“Of course. I have to admit, I wasn’t sure about your plan, but it’s working. You like him and you trust him. Right? Is there something wrong?”
“No. He’s great. He’s nice and funny and reasonable about stuff. I’ve enjoyed getting to know him. We’re good together. Good friends.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I don’t know. I feel strange. Uneasy.”
“Have your feelings turned romantic?”
“No,” Shelby said quickly. “Of course not.” They couldn’t have. Sex wasn’t love. It was...different. “I just don’t want to lose what we have.”
Madeline sipped her coffee. “Okay, okay, I get it. You put a time limit on your relationship. That’s what has you uneasy. Your project or experiment or whatever you want to call it was only supposed to last six months. You want to make sure that you don’t lose Aidan. So don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t stop being friends with him. There’s no rule that says you have to. If it’s working for the two of you, keep doing that. Hang out. Whatever.”
That. Shelby held in a smile. She would like to keep doing that with Aidan, very much. But she knew what Madeline meant.
“We talked about staying friends. And we will...in a way. But everything will be different.”
“Why does it have to be? I’m assuming he likes hanging out with you as much as you like hanging out with him.”
“Yes. I think so.” Now that she thought about it, she realized they never talked about their feelings. Although he’d been very clear about not wanting to screw up what they had with sex. So he must like her.
“I’m going to talk to him,” she said firmly. “Man to man.”
Madeline raised her eyebrows. “Excuse me?”
“I mean talk to him like a guy would talk to his friend.”
“In grunts?”
“No. Being straightforward. No hints, no talking around the point. Just saying what I mean. That I want to stay friends. Real friends. Not just acquaintances who run into each other.”
“Impressive. Look at you, all brave with the new business and the attitude. I like it.” Madeline’s humor faded. “Has this relationship with Aidan done what you wanted?”
“I hope so. I won’t know for sure until I get involved with someone, but I think I’m stronger. More willing to trust. That’s what I wanted. A chance to be normal.”
“So it was worth it?”
“Completely.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
THE WOMAN—JULIE—had been crying for forty-eight hours straight. Mostly she tried to hide it, but everyone knew. Both Thursday and Friday nights, the sound of her muffled sobs had drifted through the campground, and there were still another twenty-four hours to go.
The weekend—billed as the Wild Side of the Sierras—was a camping-hiking adventure with a nature specialist as guide. The twelve campers experienced everything from bird watching to berry picking to wildflower identifying. If they were lucky, they stumbled upon a baby fawn or two. Aidan made sure they were never unlucky enough to cross the path of hungry bears.
Saturday morning the group was supposed to head to a lookout, where they could observe an eagle nest. Aidan sent them on with the naturalist but asked Julie to hang back.
She was attractive, in her midforties, with brown hair and brown eyes. Fit, if slightly high-strung. She wasn’t experienced with the outdoors, but she was willing to do whatever was asked of her. Aidan knew that the reservation had been for two, but only Julie had shown up. Which probably explained the tears.
“I thought we could talk,” he told her when the others had left. Charlie looked from the departing group back to Aidan, as if wanting to make sure he knew they were being left behind.
“Okay,” Julie said slowly.
They sat at the picnic table by the campfire. The tents were set up in a circle, spaced a few feet apart. As Aidan used this area a lot, he’d had a Porta Potti brought in but there was no running water.
Julie rested her arms on the smooth wooden surface. “You called this meeting. What did you want to talk about?”
He patted the bench next to him. Charlie jumped up and Aidan began to rub his ears. “Whatever’s going on. You’re upset. Can I help?”
“Not unless you can take a hit out on someone,” she said, then grimaced. “Sorry. I don’t mean that.”
“Bad breakup?”
“The worst.” Tears filled her brown eyes. “Keith and I were together for ten years. Ten! We’re both in the tech industry. He does software design and I’m in finance. We were great together. We traveled, we liked the same movies and cooking together on S-Sundays.” Her voice cracked.
“But?”
She sniffed. “But we weren’t going anywhere, emotionally. We kept talking about getting married, but it never seemed to happen. At first I wasn’t worried, but then it became a big deal.” She lowered her voice. “I’m forty-four. I’m probably never going to have kids. I accept that, but I’d always figured I’d get married.”
“What happened?”
“He dumped me. There was no warning. Three weeks later, he was dating some twentysomething. A month after that, they got engaged.” Tears spilled down her cheeks. “One of my friends said she heard the bitch is pregnant! I can’t believe it. I wasted all that time on him and I have nothing to show for it.”
She covered her face with her hands and sobbed. Aidan sat quietly, figuring she had to get it out of her system. While part of him felt uncomfortable with what was happening, he knew he wasn’t responsible for what was bothering her. And telling her everything was going to fine was just plain dumb. Obviously it wasn’t okay.
Eventually Julie’s sobs slowed. She wiped her face and looked at him. “I’m a mess.”
“Kind of.”
“I miss him.”
“Not really.”
Her eyes widened. “How can you say that? I love Keith.”
“No, you don’t.” He raised a shoulder. “You said yourself the relationship wasn’t going anywhere emotionally. What do you miss? Be specific.”
“A lot.” She sniffed. “The stuff we’d do together. Hanging out. Cooking on Sunday.”
“That’s all what you do. What do you miss about him?”
Her expression was blank. “I don’t understand what you’re asking.”
“I have a friend. She can’t show up at somebody’s house without bringing cookies or brownies or cake. It’s physically impossible for her to walk in empty-handed. Or if she’s with this guy.” He rested his hand on Charlie’s back. “She’ll play with him for hours. Charlie doesn’t have a favorite toy so first she has to figure out which one he’s in the mood for, then game on.”
He looked at Julie. “It’s her I’d miss. Who she is. Not the stuff we do.”
Julie drew in a couple of breaths. “You’re saying I miss what Keith represents. The steady guy. Being in a relationship. But that I don’t miss who he is.”
“It’s just a guess, based on what you’ve said about him. For what it’s worth, he’s an asshole.”
For the first time since showing up for the trip, Julie smiled. “I know. The new girlfriend is twenty years younger than him. What’s up with that?” The smile faded. “I wanted to come on this campout just to prove something. I didn’t expect to get good advice. Thank you. I’m going to think about what you said.”
“He’s not the only one. There are plenty of good guys out there. You have to start looking, though.”
Julie nodded. “You’re really easy to talk to. You know a lot about women.”
Aidan grinned. “It’s kind of a new thing for me, but I’m enjoying it.”
* * *
SHELBY FOUND HERSELF oddly nervous as she waited for Aidan
to get home from his camping trip. He’d called from the office—just to say he was back—and she’d invited him to stop by on his way back to his place. Now, as she paced the length of her living room, she fought against that weird fluttering in her stomach and a growing sense of anticipation.
She’d missed her friend, she told herself. And Charlie, of course. Because she loved that silly little dog. The way he waved his paws impatiently when she wasn’t quick enough with a treat or the toy du jour. How he liked to stretch out on the back of the sofa, like a cat.
That was it, she told herself. She’d missed Charlie. And Aidan, but mostly the dog.
She heard the truck pull into her driveway and hurried out to greet her guys. Charlie had his head out the window and barked a greeting. She opened the door on his side and he jumped into her arms. He was nearly twenty pounds, so she staggered for a second, then hugged him close.
“Hey, you,” she murmured, stroking his soft fur. “How was the camping trip?”
Aidan stepped out and circled the truck. “We had a good time. Charlie was a hit with everyone. They all snuck him food, so we’re going to have to do extra walks for the next couple of days. The campers were great. How are you doing?”
He looked good, she thought absently. Unshaved. Tousled. Sexy. He had on an open long-sleeved shirt over a T-shirt, jeans and hiking boots. Nothing that should have gotten her heart to beating fast and yet she found herself all quivery.
“Shelby?”
“Huh?”
He smiled. “You okay?”
She nodded. “I missed you.”
He put his arm around her and pulled her close. “I missed you, too. You should have come with me.”
They walked toward her place. Charlie led the way, then darted inside.
“Next time,” she said. “I have remodeling to monitor. I’m sure I’m making my contractor crazy, but he’ll just have to deal.”
“They making progress?”
“Every day.”
They walked into her house. Charlie had already found the bowl of fresh water she’d put out for him. She opened the kitchen slider so he could go outside.
“Want a beer?” she asked. “You must be tired.”
“I am. A beer sounds great. Then I need to get home and take a shower.”
She walked to the refrigerator. “You could shower here.”
She’d meant the statement innocently enough. She really was offering the shower. But something in the air changed when she said the words. She turned and found Aidan watching her from across the kitchen.
His dark eyes brightened with an intensity that stole her breath. Wanting pooled in her belly and quickly moved out to every corner of her body. She shivered and not from the cold.
“Want to join me?”
Four simple words that individually didn’t mean all that much. But when strung together...well, they were a lot more significant.
She thought about what it would be like—the small, steamy space, the hot water and a very naked, wet Aidan to do with what she would.
She smiled. “You’re saying the beer can wait?”
“That I am.”
* * *
AIDAN WAS UNPREPARED for the high pitched sounds that ten sixteen-year-old girls could make. His first thought was he was grateful he’d left Charlie at home. The poor pup would have been whimpering from the loud noises. To be honest, Aidan felt a little overwhelmed himself.
Starr’s party was held in a section of the town’s convention center. He never would have thought of that venue, but Shelby had talked to party planner Dellina Ridge, who had suggested it.
They’d taken over about a quarter of the open area near the industrial kitchen. There was plenty of room for tables and chairs and their 1950s theme.
Destiny and Kipling had provided the portable sound system and Gideon, who owned the local oldies radio station, had loaned them plenty of era-appropriate music. There were cutouts of Elvis for selfies, rented poodle skirts and a makeup station with printed instructions on how to do cat eyeliner.
Beyond the tables was a basketball court-sized concrete floor—perfect for roller skating. The menu was simple—hot dogs, mac and cheese and a salad bar. There was an ice cream sundae station and the guitar cupcake cake.
The party had started at three and dinner was still about an hour away. Aidan could see the girls were nearly finished with roller skating. He crossed to Shelby, who was setting the big table for the girls.
“We’re going to need another activity,” he said. “Otherwise, they’ll get restless.”
She smiled. “You sound nervous.”
“Yeah. My female training has been with adults. Teenaged girls still frighten me.”
She patted his arm. “They frighten us all. Don’t worry. I have it covered.” She pointed to the big double doors.
A woman walked in. She was tall and lean, with green eyes and blond hair. It took him a second to recognize her.
“She’s that dance lady.”
“Evie Jefferson,” Shelby said, waving her over. “She owns the dance school in town. She’s going to teach the girls some dances from the 1950s. That will keep them busy until dinner. Plus they’ll be exhausted.”
“Kipling will be thrilled.”
Because after the dinner, the girls were all heading back to Starr’s house for a sleepover.
“I think there’s a slight chance that he and Destiny will get some sleep tonight.” She laughed. “Well, except for the baby waking them up.”
Evie explained the dance to the girls, then walked through it with them. Kipling moved over to stand by Shelby and Aidan.
“It’s the same dance they’ll see on American Graffiti tonight,” he said.
“You know that movie takes place in the 1960s, don’t you?” Aidan asked.
Kipling grinned. “I don’t think they’ll notice. Old is old.” He pulled Aidan aside. “I heard about your gift. Thanks. Destiny and I both appreciate it. I was prepared to take it on myself, but this really helps.”
Aidan had given Starr a certificate for ten driving lessons. “You have enough on your plate,” he said. “Plus I think having someone other than family teach her will make it easier for everyone.”
“I owe you.”
Aidan started to say that was what you did for family, then stopped himself. He and Kipling weren’t related. Being friends with Shelby didn’t make them family. But he did think of Kipling as more than just a guy he knew.
Kipling returned to Destiny’s side. They’d left the baby with a sitter and were enjoying their night out. Shelby had joined the teens and was learning the new dance. Music played and laughter filled the vast space.
This was good, he thought with contentment. How birthdays were supposed to be. When he’d been a kid, his mom had tried, but Ceallach had inevitably done something to ruin the day. It had taken Aidan a long time to figure out his father always had to be the center of attention. Even on one of his kids’ birthdays.
He wondered what it had been like for Shelby—growing up terrified of her father. He doubted her birthdays had been very fun, either. At boarding school, she would have been safe, but away from family.
For the millionth time, he wondered why his mother had stayed. He knew she would say what she felt was love, but he had his doubts. But she’d been stuck and—
Aidan watched the girls dance and Shelby laugh. The music played and the scent of the upcoming meal drifted through the space, but he was removed from it all. Thoughts formed, faded, then reformed. Then he got it.
Love didn’t mean being stuck. What he’d most disliked about his parents’ relationship wasn’t that his mother couldn’t leave. It was that she chose not to and his father had abused them all. Maybe not with his fists, but in other ways. Shelby’s mother h
adn’t been stuck. She could have walked away at any time. And she hadn’t. She’d stayed for reasons they would never understand.
It wasn’t that she’d chosen her husband over her children, it was that she’d accepted what her husband had done to her children. Love wasn’t supposed to allow pain to happen to your kids. Not when it could easily be prevented.
Whatever those women felt, it wasn’t love. Because love meant giving, not taking. Love wasn’t about making excuses or having to choose between the father and the child. Love wasn’t being stuck—it was about being set free.
* * *
“DIDN’T WE JUST do this?” Shelby asked as she followed Madeline into Jo’s Bar.
“You did,” her friend told her. “I was working. Now we’re having a girls’ lunch that I can attend.”
Which all sounded great, but Shelby wasn’t buying it. There was something about the way Madeline had insisted they go to lunch that made her wonder if something else was going on.
Maybe her friend wanted to talk to her about her upcoming wedding. Or there was yet another pregnancy to celebrate.
She saw Taryn and Patience were already waiting at a smaller booth along the back wall. A booth that only sat four.
“Not a big crowd today,” she said as she and Madeline approached the table.
Madeline did her best to smile, but it was obviously fake. There was a hint of nervousness as she said, “Sometimes that’s more fun.”
Shelby sat down next to Patience, looked at the other two and asked flatly, “What’s up?”
Patience sighed. “I knew we couldn’t fool you for long. I was hoping for at least ten minutes.”
Shelby told herself that these women loved her and she trusted them absolutely. They would never hurt her. At least not deliberately.
Jo brought over four glasses and a pitcher of iced tea, then left without saying a word. Which made Shelby think she’d been warned off.
“Now I’m scared,” she said. “Is one of you sick? Am I sick? Is a meteor about to hit Fool’s Gold and kill us all?”
The other three women exchanged a look. Madeline nodded.
Best of My Love (Fool's Gold) Page 23
