happily married, ready to start a family. A built-in support system of parents and siblings. The way it sounded, the biggest dilemma had been whether to name the baby after a family member or give him his very own name.
Selena had screwed up royally. Not just by being irresponsible for a night. It was as if she’d gone out and picked the most heartbreaking candidate to be the father of her child — someone caring and responsible, someone who, in other circumstances, she could imagine raising a family with. Someone who, in reality, she could never let her guard down enough to fall in love with.
Pressure built behind her eyes and in her throat.
The front door opened and a man wearing green scrubs walked in.
“Hey, babe,” he said to Melanie.
“Look who’s here, Henry. Daddy!” Melanie stood and handed the baby to her husband, who leaned in to kiss her. “Evan brought his friend Selena here for a visit.”
She made introductions, omitting the reason Selena and Evan were there. Brad reached out to shake Selena’s hand after he shifted Henry to his left arm.
“Henry’s the star of the show here,” he said, and the sparkle of pride in his eyes, along with the way he pulled Melanie close to him, hit Selena in the gut. This was what family should be.
They sat and talked for another hour about comfortable topics: Brad’s medical residency, Evan and Melanie’s mother, the island, and more. Evan ended up confiding about Selena’s pregnancy, and Brad handled it well and didn’t make a big deal of it. Selena sagged back into the cushions in relief once the subject changed again.
“Did you get that boat?” Brad asked Evan.
“No, man,” Evan said, and Selena caught a hint of his disappointment — before he pasted a grin on his face. He hadn’t said anything about a boat before.
“What?” Brad and Melanie questioned him at once.
“Decided against it.”
“Was there something wrong with the one you’d picked out?” Brad asked. “I thought you said it was perfect.”
“It was. Bad timing is all.”
Selena studied him as Brad continued to ask him about the features, price, model. Evan’s face lit up as he spoke and she wondered … was the baby the reason he’d backed out? Whatever the cause, she gathered it was a hefty sacrifice for him. Yet another repercussion of their bad luck.
“We should go soon,” Selena said after a while, dying to escape.
She’d held the baby, gotten a taste of how cute one could be, witnessed the painful antithesis of her near future, and now she needed to be alone. She wasn’t a member of Evan’s family and never wanted to be, even though she really liked his sister, brother-in-law, and their baby. But it was one more connection she couldn’t afford to make only to lose it.
“I thought you didn’t have to work,” Evan said.
“I need to finish a painting tonight. Besides, Melanie and Brad have enough to do without entertaining us.”
“It’s been great to have adult conversation,” Melanie said. “But it sounds like you have a lot to do.”
“Let me say good-bye to the man,” Evan said, standing and taking his nephew from Melanie’s arms. “Come here, big guy.” He swung him up high again, eliciting a big grin and a wad of drool. “Next time I see you I’ll get you started on surf lessons.”
Henry made contented baby noises as Evan drew him close and kissed his chubby cheeks. Selena’s heart constricted. He was so gentle with his nephew. He’d be a wonderful father.
“I’m glad you came,” Melanie said. “Evan can give you my phone number and email address so you can holler if you want to talk pregnancy or baby stuff.”
“Thank you,” Selena said. She would definitely have a thousand questions before this was over. While Macey had good intentions, she’d never been through pregnancy, and when Selena thought of her friends from Bos
ton, she couldn’t imagine breaking the news to them. Unwed pregnancy wasn’t something they discussed. “Your son is amazing.”
“Yours will be too. Talk to you soon.” She took Henry from Evan and put her arm around her brother. “Love you, Evan. Call me.”
“Take care, guys,” Brad said.
Selena and Evan didn’t talk during the ride home.
It was too much. Watching the happy family of three tore Selena up because she wouldn’t have that. This baby would be shortchanged from day one. Their child would never have what Henry did.
Chapter Fourteen
“Isn’t that one of your women over there?” Clay asked Evan between serves. They were in the middle of game two of the annual fundraiser. After losing the first game by three points, the firefighters were fired up, determined to force a third against the police department.
Evan craned his neck to follow Clay’s gaze into the crowd along the waterside. “It’s Jenny.” Not his. He didn’t have a woman, but he’d immediately thought of Selena when Clay said it.
He’d gone out with Jenny twice but hadn’t gotten around to calling her again. Then Selena had shown up.
Like it or not, everything had changed since Selena.
He hadn’t talked to her since he’d dropped her off after their visit to Melanie’s. Two days, not that he was counting. Dammit, maybe he was.
“Not bad,” Clay said, still checking Jenny out. “You going to ask her out again?”
Jorge Consuelo, the cop with the biggest mouth on the island, served the volleyball then, and Evan dove for it. Clay set it near the net, and Scott Pataki, one of the paramedics, spiked it. For being such a skinny dude, Pataki had some power. The ball landed just inside the line on the other team’s side.
“Eat that,” Scott said as a couple of the other firefighters hooted.
“Y’all are all talk. Enjoy the point, because we’re gonna finish it off real quick.” Jorge had a cocky grin on his face.
Evan dusted himself off and addressed Clay. “No, I’m not going to ask her out again. Why would I?”
“You sure you’re not taking yourself off the market prematurely?” Derek asked from the other side of him.
“You haven’t seen Selena for a few days, have you?” Clay added.
“What the hell, guys?”
“I’m in favor of it if you’re getting serious,” Derek said. “Just want to make sure it’s a two-way thing.”
“Did you change her mind yet?” Clay asked.
Evan scowled at both of them. “I’m giving her some space.”
His idea of taking her to meet Melanie had backfired. When he’d dropped her off that evening, she’d been quiet, distant. He’d let her go without any questions. He hadn’t been sure what to say, how not to make things worse.
He’d hoped to hear from her in the meantime, or at least have a chance to talk to her at the station when she was painting. The time he’d gone looking for her during his shift, though, she’d either been on a break or gone for the day.
Evan noticed too late that the ball was coming straight for him. He automatically held his hands out to prevent being hit in the face, but the ball bounced off his palms at the wrong angle and went out of bounds.
“Get your head in the game, Drake,” Clay said. “Forget I mentioned her.”
“Go to … Hades,” Evan said, remembering at the last second this was a family event. Fortunately, the majority of the ankle biters were in the parking lot sitting in the driver’s seat of the fire truck, exploring the ambulance, or holding the fire hose.
There was a trophy out there and Evan didn’t like losing. Neither did his fellow firefighters. His reputation was on the line, and he wasn’t going to endanger that because of a woman. Not today.
oOo
“For wanting to avoid him, you sure haven’t taken your eyes off him much,” Macey said.
“I’m just watching the game,” Selena lied.
“A very small part of the game.” She said it with a knowing grin.
“You can’t blame me for admiring from afar. Look at him.”
“Enjoy the scenery. I know I am.” Macey returned her attention to the game.
The entire team, as well as a couple of guys on the other side, had shed their shirts, even though the weather was cloudy and chilly.
Evan’s tanned torso shone with sweat and his hair was a mess. The muscles on his back rippled with every movement. He stepped back and served the ball.
“That is art,” Selena said.
“Parade of muscles.” Macey made a sound of approval. “Just look at them.”
“We’re looking, honey,” a woman beside them, probably close to seventy, replied. “Why else would we be here?”
“To raise money for the homeless shelter, of course,” Macey said in false seriousness. “Strictly duty.”
“God bless America,” the woman said. “If they really want to raise some money, they ought to sell dates with those men. I’d buy a whole week. Might kill me, but I’d die one happy woman.”
Before Selena could get enough of the scenery, the match was over. The firefighters had won the last two, and they celebrated their victory with high fives and chest bumps. As they exited the court, they shook hands with their opponents and traded insults.
Macey dragged her through the crowd toward the court, and Selena was thankful when someone stopped them. The couple apparently knew Macey from the Shell Shack. Selena smiled politely and listened to their small talk, keeping one eye on Evan the entire time.
She caught her breath when Evan’s eyes finally met hers from several feet away. He was talking to one of his colleagues, but when he spotted her, his attention became riveted to her. Selena looked away quickly.
“I’m going to find a restroom,” she told Macey. “Want to meet me at the concession stand?”
Macey nodded. “I’m going to congratulate Derek first.”
Before she walked off, Selena couldn’t help glancing Evan’s way again. He still spoke to the same person, but he’d moved slightly, so that he could keep an eye on her. She escaped, thankful for the crowd.
She’d never been such a complete, utter coward. She’d thought too much about him in the past few days, and couldn’t stop dreaming about him. She was making herself nervous. And she was scared he would read her thoughts within seconds.
oOo
Selena needn’t have worried about running into Evan, it turned out. She and Macey downed a couple hot dogs at the end of a long table while the crowd milled around them.
“Where’d Derek go?” Selena finally asked as they finished their meal.
“He had to give a short talk to the kids on fire safety. They do one every half hour or so and he gets roped in frequently. I think he enjoys it. He has a way with kids.”
“You two thinking about babies anytime soon?” Selena asked quietly.
“I intend to make it legal first—” Macey closed her eyes. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t funny like it was supposed to be.”
Selena grinned. “It’s okay. We can’t all do it backward like me.”
Macey squeezed her forearm. “I’m having my foot for dessert but what would you like?”
Selena grinned. “Honestly, I’m beat. I’m going to go home and take it easy for the evening.”
“No working?”
“That depends. Are you asking as my business advisor or my friend?”
“Business advisor is off duty right now. And your friend says you need to relax. You deserve a night off.”
“Then by all means, I must.” Selena stood and bent to hug Macey. “Thanks for making me come with you. The scenery was to die for.”
“Wasn’t it though. Talk to you soon. I’ll be at the Shack tomorrow. Come in for lunch on me if you want to get out.”
“Let’s see how my painting goes. If I don’t come by, I’ll text you.”
She waved, then found the nearest trash can to get rid of her paper plate and napkin. When she turned for ho
me, her way was blocked by a wide, muscular chest in a San Amaro Island Fire Department T-shirt.
Chapter Fifteen
“Going somewhere?”
Selena gathered her wits as she stared up at Evan. “Yes,” she said, attempting to hide the urgency she felt. “Home.”
“I’m trying not to take it personally that you didn’t even say hello.” He stepped closer and leaned in, giving her a sample of his fresh-showered-man scent.
“Smart.” She lowered her gaze from his face to his chest and back again. “You’re all … dressed.”
“Disappointed?”
“Maybe.”
“I can take my shirt off again if it would please you, miss.”
Selena laughed, ignoring the twinge deep inside of her at the thought. “I don’t think so.”
“You don’t think it would please you?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” she clarified. “The women would swarm, your ego would inflate even more…”
“The only one I want to impress is right in front of me. Unfortunately, she seems to be the one who couldn’t care less.”
“Good game today,” Selena said quickly.
“Pulled it off in the end. We’d hear about it all year if we lost.”
“I’m betting you’ll dish it out just as much.”
“You’re betting right. Did you drive?”
“Macey did.”
“Where’s Macey?”
“Not ready to go yet.”
“Which means, let me guess, you’re walking. Not going to ask me for a ride?”
Selena shook her head. “Not going to ask you for a ride. But if you offered one, I’d probably accept.”
“Come on.”
He led her around the station to the parking lot. The sun had started to fall and the clouds had darkened. The festivities would end soon and cars were starting to file out of the lot. The main street was jammed. She was going to have to spend eons with him alone, in the too-small cab of his giant truck.
