by Greg Trine
True, Melvin was the one with noggin power. He and Candace had been in worse scrapes than this and he’d always gotten them out.
Melvin thought and thought.
“That’s it, Melvin,” Candace said.
“What?”
“You had that ‘I’m thinking’ look on your face.”
Melvin glanced around the room. The flames were spreading. There was still time—but not a lot. If only he could find some sandwich wrap to block out the effects of bologna long enough for them to make their escape. But there wasn’t any—just the lunch meat he hated, and way too much of it.
And then it happened. Melvin’s knee began to itch. Just when his noggin power was kicking in. As everyone knows, you can’t be itchy and think at the same time.
Melvin began to sweat. He made a face.
“What is it?” Candace asked. He no longer had that ‘I’m thinking’ look.
“I have an itch.”
“Maybe I can reach it.” Candace stretched her fingers toward him—and the ropes snapped. “What the—” She moved her legs and snapped those ropes, too. “Hey, Melvin, I’m free! Let’s get out of here.”
“How’d you do that?”
“I don’t know. Try to break the ropes. I don’t think we’ve lost our superhero powers after all.”
Melvin snapped the ropes binding his hands and ankles. He and Candace stood up, flames roaring around them.
Melvin pointed to the open door of the fridge. “That wasn’t Joe the Bad Guy. It was Joe the Brainless. Look, it’s not bologna. It’s pastrami! Let’s get out of here.”
They did. Just in time. Just in the nick of time, in fact. The house began to collapse around them, and Candace kicked down the front door to make a way out. She might have been able to open the door using the knob like normal people do. But kicking down doors was a Candace thing.
Once outside, Melvin looked for any sign of Joe the Bad Guy’s van. “We have to find him before he does away with the Freds. Up, up, and away.”
Crash!
Splat!
Thud!
Kabonk!
Up and flying in five as usual. The two of them flew off to rescue the Freds. Problem was, where to look?
They zoomed between the tall buildings of downtown Los Angeles. Melvin saw his reflection all over the place, but didn’t stop to flex. There was no time. He had to save all the other Freds to save the real one. If not, his favorite rock and roller was doomed to many years behind bars.
The partners searched and searched. Downtown. Up in the hills. Throughout the valley. Out to the beach.
“I see something,” Candace called. Sure enough, it was Joe the Bad Guy’s van. It had left the road and was shooting across a grassy knoll toward the edge of a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Melvin and Candace raced to the rescue.
They dropped before the van, stopping it cold. “Come out of there with your hands up,” yelled Candace.
Melvin elbowed her and whispered something in her ear.
“I mean—not so fast!” She looked at her partner in uncrime. “Better?”
“Much,” Melvin said.
Joe the Bad Guy stepped from the van, leaving the Freds inside. “I should have known that I couldn’t outwit the famous Melvin Beederman and his lovely assistant.”
Candace smiled. No one had ever called her lovely before.
“You two are just too good,” Joe went on. “You fly, you stop speeding vans. I bet you’re even faster than a speeding bullet.”
Melvin stuck out his chest. “We are.”
“Yes, like I said, you two are too smart and too powerful. Do you mind if I squeeze your bicep?”
Melvin flexed. He’d been wanting to all day.
Joe gave Melvin’s bicep a squeeze. “Awesome. Like iron. And how sharp you look in your superhero outfits. What is that, silk?”
Candace and Melvin exchanged a look. Maybe Joe was bad heading toward dreadful, but right now he was laying on the charm and laying it on thick. “I wish I had a camera. It’s not every day that a bad guy gets to—”
“Melvin, the van!” Candace yelled.
Melvin turned. The van was heading toward the cliff. It had no driver—and all thirteen Freds were inside. There was no time to launch himself. He ran while Candace flew, fast as a speeding bullet. Maybe faster. They heard Joe laughing as they raced to catch up.
“Too late. The Freds are history.”
Not if Melvin Beederman had anything to say about it! He ran so fast the grass burned beneath his feet. Candace streaked through the air above him.
The van went over the cliff and plunged toward the jagged rocks below. So did the partners in uncrime. Melvin ran straight down the side of the cliff and whipped around the front of the van. Candace grabbed the rear bumper, just in time. Just in the nick of time, in fact.
“Go get Joe,” Candace said. “I’ve got the van.”
And Melvin did. He ran straight up the cliff. Joe had a head start but he was no match for Melvin, who, as everybody knows, was as fast as a speeding bullet. Maybe faster.
“Not so fast!” he said, grabbing Joe by the collar.
“Curses,” Joe said. He was back to his uncharming self. “I was just kidding about your bicep. And you really don’t look all that great in your cape and high boots.”
Melvin didn’t care. The Freds were safe and that meant the real Fred was, too. It was all that mattered.
18
MELVIN, YEAH, BABY
Melvin and Candace dropped Joe off at the police station and waited around for the real Fred to be released from jail.
“How can I ever thank you two?” Fred said once he was free.
“No problem, baby,” Candace said.
Melvin elbowed her and whispered, “Wrong code.”
“I mean, just doing our job, sir.” She looked at her partner in uncrime and he nodded.
She was finally learning the superhero lingo.
“Well, thanks again,” Fred said. “I’m grateful.”
“Yes,” Melvin said. “You are The Grateful Fred.”
Melvin saw Candace safely home, then returned to his tree house. His pet rat Hugo was there waiting for him.
“Squeaker squeakity?” Hugo said.
“Squeaker squeakity is right,” Melvin replied. He had no idea what he had said, but at the moment he didn’t care. He was just glad his favorite rock-and-roll band was still able to play music, thanks to him and Candace.
* * *
A few weeks later, The Grateful Fred put out a new song. “Melvin, Yeah, Baby” went straight to the top of the charts.
Fred had written it in honor of his favorite superheroes. He named it after Melvin but it was about both of them—the partners in uncrime. And Melvin Beederman listened to it again and again. Standing in his tree house, looking out over the city of Los Angeles, he was glad to be a superhero. He didn’t know when his next adventure would come … but he knew he and Candace would be ready.
As for the Freds, it was soon discovered that the Clone-o-Matic had a goodness and niceness switch as well as a devious and sinister one. It was simply a matter of using the proper switch setting and re-zapping them. All over town the Freds were doing good deeds. They helped old ladies cross the street, picked up trash along the highway, and helped first-graders learn to read.
Yep, things were looking pretty good in Los Angeles. At least for the time being. And the city had Melvin Beederman and Candace Brinkwater to thank for it.
THE GRATEFUL FRED AUDITIONS
THE FINALISTS
TONE-DEAF TESSY
* Sang “Yeah, Yeah, Baby” in the key of H (a very difficult task, since there is no key of H)
* The judges were unanimous:
“Oh, my aching eardrums!”
HOLD-YOUR-EARS BILLY
* His name says it all
* The judges were too busy holding their ears to listen
* Billy now pumps gas in Duluth
ONE-HUNDRED-DECIB
EL DAVE
* This guy doesn’t need a microphone
* Blew the toupee off one of the male judges
* Gave a female judge a new hairdo—at no extra charge!
MELVIN, YEAH, BABY
LYRICS BY THE GRATEFUL FRED
(to the tune of “She Loves You” by the Beatles)
Melvin, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Melvin, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Melvin, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah—
Baby.
Well, Melvin came to town,
And bad guys best beware–ee–air
When he gets off the ground
He can see your underwear–ee–air.
’Cause he is Melvin
And you know he runs so fast.
’Cause he is Melvin
And he never comes in last.
Ooo!
Melvin, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Melvin, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Melvin, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah—
Baby.
Melvin and Candace, too,
They are partners in uncrime–ee-ime.
Though bad guys smell like poo,
They stop them all the time–ee-ime.
’Cause he is Melvin
And you know he runs so fast.
’Cause he is Melvin
And he never comes in last.
Ooo!
Melvin, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Melvin, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Melvin, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah—
Baby.
And now, a superheroic excerpt from
MELVIN BEEDERMAN SUPERHERO
DOOM WITH A VIEW
Superhero Melvin Beederman was minding his own business, doing what he did second-best. What he did best, of course, was save the world, chase down bad guys, make the city of Los Angeles a better place to live. But he wasn’t doing that. He was doing his second-best activity—hanging out in his tree house hideout, eating pretzels with his pet rat Hugo, and watching his favorite TV show—The Adventures of Thunderman. Thunderman and his assistant Thunder Thighs also saved the world. In every single episode. Watching them always inspired Melvin to do his job a little better.
When the show was over, Melvin decided to check his e-mail before starting his day.
“I think I’ll go save the world,” he said to Hugo, his pet rat.
“Squeak,” Hugo said in reply.
This either meant “You do that, kind sir.” Or maybe it was “Are you sure you don’t want to have a push-up contest?”
Melvin was never sure what Hugo was saying. Though he had once been fluent in gerbil, talking to a rat was another story. He turned on his computer and found only one e-mail waiting for him. But it was a doozy.
I’m coming to get you, Melvin Beederman. Don’t try to hide. I know all your tricks and your weaknesses. And when I find you, you’ll be toast! Smashed-beneath-my-feet toast.
Your loving enemy,
SC
P.S. Consider yourself doomed!
SC? Melvin didn’t know any SC. He caught bad guys for a living, it was true. So there were plenty of people who wanted revenge. But who was SC? Melvin thought about some of his recent battles. Joe the Bad Guy? No, wrong initials. The McNasty Brothers? No, couldn’t be.
Melvin looked at the return address of the e-mail for a clue: [email protected]. “Holy mystery!” Melvin said out loud.
“This ain’t good.”
Holy mystery, indeed! It wasn’t (narrators never say “ain’t”).
There was only one thing to do, Melvin decided. He had to talk it over with his partner in uncrime, Candace Brinkwater. He always felt better talking to Candace. Unlike Melvin, who was an orphan and had graduated from the Superhero’s Academy, Candace lived in a normal house with her family. She was not from the academy. She was just a girl with whom Melvin had divided his cape. As they say, two superheroes are better than one. And Los Angeles was happy to have both of them.
“See you later, Hugo,” Melvin said as he moved to the door of the tree house.
“Squeak,” Hugo replied, which either meant “Go get ’em, tiger” or “How do you spell kumquat?”
Melvin wasn’t sure. And right now he was too distracted to think about it. Someone was out to get him, and he had to find out who. “Up, up, and away,” he said as he jumped out the door.
Crash!
About the Authors
Greg Trine is the author of the Melvin Beederman, Superhero books, which he creates with his illustrator sidekick, Rhode Montijo. He is also the author of the young adult book, The Second Base Club. He lives with his family in his Southern California hideout. You can sign up for email updates here.
Rhode Montijo is the illustrator of the Melvin Beederman Superhero series. He lives in Oakland, California. He believes that creating children’s books is super! His weakness: red licorice. You can sign up for email updates here.
MELVIN BEEDERMAN SUPERHERO
BOOK 1: THE CURSE OF THE BOLOGNA SANDWICH
In which superhero Melvin Beederman and third-grader Candace Brinkwater team up to stop bad guys in Los Angeles.
BOOK 2: THE REVENGE OF THE MCNASTY BROTHERS
In which the McNasty Brothers escape from prison to get revenge on Melvin and his partner in uncrime, Candace.
BOOK 3: THE GRATEFUL FRED
In which Melvin and Candace must find who is out to get rock star Fred of The Grateful Fred.
Coming Soon:
BOOK 4: DOOM WITH A VIEW
In which a mysterious e-mailing enemy nearly dooms Melvin and Candace, those partners in uncrime.
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Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
1. The Superhero’s Lab
2. Rock and Roller’s Code: Say “Baby” and “Yeah” a Lot
3. Hark!
4. Joe the Bad Guy
5. The Freds
6. Meanwhile …
7. The Clone-o-Matic 6000
8. Speaking of Midnight
9. Joe the Bad Guy’s Midnight Run
10. Meanwhile …
11. Three Freds Are Better Than One
12. That’s Using Your Freds
13. Unlucky Thirteen
14. Taking Their List, Checking It Twice
15. Arrest That Fred!
16. Thirteen Freds, Thirteen Pairs of Underwear
17. Joe the Brainless
18. Melvin, Yeah, Baby
The Grateful Fred Auditions
Melvin, Yeah, Baby: Lyrics by The Grateful Fred
Teaser
About the Authors
Melvin Beederman Superhero
Copyright
Henry Holt and Company, LLC
Publishers since 1866
175 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10010
www.henryholtchildrensbooks.com
Henry Holt® is a registered trademark of Henry Holt and Company, LLC.
Text copyright © 2006 by Greg Trine
Illustrations copyright © 2006 by Rhode Montijo
All rights reserved.
Our e-books may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at (800) 221-7945, extension 5442, or by e-mail at [email protected].
First Edition—2006
Hand-lettering by David Gatti
eISBN 9781250104663
First eBook edition: October 2015
