“Yes, and he deserves a lot harsher than what I said. He’s awful. I’m sorry—I know he’s family and I should keep my mouth shut, but I can’t. You never say very much, but I hear things. And now I’ve seen him in action. What’s wrong with him? Why on earth would he blame you for Nick leaving? You had nothing to do with that.”
“I might have suggested it when we had our fight. That night in the bar.”
The night that had changed everything, she thought. The night she’d watched Aidan and his brother argue and not hit each other. When she’d realized that even furious, Aidan was still reachable. Everything she’d read in her self-help books, everything she’d talked about in therapy, had suddenly made sense. What her father had done, who he’d been, wasn’t normal. She didn’t have to be afraid all the time.
“Are you saying Nick is so spineless that you tell him to do something and he does it?”
Aidan grinned. “Of course not.”
“So how is this on you? Besides, you’re not the problem. Ceallach is. He’s not a nice man.”
“No, he’s a genius.”
She snorted. “That’s no excuse for bad behavior. Kipling was a world-class athlete and he manages to be a decent guy. Being gifted isn’t an excuse to be a jerk.”
“You’re so fierce,” he teased.
“You’re my friend. I don’t want anyone hurting you.”
His humor faded. “He can’t hurt me, Shelby. That power ended a long time ago.”
She knew he believed what he was saying, but she was less sure. From all that she’d learned and experienced personally, parents could always hurt their children. It was just one of those things that came with being a kid. Being someone’s child wasn’t a connection you outgrew.
“I think the problem is no one expected anything of him,” she said. “Emotionally, I mean. Because of who he was and what he could do, he wasn’t required to live up to the rest of society’s standards. He got a pass and somewhere along the way, bad behavior became synonymous with brilliance.”
“Speaking of standards.” Aidan showed her the pie pan. “Even enough?”
She inspected the crust. “Perfection. Okay, into the oven and set the timer.”
He pulled off his gloves, did as she requested, then read over the next step of the recipe.
“It wasn’t just society,” he said as he collected eggs from the refrigerator. “Mom always told us we had to work around Dad’s schedule. She enabled him from the start. He doesn’t have a bigger fan than her. She would walk through fire for him.”
Shelby leaned against the island counter. “Is it just women who do that?” she asked. “I hate to generalize, but how often do men act that way? Surrendering to another person because they’re supposedly so gifted. I’m sure it happens, but we seem to hear about women doing it more. Do you think we’re biologically more ready to serve?”
“By we you mean all women?”
She smiled. “Yes, Aidan. I wasn’t including you in the we statement.”
“Good. Because I’m the only other person here. I accept getting in touch with my feminine side, but I’m not ready to start a gender-changing journey.”
She looked at his broad shoulders and the handsome lines of his face. “Not something you have to worry about. And you didn’t answer my question.”
He grimaced. “I was hoping to distract you.”
“I promise you won’t get in trouble for your answer.”
“I’m taking you at your word.” He pulled a whisk out of a drawer. “Yes, I think women are more willing to worship, for lack of a better word, when it comes to the men in their lives. I don’t know if it’s biological or cultural. But more women than men will live in servitude. My mom is a prime example. She would tell you it was for the greater good. That the world is a better place because of what Ceallach Mitchell has created. If there was a price paid for that, she would say it was worth it.”
“Would you?”
One shoulder rose. “I don’t know. We all survived. We’re all doing fine. Every childhood has a few bumps and bruises.”
She knew what he meant by the phrase, but found herself thinking of her mother. Of how she’d allowed Shelby’s father to beat her. When did a parent cross the line from supportive spouse to monster?
“Shelby? You okay?”
She shook off the thought. “What? I’m fine. Why?”
“You went white.” Aidan circled the island and stood in front of her chair. “What happened?”
“I thought of my mom as a monster. How could I? I loved her so much.”
He cupped her face in his heads. “This is so above my pay grade, but I’ll make a run at it. Yes, you loved her. But she didn’t protect you. I agree that a married couple has to stand together. One day the kids will be grown and they need to be there for each other. But sometimes one of them is just plain wrong. Whether or not you believe in spanking a child, there’s never an excuse to beat one. Your father was wrong to ever touch you, and your mom was wrong to let it happen. Leaving or not leaving was her decision to make for herself. I don’t pretend to understand the psychology of being an abused spouse. But what I do know is that she should have stood between you and your father’s fists. Whether or not she left, she should have protected you. She should have kept you safe. Whether she could have done it or not, I don’t know, but she should have tried.”
Shelby stared at him. “He’s not the reason I can’t trust,” she whispered in shock. “She is. I knew he was broken. I knew there was a darkness inside of him. But she was different. Normal. But she let him do those things. It’s not him, it’s her.”
Tears filled her eyes. She willed them away, but they fell. Aidan pulled her close and wrapped his strong arms around her.
He didn’t say a thing. There were no promises that everything would be okay. She liked that. She liked his strength and that he didn’t seem to mind her getting his shirt wet.
She tried to process what she’d finally figured out. She felt lighter and a little sick to her stomach. Men like her dad were easy to avoid, she thought. Brutes rarely wore a disguise. But her mother was different.
“I still love her,” she whispered. “How sick is that?”
He drew back and cupped her face again. “You’re not sick. You’re incredibly strong. Look at all you’ve been through, yet here you are. Happy, successful. Most people would never have figured out there was a problem, let alone done something about it. You came up with a plan to get better. You roped me into it. You’re one of the most impressive people I’ve ever known, Shelby. I’m honored to be in your life.”
His words settled over her like a blessing. She took them in and let them fill the broken bits of her. Healing would take time—it always did. But she’d made a start. A good one.
“Thank you,” she murmured.
He kissed her forehead. “You’re welcome. Better?”
She nodded.
“Good. Because in a couple of hours, we’ll have pie.”
She laughed.
He lowered his hands and took a step away. Without thinking, she grabbed the front of his shirt to hold him in place. His dark gaze settled on her face.
She read the questions there. He wanted to know if she was okay. If she needed more from him. Because he would give it.
He was a good man. Next to her brother, he was the best man she knew. She liked him. She liked being with him.
“Let’s make love.”
Aidan swore and retreated to the far side of the kitchen. “Dammit, Shelby.”
“I mean it. I’m not playing. It will be great.”
He sucked in a breath. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but no. We’re not screwing this up with sex. This is the best relationship I’ve ever had with a woman. I care about you. I’m not going to le
t some random hookup change that.”
Interesting how she felt disappointment but not rejection. Maybe because she knew he wanted her. And while his determination to do the right thing was annoying, it was also pretty darned wonderful.
“It wouldn’t be a random hookup.”
“You know what I mean.”
He looked frustrated and desperate and on the verge of bolting. The timer dinged.
The relief on his face was nearly comical. He hurried to the stove and pulled out the pie crust.
“Oh, look. It’s done.” He pull it on the cooling rack, then turned to her. “We can’t.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I won’t ask again.”
“Like I believe that.” He swore. “You’re killing me. You know that, right? Because saying no is the right thing and I want to and I won’t.” He groaned. “I really am a woman.”
She laughed. “You’re not. You’re wonderful. This is the best relationship I’ve ever had, too. I really am sorry.”
“That you asked or that we’re not doing it?”
“Both.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
SHELBY WALKED THROUGH the vacant property next door to the bakery. She knew nothing about construction, but she wasn’t about to let that stop her from dreaming. Assuming it was possible to break through at least part of the wall between the two storefronts, she could have easy access front and back, with the ability to close it off. So a tea shop in front and a bigger kitchen in the back.
Adding a professional kitchen would be expensive and time-consuming. She’d been doing some research online and the prices had nearly made her faint. But if she was going to go for it, now seemed like the time. The space was there. If she didn’t rent it, someone else would.
The advantage for her was that she could help design the new kitchen. She could put in extra ovens to increase her capacity on the bakery side.
She alternated between excited and terrified. Both emotions were probably normal, considering what she was doing. Talk about a huge leap into the unknown. But not doing it wasn’t an option. She didn’t want to spend the rest of her life wondering “what if?”
She carefully locked up behind her and put the key in her pocket. Josh Golden had agreed to give her forty-eight hours to make up her mind. She was going to have to let him know by this time tomorrow. Not that she would need that long. She already knew what she was going to do.
She returned to the bakery. Eddie Carberry stood by the counter.
“I’ve been waiting for you,” Eddie announced. “She wouldn’t tell me where you were.”
The clerk behind the counter smiled apologetically. “I offered to take a message.”
“You’re fine,” Shelby assured her. “What can I do for you, Eddie?”
“I want custom cookies for my bowling league. Let’s go in your office and talk about them.”
Shelby generally had those kind of meetings up front, in the small eating area. But Eddie seemed resolved. It was kind of surprising how a woman in a lime-green tracksuit could radiate determination, but Eddie did.
Shelby led the way. When Eddie was seated on the visitor side of her desk, Shelby walked to the bookshelf by the door.
“I have lots of samples of cookie designs here,” she said. “Or if you have a sketch, we can work from that.”
“Shut the door.”
Shelby looked from the old woman to the door, then shrugged. She doubted Eddie was going to rob her, or threaten her. She shut the door and then sat at her desk.
“I didn’t want anyone overhearing us,” the other woman said in a low voice. “This is private.”
Shelby couldn’t imagine what the “this” was. Maybe Eddie had fallen in love and wanted a surprise wedding cake? Or there was going to be a birthday for someone?
“I have money,” Eddie said abruptly. “Not millions, but plenty.”
Shelby tried to stay relaxed. “Okay,” she said slowly. “Congratulations.”
Eddie rolled her eyes. “I’m not looking for praise, you silly girl. I’m offering you a loan. So you can buy the bakery. You could pay me back over time. With interest. And if I die before it all gets returned, then I’ll forgive the loan.”
Eddie’s eyes narrowed. “Let me be clear. That’s not a license to off me. I’ll have a provision in my will that if my death is suspicious, you’re the first one they’re to investigate.” Her expression softened. “But I don’t think you’d do that.”
Shelby opened her mouth, then closed it. “I honestly don’t know what to say. Thank you. I’m stunned, but thank you.”
Eddie clutched her large purse in both hands. “You’re welcome. I’ve been watching you ever since you moved here. You were such a frightened mouse in the beginning. You’ve grown since then. Blossomed. You have backbone and that can’t be taught. You’re smart and honest. You’d be a good bet.”
The words were as lovely as they were unexpected. “Thank you,” she said. “You’re being so nice.”
“Humph. Don’t tell anyone. I have a reputation in town. Anyway, you think about it.” Her expression turned stern. “You are going to buy the bakery, aren’t you? Because if you don’t, you’re an idiot.”
Shelby laughed. “Yes, I am. I’m going to tell Amber right now.”
“Good. I’d hate to be offering my money to an idiot.” She rose. “Let me know what you want to do.”
“I will.”
Shelby stood and circled the desk. Before she opened the door, she hugged the old woman. Eddie was smaller than she seemed. Like a little bird. But when she hugged back, her hold was fierce and powerful.
Shelby walked her out, then went into Amber’s office.
“Do you have a second?” she asked.
Her business partner looked up. “I do. Have you made a decision?”
“I’d like to buy the business.”
Amber laughed. “I’m so glad. I was hoping you’d say yes. This is fantastic. We have a lot to do. I’ll get my lawyer going on the paperwork and we’ll need to get the business valued. Oh, Shelby, you’re going to do great. I know you are. You have so many ideas and so much energy.”
“I’m excited.”
“Me, too! Let’s celebrate with a cookie.”
Shelby laughed. Because champagne was out of the question. But there would be plenty of bubbles later. With Aidan and the rest of her friends.
* * *
THE WEARY CAMPERS stepped out of the van as Aidan unloaded their backpacks and set them on the ground. Charlie, who’d already spent five minutes greeting Aidan, sniffed everything.
“Best time ever,” a teenage boy told his dad. “We have to do this again next year.”
“Maybe we’ll bring Mom along,” his father said.
The teen laughed. “Like that’ll ever happen.”
The rest of the group seemed equally pleased with their long weekend. The weather had been perfect—warm during the day and cool at night. The signs of spring had been everywhere in the mountains, from the wildflowers to the newborn fawn they’d seen.
Aidan ushered everyone into the office, where they signed the forms that confirmed they were back where they’d started, then checked the van one more time for forgotten gear or cell phones.
He hadn’t slept much while on the trip. He never did. Now all he wanted was a hot shower and about ten hours in his bed.
The latter thought had him picturing Shelby, but he carefully pushed that image away. Sleep. He needed sleep.
“How about a walk before we head home?” he asked the dog.
Charlie wagged his tail and followed Aidan into the office. Fay was finishing up with the last of the customers. She pointed to where Charlie’s leash lay on the counter.
“Kalinda played with him most of the mornin
g,” his office manager told him. “I knew you’d want to crash and that wouldn’t work if your boy was restless. So he should be tired, too.”
“Thanks for that, and for taking care of him.”
Fay petted the dog. “Are you kidding? We all love having him. You should go on more trips where you can’t bring him. I won’t complain.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” He yawned. “I’ll be back to check messages, then I’m heading home.”
“See you in a few.”
He clipped on Charlie’s leash. They opened the front door just as Aidan’s mother was reaching for the handle.
“Mom. What are you doing here?”
Elaine looked at him. “I just wanted to stop by. I haven’t seen you in a while.” She frowned. “You look like you haven’t shaved.”
“I was on a backpacking trip for three days. I’m going to take Charlie for a walk, then go home and crash.”
“Oh. Well, can I walk with you?”
He wanted to say no. There was nothing his mother could say that he wanted to hear. Only that wasn’t how he’d been raised. So he nodded and pointed to the trail he and Charlie liked to use.
They walked in silence for a few minutes. When they were clear of the office, Aidan let Charlie go off-leash. The bichon gave a quick bark of appreciation before trotting off to investigate the trail.
“Will he be all right?” Elaine asked.
“He doesn’t go far and he always checks back with me,” he told her.
“He’s sweet, like Sophie.”
Aidan thought that Sophie was a bit more of a mischief maker than Charlie, but didn’t say anything.
“Your father is sorry about what happened at the hospital.”
“No, he’s not.”
His mother sighed. “Aidan, you’re too hard on him.”
“Am I? I’m happy to see you, Mom, but you don’t have to apologize for him. He’s no different now than he’s ever been.”
He remembered what Shelby had realized. That her fear, her anger, was as much toward her mother as her father. Was it the same for him? Ceallach had been difficult for years, but his mother was the one who didn’t demand better for herself and her children.
Best of My Love (Fool's Gold) Page 18
