For what I believed to be the first time in Coroner Oroner's The Name Says It All career, the entire town turned to look at him as if for the first time. Had they not known?
"Like I said, no medical experience," I continued. "And people, please don't vote for a medical official just because his name rhymes with the title." I waited a beat for that to sink in. "A coroner with little to no medical experience wouldn't even know what death by spider would look like. And since this coroner in particular told me himself that there hadn't been a murder in the county for thirty years, I suspect there have been a number of murders he's covered up over that time, labelling them as accidents in order to hide his lack of experience."
The room vibrated with the unsaid.
"What are you saying?" Nancy asked at last. "That the doctor and coroner lied?"
"I'll get to that in a minute. Bear with me. With all of that in mind, we thought"—I again indicated Kelly, Rex, and the girls, who preened appropriately—"that this could still be an accident, just a misread one. Another insect could've gotten to her. She could've been allergic to something. We don't really know her medical history.
"But Aunt June had left clues around this house. Clues that confused us at first, but eventually we figured out what happened."
"What do you think happened?" Basil asked.
"I'll get to that. Before we found the clues, there were some rumors that made us wonder. The girls overheard you"—I pointed at Basil—"saying that Aunt June had three suitors who likely didn't know about each other. Love can be a powerful motive in murder. Maybe the most common motive. It wasn't a stretch to think that one of her boyfriends killed her because he felt betrayed."
Nancy's lips formed a tight, pale line.
"And we had a few ideas who those men were. One of them, Pete, admitted that he and Aunt June were an item. But Dr. Morgan and Virgil didn't give away anything. And there was another rumor that Nancy and Aunt June were vying for the same man. Love, betrayal, and jealousy are very solid motives for murder. People have been murdered for less."
Nancy didn't say a word, but Pete looked at her curiously and puffed up like a peacock.
"But I never found any evidence that Dr. Morgan or Virgil were suitors. In fact, I think they were surprised just now to hear that. And that strikes me as odd since this is such a small town. If there's a rumor, everyone has heard it."
Pete nudged Nancy and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, probably assuming that he was the man Nancy allegedly wanted. She ignored him. Murl, sitting on the other side of her, took her hand in his. She smiled at him gratefully.
"In fact, I don't think Pete and Aunt June were dating at all. I think he wanted me to think that so that maybe I'd give him some inkling on my thoughts.
"Which leads to the next rumor that Aunt June had a treasure hidden in the house."
People around the room nodded, indicating that this was a rumor they'd heard.
"You see, no one here seemed to know what she did for a living. They did know that she had a lot of money, that she was an orphan with a huge inheritance. Basil even thought she was a socialite from San Francisco."
A few people leaned forward eagerly.
"She was wealthy. And since she was a bit eccentric, it wouldn't be unthinkable that she had valuables in the form of jewels, art, or gold hidden somewhere on the property.
"As a matter of fact, soon after I got here, Nigel had an insane offer from an anonymous client who wanted to buy the house and all of its contents, sight unseen. So maybe the treasure rumor was true. But was she murdered for it?"
I paused for dramatic effect and because I was thirsty. Why didn't I have a bottle of wine handy? Rex took one look at me and ran to the kitchen. He returned with a glass of water.
The bastard.
"Thank you," I said before taking a sip.
"What is the treasure?" Murl asked.
"So it's true?" Virgil asked.
"Actually, it is true. And I have it. But you can't see it." I wasn't talking about the jewels. I'd decided to leave them out of my monologue. I had something better.
"Why not?" Basil blurted out.
"Because it's classified."
Pete Oroner asked, "What does that mean?"
"Aunt June was independently wealthy. She travelled the world and wined and dined with celebrities and world leaders. She'd be gone for long stretches, mostly in the 1960s and 70s, because she had a job after all."
I allowed a dramatic pause before adding, "Aunt June was a spy."
I waited for this to sink in. It took a few moments, as there were the usual eyes bulging, audible swallowing, and questioning looks.
"She was CIA?" Sheriff Ted asked.
"No, but I thought that too. In fact, since I'm not related to her at all, I had wondered if she'd left everything to me because, in her mind, I'd followed in her footsteps. She wasn't CIA. She was NSA."
"She travelled the world," Jared mused. "Was the treasure stolen art?"
"Nope. It was something much harder to value but no less precious. Her treasure was secrets. Dirt. Blackmailable material."
Many in the room looked at the photos on the walls with renewed interest.
"She was blackmailing celebrities and world leaders?" Hal seemed impressed.
I shook my head. "No. I don't think she ever wanted to use her intel against anyone. They were simply her treasures for her to revisit, recalling her former life as a badass."
Betty stepped forward. "Like me. They call me Badass Betty."
"No," I said quietly, "we don't."
Virgil spoke up for the first time. "And you can't tell us what they were?"
"I can't. The NSA does a certain kind of spying, specifically in how they get intelligence. They don't necessarily do fieldwork. They collect information by listening in, taking pictures, and so on. And because she worked there, I had to turn all of that over to the authorities. They locked it all down. No one will ever know what she had. Well, except for me." And Rex. And Kelly. But I didn't want anyone pressing them for details. So for now, it was just me. If my best friend and husband felt left out, they didn't show it.
"So why was she murdered?" Tommy Maplethorpe asked.
"There were the rumors of love and jealousy. The statement on your website saying the fraud got what she deserved. The possibility of treasure. All of those seemed legit. And there was one other angle to explore.
"That Aunt June was running against Nigel for mayor. That she wanted to sell her house to developers to create a riverside resort. Did Nigel kill her so that he would remain mayor? Is that why there was the absurd offer for the house?"
Everyone waited with bated breath as Rex excused himself and went outside. Within seconds, he reappeared and gave me the thumbs-up. Everything was in place.
"I do believe that Aunt June had a love interest. But it wasn't those three men. In fact, it wasn't any man." This part was tricky for me. I hated sharing the information, but I needed to do so in order to explain. "Aunt June had, at one time, been in a relationship."
"With who?" Pete asked.
I shook my head. "That's not my news to tell."
"It was me." Nancy stood up. "I was Aunt June's girlfriend."
All eyes pivoted to the woman, who sat back and blew out a breath she'd probably been holding since 1995.
Basil stood up and applauded. "Yeah! You go, girl!"
"We were seeing each other," Nancy admitted wearily as Murl's eyes bulged from his head. "We kept it to ourselves because this is a small town. A very closed-minded small town. But it never got serious. AJ wasn't interested in being tied down." She took a deep breath and let it out. "It feels good to finally say it out loud."
"So Nancy killed her!" Hal said triumphantly.
"I didn't kill her!" Nancy shrieked. "I loved her for years. We'd settled into a friendship over the past few years, but I wouldn't have murdered her for that." She turned to me. "How did you find out?"
Earlier I'd decided not to tell t
he woman that the letters had been behind logs in the fireplace. It seemed cruel. "Among her treasures were some love letters from you." I reached behind a book on the bookcase and pulled out a bundle wrapped in a blue ribbon. "I didn't include them in the stuff I gave the NSA. And I'm sorry for outing you like this. I wasn't going to name you."
I was wondering if I'd made a terrible mistake. Had I gotten carried away and indirectly outted Nancy? If anyone in this room understood how awful it was to be outted against your will, it was me.
"It's okay." Nancy smiled weakly as she took the letters. "I'm glad it's out. But you could've warned me."
Murl sputtered, "But I thought you and I…"
She patted his hand. "We are. That part of my life is over. You're the person I love now."
Murl appeared to accept that. He did a little nodding wiggle of his head before turning back to me.
"If it isn't Nancy," Nigel asked, "who killed Aunt June and why?"
Finally. It was time. "I'd have thought it was obvious," I said. "It was you."
Nigel blanched.
"And you." I pointed at his brother Hal. "And you." I indicated Basil.
"And you too." I pointed at Dr. Morgan, Coroner Pete, and the sheriff. "You all colluded to kill her."
"That's half the town!" Maplethorpe cried out.
"It is." I spotted a couple of Iowa State Troopers through the doorway to the study behind everyone. The lawmen gave me a brief nod.
"Don't be ridiculous!" Nigel shouted. "Sheriff! I demand that you arrest that woman for disorderly conduct."
Ted started to his feet, but Ed grabbed his arm and forced him back into his seat.
"Why would I kill her?" Basil whined. "She was my friend! I did her hair!"
I noticed he hadn't objected about anyone else I'd accused—including his brothers.
"Because she was going to open up the town. I wondered, when I got here, why all the decaying buildings to make it look like a ghost town? Because you don't want the town opened up to tourists or, more importantly, to anyone who'd snoop and find out how valuable the land really is."
"What are you talking about?" Murl asked.
"This land isn't valuable!" Nancy snorted. "It's on top of a bunch of old lead mines!"
"Oh, but it is. You see, it all comes back to Aunt June. She wanted to bring in tourists. She felt that all this beauty was going to waste. She wanted to become mayor to change things for the good of the town!
"But there was a secret. A secret that her killers knew. Aunt June's land wasn't just a pretty piece of property." I held up the letter from the university. "A local university's geological study found that deep under a city in Minnesota, there were minerals so valuable that they were worth trillions of dollars. And recently, they'd been working their way down the Mississippi to test other sites. Aunt June had let them do that on her property, not really thinking anything of it. When she found out that the land beneath her home could be harboring trillions of dollars in mineral rights, she was shocked. The mines underneath her property made it too dangerous to build a large resort. I believe she was still trying to figure out how to cash in and build the resort when she was murdered. This letter came after she'd died, and the test results confirmed that the valuable minerals were indeed there."
I turned to Dr. Morgan, who was just sitting there, staring into space. "I think you supplied the syringe with some sort of poison. One of you injected into her twice to make it look like spider bites. I've sent her ashes to a lab, but I doubt they'll find anything conclusive.
"I also talked to the university last night. They said you had called to ask in hopes of identifying the toxin just three days before she died. I don't know how you found out. Maybe Aunt June confided in you and then told Nigel and his brothers? But they needed your help and the sheriff and coroner to sign off on the cause of death."
The doctor said nothing.
"Regardless of the parts you all played, the real ringleaders were the Hickenlooper brothers. I think they came up with the plan. Afterward, if necessary, Basil would launch some rumors should anyone come around asking questions. I think you got the idea from the old tale of Princess Badger Tooth and her three suitors. And Nigel, being AJ's lawyer, hoped he could convince me, as her only heir, to sell the house to them."
I looked at him. "Am I right?"
The three brothers said nothing.
"That kind of confirms it for me. You really shouldn't have watched me that night at camp. Or tried to kill me with the golden poison frog in my bathtub. Or chased me across the ropes course. Or locked me in a room with a scorpion yesterday. I have no idea which one of you it was. Maybe all three."
"What are you saying?" Hal squeaked, his cool demeanor gone.
"I'm saying I didn't have any proof that a murder had taken place. It was all of those things, including the three attempts on my life, that solidified the idea that she'd been murdered. If you guys had done nothing, I'd never have known and probably would've sold you the house."
"Who wrote that nasty comment on the funeral page?" Tommy asked with a raised hand.
"I think it had to be one of them. Maybe they had hoped it would take my investigation in another direction. But it, and the rumors about Nancy and the three men, were just red herrings."
The Hickenloopers jumped to their feet and tried to make a break for it as Ed put handcuffs on Ted and read him his rights. Pete and Dr. Morgan remained in their seats with grim expressions.
The Iowa State police swarmed, taking the suspects into custody.
Once the suspects and agents were gone, Nancy, Murl, Jared, Virgil, and Tommy Maplethorpe still remained. The girls offered to give them a tour, and the gob-smacked townspeople took them up on it.
"Go ahead and look through the house," I insisted. "Just be careful of the third floor."
Everyone dispersed, except for Nancy, who came over to me.
"Nancy, I am so sorry," I apologized. "I never wanted to out anyone."
She put her hand on my arm. "Don't worry about it. Let people talk. I've got Murl now. Besides, I'm so grateful that you figured this all out. I'd hate to think those Hickenloopers could've won. They deserve what they get."
My eyes roved over the walls to the photos of a smiling Aunt June with all those famous people. "I just wish I had known her."
Nancy winked and tucked the letters into her purse. "It's too bad. She would've loved you." Then she began to wander around also.
I decided that Nancy and Virgil should take something they wanted to remember Aunt June by. I mentioned it to Kelly and Rex, and they ran after the two to pass on the message.
Slumping into a chair, it felt like I'd been hit by a truck. Metaphorically, of course. I really had been hit by a truck once while in Uruguay. The driver was blind and didn't see me step into the street. Why they let him drive was beyond me. But since I wasn't really hurt, I let it go. That was probably a bad decision in hindsight.
All the adrenaline that had sustained me through the big reveal now drained out of me. How did Nancy Drew manage it every time? Then again, she was eighteen and fit, and I was older and not.
Getting up, I stretched and made my way to the kitchen to open and drain a bottle of wine. I'd earned it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Back at camp after lunch at Nancy's, we packed up everything. Rex and I took a small break to visit the Indian burial mounds and have a little romantic moment on the bluffs overlooking the river.
"This was fun!" I pulled Rex into my arms. "You make a great Nancy Drew."
"I'm going to concede the title of Nancy Drew to you," Rex laughed. "I'm still awaiting the solving of one mystery. Namely, what you will do with Aunt June's house."
I thought for a moment. "It's tricky. On the one hand, I've considered selling and donating all the money to a charity. But whoever wins the rights might go for the bluffs here too and undermine Camp des Morts. On the other, it would be nice to honor Aunt June's original wish and sell to someone who might
turn it into a bed and breakfast."
"You're not thinking of adding a third house to the mix?" my husband asked.
"No. Not really. I already have two, and this one is three and a half hours away."
Rex considered this. "I don't think you should rush into the decision too soon. What about the stuff in the house?"
"The bugs are all going to a zoo in Milwaukee. I got a call from the zoo director earlier. But not the frog. I'm keeping him."
My husband didn't look surprised in the least. "What are we going to do with him?"
"I don't know, but I'll build him a nice enclosure. Maybe I can get him a friend. I figure we can take a week off in the near future to come up here and go through things. Just the two of us. Maybe the pets."
Rex seemed to approve. "Back at the house, I heard Jared telling the funeral director that he was thinking about running for sheriff."
"That's an interesting idea. Nancy would make a great mayor. She could clean this town up and make it a tourist destination. They do have the world's largest human tooth and one of the best diners in Iowa."
Rex kissed me, making my toes curl. "Take your time to figure it all out. There's no rush. We could visit in the fall when the leaves are turning. And we'd have a place to stay."
"I would consider coming up here again." I looked around. "And Camp des Morts really is amazing. It would be nice to bring the other girls here."
Rex looked at the burial mounds. "So are you sad that there are no aliens?"
"Nope. I'm especially happy that there are no ghosts. It makes for great campfire stories, but can you imagine those girls and a ghost in the same location?"
"It's not like you needed another thing to deal with." Rex took my hand as we walked back to where Kelly and the girls had loaded the van with all of our gear.
Rex took off to get gas and meet up with us. Secretly, I relished the thought that it was like having our own police escort.
A middle-aged man approached us dressed in a Camp des Morts polo shirt, khakis, and muddy hiking boots.
"Hey, ladies." He held out his hand. "I'm Ned Nickerson, camp ranger."
Mad Money Murder Page 22
