by Mia Hoddell
“Come on, Raine. I’ve won my home race and want to celebrate. Do it for me.”
“What about the paparazzi? It’s bad enough it’s dark.”
They were still camped outside our flat, their cameras poised every time I exited the building. There hadn’t been any more stories released—thank God—but their constant presence played on my mind daily. It was only a matter of time before they snapped a picture they could twist a story around. No matter how good at hiding I’d become, they always found me, and it left me in the insufferable position of either having to face them to see Teo or give him up again.
“What’s the worst they can do? You have to remember no one’s after you, Raine. You don’t need to spend your life hiding.”
“They make me vulnerable. The more pictures of me and Teo get out, the number of people who hate me will increase, and so will the number of people who want to get to me.”
Dustin placed a finger under my chin, tilting my face to meet his gaze. “Nothing, and I mean nothing, like that is ever going to happen again. You hear me? I won’t allow it and I’m sure if you told Teo the truth neither would he. Don’t let those fuckers ruin your life. You didn’t let them mess with Teo’s so why should they get you down?”
“That’s easy for you to say.”
Dustin sighed and dropped his hand. His eyes filled with regret. “I know. Believe me, if there was a way I could make all of this go away I would.”
“Do you think Teo will notice if I don’t show up?”
Dustin looked at me like I’d asked the most ridiculous question possible. “Uh…yeah. I think that’s a definite.”
I tried to figure out what could have caused Teo’s sudden change of heart. I could only come to one conclusion.
“Dustin, did you say something to him?”
“I say a lot to him, he’s my brother, so you’re going to have to be more specific.”
“Did you tell him what happened or tell him to be nice to me?”
“Of course not!” he answered too quickly, his tone too much of a protest.
I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. “Dustin…”
“I may have pointed out how you’re both incredibly dense and still love each other, but I didn’t tell him anything he didn’t already know. If he’s changed then it’s on him.” He clasped my hand in his, and with a sudden movement tugged me off the bed. “Come on, we’re going to be late.”
“But—”
He dragged me through the flat. I knew I shouldn’t have gone into his room dressed for a night out; it made his job too easy.
Dustin paused in front of me, placing his hands on my shoulders. “Nothing’s going to happen to you tonight, Raine. I won’t allow it and neither will Teo, Zeke, or Flynn. The same goes for the guys on my team. Everyone loves you. You couldn’t be safer.” His gaze held mine, imploring me to hear the truth in his words.
“Zeke and Flynn are going to be there?”
I hadn’t seen them since I left Teo, and I didn’t know whether that made me nervous or excited. Probably both. Although I used to be good friends with them, I couldn’t predict how they’d react to me. I assumed their loyalty lay with Teo.
“Oh sure, now I’ve got your interest. Celebrating my win wasn’t enough to get you there, but they are,” he teased, false sarcasm lacing his words.
“You’re a close second. Don’t worry. Now let’s get out of here before I change my mind on this ridiculous idea.”
Dustin wrapped an arm around my shoulder as we exited the flat. “That a girl.”
Not once did Dustin remove his arm during the short walk to the local pub. He was the life jacket keeping me afloat in a sea of raging emotions all vying for prime position within me. Neither of us spoke along the way. I was trying too hard to keep my gaze from the shadows. It had been a cool summer night like this when everything had changed for me.
We stopped in front of the entrance and Dustin turned me to face him. “Remember, if things get too much, find me and we’ll leave. Even if it’s the slightest thing you tell me, all right?”
How I ever got so lucky to have a friend like Dustin is beyond me, because he genuinely meant it. Even so, that didn’t mean I would listen to him. This was his night and I refused to ruin it. I could always persuade Zeke or Flynn to walk with me if they didn’t hate me. I stiffened.
Oh god, what if they hate me?
Dustin stooped until his eyes were level with mine, misreading my flinch. “You’re going to be fine, Raine.”
I swallowed back my fear and nodded. Dustin opened the door and we stepped inside. He got a few claps on the back and cheers as he walked through the room, people raising their glasses at him. I shrank against his side even though none of the attention was on me. Knowing that allowed me to breathe a little easier as we made our way to the bar.
Well, when I said none of the attention was on me it wasn’t technically the truth. One set of eyes remained firmly focused on me. They didn’t waver once as we made our way over. A smile played on Teo’s lips when he saw us approaching. It was as if no one else in the room existed, his eyes boring into mine and making it impossible to look away.
“You came.”
“I didn’t really have an option.”
A familiar, slightly drunk, squeal came from behind me and arms wrapped around my neck.
“You’re here! You’re out in public!”
I couldn’t help but laugh, not bothered by the curious looks Nadine drew.
“Yeah, I am.”
She held up her pint glass to Dustin as if saluting him. “Way to go, magic boy. This is your best trick by far.”
He chuckled. “Nadine, you’re wasted.”
“It’s a party. I’m supposed to be wasted.”
I don’t think there was one person who didn’t roll their eyes at her.
“What? I speak the truth. Anyway, I’m going back to my date. I’m glad you’re here, Raine.” She hugged me briefly, the smell of alcohol on her breath forming a cloud around me, and then she was gone. When she’d disappeared back into the crowd, I returned my attention to the guys.
“What do you want to drink?” Teo asked me.
“Uh…orange juice,” I said at the same time Dustin said, “She’ll have a pint.”
I pursed my lips.
“Quoting Nadine, it’s a party,” he said. “You’re supposed to drink.”
My scowl deepened. “You’re pushing your luck, Coates.”
I didn’t hear his sigh over the noise yet I saw it. His shoulders raised and slumped while his chest heaved dramatically. He knew I only drank at home. When I was out I liked to remain aware of my surroundings.
“One pint isn’t going to hurt, Raine.”
“Neither is one orange juice.”
We remained locked in a staring contest until Teo handed me a glass of juice. I didn’t miss the smug look he threw Dustin. “Come on, we’ve got a booth over there.”
Teo took my hand, leading me to the back corner of the pub. We had barely reached the booth when two strong arms embraced me from behind. My body turned to stone at the restrained power behind the grip, and when I smelt the masculine aftershave I held my breath, paralysed. My grip on Teo’s hand tightened to a crushing intensity, grabbing his attention as I stared at him with wide eyes.
“Raine!” My body relaxed enough for me to exhale as I recognised the voice. When I noticed the black head of hair and devilish smile, I relaxed even further, relief flooding my heart and making it beat again. Zeke tugged me under his arm. “Hey, Flynn, it’s Raine!”
Flynn looked up, his baby blue eyes wide with surprise, but like Zeke they too held a friendly warmth. They were acting like nothing had happened and there hadn’t been a year since they’d last seen me. Immediately, Flynn was standing, stepping around the few girls who surrounded him in the booth. Within seconds I was in his arms too, awkwardly hugged around Zeke’s grip on my shoulder, and Teo’s grip on my hand.
“Hell, it’s good to see
you again,” he murmured in my ear with his familiar Australian lilt, squeezing me so tightly I giggled.
“It’s good to see you all again too.” Everything about the exchanges felt natural and comforting.
“Okay, you lot. Get your hands off my girl.” Teo extricated me from their holds. My cheeks flared at his words and I dropped my gaze to the floor, but not before I saw their raised eyebrows and questioning stares.
Teo slid into the booth and dragged me in alongside him. His thumb ran circles over the back of my hand, and if he meant the gesture to be soothing he was failing. All it did was quicken my pulse and make everything else hard to focus on.
“So how have you been and what have you been up to? It’s not the same without you around the paddock. You were my unofficial mascot,” Zeke said, gaining a warning glare from Teo. Zeke had always liked to wind him up about our relationship even though we both knew he’d never try it on.
“From what I’ve seen you’re doing fine without me. Third in the championship and all,” I said.
“I could be first if I had one of your good luck kisses again.” He winked at Teo, who growled in warning. His hand found my thigh, clasping it possessively.
“Zeke, when have I ever given you a good luck kiss?”
He flattened his hands on the table, leaned across, and puckered his lips. When Teo shot him a warning glare, he sank back into his seat and said, “There’s a first time for everything. It seemed to work for Teo for a while.”
A pregnant pause surrounded the table, Zeke’s unspoken words—it’d worked until I left him—hanging in the air. I glanced down at the shiny wooden surface, not sure how to respond. I actually wished I’d listened to Dustin and gone with something stronger to drink.
“I’ll be back in a second. I need to go to the toilet,” I said in a hurry, not giving any of them time to question me. Grabbing Nadine on my way through the pub, I dragged her into the bathroom, needing the distraction from the discomfort and a minute to compose myself.
The second I returned and slipped back into the booth, Teo watched me with concern. “Are you doing okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good.”
Zeke and Flynn were more taken by their dates. Zeke placed kisses along a redhead’s neck while Flynn crushed his lips to those of the brunette he’d found for the evening. It was a sight I had become accustomed to around the guys, back when Teo took no part in it. Now it sent stabs of irrational jealousy through me. It killed me to know I’d made his new lifestyle possible.
I’d seen all of the pictures—how he acted with the grid girls at races—and heard the stories from the guys on Dustin’s team. At the time I’d told myself I had no right to be bothered by it, even though that didn’t prevent it from shredding my heart into even smaller pieces. I was the one who broke up with him, after all. Regardless, I couldn’t control the year’s worth of hurt rearing its ugly head.
“You don’t have a date tonight?” I asked with more disgust than I intended.
Teo watched me with surprise. “Of course I do. It’s you.”
That took me aback for a second. At no point in the day had I considered this a date. Sure, he’d asked me, but I’d arrived with Dustin and was there for him.
“If you’re looking for a one-night stand, you picked the wrong girl. Where were all of your usual skanks when you asked me?” I hissed, not even sure why I was getting angry or trying to pick a fight.
Teo’s eyes darkened, his jaw locking. When he spoke, a cold irritation laced his words. “Stand up.”
“Why?” I leaned back against the seat, not allowing him to pass as he slid closer to me. Everything about the situation should have triggered an attack, but I felt unusually in control. Even my hands were steady when I raised them to fold my arms stubbornly.
“Because I need to talk to you and I don’t want to do it here.”
“Why not? Are you ashamed of the amount of women you’ve slept with and don’t want everyone to know what a man-whore you really are? Because I think it’s common knowledge.”
“Raindrop, I don’t want to scare you by throwing you over my shoulder and carrying you out of here, but I will if you don’t stand up and follow me.”
I huffed and pulled myself from the seat. Zeke and Flynn glanced up momentarily, soon returning their attention to their girls.
Taking a step back, I allowed Teo to walk past me then I followed him out the front door, not even considering what time of day it was.
We moved away from the group of smokers who lingered outside the building, walking a few metres down the street in the opposite direction. When Teo stopped, I cocked my hip and glowered at him.
“What did you want to talk to me about?”
“Um…how about what the hell all that was?”
“What did it sound like?”
“It sounds like you’re mad at me over something you made possible.”
“I am. Because while I was—” I cut myself off. “You were shagging everything out there. Is there a girl on the grid in any country you haven’t slept with?”
“While you were what?” Of course that would be the sentence he latched on to. When I didn’t answer, he took a step towards me. “While you what, Raine?”
“Nothing. I thought it would take you a little longer to move on, that’s all.”
“Who said I moved on?”
“Uh, the numerous women you leave behind?” I hated the way my voice cracked, but Teo had forced me back against the wall. The rough bricks grazed my bare shoulders.
“Yeah, numerous, quick fucks or easy lays. None of them meant anything.”
“Since when was that your style?”
“Since the one person I wanted ripped my fucking heart out and took it with her when she ran. I never got over you, Raine. No matter how many women there were, none of them were ever good enough. They weren’t you.”
I gasped, my bottom lip trembling at his words. “Then why didn’t you come back?”
He braced himself against the wall, his face lowering to mine so barely an inch remained between us. I could feel his every breath against my cheek. “You broke up with me, Raine. You told me you didn’t want me and you wished you’d never met me. I was the biggest mistake of your life is what you said. I’d lost the thing that meant most to me, I wasn’t going to lose the second thing and give up racing as well.”
I flinched at the words I’d spoken a year ago on the phone. His face twisted into a pained snarl as he repeated them, the dark shadows cast under his chin by the streetlights making his face even crueller.
“So tell me, Raine, did you mean all of that? Because now I’m back I don’t buy a single word. You haven’t moved on. The only guy in your life is Dustin, and I saw the way your body reacted to me in the garage earlier. You still want me.” He dipped his head closer, his nose brushing against mine. Even that slightest touch sent a spark of longing through me, my gaze dipping to his lips.
“Teo…” I whispered breathlessly, not sure what to say. I couldn’t think with him so close; all I could focus on was his lips, my mind trying to remember his taste.
“Tell me, Raine, was it all true?” His voice dropped to a dangerous growl, his teeth nipping my earlobe and sending a shiver shooting down my spine.
I shut my eyes and took a shaky breath, too scared to see his reaction. “No. None of it was true.”
“Do you still love me?”
The intensity in his words made my breath hitch. I was only able to focus on his deep timbre making my knees weak. The heat from his body embraced me, banishing the chill from the night. Not that I’d have felt cold without him. The blood pounding in my veins had me sweating.
“Answer me, Raine. Do you still love me?” He tilted his head, lowering his lips to my neck. Placing a light kiss at the base, he then sank his teeth lightly into my skin. I whimpered at the sensation as he began working his way up until he reached my ear, leaving a fiery trail wherever he touched.
“Raindrop?”
<
br /> “I never stopped.”
His lips were on mine in an instant. Moist and searing hot, they moulded against me as if we hadn’t been apart for a year. He kissed me like he was starving, pulling my bottom lip between his teeth. He let out a moan when I whimpered. Taking his hands in mine, I placed them on my hips and wound my arms around his neck. I ran my fingers over the short hair at the base of his head and kissed him just as hard.
He pulled back slightly, resting his forehead on mine. Both of us were breathing heavily. “Don’t you ever fucking forget it, okay? I’ve only ever loved you, baby, and I will not have you leaving me again.”
I hid my face in the crook of his neck, breathing him in as I nuzzled his skin, which was scratchy with evening stubble.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, and both of his arms circled me tightly, keeping me off the wall.
“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have given up.”
A few minutes passed and I couldn’t get one question out of my mind. It was one I didn’t want to voice, scared of what the answer would be. However, I needed to know. “Teo?”
He hummed in response, the sound vibrating against the hypersensitive spot behind my ear.
“How can you forgive me so easily?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.
“Because I love you. If it’s a choice between holding a grudge or moving forward with you, I pick you every time. Although you’re going to have to explain a few things at some point.”
“I know.”
We remained in each other’s embrace for a while, basking in the warmth of each other as our heartbeats returned to normal. My mind was memorising every contour of his body, enjoying the feeling of being in his arms where nothing scared me. It was a feeling I never thought I’d experience again.
“Do you want to head back inside?” Teo murmured into my hair.
“You go, I’ll follow you in shortly.”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded against him. “I just need a second.”
Teo unwound his arms, his touch lingering. Eventually, he separated fully and turned back to the entrance to the pub.
I noticed the difference immediately. Where the night hadn’t bothered me before, it now returned to its menacing and sinister self. The shadows came alive, forming threatening shapes in the dim light and concealing what was in them. Dark passageways seemed never ending, my vision tunnelling as I looked down the one opposite me.
