by Shayla Black
“I half expected you to,” Liam admitted. “But I’m glad I meant enough to you that you didn’t like the thought of seducing him just to hurt me.”
“I’ve never wanted to hurt you,” she swore, then sent a pleading stare Hammer’s way. “Or you. The last thing you wanted to hear was me crying about Liam. Besides, I thought that without me there, you two might fix your friendship. I didn’t want to be in the way anymore.”
Hammer didn’t like it…but he understood her point.
“Look at me.” He didn’t say another word until she did. “No matter what’s happening in your life, Raine, if you need anything, I always want you to come to me.”
“But you couldn’t fix it, Sir. No one could.” She sent a remorseful stare Liam’s way. “It was my doing.”
“You have no idea what I’m capable of, precious. So don’t imagine that I couldn’t have helped. You didn’t give me a fucking chance.”
“You really didn’t give me one, either. You just left, even after I told you not to run away,” Liam pointed out. “Did you not believe we’d worry about you?”
“I thought you might,” she confessed softly.
“Might?” Hammer barked.
“That’s why I went to Beck. I told him to let you two know that I was okay.”
“And you thought Beck should be your messenger boy instead of calling us yourself?” Liam glared her way. “Did you honestly think we wouldn’t be frantic to find you? Bloody hell, we were out of our heads.”
“I know.” She grimaced, and Hammer could see the worry on her face again. “I saw you. I was in Beck’s car, and you two were running into the hospital.”
Hammer’s jaw ticked and he fought like hell not to lose his mind. “And you didn’t make him stop? Turn around and flag us down?”
Liam shot him a fierce scowl, and Hammer figured he must not have done a great job at hiding his anger.
“I needed more time to sort things out. I wasn’t ready to talk to either of you. But I picked up my phone at least a hundred times to call. I missed your voices.” She sniffled. “I missed you.”
“Then don’t put any of us through that again,” Liam demanded. “Tell us that you’ll stand and fight and face your problems when things get tough.”
“Say it.” Hammer leaned into her face, teeth clenched.
Liam bent to her ear. “We want to hear it, Raine. Promise us you’ll never run again.”
She hesitated, seeming to wrestle with her thoughts. Fear gripped her expression, then she gathered herself, dug up courage, and nodded. The play of emotions entranced him. His triumph spiked.
“All right,” she whispered. “I won’t run again. I promise.”
Hammer felt the tension drain from his body. He sighed with relief. Liam pressed a kiss to her forehead, then nuzzled her cheek. Hammer kissed her shoulder, her neck, her lips for a soft moment. “Thank you, precious. We needed to hear that.”
“We did.” Liam agreed and sent a stare his way, reaching for Raine’s ropes. He wanted her free.
Fuck, yes. As much as he enjoyed her bound, Hammer wanted to hold her more. Clearly, Liam did, too. Raine had given them so much today. Her honesty—even when it hurt. Her promise—even when it cost her. Christ, she was stunning.
Together, he and Liam worked the knots, starting at the rope across her shoulders. The first binding slithered free and fell to the carpet with a soft thud. A soft pink pattern with the rope’s imprint embossed her skin. For the first time, he saw Raine wearing the marks of his dominance. Not the bruises he’d given her when he’d fucked her mindlessly that drunken night, but the stamps of his possession dancing over her flesh when he’d worked with Liam to control her. Holy shit, the sight made his cock throb.
“Hammer?” Liam prodded him, already untying the binding across her hips.
With a nod, he rushed to catch up, unknotting the silk around her upper arms, under her breasts, then releasing the cuffs holding her wrists before finishing at her hips and ankles.
Raine sat up, reaching for them as quickly as they lunged for her. She pressed herself against Liam’s chest and buried her face in his neck even as she reached her free hand to him, and Hammer used it to draw himself closer, meshing his back to hers. So small, so fragile. So brave.
He loved her.
“You did so good today,” Liam said. “Your promise to stay and work things out means the world.” He pulled back enough to search her eyes. “I’m going to hold you to it, love.”
She smiled softly. “After seeing how quickly you tracked me down, I believe you. But I’m here now. I’m staying. I feel like…we’ve all walked through fire. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. But today, it felt really wonderful to just say what I thought and for you to be okay with it. Everything I said today was honest.” She stared deep, conveying the truth of her words. “Everything.”
Liam kissed her softly. “Oh, Raine. I love you, too.”
After a soft press of lips, she turned his way, and Hammer’s heart stopped at the love in her eyes. No coyness. No anger. No hiding. It was just…there.
Hammer didn’t even try to stop himself from grabbing her and covering her lips with a frantic kiss. And he didn’t hold back an ounce of his burning love. Now wasn’t the time to tell her, but he damn well intended to before they left this mountain.
At the moment, he settled for wrapping his arms around her. Liam did the same. No one said anything for a long moment. The silence conveyed everything they’d accomplished—and didn’t speak a word about what came next, as if the hush of now was sacred.
“Did I pass the test?” She grinned at them.
Liam’s grip tightened. “You did. Let our arms hold you to us every bit as securely as our ropes. We’ve got you.”
And Hammer didn’t intend to let go. He wanted to inhale her, meld her against him. He wanted to own her. He’d almost had the chance. If his timing had been different, if she’d been fertile that night… Not that he wanted to force her into becoming his, but would she have fought it that hard? Or would she have been happy? Honestly, he didn’t know.
And he was desperate to.
Hammer gripped her face and brought her gaze to his, searching her eyes. “Raine, you were crying on Thanksgiving day. Because you were relieved you weren’t pregnant? Or disappointed because you wanted to be?”
Chapter 18
Liam felt her body stiffen against him as his gut churned. What would Raine say? He could pretend it didn’t matter, that it was all history now and best left there if he—they—intended to move forward. But Hammer wasn’t going to rest until he got answers.
“Tell you what,” Liam suggested. “Let’s settle you in your bed where it’s warm and comfortable, then finish the conversation there.”
“No.” Hammer shook his head. “Liam, I’ve waited. A few days ago, I thought I’d never see her again. This is the time for honesty. Let her answer first.”
Then Hammer turned back to Raine, pinning her with a stare that demanded the unvarnished truth.
“I…” She sighed, bringing her hands up to cling to Hammer’s wrists as he held her face. “Oh, what does it matter now, Macen? I wasn’t pregnant, just late.”
“You know damn well it matters. I need your honesty. I need an answer,” he demanded, even as she tried to break his hold and hide. “Don’t hide from me. It’s another form of running away.”
Liam gritted his teeth, but Raine couldn’t be allowed to retreat—even if he didn’t want to hear the truth. “Answer him, Raine.”
Wrapped around her side, he felt her trembling, heard her hitch in a sobbing breath. Liam opened his mouth to calm her and defuse the tension.
“What do you want to hear, Macen? That I was devastated not to be pregnant? That I wanted to be the mother of your child? That something inside me had entertained the impractical hope that maybe I would carry the life you’d created inside me and have a part of you always?” Slow tears slid down her cheeks.
Ha
mmer gripped her tighter. They locked stares. His eyes looked as glassy, as haunted, as hers.
“Goddamn it, I want the truth,” Macen insisted.
“Fine,” she wailed, her back straightening. “Of course I was disappointed. I love you. I’ve wanted you for so long that I don’t remember what it feels like not to want you.”
Each word hacked at Liam’s heart like a knife, slicing him to pieces. Fuck. You wanted honesty. You got it. Enjoy that bitter pill.
Raine swiped at her tears and bowed her head, dropping her voice to a whisper Liam had to lean in to hear. “But I wasn’t pregnant, so it’s all moot now. It would have been an impossible situation, anyway. Not carrying your child in my womb meant I could have a life with Liam, and…” She drew in a shaking breath. “And in the end, I was happier about that. Oh god, I’m sorry, Macen.”
Her face crumbled as she reached blindly for Hammer. He gathered her close and held her, rocking her gently.
“It wasn’t planned, I know. But I wanted that child with you so damn bad.” Hammer confirmed Liam’s greatest fear. “Christ, I kept picturing a daughter as beautiful as her mother.”
Raine laughed through her tears, clinging to Macen’s shoulders. “And I’d hoped for a boy, just like his father.”
The earth’s axis shifted beneath Liam. She’d wanted Hammer’s baby. But she’d wanted him more? Raine’s sorrow, along with the heartfelt confessions she and Hammer shared, told Liam that she wasn’t at peace. But damn it, he wasn’t, either.
There was no sense in trying to convince himself that his world hadn’t just blown up in his face, that his dreams of sharing a life with this woman, just the two of them, lay dying around him. A vise gripped his heart. He couldn’t bloody breathe as he swallowed the urge to roar out that any life growing in Raine’s womb would be his—and his alone.
But instead of erupting with the injustice of it all, he had to put on an act worthy of a goddamn Oscar and watch sobs shake Raine. He had to see Macen cradle her as they shared grief. And he couldn’t say a damn thing or he’d risk destroying her.
As they clung to one another, Liam felt fucking invisible. And that broke his heart more than anything.
He reached beneath Raine, lifting her gently so he could move back and stand apart.
She whirled on the table, bracing herself on the padded surface, and turned devastated eyes to him. “Don’t. Please… This is the biggest reason I never wanted to talk about how late my period was or whether I was pregnant. No matter what I said, someone would be hurt. You’ve done so much for me, sacrificed your feelings so I could break through my barriers. Whatever you believe, I do love you. And I knew the minute I opened my mouth, I could do more damage to you than we might ever recover from.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m just giving you some room, is all.” He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it, hoping she wouldn’t notice his shaking fingers. He couldn’t even look at Hammer. “Of course you were disappointed. Why wouldn’t you be? I know you want children someday.”
“But, I—”
“You don’t have to explain.” Liam forced himself to keep his voice even and calm. “Hammer is going to carry you to bed, love. Rest up for a bit. It’s been a big morning, and you were so brave. I’m proud of you, Raine.”
How bittersweet was it that she’d finally given him exactly the answer he’d sought two long weeks ago. And just as she’d feared, it had annihilated him.
“Stay with me,” she begged.
“I’ll be here. Go on with Hammer. He needs time with you. I think you need it, too. If you’re up for it, we’ll take a walk outside after lunch, maybe throw a snowball or two. But for now, get some rest. You’ve earned it.”
Raine gave him a sad, watery nod, then turned back to Hammer. The other man scooped her up in his arms and waited while Liam opened the door to the playroom. He followed them to her bedroom. Inside, Liam inched back the covers and watched in helpless fury as Hammer lay beside her and drew her into his arms again.
Liam bent to kiss her before leaving, but her tears and Hammer’s tender endearments began again. This time they were too much for his crumbling composure. Silently, he retreated and went in search of solitude to ease his torment.
#
As the day wore on, Liam fought the acid brewing in his gut. With a controlled smile firmly in place, he’d managed to scrape through lunch. Even Raine and Hammer had been subdued, so sitting back and letting Beck and Seth try to lighten the mood had been easy. Hammer hadn’t fucked Raine, so he could be grateful for that one small mercy. If Macen had, Liam would have heard it as he paced in his room next to hers.
After lunch, he’d survived the hike with Hammer and Raine in the newly fallen snow, giving them stilted smiles and monosyllables. Liam had hoped breathing in the frosty air would cool his simmering anger or that taking in winter’s beauty might ice his pain. But Hammer’s presence only added fuel to the slow burn inside him. He’d held her hand, knowing that his “pal” held the other. It added some nasty kindling to his blaze.
Dinner had been a complete misery. Raine looked positively stunning in something tiny, white, and lacy. Liam hadn’t chosen it, so he could only presume Hammer had. Of course, he’d absolutely loved being cut off at the balls about Raine’s attire. He snorted. Macen hadn’t noticed his mood or cared. To Raine’s credit, she’d sat in his lap through part of the meal and tried to soothe him with kisses. He’d accepted her affection, taking her sweet mouth time and again, and trying to smother his ire.
Since tucking Raine into bed an hour ago, the temperature of Liam’s fury had risen. Now seated on the great room’s sofa, begrudgingly engaged in another debriefing session, he struggled to keep the conflagration under control. But the fuse burned shorter and hotter with every minute he had to endure Hammer’s presence.
Tossing back a second shot of Scotch, he sighed, focusing on Beck and Seth. He appreciated all they’d done to help Raine. They’d devoted their time and understanding, with a collective goal to aid the girl in finding some peace. He and Hammer were supposed to be her ultimate choice of Dominants. At the moment, Liam felt more like a bloody fool.
When his glance settled on Hammer, who detailed Raine’s achievements for the day, Liam felt the anger that had been roasting all day—hell, for the last month—blaze into an inferno and spread like a flash fire through him. Undeniably proud that she’d exceeded their fiercest expectations once again, he should have been high-fiving Macen. But the fear that Raine would never be just his again wrapped a fist around his balls and squeezed tight. If he wanted to have her in his life, in his arms, or in his bed again, would he have to share her with Hammer? That worry axed him like a vicious blade, cutting him where he sat.
He clenched his fists as Hammer divulged Raine’s confession to the final question of the day—the powder keg his old pal had set ablaze, finally igniting Liam’s fury.
“That had to be damn hard to hear, man,” Seth sympathized. Concern lined his face.
All eyes turned expectantly toward Liam. The best he could do was nod and try not to spear Hammer with an accusing glare.
“Go ahead. You’ve been itching to say something about it all day. So get it off your chest and out in the open,” Hammer barked before emptying his glass of tequila in one gulp.
“What the fuck is there to say, Macen?”
“You tell me. You’re the one sitting by the fire, pouting like a bitch.”
Hammer’s condescending remark, coupled with the patronizing brow, set Liam’s temper razing through the room. All the grievances he’d been swallowing since he’d first taken Raine for his own sat like bile in his throat, waiting to spew.
“You’re the bitch here, Hammer. But I’ve got to hand it to you. You almost succeeded,” he spat before raising his glass in a mock salute. “Aces to you.”
“Succeeded at what?” Hammer growled as he turned in his seat. Face-to-face, Liam could see confusion and anger narrowing Macen’s eyes.
“At totally fucking up Raine’s life,” Liam jeered. “It wasn’t enough that you stunted her emotional growth for years by locking her away in your ivory tower. You had to top it off by trying to impregnate her, you selfish prick.”
“What?” Hammer roared as he launched to his feet. “That’s not what happened and you damn well know it.”
“Okay. Everybody take a deep breath,” Seth instructed as he situated himself between them, trying in vain to keep them apart.
Slamming his glass on the table, Liam surged out of his chair. Eager to go toe-to-toe with the man he used to call his best friend, he set his shoulders and clenched his fists. “Are you enjoying making Raine your substitute for Juliet?”
“What the—” Hammer screeched. “You need to get your goddamn jealousy under control, Liam, and think about what you’re saying. If Raine had been pregnant with your child, she would have wanted it, too. You’re too smart to be this stupid, asshole.”
“Time out,” Seth bellowed, slashing an angry scowl first at Liam, then at Hammer.
“Jealousy? Look in a bloody mirror. The minute I showed the least bit of interest in Raine, you suddenly turned on me like a rabid dog.”
“Christ, here we go. You’re not really going to start whining about that again, are you?” Hammer snarled. “Damn it, I know what she said up there cut you deep. But you’re out of line, man. Way the fuck out of line. Deal with the shit Gwyneth put you through before you destroy yourself and any chance of happiness.”
“Don’t start psychoanalyzing me, you bastard, especially when you’ve done such a bloody fine job on yourself. You don’t know a damn thing about what I went through with Gwyneth. You were too busy banging subs a dime a dozen, so shut the fuck up.”
Hammer scowled. “I know you can’t stand that the fucking bitch cheated on you, but you’re not the first guy to find out his wife was unfaithful. Stop being a damn martyr because you’re about to screw up the best thing that’s ever happened in your life.”
