"I thought it was where we were supposed to store the ashes from the fireplace?"
Ava said, "That doesn't explain why you stuck your hands in it."
"What happened?" I asked.
"Betty stuck her hands in Aunt June," Lauren said matter-of-factly.
"I can't believe you have a dead body here!" Betty was furious.
"It's not a body, technically," I said. "What made you want to put your hands in ash?"
Betty looked really mad. "I don't want to talk about it."
Kelly's eyebrows went up. "I thought we'd left that at camp?"
"Sorry," I apologized. "I brought it with me when I came over to take a bath yesterday. I thought she'd be more at home here."
"Really, Betty," Inez chided. "It's got all those ugly jewels all over it. Why would you even want to open it?"
My brain exploded.
"Hold on!" I ran to the urn. With Rex and Kelly beside me, I knelt down and popped off one of the bedazzled jewels.
Kelly didn't try to stop me but said, "I should tell you not to deface an urn, but it's so ugly, why not." She turned to the girls. "Even though Mrs. Wrath is doing it, it doesn't mean you ever should. Okay?"
"Is it real?" Rex had figured it out right away.
I looked at what might be a diamond in my hands. "I have no idea. How do we know?"
Kelly took it from me. "It doesn't feel like plastic. Do you think this is the treasure?"
"If it is, it does make it seem like she could've been killed for it," I mused. "I could see her having the urn made before she died just to hide the jewels in plain sight."
I finished picking the rest of the stones off of the urn, uttering apologies to Aunt June. Thirty jewels of various sizes and colors felt heavy in my palm.
"I'll take them to a jeweler in Dubuque," Rex said.
Betty spoke up, "'Feel it in my bones!'"
Lauren continued, "'Don't stick your head in the sand!'"
"Yes!" Kelly shouted. "'The cold ashes of love!' All of those could be pointing to the treasure, not the murder!"
CHAPTER TWENTY
Wow. I hadn't thought of that. All of those clues could certainly be about the treasure. But why act as though they were clues to her murder? Did she suspect that the reason she would be killed was for these jewels?
We were no closer to having one suspect. Any one of the three suitors could kill for the treasure, especially if they thought they were going to be dumped for one of the others. But it would rule Nancy out, I think, because she was allegedly motivated by love.
As for Nigel, if his beef was about her running against him for mayor and then turning the town into a tourist hot spot, would the jewels be the motivating factor? Somehow, I didn't think so.
"Tell you what," Rex said. "I'll run into Dubuque, drop these at a jeweler's, and bring back something for lunch."
"Great idea!" I said. "We've had pizza, burgers, and hot dogs, so maybe some fried chicken?"
"Here we go again." Kelly threw up her hands. "I give up on trying to eat the food at camp. Fried chicken sounds perfect."
Rex gave me a quick kiss before he was out the door. Betty ran to the kitchen and washed her hands again, for twenty minutes, as the rest of us started getting ready to eat. The table in the dining room seated eight, and there were eight of us.
My mind ran through the clues dozens of times as I set the table. No matter how I laid it out in my head, I got the same result. The clues all seemed to point to the jewels stuck to the side of the urn.
The thing I couldn't come up with was why Aunt June thought the jewels would lead to her murder. If she was worried someone was coming for her treasure and would kill her for it, why not put it in a safety deposit box in Dubuque—where anyone from Behold was unlikely to touch it—and make it known through town? The news flew fast in this town. If the killer was local, he would know he couldn't access them at her house.
Could it be someone who wasn't from here? Was Aunt June predicting that jewel thieves would descend on Behold, rob, and kill her? Well, that would suck, considering that we'd probably never solve that.
Again, I revisited the idea that the woman was just plain nuts. And if she was, this could all be a wild-goose chase to satisfy an eccentric, lonely old woman's fantasies. In other words, a huge waste of my time.
Oh well. I had Rex, Kelly, and the girls here. And in spite of almost being killed by a frog, it was good spending time with them.
"The table's set," I said to Kelly as I walked back into the kitchen.
"Good," she said. "I found some lemonade mix in the fridge." She nodded toward the screen door, where, on the back porch, five girls were measuring out powder and dumping it into a huge pitcher.
Betty dumped in half a bag of sugar. Since Kelly had turned back to the sink, I decided not to warn her.
Kelly and I washed silverware and serving utensils. There was no telling how long these things had sat in the cupboards unused. I found a drawer full of cloth napkins and added those to the table.
The girls came in and added ice and lemonade to the glasses, mostly without spilling. If Kelly noticed how thick the liquid in the glasses was, she didn't say anything. It was fun working together to organize lunch.
Rex breezed through the doorway half an hour later with two large bags filled with fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and biscuits. We all sat down and helped ourselves.
"So," I said between mouthfuls of buttermilk biscuits. "What did you find out?"
"You weren't gone very long," Betty accused. I noticed that she'd found some white cotton gloves and was wearing them to eat. She must've felt like she still had some ash on her.
Rex passed the bowl of chicken to Lauren. "I dropped them off at the first jewelry store I came across. The jeweler was out to lunch, but the salesgirl said she'd have him call me."
"Well," I said as I reached for my third scoop of potatoes. "We'll wait and see."
My husband continued, "I found out there are nine florists in town. I called all of them while I waited for the food."
My eyebrows went up. "You were checking on Basil's claim?"
"I was. I was hoping I could wheedle the three names out of whoever it was."
We all stopped what we were doing and focused on him.
"And?" Kelly asked.
"I talked to the florists. Not one of them ever made arrangements for anyone in Behold."
"Are you saying that Basil made it up?" I asked. Why hadn't it occurred to me to do that?
"I'm not saying that at all." Rex held up his hands defensively. "I was really hoping to play the detective card and get three names. Now it could mean that they refuse to give out that information and lied to me or that it was the one I couldn't get ahold of who did the arrangements. I don't think it rules out the rumor."
"We were counting on three of the five suspects to be romantic interests." I set down my fork.
"That doesn't mean they aren't," Kelly pointed out. "After all, Dr. Morgan didn't say he wasn't in a relationship with Aunt June."
"And that Oroner Coroner dude," Inez added, "admitted that he was involved."
"You," Betty said, "haven't talked to the postmaster yet."
I agreed. "That's all true. You guys are good."
"Very good," Rex said. "Those are all very good deductions. Nice job!"
Lauren buttered a biscuit. "There has to be at least one boyfriend because Nancy was jealous."
"But Basil said that." Kaitlyn reached for her lemonade. "So maybe it isn't true."
I thought about that. "No, I think it is. That time I talked to her in the café…she gave off a hostile vibe when I mentioned Aunt June."
"A toast!" Kaitlyn held her lemonade up. "To this cool house and awesome camp!"
We all lifted our glasses and drank. Then seven people turned a little green as we swallowed a sort of yellow sugar paste. Hands dove into the biscuit bowl and wolfed them down. All of us…except Betty.
"This lemonade is pre
tty dope," she said before taking another drink.
After the near poisoning, the girls wanted to play tag outside, and I thought that was a good idea. Even though most of us only had one sip of the toxic lemonade, we were all experiencing a sugar buzz. So Kelly, Rex, and I sat on the patio by the river as the girls played tag nearby.
"Five bucks says Betty will live to be over one hundred years old," I said quietly.
"Eating what she does?" Kelly asked, her nurse side kicking in. "I might take that bet if I didn't think we were going to die before she does."
Rex laughed. "It's a sucker bet. She drank half of that pitcher of lemonade, eats things burned to a crisp, and doesn't even get sick. She's got a cast-iron gut."
"Guys!" I shouted as Ava and Kaitlyn ran right to the edge of the river. "That's too far!"
Kelly and Rex turned to see what I was looking at when Ava, standing at the edge of the yard, tripped and fell into the river.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
I was on my feet immediately, kicking off my shoes as I ran to the shore. The other four girls began shouting as Ava floundered in the water. Swim for it! Kick your legs! Don't drown! and the mostly unhelpful, Watch out for the killer river monster!
It bears repeating that the Mississippi River is extremely dangerous, with hidden undertows, whirlpools—not to mention the giant catfish—all of which make it nearly impossible for even the best swimmer to stay afloat. I dove into the water fully clothed and, since she wasn't far from shore, reached Ava easily.
I towed her to the bank and helped her over the edge. Kelly swept the girl away, and Rex reached for my hand. He gripped it along with the other one and began to pull, with my feet scrambling for purchase on the rocky ledge. Except there was no ledge. It was more like a shelf as my feet felt nothing but dead air.
My mind raced to process this as my husband lifted me out of the river. If I hadn't look like a drowned rat, it would've seemed a bit sexy.
"Mrs. Wrath is a hero!" Inez jumped up and down clapping.
Kelly began gently berating the girls for taking such a risk so close to the river. But all I could think about was where was the bank? It didn't seem possible that the yard was some sort of shelf or overhang over the river. It would've collapsed during one of the floods decades ago.
"I'm sorry! I was just looking for the ball!" Ava bleated. "I threw it in, and it went under us."
Betty agreed, "It vanished under the yard. We were looking to see if a river monster had eaten it, and that's when she fell in."
I dropped to my hands and knees and crawled to the river's edge.
"Merry!" Rex pulled me back, but I brushed him off.
"I need to look at something underwater."
"I know!" Kaitlyn said as she ran off.
"You really think you can see through that water?" Rex asked. "They don't call it Old Muddy for nothing."
Kaitlyn appeared and handed me a child-sized scuba mask.
"Where'd you find that?" I asked.
Kaitlyn looked at the other girls. "Um, I found it?"
I guess it would have to do. Letting out the length of the strap as far as it could go, I stretched it over my head and pulled it down over my eyes. It barely covered my eyes and was so tight that I thought it was going to cause permanent damage to my skull.
"She's gonna get eaten by Fred!" Ava shouted.
"Fred?" Rex asked.
Lauren said, as if he'd asked if the sun was shining, "The river monster. I've named him. Saves time from saying all those syllables."
"That makes sense," I said. "Rex, I need you to hold my legs. I need to check something."
Before he could protest, I lay on the muddy edge and dunked my head upside down into the water. Rex was right. I couldn't see anything. The mask was crushing my nose, and the water looked like liquid mud. I reached forward and swung my arms.
Nothing. It was wide open. Bringing my arms up toward me, I finally felt a rocky wall about two feet in length. Or was it a ceiling? Pulling myself back up, I ripped off the mask, handing it to Betty.
"Thank you," she said as she started putting it on. It was then that I noticed she was wearing a wet suit. Was that where the mask had come from?
I grabbed her by the arm. "Oh no, you don't. You're not going in there."
"Because of Fred," Lauren said.
"Don't worry. I have this!" Betty pulled out a harpoon gun, which Rex wisely confiscated.
"No fair!" the girl protested. "Do you realize how long it took me to put this on?"
"Where did you get that?" I craned my neck to see a set of oxygen tanks on her back. I really needed to check my credit card statement.
She shrugged. "I brought them for all the girls. We wanted to go looking for Fred."
I shook my head to clear the water from my ears. "You brought them here?"
Betty wiggled her eyebrows at the other girls, who giggled. "No, I didn't have your credit card back home. I ordered them through Amazon. You're a Prime member, so we got one-day shipping."
"Didn't you notice the packages on the porch when we pulled up?" Inez asked.
Kaitlyn twirled her finger at the side of her head to imply I was nuts. I was starting to believe that I really was.
"Okay, no more using my credit card."
"How did you get them to send you a harpoon gun?" Rex asked as he studied it. He sounded more impressed than chastisey.
"More importantly." Kelly joined us. "Why on Earth did you stick your head in there?"
That's when I noticed she was holding a syringe full of clear liquid.
"What are you going to do with that?"
"It's a tetanus shot," she replied, as if that was a perfectly normal thing to have. "I brought my medical kit just in case. And since you were in there, I'm using it on you and Ava."
"You have a tetanus shot in your bag?" I gaped.
Kelly shrugged. "I have a few of them. Be prepared. I called in a few favors at the hospital before we left."
All five girls shuddered simultaneously. I guess shots were their Kryptonite.
"Okay, but not right now," I requested.
Kelly let her arm drop. "You still didn't answer me."
I tilted my head to one side and smacked it on the other. "When I got out of the river, my feet didn't have any purchase. I think there are caves underneath the property."
Without a word, the girls began putting on wet suits.
"No, no!" I shouted. "Take those off. We aren't going down there."
"Of course we are," Betty argued and nodded at the girls, who began dressing again. "It's the lair of Fred! We need to kill him!"
Lauren raised one finger. "Or we could capture him for science."
"We don't even have lights," I protested.
"Hand me your cell." Betty held her hand out. "I can get them here overnight."
"I mean, we're not going down there." I thought of the garter snake holes we'd found dotting the yard. "I need to check something."
On a hunch, I headed for the garage, leaving Rex and Kelly alone to deal with the lamentations of the troop. Once inside, I found a six-foot-long, hollow metal tube with the end encrusted with dirt. Bingo. I was back in the yard moments later, searching for one of the holes.
I found one and slowly drove the tube into the dirt at the edge of one of the holes, making it even wider.
Kaitlyn appeared. "What are you doing?"
"Do you remember," I said as I gently began pushing the post into the soil, "when we went to that museum in Des Moines last spring? The natural history one?"
"Yeah," Inez answered as she appeared. The other girls circled around us.
"Remember the woman who studied fungus from soil samples?" I asked as Kelly and Rex came over.
"Yeah. Boring," Betty said.
Kelly defended the scientist. "It wasn't boring to her."
"You said it was a good thing that someone had a thing for fungus so you wouldn't have to do that job," Lauren said.
"Well, yes, I d
id say that." Kelly caught my eye. "But that was rude and wrong of me."
I still thought it was boring, but I was now glad we had gone because it gave me this idea. I kept feeding the tube into the dirt until it was only six inches above ground. Then I pulled it up just as slowly. After a few minutes, I pulled it free from the ground.
The rod was heavier, being packed with dirt. But the other end was soaking wet. I'd hit the top of the cave.
The others looked at me expectantly. They just saw me messing with the dirt and most likely believed I'd finally lost it. "I wondered why there were all these holes."
"You said it was garter snakes." Ava eyed me suspiciously.
"I did. That's right. And maybe they are. But even garter snakes don't go this low. At least, I don't think they do."
Rex caught on. "You want to check the soil sample."
"I do. It's probably nothing. In fact, it's most likely a fool's errand. But why did someone do this already? And why was this tool in the garage? Someone was looking for something."
Kelly shrugged. "If Aunt June was planning to sell this plot of land to developers, maybe she was worried about the stability of it. If there are caves underneath, no one would want to build here."
Rex added, "She couldn't sell the land if it was unstable. It makes sense that she was concerned about that. In fact, this whole area was mined hundreds of years ago. For lead. That could explain the cave."
"I agree." I handed him the pole. "Isn't there a river museum in Dubuque? Maybe they have a geologist there."
His eyebrows went up, and he took the pole reluctantly. "You're sending me on a Ned Nickerson errand."
I nodded. "I am. And like I said, this is probably nothing. I just don't want to rule it out. What did Aunt June know? And was she keeping it a secret from potential buyers?"
"Okay," Rex relented. He pulled his car keys out and left.
That was easy.
Two minutes later, he came back around with Betty in tow. "She appeared in a poof of smoke inside my car."
"You really have to stop doing that," Kelly said.
"You really have to tell me how to do that," I whispered to Betty when Kelly looked away.
Mad Money Murder Page 17
