by David Heyman
~ Curtain ~
Act 3, Scene 2
The family is gathered in the front room. Fred is back. Lisa is in the kitchen.
Lisa: “Mom! Where did we get these berries?”
Gretchen: “Mr. Solomon picked them and brought them to us today. Would you mind rinsing them off in a colander and putting them in some small bowls. And make sure Greg gets some, too.”
Duke: Speaking to Gretchen, “So, he was here again. Isn't it strange what two attractive sisters can lure home? Pig farmers!” Nasty. “Did you ask him about the incorporation papers? Did he sign them? What did he say?”
Gretchen: “No. He didn't sign them. He said he didn't understand why we had to rush to get a negotiating position.”
Duke: “That's about what I expected from a pig farmer!. It's easier to understand a fence around a sty, than it is to understand a legal framework. Did you tell him that he's apt to miss out on something great?”
Gretchen: “He's not missing out on anything.”
Dina: “No, he's not. He's just trying to be nice - and careful.”
Duke: “What's going on here? Are you taking his side? The pig farmer! The Lone Granger!”
Gretchen: “Be careful what you say. I think the kids are here.”
Duke: “That doesn't matter. A moron is a moron! And the sooner the kids learn that, the better off they’ll be.”
Lisa and Honey are in the background, obviously listening, but the adults aren't totally aware of them.
Gretchen: “He's not just a pig farmer. He's a smart man.”
Duke: “So smart that he's going to make it difficult for us to make a great deal!
Fred: “Give him a little time, Duke. He might be a moron, but even a moron will see the light eventually.”
Honey has overheard her father being disparaged. She's offended, and breaks out crying. She runs out the garden door with Greg chasing her.
Honey: “Let me go! I'm going home to slurp the pigs!”
Greg: “Honey, don't go! You don't have to listen to them!”
Gretchen and Dina are horrified. Gretchen runs to try to catch Honey, but it's too late.
Gretchen: “She ran away. My goodness! What does the poor child think?”
Duke: “Maybe I came on a little strong. Should I apologize to her?”
Gretchen: “Not if you believe what you said. That would make you a hypocrite too.”
Duke: “Me, a hypocrite? I've been called a lot of things but never a hypocrite. I say what I believe is true, even if it hurts somebody's feelings. They are going to get used to the truth eventually. So I will stand by what I said, even though it wasn't for the little girl's ears.”
Gretchen: “I'm going next door to see if I can speak to her.”
Duke: “While you're there, try again to get him to sign the papers!”
Gretchen stops and turns to her husband. With teary determination she speaks.
Gretchen: “I don't know how you can be so callous! You might as well hear what I have to say! It is probably my fault that Mister Solomon won't sign. While we were spotting deer I got excited. (pause) I mean- - It was thrilling to see so many deer up close, and I thought of them losing their home, in the woods, and I said, 'It's too bad they will lose their home when the gas pipeline is built'. I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to say that! But now Billy Solomon knows about the gas line, and maybe that's why he won't sign!”
Duke: “So, you're a traitor! Can't I trust you with anything? Damn you! How did you find out about the gas line, anyway?”
Dina: “Now, Duke, you can't expect news like that not to leak out. Just think of the stories that come out of your law office!”
Fred: “I agree. News that leaks out of a lawyer's office is only days ahead of what is in the newspapers.”
Duke: “But this is my home, not my law office! And I’ve known about the gas line for months. I was there when the planners decided where to put it.
“I need that extra money from that gas line, so I can run for office. I was counting on it!”
Gretchen: “I'm sorry I even heard about the gas line. Now, I'm going next door to see if there's anything I can do for Honey. While I'm there, I'll try to get Billy to sign the papers.”
Duke: “That would be a great!” (Angry.) “And don't come back with pig shit on your body!”
Dina: “Be careful, Gretchen.”
Duke: “What does she have to be careful about?”
Dina: “It's beginning to get dark. Maybe I should go with her.”
Duke: “You, too?” Duke glowers at Dina. He stifles a comment he was about to make, when he sees Fred staring and making a distasteful face at him.
Fred: “Take it easy, Duke! It isn't the end of the world! I'm sure you didn't mean to hurt the young girl's feelings. I know I'm a guest in your home, but someone has to realize we said things Honey didn't need to hear, and you were too hard on Gretchen!”
