Out of The Box Regifted

by Jennifer Theriot

  Todd comes into the bedroom from the sitting area, and he mouths, ‘who’s that?’ I answer with a troubled look on my face, ‘Alan’.

  “What the fuck?” He looks pissed.

  I hold my hand up, and he points a finger at me and whispers, “You need to tell him to fuck off.”

  Alan sighs and continues, “Olivia, I need you so bad right now. I need to talk to you. Look, there’s so much I need to say to you. I love you babe. We have history, and if you can’t come to me, I can get someone to bring me to your hotel, and I promise I won’t stay long.”

  I run my fingers through my hair, “Jesus Alan, the answer’s no. I came to the funeral, to support you, and I’m going home tomorrow.”

  He implores me further. “Olivia, please don’t shut me out. I’ve got to see you. I realize now how much I love you. I thought I loved Kelly, but I know now that I was a fool, and I made a huge mistake by letting you go. It’s so damn complicated, but it’s not too late for us, Liv. Couples get back together all the time.”

  My face is hot with anger, “Alan, that’s bullshit and you know it. You’re caught up in the grief and emotion and believe me, you don’t still love me. You gave me up, remember? And you’re absolutely right; we do have history. We were married for 30 goddamn years. We have 3 wonderful children together, but we’re divorced now, thanks to you, and you need to move on.”

  “Liv, I just need to talk to you. I’m a mess… I…”

  I’m done and cut him off, “Alan do me a favor; get yourself some counseling. You’ll need it, and it’s not a bad thing. You need a professional to get you through this. I can’t be that person. Sorry.”

  I hear him crying, and I feel pity for him. Todd looks puzzled as I talk, and I mouth the words, ‘what do I do?’ He mouths back to me the words, ‘fuck him’ and flips his middle finger up. He purposely calls my name out, and Alan hears the male voice.

  “Is Ash there with you?”

  “No. He’s not.”

  “Then who was that?” Alan asks curiously.

  I’m annoyed by his remark, “That’s really none of your business.”

  Todd takes my phone. Holding up one finger, he switches the phone on speaker. “Alan, look, the lady told you there’s no way she’s gonna see you. She doesn’t want to talk to you, and you have no right to keep harassing her.”

  “Who is this?” Alan asks angrily.

  “Don’t worry about it dude. Last time I checked, you fucking left her for another woman. Move on and leave her the fuck alone. She doesn’t deserve your shit.” He throws the phone on the bed and jerks his chin out, motioning me to end the call.

  “Who is that, Liv? Why is the phone on speaker?” Alan demands to know.

  I disconnect the call, toss the phone on the bed, and start to cry. Todd’s there to reassure me. He takes my face into his hands and looks me in the eye, with a stern look on his face, “Olivia, don’t you dare fucking cry. Don’t you dare! It kills me to see you upset. Right now I wanna go to his house, and kicking his fucking ass for calling and getting you upset. He’s a piece of shit, Olivia - he doesn’t deserve you coming here for the funeral.” He turns and kicks the wall. “Dammit! Did he even fucking thank you for coming? Did he?” He points his finger in my face, “You don’t owe him a fucking thing. Hell Kelly’s fucking father thanked you, and this asshole? Now he calls expecting you to see him, and listen to his bullshit? Hell no!” He fists his hand. “He’s playing you. Fuck him. He’s hurting now, so he has to heave a guilt trip on you? That’s fucking bullshit, Olivia.”

  I’m holding my head in my hands, shaking, and breathing out through my mouth. Todd’s right; I don’t need this.

  He takes my shoulders in his hands, “Look I’m sorry I got upset. I’m protective of you, babe. Alan’s a grown man, and he’ll fucking figure it out. Just remember he had everything figured out enough to leave you.” He winks, as he ruffles my hair.

  “Olivia, we’re best friends for God’s sake. I just happen to be a fucking dude, but that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me from your heart. I’ll listen and I’ll be there for you, just like you’ve been there for me.” He moves into my face and smiles the most amazing smile, “Just because we haven’t known each other for a bazillion years, doesn’t mean shit. No matter what, I’ll always be your biggest fan. Let’s forget about that mother fucker.”

  I sigh and brush his face, “You’re right, bestie. I’m going to wash my face and put on some comfy clothes.” I go into the bathroom to change. I look at myself in the mirror, exhale, as I pull myself together. When I go into the sitting room, Todd’s sitting on the couch in boxers and an Avenue t-shirt. He looks at me with a sheepish look on his face “Sorry - I forgot to bring shorts.”

  I laugh and playfully slap his arm. “I raised two boys remember…”

  “You tired?”

  “Not at all...are you?”

  “Not really….” He looks like he wants to say something.

  “What?”

  “Well… a few months back you told me you’d tell me about the night you lost your virginity….do you remember?”

  “Of course I remember!” I smirk.

  We move to the floor, bringing big pillows with us. Todd puts on some music, and brings me a glass of wine. “You may need this, because I think tonight’s the night I need to hear that story.”

  I laugh and cock my head, “You really wanna hear about it?”

  He scoots over by me, “Yeah. I do. I’ve been waiting for the right time. Wait… Lemme get comfortable.” He pulls his legs up and leans back on his arms, with an eager look on his face.

  I take a deep breath. My leg is nervously shaking, as I begin my story. “Okay here goes.”

  I go into detail and tell him about that whole night. It brings back a lot of memories for me. From start to the finish, I tell him everything. I’ve never talked about it to anyone, and it’s kind of liberating revealing it, like a huge load has been lifted off my chest. I put my head in my hands, embarrassed, as I think back to that night. I can still feel the pain, physical and emotional. I look at him and smirk, “That’s how I lost it, Todd. Pretty romantic, huh? Nowhere near the intensity of you and Kyra. Mine was just a plain old screw.”

  He looks at me with a questionable look on his face, and takes my hand, “Olivia, you can’t look at it like that. You don’t know he felt that way. Maybe he was fucking scared. Hell you know I was. Did you ever see him after you guys broke up?”

  I shake my head, “Nope. Never did. He left for college, and I was left without my virginity.”

  “Ever looked him up on Facebook?”

  “Oh heavens no!” I exclaim.

  With a devilish look in his eye he says, “Get your laptop. Let’s see if we can find him. Aren’t you even curious what he looks like now?”

  I’m mortified, “Are you friggin crazy? No I’m not curious. That was ages ago. For all I know, he may be dead.”

  “Well, I’m curious. What’s his name? I’m gonna look him up.”

  I put my hand on my hip, and point my finger at him. “No Todd, you are positively not. This is absolutely crazy, and what if he’s on Facebook and sees someone creeping him?”

  He laughs, “Not a chance. Come on, Olivia. It’s either that or strip poker”

  “You’re crazy, Todd O’Malley. Has anyone ever told you that?”

  He throws his hands up and smiles, “All the fucking time, Olivia. Come on, ya chicken.”

  Todd has a Facebook account, so he logs in under his name and starts searching. Shit! He finds him, and we are able to look at his profile and some of his pictures. He’s actually pretty nice looking still. When we dated, he was a surfer type, with longer blonde curly hair, which my parents hated. Todd looks surprised, “Dude is pretty fucking preserved, huh? He’s actually not bad looking. I expected him to be bald and fat. And look - his status is single.”

  “He lives in Austin. Isn’t that pretty close to Houston?” Todd asks.

  �
�Yeah. It’s about 2 hours away.”

  He looks through the pictures on the Facebook page. “Looks like he did pretty well in life; check out this boat he’s in.” He points to a picture of a huge boat that he’s standing on with a couple of young guys, who I assume must be his kids.

  I shake my head in disbelief, “I can’t believe we’re doing this. It’s crazy. I haven’t thought about this man in years.”

  He logs off and closes the laptop. “So, enough Facebook stalking. Let’s get some shut eye, and we head back home tomorrow. Tomorrow you’ll see your honey, and I’ll see mine, and everything will be roses. Probably bigger roses with you, though. Don’t forget I’ve seen your roses’ haha!”

  I roll my eyes, and flip him off, “Todd, I still can’t believe you walked in on him that day. Talk about embarrassing. That cracked me up!”

  “Embarrassing? Talk about a low shot to my manhood. Jesus, that guy’s fucking hung like a mule, Olivia. I mean seriously! Sorry, but I’m just sayin.” He laughs, shaking his head and goes into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

  When he’s finished in the bathroom, I go in to get ready for bed and slip into my bed.

  From the couch in the sitting area, I hear him on the phone with Kyra. He’s laughing and telling her how much he misses her. “Babe, I fucking miss the hell out of you. I can’t wait to see you. I can’t even go one day without missing you.” They talk for several more minutes, and I hear his footsteps walking around the sitting area. “Alrighty babe, I gotta get some sleep, and you do too. I love you Ky, more than you even know.”

  When he gets off the phone, he calls out to me.

  “Olivia? You still awake?”

  “Yeah, fixing to doze off. I have a wakeup call set for us.”

  “Cool. Sleep well, babe. Sweet dreams!”

  “You too, Todd. Thanks for being here for me. It means more than you know.”

  He laughs, “Okay, whatever. Back atcha. Night.”

  I toss and turn all night. I’m restless and can’t seem to sleep. I turn on the radio, hoping the music will help me go to sleep, but it doesn’t. I turn on the TV and try to watch, hoping it will make me fall asleep. No such luck. I look at the clock every hour. The illuminated numbers tell me I haven’t been asleep. I get out a book, and even try reading. Nothing works. I finally doze off and am awakened by a really bad dream. I’m sweating profusely, and my heart is beating fast. Alan is standing over me, swinging his fists at me, screaming at me. “You did this to them, you fucking bitch! Why did you do it, Olivia? I loved them. I hate you, Olivia. I hate your guts.” He chases me with a knife, screaming and cursing at me. I’m running for my life. Kelly’s parents are in the picture pointing and wickedly laughing at me. They don’t have faces, but I know it’s them. I guess I scream out, because the next thing I know, Todd is standing over me, nudging my arm. “Olivia, wake up babe. You’re having a bad dream.”

  I sit up in the bed, and I’m crying uncontrollably. I scream out, “I didn’t do this to them, I swear!”

  “You didn’t do what babe? What were you dreaming?” I tell him about my dream and he sits by me in bed, holding and rocking me softly. “It’s gone now. It was just a bad dream. Come on lay down, and try to go back to sleep. I’ll stay here with you.” He turns the light on. “You won’t dream it anymore, I promise. I’ve had bad dreams and once you wake up, they go away. Trust me.” He rubs my head, “Shh, it’s okay now.”

  I relax knowing he’s here. He’s dressed in his t-shirt and his jeans, and is lying on his side beside me. “I’ll stay here with you until you go back to sleep, then I’ll go get back on the couch.” He smiles and strokes my face. “It’s okay.”

  I’m breathing really hard, and he asks if I want some water. “No, I’m fine. You don’t have to stay here, Todd. I’ll be ok, really.”

  “It’s fine Olivia. I’m gonna stay here till you fall back asleep.” He turns on the radio and tunes it to soft, classical music. “Listen to the music, and relax. Come on now.” He rocks me to sleep, and I doze back off to sleep the rest of the night.

  In the morning, I wake startled, and sit up in the bed, having to collect my thoughts and realize where I am. I quietly walk into the sitting area, and find Todd peacefully asleep on the couch. I see his bare leg sticking out of the covers, and his chest is bare, with his beautiful tattoos exposed. The wakeup call rings, and he’s up as soon as he hears it.

  Rubbing his eyes and stretching, he sits up and looks over at me. Yawning he asks, “You okay?”

  Ashamed, I answer, “I’m fine. Look I’m so sorry. I can’t even remember the last time I had a bad dream. I don’t know what that was all about.”

  He smiles, and chuckles, “Well, no worries. Were you able to sleep any?”

  “Yeah, after you told me the dream wouldn’t come back, I actually did sleep. Before the dream, I tossed and turned and couldn’t sleep; then when I did, I had that horrible dream.”

  He looks up at me, “Well, it’s over and we’re going home today. Want me to order room service?”

  I give him a thumbs up, “Aww, that would be great. Lots of coffee please.”

  I go into the bathroom to shower and get ready. Room service arrives, and Todd has ordered us an array of wonderful breakfast food and at my request, lots of hot coffee. The smell of strong freshly brewed coffee permeates the room, and I’m suddenly missing Ash more than ever. I’m sure he’s having his coffee and reading the paper, at this very moment.

  We get ready and before I know it, we are packed up in the car, en route to the airport. I’m anxious to see Ash, and I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed him, until this moment. Once we board the plane, Todd realizes his seat is pretty far from mine, and without reservation, approaches the guy sitting next to me, asking if he’d consider trading seats.

  He confidently smiles, “Excuse me…I need your seat and I’ll pay you, if you’ll switch with me.” The guy looks up over his glasses at Todd, and no telling what he thinks, but is more than willing to trade. Todd has some cash out, and offers it, but the guy won’t accept.

  “That was pretty slick.” I say.

  He leans into me and snickers, “Well, money talks, bullshit walks.”

  On the short flight back, we talk about the wedding. Todd’s excited, but more excited that they don’t have to wear tuxes. He cackles, “I mean, I’d do it if Tommy really wanted me to, but fuck I hate tuxes.” I have to laugh at his brutal honesty.

  I pat his arm, “Yeah, I don’t envision you in a tux, for some reason. Didn’t you wear a tux in high school to prom?”

  “Nope. Never. I wasn’t into that scene. Tommy wasn’t either, but he went because his girlfriend was. I made my appearance at the after parties for the ladies.” He winks, with a devious look on his face.

  I gaze out the window, thinking about the last 2 days, and of how I can’t wait to get back to Highland Park, to Ash and my life. Todd is listening to music, reading a music periodical, and I have my Kindle out. We finally land in Chicago, grab our bags, and head for Todd’s car. Once in the car and on the freeway, I catch myself smiling broadly from ear to ear, because I’m so anxious to see Ash and I guess it’s evident. “You look pretty happy. You excited to see Mr. H?”

  “You have no idea.” I roll my eyes, “Look, about my bad dream…”

  He cuts me off mid-sentence and smiles. “No apologies babe. It was probably all the shit you’ve been through these past few days, and the funeral probably fueled the fire. I’ll tell you something; after my folks died, I had nightmares that were fucking horrible. They got so bad, that I ended up having to see a psychologist. She was actually a girl who used to come watch us play. Tommy recommended her, and even made the appointment for me. After the funeral, I tried to stay at the house. I actually lived with my folks, and for some reason, I just couldn’t stay there after they were killed, so Tommy let me stay at his house. He was living with Mr. H at the time. It was just the two of them, since Anne had already died. Tommy stayed
in the same room with me, because I would have these God awful nightmares, where I would wake up and start destroying things. He would get up with me, when it got really bad, and hold me until I could go back to sleep. That sounds really gay, but he would hold me and rock me like a fucking baby. I cried my fucking eyes out, Olivia. It was so fucking bad. The psychologist helped me work through things, and eventually, I got my own place. It took a long time, but I got through it, and I’m a better man now.”

  “Todd, I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine what you’ve gone through, but I admire you for getting help. I’m forever grateful that you came to be with me, and you’re such a good friend to me. Thank you.”

  “No. Thank you, Olivia. You’ve helped me get rid of a lot of demons. You’ll never know just how much I appreciate you. Hey, let’s quit talking about deep shit, and think of what we’re both gonna be doing tonight.” He winks and laughs.

  As we pull into my driveway, I see Ash on the front stoop, leaning up against the wall, with arms crossed, waiting for me, smiling.

  “Looks like somebody’s glad you’re home.” Todd says.

  “Thanks so much for the ride.”

  “No problemo, amigo. We’ll talk soon. Love ya Olivia!” With that, he speeds out of the driveway and is on his way home to Kyra.

  I jump into Ash’s arms, and I start to cry.

  He looks at me, perplexed, as he lifts me up and I wrap my legs around him. “Why the tears, Liv?”

  I put my head on his chest, and I feel safe. “I’m just so glad to be home. I missed you so much.”

  He carries me into the house, with my legs still wrapped around his waist, and traces a circle around my lips with his finger, “I wanna hear all about it. I know you need to talk... I can tell by the look on your face.”

  I tell him about the funeral and how Alan called me, begging me to see him.

  I throw my head back, and roll my eyes. “Arghh, you wouldn’t believe how Alan was talking. I couldn’t get him off the damn phone. Finally, Todd put the phone on speaker and ripped him a new one. I felt really bad, but it was my last resort.”