“Man.” Nolin shook his head as he slipped his hands into the pockets of his pants. “Think you oughtta double your fee? You’re doing the work of at least three people.”
“That little girl needs all the help she can get.”
“I appreciate your tenacity.” Nolin offered Shad a tight-lipped smile. “And I do appreciate that you’ve got a soft spot for kids. But lately you’ve been taking on more scale work, and I don’t want you to short yourself. Remember, you’ve got your own family to take care of, too.”
Then the phone rang again, and it turned out to be a call Nolin had to take. As Nolin left to go into his own office, Shad considered his partner’s allusion. The older man had been divorced for many years because his wife wearied of Nolin’s self-imposed long hours. Although at this point in time Dulsie’s steady income kept them comfortable, Shad knew she planned on staying home when they finally did have children. He was determined not to thwart her plans.
But Shad was also determined to stick to the crucial reason he submitted to this career. The only way he could uphold this country’s promise of equal access to justice was to keep his services affordable to its more desperate citizens. Court decision shouldn’t be based on who could afford the more expensive lawyer. And that was why despite his continuing reservations about this job, Shad promised to push himself to the fullness of his abilities.
Shad wasn’t sure whether or not to be glad Wally was actually in his office when Shad called there that afternoon. His heart pounded the whole time Shad was on the phone with the man, but when the conversation was ended and he hung up, Shad felt as though he was finally making some progress. He was deliberately vague about “business opportunities” he wanted to discuss with Wally in person, and managed to arrange a meeting with the man at the anchor store on Wednesday. Wally’s office would provide privacy yet had the security of being located in a public setting.
The next day, Tuesday, Monica Simms arrived at Shad’s office for a quick appointment to sign some more documents and update Shad on Charissa’s progress. Tess’s brother Vic Phillips and the girl were both with her as they entered the reception room.
This was the first time Shad actually met the man who was credited so often with helping Monica find the lawyer she needed. Since Vic worked nights at a hospital as a phlebotomist, he was able to use some of his daytime hours to help out, such as driving Monica to her appointments.
Vic and Tess did share a family resemblance. He had the same brown hair, which was cropped in a buzz cut, and had a somewhat thick girth. Shad guessed the fellow was close to his own age. Vic wore dark-striped shorts and a red tee shirt. The two men shook hands as Monica introduced them.
“I hope you don’t mind.” Shad never liked to bother with small talk. “I’ll try to get Monica in and out as quickly as possible.”
Vic smiled broadly. “Whatever it takes, dude.”
Shad smiled as he glanced down at Charissa, who stood beside Vic. She was wearing light blue shorts and a yellow tank top.
“Hello, Charissa. Did you enjoy your ice cream?”
She nodded slowly, and her regard seemed wary again.
“What kind did you have?” Shad asked.
Charissa replied softly. “Chocolate.”
“Yum. That’s one of my favorites. I’m gonna talk to your mom for a few minutes and then I’ll give her right back to you. What are you gonna do while we’re talking?”
Charissa glanced up at Vic. “Go buy candy.”
Shad smirked at the man. “Well, that’s not original, but it works.”
Shad led Monica into his office and closed the door. It had a large window, so although nobody could hear his conversations with clients, the window insured no woman could accuse him of chasing her around his desk. Shad motioned for Monica to sit in one of the two leather armchairs in front of that desk.
She was wearing her usual flowery headscarf and a long pink sundress, the skirt of which Monica adjusted around her legs as she settled into a chair.
“How’s Charissa making out?” Shad asked as he took his own seat.
“She was glad to be back in her old room.” Monica smiled faintly. “And she and Vic seem to have hit it off. But she’s also been, well, distant.” Monica’s smile faded. “Sometimes I wonder where’s that sweet little girl I used to have.”
“I would’ve been surprised if she didn’t show behavioral changes.”
“I know. It’s just ... my time left with her is limited. I want to be able to make the most of it.”
From the way her lips tightened up and her eyes began blinking rapidly, even Shad could detect the swell of emotion triggered inside Monica. He quickly diverted her attention to the papers she needed to sign, and they had a quick discussion about the next tier of strategy. Vic returned with Charissa just as they were finishing up, sparing Shad the necessity of having to come up with small talk.
“Here’s your mom back, Charissa.” Shad smiled at the pensive girl. “Think you’ll share a piece of candy with her?”
“Maybe one.” Charissa actually smiled a little, but she still stood slightly behind Vic.
As Shad watched them leave he felt his gut stir again. What was his limited intuition trying to tell him? What important detail might he be missing?
Chapter Eight
Right is right, even if everyone is against it; and wrong is wrong, even if everyone is for it.
--William Penn
Wednesday Shad drove the pickup to the train station in Jefferson City. All he’d told Dulsie was he’d be getting home an hour or so later than usual that day. Hopefully the train wouldn’t run very late.
During his wait at the depot and while riding to St. Louis, Shad used the laptop to review and update files on his other clients in an effort to distract himself from the upcoming meeting with Wally. But as the train drew closer to his destination, Shad’s thoughts turned more to the matter at hand. He remembered the first time he had to participate in a moot court while in law school. Shad’s nerves got wound up so tightly he had to duck into the bathroom just as the session was getting started because his impulse to throw up was too strong. He was glad his breakfast today had been no more than a bagel slice with cream cheese and a glass of vegetable juice cocktail.
It was after lunchtime when Shad got off at the final station, but between his anxiety and the fact he had long ago become hardened to missing meals, Shad wasn’t interested in food. He called a taxi, and it took him to the anchor store and home office of Wally’s industry.
It was a modern metal and brick building that composed part of the lineup of businesses bordering the busy parking lot. There were no trees to offer any respite from the heat that seemed magnified by radiating from the sidewalk and pavement and automobiles. In his charcoal suit and mint green shirt, Shad doubted that little less than a blasting air conditioner would offer him any relief anyway.
He drew in that well-practiced deep breath to steady his nerves, and entered the front door of the techno-store.
Business seemed to be pretty good for a Wednesday afternoon. There were maybe around a dozen customers lingering at various games and merchandise shelves, about half of them adult and the majority male. The shine and the glitz permeating the interior gave him the impression of old sci-fi movies where everything was new and squeaky clean. Shad approached the front counter and informed a young woman with a ponytail that he was there on an appointment to see Walden Palmer. She relayed his message to an older woman with short hair at the other end of the counter. The second woman picked up a telephone receiver tucked underneath and out of sight, spoke briefly into it, and told Shad Mr. Palmer would be there directly. After a wait of only a couple of minutes, a man whom Shad recognized more from over twenty years ago than from the recent photograph walked over to him.
“Good afternoon. I’m Walden.” Wally nodded politely and offered his hand, a formal smile barely curving his lips. He was wearing khaki slacks and a light blue button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled to the el
bows. Shad remembered how the man would prefer to wear jersey shorts and tee shirts in the summer time. Obviously Wally was going for a little more professional look these days.
“A good day to you.” Shad nodded with the same level of formality and shook Wally’s hand. Now that there was no turning back, his nerves started to settle down. “I’m Shad Delaney, as I suppose they warned you.”
“Glad to meet you.” Wally glanced around the store. “I confess I’m quite curious about what brings you halfway across the state to see me today.”
“We can take care of your questions all in due time.”
“Did you want to take a look around the facilities before we go back to the office?”
“Not necessary.” Shad shook his head. “I’d prefer we just get down to business.”
“I’ve no complaint about that.” Wally jerked his head toward the direction he’d come. “Office is this way.”
As Shad accompanied the man toward the back of the business he glanced around at the patrons. None of the boys were as young as Wally preferred, which didn’t surprise Shad since this was a weekday and most families would have parents at work. At the end of the hallway they entered an office, a small room with a laminated wood desk and metal filing cabinets, where Wally offered him some coffee. Shad wasn’t a coffee drinker, but he did accept a paper cup of water from a dispenser in the corner only to keep his mouth from being so dry.
Shad seated himself in the one upholstered metal chair sitting across from the desk. A flat screen computer monitor, several piles of paper, and a wood picture frame he could only see the back of took residence on its surface. Wally sat in the swivel chair on the other side of the desk.
“So what is this little business venture you wanted to talk to me about?” Wally leaned forward and clasped his hands together on the desktop.
Shad set the paper cup on the front edge of the desk. He could feel his own heart hammering away inside his chest, and although Shad didn’t feel shaky he was a little concerned he might look that way if he didn’t keep his hands clasped together between his knees. “I’m sure it must be a little unsettling to meet with an attorney under rather vague pretenses.”
Wally shrugged. “Are you representing a client?”
“I’m representing myself. But I suppose there would be reason why you might anticipate someday having to face someone associated with the justice system. Do you ever have nightmares about it?”
A subtle frown creased Wally’s brow. “I’m afraid I don’t follow where you’re trying to lead me, Mr. Delaney.”
“As I mentioned before, I saw the article about your business in last week’s paper.” Shad didn’t want to reveal his identity abruptly. He wanted to see how soon and in what manner Wally would acknowledge what he was talking about. “I’ll admit I was a little surprised you agreed to have your picture put in there. Did you presume that nobody would recognize you, or that if they did, it wouldn’t motivate them to have you investigated?”
Wally’s frown deepened as he raised his clasped hands to his chin and propped his elbows on the desk. “What’s this about an investigation? About what?”
“I know you have a very good idea what I’m talking about.” Shad found himself balancing between trepidation and gratification. “You might as well speak freely. You’re not under formal testimony. We just need to clear the air.”
Wally looked puzzled. “I think you could clear it best by telling me why you’re here.”
“Go ahead, Wally. You know what I’m referring to.”
Upon hearing his nickname, Wally furrowed his brow again. “I don’t know what game it is you’re trying to play with me, but I can assure you I don’t have time for games.”
Shad leaned forward slightly. “It doesn’t surprise me you’ve forgotten who I am.”
Wally’s expression became perplexed. “Have we met before?”
“Think back over twenty years ago. It was in a seedy little apartment in the downtown area. Remember the woman you lived with?”
Wally stared at him. Shad was perfectly comfortable with the silence that remained between them while the seconds passed. Every cut-throat lawyer and journalist was well acquainted with this little trick.
And Wally did finally break the silence, although it wasn’t as revealing as Shad hoped it would be. “So why are you here?”
“Have you forgotten that little boy you took care of for her?” Shad was feeling the same kind of anticipation he got while fishing and tentative tugs came from the end of the line. “Or do you even remember me?”
Several more seconds passed. Then Wally leaned forward, his gaze studying Shad’s face. His frown faded into surprised disbelief. When Wally finally spoke, his voice was low and raspy.
“Shadow?”
“I don’t go by that name anymore.” Shad kept his own voice low and calm.
Wally stared for a few more seconds before speaking again. “Your last name also wasn’t Delaney.”
“It’s the name of the family who adopted me.”
“Adopted?” Wally’s reaction probably wouldn’t be more credulous if Shad had told him he’d been abducted by aliens. “When were you adopted?”
“Four years after you left.”
Wally continued to stare at him. Silence passed again between them, and Shad started to realize how hard it was going to be to get him to admit anything.
“Have you figured out now why I’m here?” Shad asked.
Wally’s expression didn’t change. Many seconds passed again before he finally spoke.
“Not really. It could be one of many reasons.”
“Now you’re trying to play games with me,” Shad continued. “Denying what you did when you lived with us won’t change the truth.”
Wally leaned slightly to one side and continued to gape at Shad. “What happened to your mom?”
“Admit it.”
“She didn’t die, did she?”
Shad folded his arms over his chest and managed to lock his gaze on Wally’s. Seconds passed again, but Shad didn’t waver. He didn’t believe he’d ever managed to hold a gaze this long before with anyone besides Dulsie, and his motivation with her was entirely different.
Wally glanced down and shifted to the other side in his chair. “I don’t understand why you seem so ... aggressive. I took care of you. Don’t you remember all the places I took you? The toys I bought you? I was the one who cooked your meals and read you stories.”
Shad didn’t budge. Time continued to pass.
Wally shook his head. “Why won’t you talk to me?”
“Admit it.”
“What do you want me to admit?” Wally leaned back in his chair so far that he pushed it back slightly from the desk. “That I cared for you? I did, you know. I wished I didn’t have to leave you when I did.”
“You wished I hadn’t grown older.” Wally’s reluctance to respond couldn’t be a good sign.
“Your mom didn’t want me around anymore. She threw me out.”
Shad suspected part of his mounting annoyance was caused by Wally’s insistence at calling that woman his mom. “Either you talk about what you did, or I’m gonna walk outta here and you won’t know what I’m gonna come up with next.”
Wally seemed a little stunned. “What happened to you?”
Shad started getting to his feet. “The fact you won’t admit it tells me you’re still doing it. What you’re doing is a criminal offense, by the way. Since that’s all –”
“Wait!” Wally sat up and held out an upright palm. “You’ve got it wrong. You’ve got me wrong.”
Shad stood and leveled his gaze at Wally again. “I know what happened.”
“You don’t know everything. Please.” Wally turned his palm down and lightly patted empty air. “Sit down. You’re right. We do have a lot to talk about. You need to know that things have changed.”
As Shad settled back into the chair he felt his eyes narrow as he locked his gaze on Wally’s again. “Go on.�
�
“I had just graduated high school when I met your mom. You see, I wasn’t more than a kid myself. I guess you could say I hadn’t really found myself yet, so I was totally unprepared for what effect you would have on me. You were such a ... independent child. Your mom seemed to ignore you most of the time, and when she did pay attention it was usually to scold or criticize you. I felt sorry for you. When I did things to make you happy, it just brought out ... those warm, fuzzy feelings, I suppose. I had a sense of purpose. And my concern for you, well, I just acted on what I felt. It’s not like I forced you. And you didn’t mind it.” Wally seemed to study him. “Until now.”
Shad felt as though a dozen emotions were wrestling around inside him, too tangled up to sort out. “I’ve minded it ever since I finally came to understand that you used me to satisfy yourself.”
“Used?” Wally shook his head. “I’ll admit I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have done it. But I mean it when I say I cared for you. It broke my heart when your mom told me to pack up and move out.”
“If your interest in me had been anything more than physical, you wouldn’t have so easily left me there.”
“It wasn’t easy! I missed you a lot. Thought about you for a long time.”
“Before or after you found another boy to diddle?”
Wally’s expression registered mild shock. “I’m not one of those perps who hang around playgrounds with a bag of candy and a tube of lubricant.”
“Why waste your time at playgrounds when you can find an easier child within your circle of family or friends to, as you put it, take care of?”
Wally studied him for several seconds before continuing. “It was a phase. After I had to leave I realized that what we did wasn’t ... what we should have done. It wasn’t really something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. It was more like ... an experiment. I was still figuring out who I was. Just because we did that a few times doesn’t mean I’ve done it for life.”
“Three years does not equal a few times.”
“A few years then. I’m not the same person I used to be. I’m settled down now. I’m even married.” Wally held up his left hand to display an ornate gold band. “I let my picture be put in the paper, as you pointed out, because I don’t have anything to fear or to hide. Don’t condemn me on a misjudgment I made in my youth.”
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