by Kim Lawrence
‘I always played by the rules. I even wanted a safe man... I didn’t even have the guts to do what I really wanted.’ She shook her head slowly from side to side and sniffed. ‘I went to university and did a course I had absolutely no interest in rather than stand up to my dad. I got engaged to a man who seemed safe and solid, and when he turned out to be a total bastard did I learn? No, I got engaged to a man I knew would never hurt me because...I always go for the safe option.’
He let out a long, low whistle. ‘Dieu, I wanted you to take responsibility for your own actions—not the financial crisis, world hunger and bad days in the week that have a Y in them.’
Startled, Hannah lifted her head. Her eyes connected with his and a small laugh was shaken from her chest. ‘I just want...’ She stopped, her husky voice suspended by tears, her control still unravelling so fast she could not keep pace.
With a muttered imprecation he dropped down to his knees beside the bed and pushed the hair back from her damp face.
‘What do you want?’
Her wide brimming blue eyes lifted. ‘I just want to be...to feel...not like this.’ She gnawed at her lower lip and brought her lashes down in a protective veil. ‘Sorry, I don’t know why I’m saying this stuff to you.’
Responding to the painful tug in his chest, Kamel stood up and gently pushed her down. Sliding his hand behind her knees, he swung her legs onto the bed, pulling a pillow under her head before joining her.
‘Go to sleep,’ he said, lowering his long length onto the bed beside her.
‘I can’t sleep. I have dreams that I’m back in that cell and he is...’ She struggled to sit up. A light touch on her breastbone stopped her rising and after a moment she stopped fighting. ‘I can’t sleep.’
He touched a finger to her lips. ‘Move over.’ Pausing to slide an arm under her shoulders, he pulled her head back onto his shoulder.
‘Why are you being nice to me?’ she whispered into his neck—and then a moment later she was asleep.
Kamel, who preferred his own bed, realised this was the first time in his life that he had slept with a woman, in the literal sense. Only he wasn’t sleeping and he seriously doubted he would. A state of semi-arousal combined with seething frustration was not in his experience conducive to sleep, especially when there was zero chance of doing anything to relieve that frustration.
On the plus side at least the scenery was rather special. Asleep she looked like a wanton angel. There were probably a lot of men out there who would be willing to give up a night’s sleep to look at that face. He was aware of an ache of desire somewhere deep inside him so strong it hurt. Ignoring it didn’t make it go away, and not looking at her was not an option because his eyes, like the north arrow on a compass, kept going back to the same place.
So in the end he didn’t question it; he just accepted it.
* * *
Hannah fought her way out of a dream, struggling to shake off the lingering sense of dread.
‘Wake up. You’re safe.’
Still half asleep, she opened her eyes, saw his face and sighed. ‘I love your mouth,’ she said before pressing her own lips to the sensual curve.
‘Hannah.’ He pulled away.
She blinked, the confusion slowly filtering from her.
‘Sorry, I thought you were a dream.’ She had kissed him and he hadn’t kissed her back. He hadn’t done anything. Once was bad, but twice was humiliating.
‘I thought you were a bitch.’ And that had made the politically expedient marriage not right, but not this wrong. ‘I was wrong.’
‘Not a bitch.’ Great, I feel so much better.
Suddenly she felt very angry. She struggled to sit up. ‘So what is wrong with me?’ she asked, looking down at him for once. ‘I mean, there has to be, doesn’t there? I’ve been engaged twice, and no sex.’ Hannah could hear the words coming out of her mouth. She knew she shouldn’t be saying them but she couldn’t stop. ‘Now I’m married, and you don’t even want to kiss me!’
With a dry sob she flung herself down and rolled over, her back to him.
It was the sight of her heaving shoulders that snapped the last threads of Kamel’s self-imposed restraint. ‘Don’t cry,’ he begged.
‘I’m not crying,’ she retorted, sniffing. ‘I’ve just realised something. I don’t know why I was so bothered about marrying you.’
‘I’m flattered.’
Hannah rolled over until she was able to stare straight at him. She had barely registered his dry comment, as her thoughts—dark ones—were turned inward.
‘I can’t even do sex so what would the point have been of waiting for someone who can give me...more?’
Kamel had never felt any driving desire to be a with a woman who considered him her soul mate. On the other hand, being basically told that you were an all right consolation prize for someone with low expectations was a bit below the belt even for someone with his ego.
Well at least the pressure is off, he thought. She’s not expecting much of you!
His sudden laugh made her look up.
‘So you are willing to settle for me?’
A small puzzled indent appeared between her feathery brows as she struggled to read his expression. ‘Doesn’t seem like I have a lot of choice in the matter, does it?’ She glanced at the ring on her finger.
‘So you are willing to...how did you put it—take one for the team?’
‘I thought you’d have been glad to know that you don’t have to pretend, that I don’t expect—’
‘Much?’
This drew an exasperated hiss from Hannah.
‘Well, the mystery of why you’re a virgin is solved,’ he drawled. ‘You talked them to sleep.’
With an angry snort Hannah reached behind her for one of the pillows that had been spread across the bed while she slept.
‘I don’t think so, angel.’
Somewhere between picking it up and lobbing it at him she found the pillow was removed from her fingers and a moment later she was lying with her wrists held either side of her head, with his body suspended above her.
She could hear a sound above the thunderous clamour of her frantic heartbeat—it was her panting. She couldn’t draw enough air into her lungs to stop her head spinning. His mouth was a whisper away from hers; she could feel the warmth of his breath on her lips.
The dark intent shining in his heavy-lidded eyes made the heat prickle under her skin.
‘Just—’ he ran his tongue lightly across the surface of her lips ‘—how—’ he kissed one corner of her mouth ‘—much—’ he kissed the other corner, smiling as she gave a deep languid sigh and lifted her head towards him ‘—are you willing—’ he kissed her full on her trembling lips before trailing a series of burning kisses down the smooth column of her neck ‘—to take for the team?’
‘I...don’t...God...stop...please don’t stop!’ she moaned, terrified at the thought he might.
Her beating heart stumbled as his beautiful mouth came crashing down to claim her lips. The relief she felt as she opened her mouth to him in silent invitation was quickly consumed by the response of her body to the thrust of his tongue: low in her belly each carnal incursion caused a tight clenching; between her legs the dampness ran hot.
While he kissed her with something approaching desperation his hands were busy in her hair, on her face, sliding under her nightdress to caress the warm skin of her smooth thighs then reaching to curve over one taut, tingling breast. As he found the loop of the top button and slipped it off his patience snapped and he tugged hard, causing the remainder to tear from the fabric as he pushed the two sides apart to reveal her breasts to his hungry stare.
She arched up into him as he took first one turgid rosy peak and then the other into his mouth, leaving her gasping and moaning; her entire
body reached fever pitch in seconds. He pressed a kiss to her belly and the frustration building inside got higher and higher as his finger slid lower and lower, inscribing a tingling line between her aching breasts and then down her quivering belly.
Nakedness turned out not to be inhibiting—it was liberating. She lifted her arms and tugged him down to her. The slow, drugging kisses continued as she arched, pushing her breasts up against his hard chest, frantic for skin-to-skin contact. Her hands ran down the strong, smooth lines of his back, revealing his strength, his sleek hardness.
The liquid heat in her belly had a new urgency as he began to fumble with the buckle on his belt. A moment later she heard the sound of his zipper.
Afflicted by a belated bout of virginal modesty, she closed her eyes, opening them only when he took her hands in his and curled them around the hot, silky, rock-hard erection.
She couldn’t prevent the little gasp that was wrenched from somewhere in her chest.
At least make an effort to look like you know what you’re doing, Hannah.
The voice in her head was critical but he was not.
A deep feral moan was wrenched from his throat as her fingers began to experimentally tighten then release the pressure around the throbbing column. His eyes drifted shut and he began to breathe hard. Then without warning he took her hand and tipped her back onto the pillows.
She let out a series of fractured gasps that terminated in a higher-pitched wailing moan as he touched the dampness between her thighs.
‘This is good?’ he slurred thickly as he continued to stroke and torment, making her ache everywhere.
She nodded vigorously and pushed against the heel of his hand. ‘Oh, yes...very good.’
He raised himself up, took her hand and, holding her gaze, laid it against his chest. Not looking away from her eyes for an instant, he fought his way out of his shirt and flung it away.
‘You’re beautiful,’ she breathed, unable to take her greedy stare off his tautly muscled, gleaming torso.
Kamel swallowed. He wanted her badly. At that moment he could not think of anything he had wanted more.
‘I’ve wanted to be inside you since the moment I saw you.’ He pushed against her, letting her share the relentless ache in his groin.
‘I want that too.’ Delighting in the discovery of an inherent sensuality, she parted her thighs.
Responding to the silent invitation with a fierce groan, he came over her and settled between her legs. She had expected to tense at that final point of no return, but she relaxed. It was easy, not so painful as she’d imagined—and then as her body tightened around him she felt her blood tingle and squeezed her eyelids tight, just focusing on all the things that were happening inside and Kamel filling her so wonderfully, Kamel moving, pushing her somewhere...
Then just as the itch got too intense to bear, she found out where she was going and let go. She heard Kamel cry out, felt the flood of his release and wrapped her legs around him, afraid that she’d be washed away, lost.
She wasn’t. She finished up where she’d started, under Kamel.
* * *
Some time later she did recover the power of speech but she couldn’t do full sentences.
‘Wow!’ she said, staring at the ceiling. Beside her, his chest heaving, Kamel was doing the same.
He turned his head. ‘For a first effort, I have to say you show promise.’
This time he did not prevent her lobbing the pillow at his head, but in the subsequent tussle it ended on the floor and they ended up in a tangle of limbs.
CHAPTER NINE
WHEN HANNAH WOKE it was light and she was alone.
She felt the bed beside her—it was still warm. She gave a wistful sigh. She hadn’t expected him to be there but it would have been...no, nice was not part of their relationship. Though yesterday she would have said the same about sex. It was crazy, in a good way, that the area of this marriage she’d thought would be hardest—that she had been dreading—turned out to be the easiest and the most pleasurable.
She gave a voluptuous sigh and smiled. It had been easy, natural, and totally incredible.
She sat up suddenly, her eyes flying wide in dawning alarm. She was assuming that it would be happening again soon and often. But what if last night wasn’t going to be something that happened regularly? While she hadn’t known what she was missing, celibacy had been easy—but now she did know. She gave an anxious sigh.
It would be...terrible. One night and Kamel was her drug of choice; she was a total addict.
She showered and dressed in record time, wondering if she should just come out and ask him. She was on her way to see Sarah when she literally bumped into him. He was dressed in running shorts and a tee shirt and looked so gorgeous that she was struck dumb.
‘I’ve been running.’
She nodded, and thought that there really was such a thing as being paralysed with lust. If she’d stayed in bed, would he have walked in? Her eyelids drooped as she imagined him peeling off his top and—
‘And you are...?’ he prompted.
Hannah started guiltily, the colour rushing to her cheeks. ‘I’m going to see Sarah, and Olive and the puppies.’
‘Sarah?’
‘The cook...but she’s more than that. I’ll be ready for the flight.’
‘I’m sure you will. See you then.’
He actually saw her much sooner. He had showered and was beginning to wade through his emails when he heard her bedroom door slam, quite loudly. A slamming door was not in itself indicative of a problem. He cut off the pointless line of speculation and focused on work. Luckily his ability to ignore distractions was almost as legendary as his reputation for zero patience for those undisciplined individuals who brought their personal lives into the workplace.
Five minutes later he closed his laptop, realising that in the interests of efficiency it would save time if he just went and checked she was all right.
He didn’t ask. It was obvious she wasn’t.
‘What’s wrong?’
Hannah stopped pacing and turned around. ‘Nothing.’
He arched a brow.
‘I can’t tell you.’ She pressed a fist to her mouth.
He walked over, removed her fist and said calmly, ‘What can’t you tell me?’
‘I walked in on Sarah with Dad, They were...’ her eyes slid towards the bed ‘...you know.’
Kamel blinked. ‘You walked in on your father having sex with the cook?’
She covered her ears with her hands. ‘Don’t say it out loud!’
Kamel fought back a smile. ‘It always comes as a shock to a child when they learn their parents have sex.’
‘I know my father has sex. I just don’t want to see it!’
This time he couldn’t fight the smile. ‘It’s going to be tough for him—’
‘No, they didn’t see me. That really would be awful. No, the door was half open and...’ She stopped, closed her eyes and shook her head, shuddered. ‘I backed out and ran.’
‘I imagine you did.’ His lips quivered.
‘This isn’t funny,’ she protested.
Unable to stop himself, Kamel began to laugh.
A laugh bubbled in her throat. ‘I want to delete the image from my mind. I really do.’ The laugh escaped.
Five minutes later Hannah was all laughed out, and Kamel was sprawled on the bed, one arm under his head, telling her that when he had walked in he had thought there had been some major disaster.
‘Your face! Honestly it was...’ He sat up and sighed. ‘I should get back to it. I’ve got a stack of—’
‘I’m sorry I stopped you working.’
He gave a sudden grin. ‘No, you’re not.’ He patted the bed beside him and leaned back against the p
illows.
Hannah came across the room, hesitating only a moment before she manoeuvred herself to sit straddling him.
‘I like your thinking,’ he purred, his eyes flaring hot as she pulled the top over her head. ‘I like other things even more.’
* * *
‘Are you all right?’
Hannah shrugged and put down the book she had been holding. Her interest in the novel was feigned but her confusion was not. ‘With flying, you mean...?’
A spasm of irritation crossed his face. ‘Your father and the cook? It happens—the attraction between people from different backgrounds.’
Her brow smoothed and she laughed. ‘You think I didn’t know? Or that I have some sort of problem with it?’
His brows lifted. ‘You are telling me you don’t?’
In defiance of his open scepticism, she shook her head from side to side. ‘Beyond the fact that discovering that your parent has a sex life, which is a bit...uncomfortable...no, I like Sarah.’
‘And the fact she is the cook?’
‘I know you think I’m a snob. She’s probably the best thing that has ever happened to my dad. I just wish he... I wish they’d come out into the open about it. I wish...’ She caught the expression on Kamel’s face and, taking it for boredom, brought her ramble to a juddering stop.
It would be a massive mistake to assume that, because Kamel had seemed to have an endless fascination with her body, his interest extended beyond the bedroom. She knew that any woman would only ever be a substitute for the woman he had lost, Amira. Kamel must have thought nothing could be worse than seeing the woman he loved happy with another man—until he’d found out that there was something much worse.
‘You wish?’
I wish I could look at you and not ache. ‘Forget it.’
It was sex—fantastic, incredible sex—but she had to stop thinking about it.
‘I don’t want to bore you.’
He unclipped his seat belt and stretched his long legs out in front of him. ‘Don’t worry. If you bore me I’ll let you know,’ he promised.
