by Shayla Black
With a frown, she stared at the man. What the hell did he want her to say?
“There might be some of that trout leftover from yesterday’s lunch,” Hammer suggested.
“For breakfast? Gross!” Then she understood the game. Not just communication, but complete communication. “I’d really like two eggs over easy with salt and pepper, please. With that, I want one piece of lightly buttered toast, a banana, and a glass of orange juice—without pulp, if you have it—Sirs.”
Hammer chuckled as Liam flashed a broad grin.
“Much better.” Hammer cupped her chin and held her in a passionate gaze before he bent and pressed a hungry kiss to her lips.
Raine longed for him to devour her whole. She shoved away the tinge of disappointment when he released her.
“I’m sure you’ll earn exactly what you want,” Hammer responded as if he could read her mind. “Now hop into the shower and get cleaned up. We’ll meet you in the kitchen.”
Liam stood and pulled her into his arms, laying a lingering kiss on her lips. “When you come down, be wearing this, love. This—and nothing else. Do we make ourselves clear?”
“Yes, Sir.” Liam’s commanding mien filled her, and Raine felt the jolt of it all the way to her toes as she bowed her head. Warmth and excitement melded with her love for him. “I won’t be long. I promise.”
“Good lass.” Liam lifted her chin to him and kissed her one last time. “Don’t make us wait.”
Watching them walk away, she felt almost giddy to get on with the rest of the day. Her soul overflowed with serenity. As she made her way into the spacious bathroom, Raine was determined to hold tight to the tranquility that filled her.
#
Raine fidgeted with the belt of the silk robe Liam and Hammer had instructed her to wear. As she descended the stairs, the panoramic view from the windows in the great room revealed a fresh layer of white powder blanketing the ground. The spindles of bare trees rose up to the blue sky. Everything looked hushed, peaceful.
From the kitchen, she heard male voices and laughter, along with the clatter of dishes. The aroma of fresh coffee and bacon filled the house. Her mouth watered and her tummy growled in response.
She smiled as she entered the room and spied the four men seated around the massive wooden table, looking impossibly handsome and thoroughly male. Catching sight of her, they rose in unison. She paused, startled by their intent stares. Testosterone saturated the room. Her nipples pebbled hard and tight against the silk. A flush warmed Raine’s breasts and rose up her neck to heat her cheeks as she glanced from face to face. She saw nothing but welcome in each. Raine marveled that such busy, sought-after men cared enough to give her their time and energy.
Despite the fluttery, female sensation, Raine felt safe and lovely as they suffused her with unswerving attention.
Dropping her gaze to her toes, she greeted them softly. “Good morning, Sirs.”
“Hey, princess. How you feeling?” Beck asked as he plucked up his dirty plate and took it to the sink, along with his utensils.
“I’m fine, thank you. Just famished,” she replied as Beck rinsed the plate.
“Come. Sit beside us, precious.” Shifting forward, Hammer wrapped his hand around her elbow and eased her into the chair between him and Liam.
The rest of the men took their seats and resumed eating.
Settling back, Raine couldn’t forget dinner the night before. Were they planning to spend another day touching and tormenting her? It would be worth it if they ended the night with sizzling pleasure again.
Beside her, Liam wrapped a hand around her thigh and sent her a seductive smile that made her tingle.
“I’ll rustle you up some breakfast.” Beck smiled before filling a plate near the stove. He’d looked out for her for years, long before she’d realized he wasn’t just a sadist, but a friend. He’d been a godsend when she’d sought him out at the hospital. His easy care now filled her with gratitude.
“Thank you.”
Seated across the table, Seth sipped his coffee. “You look well rested, Raine. How confident would you say you feel about completing your task today, on a scale of one to ten?”
Darting a quick look between Hammer and Liam, she tried to decipher their expressions, get some read on their plans. Nothing. “They haven’t given me a clue what to expect, so I’ll say a six for now.”
Beck chuckled as he set her breakfast, exactly as she had requested, on the table in front of her. “And not knowing is eating you up, isn’t it?”
Raine really wanted to stick her tongue out at him, but managed to refrain. Instead, she ignored his question and focused on her food. “Everything looks great. Thanks.”
That only made Beck laugh more.
“Go ahead, precious. Eat,” Hammer encouraged. “Liam and I need to head upstairs and get your room set up. It will only take a few minutes. Beck and Seth will keep you company.”
“And Raine?” Liam leveled her with a formidable stare. “Remember, they’re here for you, too. We expect you to follow their instructions and give your obedience. Is that understood?”
She hesitated. A dozen questions sat on the tip of her tongue, but she silenced them. They’d asked for her trust, among other things. Yesterday, they’d more than earned it. “Yes, Sirs.”
“Good girl.” Hammer brushed a finger across her cheek. Her heart skipped a beat. “Enjoy your breakfast. We’ll see you shortly.”
She nodded, watching as they rose and took their plates to the sink before leaving the room. Nearby, Beck stood facing her, ankles and arms crossed as he leaned against the counter, watching her eat. Normally she’d hate that, but he was on her side. Besides, nothing fazed her too much this morning.
She moaned in appreciation at the first bite, then quickly devoured everything on her plate. Afterward, Raine relaxed back and sipped her orange juice, wondering what Hammer and Liam were preparing for her and if Beck and Seth had more questions this morning.
They didn’t make her wait long.
“Full, princess?”
“Stuffed. It was delicious.”
“Good, then let’s get started.” Seth smiled tightly. “Stand in the center of the room and remove your robe. Fold it neatly on the floor and kneel.
Then she’d be naked. And the looks on their faces told her they knew it. “I, um… Hammer and Liam…”
“What’s the matter, princess? Is nudity a hard limit for you?” Beck challenged.
“No, Sir. I just…” Respect their instructions and give your obedience. Liam’s edict echoed in her head.
Neither man so much as parted their lips to explain their intent. They merely waited for her to comply.
Slowly, she rose and moved to the center of the room. Obviously, this exercise was meant to shove her off-balance. Again. She took a deep breath and focused. Hammer and Liam had devised this task, and Raine understood their intentions. Open up for the men you love. They’ve asked you to peel away the layers and allow yourself to be vulnerable.
After she unknotted the belt, she slipped the robe off her shoulders. Swallowing a lump of nerves, she eased it off. Nudity may not have been a hard limit for her, but without Hammer and Liam—her lifelines—she found it more than a little uncomfortable. But she pressed on.
Carefully folding the robe, she placed it on the floor, then gracefully sank to her knees. Palms resting upward on her spread thighs, she straightened her spine and thrust out her chest before bowing her head respectfully.
Beck lingered at the counter. She felt his assessing gaze. She heard the scrape of Seth’s chair again before he approached, the tips of his shoes visible as he stood in front of her.
Bending low, he cupped her chin and lifted her face to meet his gaze. “Don’t shy away, Raine. You’re a beautiful woman and you have nothing to fear from us. Think of me and Beck as your mentors, arbiters in case of dispute, and your chief cooks and bottle washers.”
Beck pulled away from the counter and handed S
eth a piece of paper, which he promptly passed over to Raine.
“Read everything on the page aloud to us, princess,” Beck drawled, sidling up to the other man. “One by one.”
Raine stared at the handwriting, recognizing Hammer’s familiar scrawl. She scanned the page, blinking.
“Affirmations? Really?” She spit out the questions, recoiling as if they’d placed a sour pickle on her tongue. “Ugh.”
Beck just grinned. “Get busy.”
She exhaled something just shy of a scoff. They expected her to say this aloud? She shuddered at the thought. Focused on the paper fluttering in her hands, she ignored the meaning behind them.
“I will open myself up and share, not only my needs, but my emotions.” The phrase spilling from her lips sounded monotone, the sentiment hollow.
“Continue. A little more enthusiasm would be nice,” Beck chided.
“I will be totally honest at all times without fear of embarrassment or reprisal. Nor will I hold back for fear of hurting someone’s feelings.” Raine sighed and stared up at the two men eyeing her with critical gazes. “I get the value of communicating. You two made that really clear. So did they. But I’m not used to sharing every little thought that pops into my head.” She gave them an exasperated frown. “I’m really supposed to say, ‘Oh, I think I’ll wear a pink thong today? No wait, Sirs, can I wear the blue pair instead?’ Or, ‘When I brush my teeth, is it okay if I start with my molars first and work my way forward?’ And, ‘Should I eat the ice cream or the bran muffin?’ I mean, seriously?”
“That’s not what the affirmation means,” Seth barked, his brows creased in anger. “No wonder they always want to spank your ass.”
“What they’re asking is impossible. If I just blurt everything out, they’ll be hurt or pissed off all the time. I don’t mean to, but… Why is being sensitive to others suddenly bad?”
“They are grown men who can deal with their feelings, Raine,” Seth scolded. “That’s not your concern.”
“Totally honest,” Beck stressed. “If you’re truthful about your thoughts and emotions as you experience them and express them in the non-brattiest way possible, you shouldn’t have any problem.”
“What does that even mean? I’m not trying to be bratty, but—”
“Let me make this black and white for you.” Seth scowled at her. “You could have saved yourself a hell of a lot of pain if you’d simply leveled with Liam. Instead of avoiding him, you should have said, ‘Sir, my period is late. I’m scared. Talk to me. Hold me. What happens with us if I end up pregnant with Hammer’s baby?’”
His words gouged her deep. Guilt that she’d hidden nearly everything from Liam all but crushed her beneath its weight. Even more debilitating was the realization that she hadn’t trusted that he would stick by her side, despite the fact that he’d asked her to repeatedly.
A sob caught in her chest as she launched to her feet and spun away. How many times had he told her he loved her? How many ways had he tried to prove it? God, she’d been such a fool. Raine had spent so much time convincing herself that her slightest misstep would send Liam running for the door. She should have shared her fears and worries, but instead, she’d cut him off and severed the very artery that could have given their relationship life.
Seth’s warm hands cupped her shoulders as he moved in behind her. She felt his warm breath against her ear.
“I’m sorry, Raine. I didn’t mean to upset you.” She couldn’t miss the depth of remorse in Seth’s whisper. “I was trying to explain the difference between the mundane and the important. If there’s something you feel you need to hide, that’s a red flag, and you need to say those words aloud. Sharing your feelings is the only way to maintain a healthy rapport with your Doms. Do you understand?”
Raine swiped the tears away and sniffed before she gave a shaky nod. “Yes, Sir.”
“Good,” Seth praised as he turned her back to face him. “Let’s continue.”
She glanced toward Beck as she eased herself down to the robe again. Raine could see the sympathy in his eyes, but his expression was resolute. She needed to find the same determination and see these affirmations through.
Looking down at the list, she inhaled a steely breath. “No one has control over any aspect of my life unless I choose to give them my gift.”
“What comes to mind when you say those words, princess?” Beck urged.
“You know.” She tried to give a nonchalant shrug. “My father.”
“You took back your power from that animal in no uncertain terms. I’m glad I got to see that.” Pride glowed from Beck’s face.
“What does that affirmation mean to you in terms of Hammer and Liam?” Seth asked.
Raine paused, sorting through her thoughts. “That I have the choice whether or not I give myself over to them.”
“Excellent,” Seth praised. “You’re doing that right now, and they thrive on your power. It’s what fulfills them. But how does it make you feel?”
“Centered.”
“I think she’s getting it.” Beck sounded pleased.
“Okay, sweetheart. Last one.” Seth nodded to the paper in her hand.
“I deserve…” Raine stumbled over the words, rereading them again. She felt Seth’s assessing stare. The longer she stalled, the stronger she felt his impatience.
“Keep going. Tell us what you deserve.” Seth’s tone was soft but teemed with Dominant command.
She swallowed the lump of reservation in her throat. “I deserve happiness.” The next words were harder to get out. “And love.”
Did she? Maybe the better question was, why didn’t she? She wasn’t a bad person. She’d never intentionally hurt people. Why shouldn’t she have some happiness? Some love? So many cracks marred her soul. She’d spent her life striving to feel worthy. But the past was behind her, and if she kept her courage intact along this journey, maybe Hammer and Liam would work their magic, and she’d finally smooth away every jagged hurt and be whole.
“You do,” Beck reassured. “I know you doubt that from time to time, but deep down, you know it’s true.”
Seth crouched down in front of her again. “Raine, look at me.”
He waited silently until she mustered the courage to raise her head and show him her uncertainty, her insecurities.
He smiled. “I know this is hard, but we’re proud you got the words out. Next time, convince us that you’re not just reciting these words, but that you believe them.”
It sounded as much fun as being waterboarded, but she knew they only meant to help. “I’ll do my best, Sir.”
“That’s all we’re asking. Now, tell us why you’re having trouble accepting that statement as fact.”
“My father convinced me I wasn’t good enough.” She shrugged self-consciously. “If you hear it enough, you believe it. Liam told me that it was time for my head to start listening to my heart.”
“I think Liam is a very wise man. And he loves you very much. You should listen to him.” Seth smiled gently.
“They’re ready for you upstairs, princess.” Beck extended his hand to her. “Slip your robe back on and they’ll meet you on the landing.”
Raine let Beck help her to her feet. “Thank you, Sirs, for helping me sort everything out.”
Seth watched as she wrapped the sash around her waist, then he took over, tying it into a loose knot. “Think long and hard about your affirmations while you do your task today. They’ll help.”
And with that, Seth placed a sweet kiss on her forehead before he shooed her out of the kitchen.
#
At the top of the stairs, Hammer tapped his foot impatiently, watching Raine ascend. The little red robe swished around her thighs, cinched her waist, caressed her hard nipples. He squeezed the length of silk rope in his hand. Beside him, anticipation rolled off Liam.
Today wouldn’t be easy, but if it went well, it would be satisfying as fuck.
As she drew closer, her gaze bounced between
them, her expression looking a little shaken—definitely more nervous than she had before breakfast—but determined.
Liam took her elbow and led her between them, down the hall, to the playroom. Once inside, Hammer shut the door, watching Raine. She stared at the padded table they’d outfitted in the middle of the room, again lit only by the array of candles, and drew in an audible breath.
“Something wrong, love?” Liam asked.
She seemed to gather herself, then shook her head. “No, Sir. I’m a bit uneasy. I’m not sure what to expect or what to do. But I guess you’ll tell me, right? Should I be on my knees or on that?”
When she pointed to the bondage bed, Hammer stepped in front of her and looped a finger under her belt. “We appreciate such a complete answer. But I want you to focus on me for a moment. Keep what you learned yesterday in mind. Communication will be critical. Today’s task is about honesty.”
Raine blanched. “I know it’s important, but sometimes the truth hurts people. I try to avoid upsetting anyone.”
“There’s a difference between saying something gently and lying. No one wants to be lied to, Raine,” Hammer pointed out. “Didn’t you have an affirmation about that earlier this morning?”
“Since you wrote them, you know I did, Sir. Seth pointed out that I can’t be responsible for how others feel, but I just don’t know how to look someone in the eye and upset them.”
His gaze softened. “Seth is right. Your responsibility is to communicate the truth, not to worry about how it affects us.”
He let that sink in and waited until acceptance flitted across her face. “I’ll do my best, Sir.”
Liam took her hand. “Talk to us throughout this exercise and do what we tell you. All will be well.”
“Let’s begin.” Hammer brushed a soft kiss over her lips, then slipped the knot around her waist free.
Liam moved behind her and took the robe from her slender shoulders. He hung it from the doorknob, then together, they led her to the side of the raised table.
“Climb up, precious.”
Casting a quick glance between the two of them again, she braced her palms on the padded surface. With his hands gripping her hips, Liam helped her up. Hammer waited on the other side, wrapping his arms around her torso to steady her.
