by Liz Harris
‘The people must be very religious,’ Amy remarked at one point as a group of red-robed monks passed them in the street. ‘Look at all the monasteries, shrines and monks that they’ve got. Every time you go round a corner, you find an old monastery or a monk.’
‘They are religious, but not in a way that’s oppressive.’
Amy turned to stare after the monks. ‘Kalden would have looked like that if you hadn’t met him.’
‘But he would have been alive.’
They glanced at each other, and for a few minutes, they walked along in silence, each lost in her thoughts.
‘I’m sure this is very different from the way Leh used to be,’ Patricia said, breaking into the silence. ‘I’ve never been here before, but Father and I read up about it before our trip.’
‘Trekking’s very big now, and you can see that they’re catering for the tourists who come for the mountains. I bet most of them come through Leh at some point, even if they don’t fly into the airport. But tourism’s good. It brings money into a country.’
‘You’re right.’ She smiled at Amy. ‘You only have to think of the toilets. The flush toilets we’ve got in our hotel were unheard of thirty years ago.’
‘So what did people do?’
‘Use a hole in the upper floor of the house. Everything went down to the straw and ash that was on the floor below. It was cleaned out once a year and put on the fields.’
Amy wrinkled her nose. ‘Yuk!’
‘It’s a cold climate so there were no flies and no smell. The Ladakhi don’t waste anything, or at least they used not to. I’ve no idea how they manage to have flush toilets today, though – they’ve no more water now than they used to have.’
‘However they do it, I’m glad that they do.’ She threw Patricia a half smile. ‘And talking of things that are different, I like your new hairstyle. It suits you.’
Patrica blushed and put her hand up to her hair. ‘I thought I ought to do something about the way I looked.’
‘It’s really nice. It’s taken years off you.’
‘Well, thank you.’ She put her hands to her cheeks. ‘You’re embarrassing me and I can feel myself going bright red. Don’t look at me, look at the vegetables on the stall. They don’t sell just wheat and barley any longer, but all kinds of vegetables and rice. They must import the rice – I can’t see how they could grow it here. And cabbages and potatoes. And look at the fruit. They never used to have apples and plums.’
‘And not tight jeans, either, I’m sure! Have you seen what those men are wearing?’ Amy said with a laugh as three young men, each wearing sunglasses and carrying a radio, came towards them. They grinned at Amy as they passed by and nodded their approval. ‘I want any uncles I have to be wearing the homespun clothes that I saw in the photos, and not manmade fibres.’
‘Me, too. I do hope the villages haven’t changed as much as Leh,’ Patricia said as they turned into the road that led to their hotel. ‘I can’t imagine what Father would have made of all the traffic today, and cement being used for buildings, instead of mud bricks. I think it’s just as well that he never saw the changes. He was a man who liked tradition. Like me, he was somewhat locked in the past.’
‘But we’re unlocking your past by being here, aren’t we? That’s what you want, isn’t it?’
‘Of course it is.’ Patricia threw Amy a quick smile. ‘I don’t want to destroy all my memories, though. To be honest, I’m quite nervous about what we’ll find in Alchi tomorrow.’
‘I can’t wait to get there. Leh’s nice, but I’m dying to see the places you went to with Kalden. I wish there was a bus earlier than four in the afternoon. With it taking three hours to get there, it’ll be too dark to see anything by the time we reach the guest house.’
‘We’ll go straight to the guest house from the bus, drop off our bags and have a short wander around. I’m sure there’ll be time to do that before it gets too dark.’
‘I hope you’re right.’
As they reached the hotel, Amy stopped abruptly. She turned to Patricia in sudden alarm. ‘I’ve just thought – suppose Kalden’s family isn’t pleased to see you again! After all, if the two of you hadn’t decided to run away, he’d probably still be alive today. Maybe they’ll blame you for him dying.’
‘That thought had occurred to me, too. On the whole, though, I’d be surprised if they thought like that. It happened so long ago. They’ll still be desperately upset about him dying, of course, but I would have thought that their hostility towards me – if they had been hostile – would have almost certainly gone by now. Anyway, we’ll find out soon enough. And maybe it’s just as well to be prepared for the fact that they might not welcome us with open arms.’
Biting her lower lip, Amy pushed open the entrance door and went into the hotel.
Her hand on the door, Patricia glanced back along the street. She’d never been to Leh with Kalden so the streets of Leh held no special memories for her. But in one day’s time, she’d be walking on the same ground that she’d walked with him, and that was going to be very different.
Her heart beating fast, she followed Amy into the hotel.
They arranged for the taxi driver to return in three hours and wait for them outside the entrance to Kalden’s village. Then they got out of the taxi, tucked their lunch packs into their rucksacks and stood in front of the opening in the village wall, watching the taxi drive off down the stony track.
‘Well, the old Alchi was still very visible,’ Patricia said, turning to look at Kalden’s village, ‘despite the number of guest houses and restaurants. I wonder what we’ll find here? I do hope the character of the village hasn’t changed too much.’ She took a few steps back from the entrance. ‘Let’s not go in for a minute. We can give ourselves a moment or two, can’t we? I don’t feel quite ready.’
Amy smiled at her. ‘Of course we can. We’ve got plenty of time. Come on, let’s go and look at the view.’ And she ran over to the edge of the ripe barley fields and stood gazing up at the shadowy peaks. ‘I can see why you fell in love with the place,’ she called back.
‘It is lovely, isn’t it?’ Patricia said, coming over to Amy’s side, and together they walked slowly towards the small stream that flowed at the end of the fields. Beyond the stream, the plateau shimmered as it stretched into the hazy distance, reaching out to the purple slopes of the mountains.
Patricia glanced to her right, stopped and pointed. ‘Look over there. That’s the way to the missionary house. There’s a chorten not far along the track – you can just about see it from here – at least, you can see the prayer flags. The chorten is hidden beneath them all. The missionary house is some distance beyond that.’
Amy glanced towards the chorten, then turned to look back at the village and at the monastery high up on the rock-face above it. ‘That monastery looks as if it’s going to fall on the village at any minute.’
Patricia smiled. ‘It’s been there for goodness knows how many years so I don’t think that’s very likely.’ She took a few steps towards the village. ‘It all looks just the same – it looks just like it did when Kalden was alive.’ Her smile faded. ‘Perhaps I should never have come back. Perhaps I should have let the past remain in the past.’
‘We had to come back. I needed to come here. And in a way, so did you. I can’t explain why I feel that, but I do feel it, with all my heart. This is something we both had to do, and we had to do it together. Now,’ she said gently. ‘What do you think? Shall we walk around for a bit longer or shall we go into the village?’
Patricia glanced at the entrance to the village. ‘I think the village. But we must start at the beginning, and that’s outside the village, at the post house. That’s where I first saw Kalden. He came to see us the night we arrived. Oh, you should have seen him, Amy. There was something so wonderful about him. I used to think of him as my golden man. Yes, we’ll start at the post house.’ And she started to walk quickly towards the small stone house a little way
down on the opposite side of the track.
When she reached the short path that led to the house, she stopped and waited for Amy to catch her up. ‘The man who lived here was called Wangyal,’ she told her. ‘He and his wife moved to his sons’ house for the time that we stayed here, but he used to come over every day and look after us. He seemed a nice man, although we couldn’t really have a conversation with him. I’m afraid he’ll have probably died by now.’
Side by side, they stood and stared at the house.
‘Well, standing here isn’t going to get us anywhere,’ Amy said at last. ‘It doesn’t look as if there’s anyone at home now, but we could knock and see.’
‘Someone must live here – it’s part of the mail delivery system. At least, it used to be. Maybe it’s all been modernised by now. In fact, it must have been, when I think about it.’
Amy turned to Patricia, her face alive with nervous excitement. ‘I’ll go and knock, shall I? If there’s anyone at home, I hope they speak English.’
‘That’s a point. It’s ages since I said anything in Ladakhi. I do remember a few words, though. Obviously, there’s ju-le, but you know that already – we’ve been using it in Leh. And, if I remember rightly, Nga england-ne in-le means I’m from England.’
Amy giggled. ‘I think you can go and knock.’
‘Come on. Let’s go together.’
They knocked three or four times but there was no answer.
‘They’re out.’ Amy’s voice shook with disappointment. ‘I was so looking forward to seeing inside.’ She moved to the window and peered through it, shading her eyes to see more easily into the dark interior.
‘Someone might come,’ Patricia whispered. ‘Come away from there. We can try again later.’
‘I will, but come and have a quick look first. Was it as gloomy as this when you lived here?’
Throwing an anxious glance over her shoulder, Patricia hurried to Amy’s side and bent down to look through the window. She caught her breath sharply and straightened up. ‘It could be in a time warp. I think everything’s in the same place, down to the pots for the butter and barley flour.’
‘And the chair? Is that the one your father sat on when he hurt his foot?’
She went closer to the window and looked through it again. ‘I think it might be,’ she said slowly. ‘It’s amazing, nothing seems to have changed. Maybe there are a few more bits and pieces around the room, but not a lot. And thank goodness there’s no television in the corner. But we’d better go now.’ She moved away from the window. ‘I’d hate to be caught looking into someone else’s house.’
‘Me, too,’ Amy said, stepping back. ‘If you’re ready now, we could go into the village. It’s a good time to explore as the villagers will be having their lunch. With fewer people around, it’d be easier to get the feel of the place.’
‘I think I’m ready now, or as ready as I’ll ever be. Shall we go through the little gap in the wall here or go along to the main entrance? The main entrance, don’t you think? It’s closer to Kalden’s house. Well, it’s closer to where his family live.’
They made their way back along the track to the large gap in the village wall and went though it. Pausing briefly just inside the wall, Patricia took a deep breath, and then she and Amy started to stroll along the dusty path that led through the heart of the village.
As they walked along, they looked from one side of the track to the other.
‘I feel as if I’m being drawn further and further back into the past,’ Patricia said, as she slowed to look down one of the narrow lanes that ran between the lime-washed houses. ‘Nothing’s changed. It’s just as it was all those years ago, just as it’s always been in my mind.’
They reached the centre of the village, and paused. Patricia looked all around her, her gaze settling on a side lane to the left of her. She took a few steps towards it. ‘Come on,’ she said. ‘We’ll go down there.’ Amy followed her.
A little way down the lane, Patricia stopped in front of a large house with highly ornate carvings around the balcony, windows and doors. She went closer to the house, and stared at it. Her eyes filled with tears, and she covered her mouth with her hands and turned to Amy. ‘My father loved those carvings. Being here is making me feel closer to him: he loved Ladakh. And I keep expecting Kalden to walk out of one of the lanes at any moment and come over to me. I can feel him here. Oh, how I wish you’d known your father!’
Amy put her arms around her and hugged her. ‘I’m getting to know him through you. And just like you, I feel that he’s here – you’ve made him come alive for me.’
‘Ju-le.’
They jumped in surprise. A man of about seventy was standing in front of them, a smile of welcome on his face. He was wearing a long, homespun robe tied round the middle with a woollen cummerbund, out of which a wooden pot was sticking. Two cords of turquoise beads hung around his neck, and on his head he wore a close-fitting skin hat.
‘Ju-le’, the man repeated, his glance going from one to the other.
‘Ju-le,’ they said in unison, and smiled at him.
His brow wrinkled. He took a small step forward and peered more closely at Patricia, his smile slowly fading into a question. He glanced again at Amy, then back at Patricia. An expression of bewilderment spread across his face. He put his fingers to his lips and turned again to look at Amy. Slightly changing his position to stand squarely in front of her, he studied her face. Then he turned to Patricia.
‘Patricia?’ he asked hesitantly.
Unable to speak, she nodded.
He pointed to his chest. ‘Tenzin,’ he said.
She gasped. ‘Ju-le, Tenzin, ju-le.’ She caught Amy’s arm. ‘It’s one of Kalden’s older brothers.’
‘He remembered your name. He must have liked you a lot to have remembered you after so many years.’ Amy smiled warmly at Tenzin. The smile he returned to her reached from one side of his face to the other.
‘How are you, Tenzin?’ Patricia asked. ‘Kamzang? I think that means are you well, or something like that.’ She laughed and shook her head. ‘I can’t remember anything at the moment.’ Then she started to cry. ‘Kalden’s brother. I can’t believe it.’
‘No English,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘Tashi English.’ He beckoned to them to follow him. ‘Tashi English,’ he repeated, and he started walking quickly down one of the lanes, looking back to make sure that they were behind him.
‘I think he’s taking us to their house,’ Patricia said, drying her eyes on her sleeve as they hurried after him. ‘Tashi’s the son of Deki and Tenzin. Or maybe Anil or Rinchen. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter.’
‘Anil! Rinchen! Tashi!’ Tenzin called loudly as he approached the large house they were heading towards.
‘It is Kalden’s house!’ Patricia exclaimed. ‘And it’s just as I remember it.’
Tenzin reached the house, stood in the doorway and again shouted up the lane for Tashi. Indicating that Amy and Patricia should go with him into the house, he led them through the downstairs room to the staircase, up the stairs and between the wooden pillars that stood at the entrance to the kitchen, decorated with garlands of wheat, barley and peas.
They followed him into the large living area and hovered uncertainly in the centre of the room. He pointed towards a long bench next to the wall, and they went and sat on it. Then he sat down on a bench opposite them.
Minutes later, they heard the sound of footsteps running up the stairs, and a man of about forty appeared breathlessly at the top of the staircase. He stopped sharply at the sight of Patricia and Amy, and looked questioningly at Tenzin. Tenzin spoke to him and he came slowly into the room, closely followed by two more men, similar in age and appearance to Tenzin.
Tenzin said something to the three of them. They looked at Patricia, then their eyes moved to Amy and stayed on her. Tenzin made a further comment and they nodded, an expression of delight spreading over their faces.
‘Tashi English,’ Tenzin
said.
Anil and Rinchen sat down next to Tenzin. Tashi pulled a small wooden stool close to Patricia and Amy and sat on it.
‘Tenzin tries to tell you I speak English,’ Tashi began. ‘I learn in school in Leh. I not speak very good, but I understand and can say some things in English.’
Tenzin started speaking quickly to Tashi. Tashi held up his hand in a gesture that asked him to slow down. ‘Tenzin say we are all very happy to see Patricia again,’ he began. ‘Very happy indeed.’ He glanced back at Tenzin and grinned. Then he looked at Amy. ‘And we also very happy to meet Kalden’s daughter for first time,’ he added, with a shy smile. ‘This be Kalden’s daughter, we think.’
‘Yes,’ Amy whispered.
‘You have same face as Kalden, but more pretty.’ He turned and told his fathers what he’d said, and the three men laughed and nodded.
Patricia leaned forward on the bench, her face suddenly serious. ‘Will you translate something for me, Tashi?’ she asked.
‘I try.’
‘I want you all to know that every single day for the past thirty-three years, I have thought of Kalden.’
Tashi nodded. He translated Patricia’s words into Ladakhi. The older men looked at her with sympathetic understanding. Then Tenzin said something to Tashi, and Tashi turned back to Patricia and Amy and translated his words.
‘And Tenzin want you to know that at every visit, Kalden talks about Patricia. For thirty-three years, he never forgets Patricia.’
Her world went black.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Patricia’s eyes flickered open. She saw that she was lying on the bench, covered by a blanket. Amy was crouching beside her, holding her hand, her face anxious and unnaturally pale. Tashi, Anil and Rinchen hovered behind Amy, looking awkward and unsure of what to do.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tenzin coming over to her with a pot of what she guessed would be butter tea. He handed it to Tashi, said something to him and went back to the stove.
‘Tenzin say you must drink this,’ Tashi said. ‘You better when you drink it.’
