by D. L. Raver
I dug into my purse and pulled out mints, offering some to Irelyn. Since we were both underage—I was just twenty, and she was almost twenty-one—we needed to make sure the alcohol on our breaths wasn’t readily noticed by the parent patrol.
We both giggled as we popped the mints into our mouths. I had a great buzz going, perfect for a Friday night.
“A movie with you is better than sitting at home thinking about the dates we aren’t on,” I lied. Only one man held my heart. Dating men I didn’t like kept people from asking me questions I had no intention of answering.
Irelyn didn’t date either. Of my friends, only Rachel worked the dating circuit and was probably screwing some random guy at this very moment. Though I loved her dearly, the girl could sometimes be a major slut.
“Don’t remind me.” Irelyn sighed as she gazed out the window. I wondered if she was lost in thoughts of Zolt Hamil. Five years had passed since they had their brief encounter on the Arizona Cardinals football field the day Zolt’s NFL career came to a screeching end. Irelyn, however, still thought of him often, and I knew it was why she didn’t date.
I sighed too, not about to criticize someone for wanting what she couldn’t have. The only difference was the object of my desire sat in the driver’s seat of this very car. Irelyn’s heart’s desire had disappeared from the public eye after his injury. God only knew what he was doing now.
I, on the other hand, knew exactly where the man I cared about was at this very moment. Sloan Sullivan was within in arm’s reach, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. My fingers wiggled with the need to pet the back of his head as he drove.
“Thanks for coming out with me tonight,” Irelyn squeezed my hand as Sloan pulled into traffic. “I needed a break from studying.”
“Me too,” I agreed. “I totally can’t stand my classes this semester. I swear next semester dad will not influence my choices.”
“God, I hear that. Why can’t our dads get it through their fat heads we don’t want to be lawyers? Honestly.” Irelyn began twisting her hair, a sure sign of her frustration.
“You’d think Cory going to law school would be enough,” I bemoaned.
“I know, right? But that’s my problem exactly. Chris just graduated and has made it perfectly clear he’s not going to law school.” Her twisting became more frantic, and it took all my will power not to grab her hand.
“I’m sorry about this summer. I can’t believe Jacob is making you work at the law firm,” I said, knowing this frustrated the shit out of her. Thankfully, my dad had not forced me to work at the law firm too. The thought of it made me cringe.
“It’s my own fault,” she sighed. “I should have never shown him my propensity for legal research while in high school. Ever since, he’s pushed me in that direction. What’s worse is all the glares I get from the other paralegals. I know they think I’m only there because of my last name. But I’m a damn good researcher even if I kind of hate it.”
Irelyn glanced at her hand twisting the trapped strand of blonde hair. She dropped it, finally realizing what she had been doing.
“Whatever. Classes will be done in a few weeks and that will be that.”
“Maybe it won’t be as bad as you think,” I said, trying to lighten her mood.
“Maybe. I’ll tell you what, next spring break you, me, and Rachel are going to Cabo. If this is what my summers are going to consist of, then I’m going to party my ass off before my sentence commences. It’s too late for that now.”
I nodded, loving the idea of hanging on a Mexican beach with Irelyn and Rachel—my two besties.
We arrived at Irelyn’s home a few minutes later. Sloan stopped the car then jumped out, and opened the door for Irelyn.
“Talk to you later, Kenna,” she said. She gave Sloan a kiss on the cheek before disappearing into her house.
I waited until Irelyn was inside before I climbed out of the car and into the front seat.
“Kenna.” His Irish accent caressed my name, and I shivered. I could never get enough of the sound of his voice. When his gaze raked over my body, I broke out into a full-blown quake.
I ran my finger across his hand and watched this strong man shiver in response. This was our normal dance—had been for a few years now. But tonight, I let bolder feelings take over. Call it liquid courage, or call it tired of waiting. Whatever made me this way, I didn’t care. Tonight, I intended to push Sloan and see just how far I’d get.
He stared into my eyes for a minute, and his mysterious, gorgeous gaze, flecked with midnight blue, unnerved me just a little.
“Home?” he asked as we left Irelyn’s home. This wasn’t the first time we’d been alone. I made sure to steal as many moments with him as I could, and we seemed to gravitate toward each other. We found time together especially for the more important events of my life. But other than the occasional touch, a short hold of my hand, or a kiss on my cheek or forehead, Sloan remained in control. There had been times I saw the longing in his eyes, but he refused to give into it.
It made me want to scream and push him to see how far he’d let me get.
“I don’t feel like going home yet.” I pulled the bottle that had the vodka cranberry from my purse, and finished off the last swallows.
Sloan gave me a sideway glance. “Oh? And where do you feel like going?”
“South Mountain Park.”
“South Mountain Park? That’s a good twenty minutes from here.”
“I know, but it’s such a pretty night, and I have a really good buzz going. It will be wasted at home. Please.” I gave him my best puppy dog eyes.
“Kenna,” he breathed out in resignation. I could see his muscular chest tense under his black T-shirt, and the hesitancy in his voice indicated he didn’t think this was a good idea, but he was going to give in anyway.
“Fine,” he acquiesced.
“Thanks.” I squeezed his hand then moved to let go. Before I could, he laced our fingers together, and turned to me with a small smile on his face.
Oh God! I thought. I love the way his hand feels in mine.
I glanced down at our joined hands as a jolt of hope—followed by excitement—surged through me.
I plugged in my MP3 player and turned on my favorite playlist. We drove in silence for a while until “Polaris” by Jimmy Eat World came on and I started singing along.
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it’s just enough to know it’s there
When you go, I’ll let you be
But you’re killing everything in me.
Sloan turned and looked at me for a rather-long moment considering he should have had his eyes on the road.
I’d smiled inwardly, knowing my message had been received. Even if it was just for tonight, I wanted something more with him.
“You have a nice voice.” He glanced at me from the corner of his eye.
“Thank you, but you’ve heard it before.” Certainly, he had heard me over the years in the backseat with Irelyn and Rachel.
“I have.” He squeezed our still joined hands, and I closed my eyes as the electric current between us rang throughout my body.
I sang along to several more songs, including the Foo Fighter’s “The Pretender”.
Sloan gave me a weird look at that one, and I wondered if I sang off key. When he pulled his hand from mine, I knew it had to be something else.
Something within him had shifted, but hell if I knew what it was, and I wasn’t about to ask.
We arrived at South Mountain Park, and I exited the car as soon as it came to a stop. Surprisingly, we were the only people here considering it was a popular parking spot for couples on a Friday night.
The late April air was a little on the chilly side—at least it felt that way—though in reality, it was probably in the sixties. I’d always loved the view of Phoenix from up here, and I didn’t care if it was too chilly and a little breezy. I rubbed my arms against the coolness.
&n
bsp; Sloan came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, not saying a word.
My life had been punctuated by these moments together that came few and far between. I stayed silent, afraid to break whatever spell worked between us.
I closed my eyes for a brief moment, luxuriating in his touch, and leaning back against his firm body. This was what I had wanted, and I had to believe bringing me here meant he wanted something more too.
“Do you want my jacket? I can get it from the car?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m fine now. Perfect actually.” It took everything in me not to purr. Having his strong arms around me felt as good as I knew it would.
“I’ve wanted to congratulate you on your red belt. One more before black.”
“Did Chris tell you?” I asked, tilting my head to look at him.
Chris and I worked out at the same dojang, and in fact, he’d been one of the black belts to test me. I loved working out with Chris and loved he kept my secret from his sister. Doing Tae Kwon Do was personal to me, and besides Chris, my brother Cory, and my parents, no one else knew.
“Aye.” His eyes dropped to my lips, and I licked them reflexively.
“I see your black eye finally healed.” He touched under my right eye where I’d blocked with my face instead of my hands during the testing.
“It did,” I said, trying to hide my body’s reaction to his touch. “Covering it up has been a bitch. Luckily, mom has been out of town for several days after.”
She hated me studying Tae Kwon Do, complaining cultured ladies didn’t do such things. If I came home with any kind of injury, she flipped. Seeing me with a black eye would have given her a coronary. My dad, however, loved my passion for the sport and always supported me.
“The thought of you kicking ass is hot,” Sloan whispered in my ear.
“It is?”
“Aye.” With that one word, his Irish accent was as pronounced as I’d ever heard it, and my insides turned to jelly.
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.
I rested my head against his chest, and breathed him in, taking in the way he smelled—musky and slightly sweet, like vanilla and sandalwood. In that moment, I vowed to burn this moment into my gray matter for recall later. Just in case, I took out my phone and snapped a selfie, praying the flash worked and captured the picture.
Sloan chuckled, but by this time he was used to me doing this.
We stood there for untold moments without talking. Sloan’s chin rested on my head, and I marveled in the rightness of it all. When he brushed my hair from my neck and started kissing my neck, I thought, this is it, this is our moment.
Then, I did purr. How could I not? The touch of his lips on my skin shot fire racing through my blood.
I wanted him so much it hurt. And I know how cliché that sounds, but it was the God’s honest truth. There was an actual ache between my legs and deep in my belly I knew only he could relieve.
“Sloan,” I whispered and turned to face him. My breath hitched when I saw the need in his darkened gaze that he didn’t bother to hide this time.
“Kenna,” he whispered back.
Then it happened; everything I’d wished for came true. Sloan bent his head and brushed his lips over mine. As soon as we connected, our mutual desires took over. Our kiss deepened, and I went on tippy-toe to get as close to him as I could.
Every muscle in his body tensed as we continued our kiss. When I pushed my hips against his, our need ramped up, and the kiss accelerated to a frenzied pace. I ran my fingers through his hair, finding as silky it as I knew it would be.
“God, Kenna,” he moaned after breaking our connection. “Do you have any bloody idea how long I’ve wanted to do that?”
“Um, years?”
“Something like that.” He chuckled low and brushed the pad of his thumb over my bottom lip.
“What took you so long? You had to know I wanted that too.”
“I did—”
I could hear the but coming, so I stopped it with my mouth on his, kissing him with everything I felt for him. I didn’t want to hear all the reasons we shouldn’t be doing this. All I cared about was how right this felt.
He pulled me impossibly close to him, and I could feel his erection press into my tummy. Instinctually, I gyrated my hips against his, making us both moan. His hands skimmed my back and found their way to my ass, cupping each cheek.
I wanted him to be my first, had since the first day I’d met him. Because of this, I refused to date any guy more than once. I’m sure my family wondered what the hell was wrong with me. Rachel certainly voiced her concern on more than one occasion, but I stayed silent.
What I felt for Sloan was between him and me. Everyone else could go to hell.
“Sloan,” I said through my panting and desire laced voice. “I want you to be my first.”
“I know you do, and I want to be that for you. But do you really want it here, in the back of a car?”
“Take me home with you; I’m ready for this. Hell, I’m beyond ready. I need to be with you.” I kissed him again, hoping to silence his protests. I was wet and ready, and I didn’t want him to change his mind.
“Kenna, you’re killing me, you know that, love?” He pulled me into him and crushed me to his chest, again resting is chin on my head.
I leaned my cheek against him and closed my eyes. I could feel him pulling away from me, and I sighed, knowing this wouldn’t go any further tonight.
I pushed back from him. “This isn’t going to happen tonight, is it?”
“No, Kenna, it’s not,” he said, sadly.
“Will it ever happen?” I bit my lip as I waited for his answer.
“There are so many reasons it shouldn’t. You deserve someone much better than me, Kenna.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want anyone else. I only want you, and I know you want me.”
“Fuck!” He ran his hands through his hair. Then, he grabbed my hand and put it on his erection. “Aye, I want you.”
I squeezed his bulge through his jeans, making him groan.
“Let me take care of that, Sloan. Get in the car and let me suck you off.” I licked my lips in hopes to entice him to take my offer.
Instead of agreeing, Sloan laughed. “No, love, that’s not how this is going to go. As much as I’d love to have your lovely lips around my cock, I won’t let you.”
“But—” I tried to protest, but this time he stopped me with a smoldering kiss of his own.
“When we do fuck, Kenna, it will be in a bed and in private where I can lay you out and treat you right.”
“You said do.”
“What?” Sloan arched a brow.
“You said when we do fuck. That means you haven’t ruled it out.” I couldn’t help but smile, knowing tonight I had gotten both more, and less, than I wanted.
“Oh love,” he said and cupped my face with his large hand. “You’re playing with fire, and you’ll end up fried to a crisp no matter how hard I try not to.”
“I don’t care. I don’t. I want you, Sloan. I want this. I’m willing to bargain with my heart if that’s what it takes.”
Sloan let out a long, tortuous breath. “But I’m not. Get in the car. Time to take you home.”
Like that, our time was over. Sloan’s wall of impassivity returned.
As I got in the car, I could feel tears well in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I had just told him I would bargain with my heart. Women willing to do that didn’t cry when they were rejected. If I showed him my hurt feelings, Sloan would never let this happen again.
We drove to my house in silence. When he stopped the car, I took off my seatbelt and moved closer to him.
“I heard what you said, Sloan. I did, but here’s the thing. I don’t give up when I want something, and I want this; I want you.” Then, I kissed him hard, forcing my tongue into his not-so-amenable mouth.
It didn’t take long for him to give way to my advances. His hand cupped the back of my head
as our tongues intertwined with each other.
I broke the kiss, and abruptly left the car. With strength I didn’t think possible, I went inside and closed the door without looking back, collapsing against it on the other side.
“Think about that Sloan Sullivan, as you drive home.”
I dreamed of making love to him as I slept that night, knowing it was only a matter of time before my dream became reality.
Chapter Four
Sloan
Present Day
I WALKED UNOBTRUSIVELY into the Bad Idea Bar and Grill, the one bar I figured Marcus’ goons would frequent. The cliché, dark, and smoky bar had a reputation as being the place where illegal deals were made and where like-minded people cavorted.
No one paid attention as I took a seat at a quiet, corner table. I was in shadow mode, and unless I wanted to be seen, I usually wasn’t.
Tonight, I definitely didn’t want to be seen.
I needed information—the 411 on what Marcus planned. If something big loomed, the people in this bar would know.
As if on cue, Joe Franklin swaggered in and made his way to the bar. Several people welcomed him, and he high-fived a few of them in greeting.
Scum bags each and every one!
My table had the perfect vantage point, and I could clearly see and hear the conversation at the bar.
Joe ordered a beer and shot then started bragging about his latest adventures with none other than Marcus Xavier.
I straightened in my chair, focusing all my senses on him. The large, somewhat fat man was not unfamiliar to me. I clenched my fists as I listened to him blather on about his new assignment.
My thoughts drifted to Zolt Hamil and the career-ending hit Joe had perpetrated against him. Knowing that Marcus had bank rolled the bounty against Zolt made me want to pummel Franklin even more. Sure, Zolt could be an asshole, and the way he’d treated Irelyn seriously pissed me off. But I knew part of Zolt’s reaction had been caused by Joes’ illegal hit and its lingering effects, and that left a bad taste in my mouth.
I considered Zolt a friend, and I didn’t take kindly to people fucking with my friends. More importantly, it affected a family member I’d sworn to protect even though I seemed to be doing a piss poor job of doing so.
