by Amy Knupp
“I’m not giving up,” Evan said, his throat raw with pain, both physical and other.
Selena stared at him, then slowly, sadly shook her head. “I have to go now. Good-bye, Evan.”
He watched her walk, step by graceful step, out of his life.
Chapter Twenty-Five
“You doing okay?”
Selena looked up at her brother from where she sat on the main stairway in the Cambridge-Jarboe family estate. She nodded distractedly. “I guess. All things considered.”
“All things considered,” Tom repeated, gesturing for her to move over so he could sit next to her. “Lots to digest.”
“You’re still freaking out because I’m pregnant, aren’t you?”
“Hell yeah. You’re my baby sister. I’m going to be an uncle.”
They’d stayed up talking most of the night before after getting through the funeral, the burial, the gathering at the house afterward. The ordeal had made time disappear and brought their father’s death back as if it’d happened the week before instead of fifteen years ago.
“You’ll be the best uncle ever,” she said, leaning into him. “You can buy him baby camos.”
Tom chuckled. “The question is whether you’d let the little one wear them or not.”
“As long as you don’t start recruiting before high school.”
“I wouldn’t dare. Don’t need that big bad firefighter coming after me.”
Selena grinned reluctantly. “You big, bad army guys have a problem with big, bad firefighters beating you up?”
“Actually, not in this lifetime. I’m more afraid of the firefighter’s woman.”
“I’m not his anything, Tom. I told you that.”
“What would he say about that?”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. When do you go back?”
“Day after tomorrow. Sorry I can’t stay longer, but I was lucky to make it back at all.”
“I know. Thank God you did. I couldn’t have gotten through it without you.”
“You’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
His words reminded her of what her mother had said and choked her up. She changed the subject. “There’s a lot of work to be done here if we’re really going to sell this place.”
“You still want to, after sleeping on it for two whole hours?”
Selena nodded. “You?”
“I don’t need a place like this. Compared to what I’m used to, the guesthouse is like a luxurious resort.”
“This place has always been Mom’s. She loved it. The rest of us just … lived here.”
“I want you to forget about sorting through anything right now,” Tom said. “We can do it later, when my deployment’s over, after your baby is born.”
“What if you don’t—” Selena stopped herself.
“What?” Tom asked.
Selena looked around, a sad grin on her face, half expecting to see her mother. “You’ll make it back just fine. Right?”
“Hell yeah. Nothing’s going to stop me from meeting my nephew.”
“Or niece.”
“You keep calling it him.”
Just like Evan did. If this little one was a girl, she’d have an adjustment to make.
She studied her brother, thinking about the conversation she and her mother had had just about a week ago. “Of all the people in our family, Mom had the safest existence. The most dangerous thing she did was fly cross-country to track me down.”
“Yeah. You take after her, Leenie. You are one risk-averse chick.”
“And yet she’s the one who died. Of a freaking random blood clot.” Her voice thickened in her throat, and it was all she could do to get the words out.
“Can happen to any of us,” her brother said, putting his arm around her.
“I was so busy worrying about you and Evan I didn’t even think about something happening to Mom.”
“Wait a sec,” Tom said, removing his arm and leaning away to frown at her. “You mean even though you took off to Texas to get me and Mom out of your life, you’ve still been worrying about me?”
Selena didn’t meet his eyes. “Every damn day.”
Tom clunked his head back against the wall. “Then why in the hell did you feel it was necessary to cut me off? If you were worrying anyway…”
For the two-thousandth time that week, tears blinded Selena.
“All I wanted was to hear your voice sometimes. Make sure you were doing okay,” her brother continued. “I thought you walked away so you wouldn’t have to worry.”
Selena laughed … or was she crying yet again? She wasn’t sure, but her shoulders shook. “I know. I thought I could handle things better by disappearing.”
“But no?”
“But no.”
Definitely crying. Out-of-control crying.
Tom held on to her forearm and let her get it out as she sat there sobbing hysterically for a good five minutes. When she calmed down, hiccupping on a half sob only periodically, he started in.
“So. Let’s review. You worried about me.”
“Yes.”
“You cut me off so you wouldn’t have to worry about me.”
“Yes.” Selena grinned at his theatrics in spite of herself.
“And yet you kept right on worrying about me, even though you ran thousands of miles away.”
“Yes.”
He looked at her, nodding, as if to say he was onto her game now. “And this firefighter dude…”
Oh, no, not this.
“Evan? You worry about him?”
She nodded halfheartedly, knowing exactly where her pain-in-the-ass brother was going with this.
“Sooo, the brainiac who is my sister has once again decided that if she cuts him out of her life, she will worry less. Correct?”
She didn’t answer. Because she knew he was absolutely right. And while the thought scared the ever-loving daylights out of her, it also sparked intense hope.
Tom raised one eyebrow at her, something he’d always done because he knew it drove her crazy.
“Don’t give me the brow,” she said.
He didn’t stop.
“You think I’m being foolish.”
“Absolutely ridiculous.” He smiled and then grew serious. “Selena, caring for someone is never easy. But if you focus on the positive instead of dwelling on the negative—”
“The what-ifs,” she said, nodding. “Mom said the same thing.”
“You know what, Leenie? For once, Mom was right.”
The fear was still there in her gut, but it was being drowned out by possibilities. She bolted off the stairs and paced at the foot of them. Nodding to herself. “I can do this. I can stop with the what-ifs and all the other bad thoughts. Macey can help me — she seems good at it. She could be my support group, just like Mom said…”
“Selena?” Tom was still perched on the step, watching her in obvious amusement.
She stopped pacing. “What?”
“You can do it. And if, God forbid, something bad ever happens to someone you love — like Mom, Dad — you can get through it. It sucks royally, but you can get through it. You’re one of the strongest women I know.”
“I’m not.”
He stood and towered over her. “Don’t argue with me.” The smile on his face contradicted the bellow of his voice.
“I love him, Tom.”
“Then go tell him that.” He came down the bottom three steps and hugged Selena. “Get out of here.”
She looked up at him, smiling so wide it hurt. “I think I will.”
oOo
“Will you marry me?”
Smiling, Evan peered down at the half-pint girl. “I’ll tell you what, Angelica. When you get old enough to get married, you come find me. If I’m still single, we can talk, okay?”
The brown-haired girl with beautiful eyes nodded enthusiastically. “’Kay. Can I drive the truck now?”
“Angelica, Señor Drake has sh
own us everything and given us the very best tour,” her mother said. “It’s time for us to go.”
“You know what, Angelica? I don’t even get to drive the truck most days.”
“Really?” She frowned and looked around, as if she was going to set things right for him.
“I have other jobs. Like rescuing very important little girls like you.”
She nodded emphatically at his excellent point. He glanced at her mother again, laughing to himself until he saw Mrs. Hernandez was almost in tears.
“We are so very grateful for what you did,” she said, her English heavily accented.
“I’m just glad we got her out quickly. She’s doing so well.”
“Thanks to you. Can I hug you, please?”
“Me too!” Angelica skipped over from the truck.
Evan hugged the woman briefly, then bent down to the little girl. She wrapped her arms around his neck and didn’t seem to plan to let go anytime soon. As he crouched there with her, someone outside the garage caught his attention.
His heart reacted almost before he realized who it was. What was Selena doing here?
“You take care of your mommy, you hear me?” he said to Angelica, easing her away.
“Yes, sir!” she yelled. It was hard to believe this was the girl who’d been drifting in and out of consciousness when he pulled her from the burning school just a week ago.
“Thanks for coming by so I could see you again. Drop by anytime, okay?”
“Yes, sir!”
Both he and Mrs. Hernandez laughed. They said good-bye and the woman and her daughter went toward the parking lot, leaving Evan by himself, staring at the woman he loved.
He braced himself for whatever it was she was here to say to him and headed outside.
“Hey, hero,” she said, standing there looking breathtakingly gorgeous. She wore a long, loose dress the bluish-green color of the gulf, and when he looked closely, he swore he could tell for the first time she was carrying a baby. His baby. Just like that, something major shifted inside him at the thought of meeting his child.
“Welcome back. How did everything go?”
“As well as a funeral can go. Do you work until tomorrow morning?”
“Actually, I’m not on duty. That little girl, Angelica, is the one we pulled out from the school. Her mama brought her in for a tour, and she insisted on me giving it to her, so the guys called and asked me to come up for it.”
She grinned, squinting in the bright sun. “She’s got herself a case of hero worship.”
“Asked me to marry her, as a matter of fact.”
Her smile turned into a frown. “Damn.”
“What’s wrong, Selena?” He moved closer, thinking maybe she’d had some pain, maybe something was wrong with the baby.
“It’s just that … I was hoping it would be me.”
“What would be you?”
“The one who married you.”
He stared at her, his mouth probably gaping open like an idiot, as her words sank in.
“Say that again, please.”
“I know you’re a big local hero and all, with groupies and fan girls — of all ages, apparently — but I was kind of thinking that since you asked me to marry you first, before her…”
Evan grinned. Laughed. Threw his head back and howled. “Lucky for you, I didn’t accept her proposal outright. I’m still available.”
“Excellent. Because this baby and I, we need a third. A man of the house. Someone to kill spiders and change lightbulbs.”
He stepped closer and put his arms around her, squeezing her and lifting her off the ground. He spun her around in a circle, then checked the windows, praying to God that none of the guys were gawking at them.
Sure enough, Rafe and Luis stood in the kitchen avidly watching him and Selena.
Ah, to hell with it. He grinned, waved at the guys, then picked up Selena and spun her again. As he slid her back to her feet, he kissed that beautiful head of hair, breathing in her intoxicating peaches-and-vanilla scent. He took her hand and led her away.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“Away from our audience. Like a bunch of damn gossip girls standing there staring.”
Selena glanced around him, laughed, and waved at the others.
They walked around the wall to the side with the finished mural and sat on the pavement, out of sight from the gawkers.
“This isn’t close enough,” Evan said. “I’ve had to live without you for a week. I want you here.” He pulled her up onto his lap.
“Better?” she asked, her slightly swollen belly the only thing between them now.
“Much. So tell me. What changed your mind? Nothing’s different about my career. I still have to fight the occasional big, bad fire.”
She nodded. “I know.”
“And you’re okay with that? You think you can handle it?”
“I’m okay with it. It’s who you are, Evan. What you do. If you did anything different, you wouldn’t be the man I fell in love with.”
He stared into her eyes, feeling himself falling deeper and not caring. “All true,” he said huskily.
“I tried running away from my brother, to avoid the fear that something terrible would happen again, but it didn’t work. I still worried every day. And I missed him.”
“I’d like to meet him.”
“Oh, you will. You two are exactly alike. All about danger and heroism. Blah, blah, blah.”
“He sounds like one cool dude.”
“You would say that.” She wove the fingers of their hands together, becoming serious again. “I never expected my mom to die such an untimely death.” She sucked in a quick breath and he guessed she was struggling not to cry. He tightened his grip on her hands. “I’m so glad she and I had those last few days together, Evan. It’s like we made our peace.” She sniffed and met his gaze directly. “It made me realize we never know how long we’ll have people in our lives. So however long you have, I want you to be mine.”
“I’m yours, darlin’.” Evan pulled her in for a lingering kiss.
Selena backed away after several seconds. “Just get this through your head. You better be careful, and you better come home to me after every single shift. If you get yourself hurt, I will kick your ass.”
Evan laughed. “You better hope I’m not the kind of guy who likes it rough.”
“Cute,” she said sarcastically. “I mean it. This baby needs his father. And so do I.”
“You need me?” Evan said with a wide grin.
“I need you. More than I need anyone or anything else in the world.”
“More than ice cream?”
Selena paused. Tilted her head and put her finger to her lower lip thoughtfully. Nodded. “Yes, although ice cream’s a close second.”
Evan wrapped his arms around her as if he would never let her go. “How ’bout we go celebrate with some butter pecan?”
“You do so know the way to this woman’s heart.”
Epilogue
“What’s with the mystery woman thing, darlin’? Where are we going?” Evan asked.
Selena got out of the truck, unfastened the car seat belt, and pulled three-month-old Christian — named for her father — into her arms. She handed the baby a key ring to jingle and chew on. “Thirty’s a milestone birthday. We have to celebrate appropriately.”
Evan looked at her sideways, as if he wasn’t sure whether to trust her, and Selena taunted him with a sneaky laugh.
“This way,” she said.
“Want the stroller?” Evan asked. “Champion Eater is a load these days.”
She shook her head. “We don’t need that where we’re going.”
“Which is … where, exactly?”
“I never knew you were so impatient. It’s cute.”
“I’ve got your cute right here, darlin’. Which way?” Instead of answering, Selena walked toward the marina, the same route they’d taken almost a year ago when they had gone on the
ir adventure with her mom.
“Aha,” Evan said as they rounded the corner of the building and the boats came into sight. “I’ve got it. We’re taking Chief’s boat out for a birthday spin. You going to drive?”
Selena kept walking. When she passed the second dock, where the fire chief moored his boat, she surreptitiously watched her husband. His brow furrowed. He searched the boats at dock number two and did indeed locate the Hot Water. Then he narrowed his eyes. She put on her most innocent act and continued in silence.
At dock four, she angled out over the water, slowing so that Evan caught up to her. Christian stared at his daddy with big blue eyes and chubby cheeks.
“Hey, little man. I suppose you know the secret too, huh? Anything you want to tell Daddy?”
“Gah!”
“See anything you like?” Selena asked, gesturing to the boats with her head.
Evan turned his attention from his son to the scenery and immediately homed in on the Grand Banks trawler yacht at the end of the line. The one named Fire and Ice Cream.
“That one’s new here. Never seen it before. I would remember that.” He whistled. “She’s a beauty.”
“Give that to Daddy,” Selena coaxed Christian. “Go ahead, sweetie. Give Daddy the keys.”
Evan reached for the ring that Christian and Selena held out together. He still had the over-the-moon-new-dad look about him, the one he’d worn the entire past three months. “Thank you,” he said, distracted.
Selena could see the instant when the realization dawned on him. His expression changed from baby love to whoa.
“Selena?” Evan said. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”
She laughed and walked onto the narrow dock to the back end of the Fire and Ice Cream. At her nod, the door to the cabin flew open, and Melanie, Brad and Henry, and Evan’s mother, Susan, burst out onto the deck.
“Surprise!”
“Hell,” Evan said shakily. “Oh, God. Selena?”
“It’s yours, Evan. I thought we’d let you take your new boat for a spin. Your mother needs a ride home to Tampa.”
The look on his face was second only to the expression he’d had at the moment Christian had been born. Like a little kid, Evan hopped over to the deck and spun around, laughing. He climbed up to the captain’s chair and ran his hands over the dashboard and controls. Then he climbed back down and disappeared into the cabin, while Selena and the rest of his family stood outside high-fiving and laughing for all they were worth.
