by Mia Hoddell
“Look at me, Raine.”
Grudgingly, I met his gaze, the brown pools in his eyes swirling with fear and sorrow.
“Don’t give up on us yet. Please. I can’t lose you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not going to give up and disappear like last time, Raine. If you walk out of this car without agreeing to fight for us, I’m following you up those stairs. I will follow you everywhere you go until you agree to be with me, because I only just got you back. The press will get a story either way. It’s up to you whether you let them win and force us to suffer it separately.”
Tears burned my eyes. He didn’t understand, and if I explained he’d go after Aston. He’d lose his career and I’d lose him to guilt because Teo would blame himself.
“Please fight for us, Raindrop…please.” He lifted my hand to his lips, kissing the back. Only when something wet dropped on my hand did I look at him fully. A damp trail marked his cheek from a lone tear. I’d never seen Teo cry, and the sight had my insides twisting into knots.
Why did I keep hurting this man?
“Please, baby.”
No part of me wanted Teo cut from my life; it had been bad enough the first time. However, I’d experienced what happened when Aston didn’t get his way once.
“I’m not leaving here, Raine. Not until you give me the answer I want or tell me you’re leaving because you don’t want me. If that’s the case I’ll go without a fight.”
I stared at him through glazed eyes, my mouth open. Now was my chance to break things off, to save myself, but the words wouldn’t come. It was the only thing I couldn’t lie about and Teo knew it.
“I can’t,” I whispered.
“I know, baby. So don’t push me away; let me fight beside you. Let me protect you.”
I weighed my options, replaying my earlier determination.
I couldn’t do it. My heart wouldn’t repair if I left Teo again, and in that moment I was certain anything Aston threw at me couldn’t be worse than living without Teo.
“Okay, I’ll fight.” I swallowed. “I’ll fight for us.”
He groaned in relief, his head tilting back. “Thank God.”
Yanking me across the centre console, Teo crushed his lips down on mine. Claiming me with his mouth, he put all of his anger, frustration, and love into the kiss, holding me in place by the back of my neck.
“I love you, Raine. If I lost you again it would break me.”
I remained quiet, not able to promise him further than tomorrow. There was too much uncertainty.
Chapter Nineteen
Raine
The flat was eerily silent when I walked in. I expected Dustin to pounce on me as soon as I entered, yet he was nowhere to be seen and the door to his room remained shut.
“Dustin?” I called out, receiving no response. That was odd.
I strode over to his door and knocked quickly, cracking it open. What I found put all of my problems to shame.
I rushed into the room, taking in the full picture. Dustin lay among his rumpled sheets that were mostly hanging off the bed. There was an empty condom wrapper on the floor near Dustin’s shirt and a half drunk bottle of Jack Daniels on his nightstand. The entire place smelt like sex and alcohol.
Dustin stared blankly at the ceiling, not even registering my presence until I appeared next to him. I kicked off my shoes and lay down beside him. “What happened?”
“She came back.” He belched. “Why can’t she leave me alone? Why do I always cave?”
I didn’t need to ask who he was talking about.
“Dustin, she’s not worth this.”
“Don’t I know it.”
I stayed silent for a minute. He didn’t need me lecturing him, and I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t seen him like this since they first broke up. Then again, maybe I’d been too focused on my own problems to notice. The signs were there; he was drinking more, getting in fights, using his playing cards…I’d ignored it all.
He’d been there every step of the way for me—the least I could do was return the favour.
“Want to talk about it?”
“I want to get drunk,” he said, his words already slurring.
“I think I could join you there.”
“Bad date? I’m going to kill Teo.”
I picked up the bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a glass. Throwing it back, the burning liquid blazed a fiery trail down my throat while I poured another and handed it to Dustin.
“Paparazzi. Teo was great.”
“Sorry.” He held the glass up to me. “To wiping our memory.” He chinked the glass against the bottle I held. It sounded like a great idea.
Chapter Twenty
Teo
I had finished up my meeting with the developers of my race car and was heading back towards the car park. Still reeling from the invasion of mine and Raine’s privacy and her comments, my strides were long and purposeful. The anger seethed within me, causing my whole body to become tense. I understood why she couldn’t cope. Well, I tried to, seeing as she refused to tell me anything. I knew how it felt to be in the spotlight. I hated the attention I got. I only wanted to race.
What’s worse was I hadn’t been able to find out shit from Mickey, and I couldn’t do anything to prevent the story coming out.
All of that meant when Hattersey fell into step beside me in the corridor, I was ready to take a swing at him. And he hadn’t even opened his mouth yet.
“Enjoy your wake-up call this morning?”
My teeth snapped together, my molars grinding against one another. He should have been the first person I considered, yet I’d been preoccupied with trying to figure Raine out.
“I told you to leave her the fuck alone.”
“Then maybe you should leave her alone. You’re always the one who causes it.”
Acting on pure rage, I had him pinned to the wall by his throat within a second. “Don’t you ever come near her again. You leave her out of this.”
His hands clawed at my arms, his feet struggling to remain on the floor. When footsteps thundered towards us, I knew I only had seconds to deliver my message. I pressed my arm further into his throat, cutting off his air.
“Understand? You leave her out of this or I will throw everything I have into ruining you. I’m sure you’ve slipped up somewhere.”
A set of hands were suddenly on my shoulders, hauling me backwards. Mickey.
“What the fuck are you doing, Teo?”
Shrugging him off, I rolled my shoulders. “Nothing, just making sure we’re both on the same page.”
Not sticking around to be reprimanded, I stormed off in the direction of the car park. If Aston cost me my relationship with Raine, he was a dead man.
* * *
Though I’m sure I broke countless laws driving over to Raine’s, I didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was getting back to her quick enough for her not to have changed her mind. Dustin had warned me to avoid the press, and I couldn’t even protect her from that. I knew the second I saw a camera I was going to be in trouble. However, I didn’t expect for her to try to bail on us again.
Knocking on the forest green door to their flat, it was flung open wide sooner than I expected.
“Hey! It’s Teo!” Raine stood there in nothing but her t-shirt and panties. Very tiny, pink lace panties. The sight caused my Adam’s apple to bob before she distracted me. Her arms were out wide and she had a glass of amber liquid in her hand. Some of it sloshed out and splashed on the floor with her movements that didn’t look coordinated at all.
“Dusteen, ist Teo!” she slurred, squashing all hope that she was only drinking apple juice. Stepping into the flat around her, I shut the door behind me.
Dustin stumbled from his room, wearing only a ridiculous grin and his jeans. He also had a glass in his hand, only his was empty.
“Teoooo! Heyo.” He laughed. “Hey, I’m rhyming.” He pulled me into a hug, engulfing me in a cloud of alcohol fu
mes. When he stumbled back I looked between the two of them suspiciously. What the hell was going on?
“Want to join in? We’re doing shots next.”
Raine threw back the rest of her drink. Screwing her eyes shut, she shook her head and swallowed. Her arms flapped around her head until she opened her eyes and gasped for air.
“Shots, shots, shots!” she chanted, jumping up and down, which only highlighted the fact she wasn’t wearing a bra as her boobs danced freely beneath her shirt.
If I’d thought she was this badly affected, I’d never have left. And what the fuck was Dustin thinking encouraging her?
“I think you’ve had enough, Raine.” I managed to pry the glass from her grasp and set it down on the table behind me. When I turned back to her, Raine pouted at me. Her bottom lip jutted out, and her eyebrows lowered over her eyes. It wasn’t up to her usual standards. “I think you’ve both had enough.”
Dustin flipped me off and headed to the kitchen. I was torn between going after him and staying with Raine, who looked more and more unsteady on her feet with every second that went by. The decision was made for me when Dustin came back seconds later with a can of beer, already open, and two shot glasses. Raine cheered and clapped beside me when he placed them on the table, almost sprawling across it as he misjudged the gap in his impaired state.
When Raine went to run across the room to him, I grabbed her around the waist. She squealed when I hoisted her off the floor and began kicking her legs. I locked my arms tightly against her bucking.
“Put me down, Teo!”
“You’re not drinking any more,” I said sternly. From the corner of my eye, I saw Dustin down two beer shots in quick succession. In his state the beer would only worsen his condition, but at least it wasn’t something stronger. Hopefully it’d give me a few extra minutes to control Raine.
“You no fun,” she complained, still trying to wriggle from my grip.
Walking her over to the sofa, I pushed her down into it. “Stay here.”
I met her gaze with a steely look, praying she listened to me then turned to Dustin.
“Dustin, give me the can.” He ignored me and continued to pour another shot. “Come on, Dust. You’ve had enough.”
With surprising accuracy for a drunk, Dustin slid a shot across the table. It glided along the surface easily, straight into Raine’s waiting hands. Before I could snatch it from her grip, she threw it back.
I intercepted the glass on its way back down the table and the second one Dustin fired at her.
Next I headed for the can and, remarkably, Dustin gave it up without a fight. The reason became clear when I shook it and found more than three quarters already gone.
With a sigh I headed into the kitchen, dumped the rest down the sink, and left the can on the counter. Footsteps and a giggle behind me alerted me to their presence. They were whispering rather loudly, conspiring about getting another can out of the fridge. Raine kept giggling, causing Dustin to shush her. They sounded like children trying to plan a prank, only worse.
Dustin attempted to open the fridge and I slammed my hand down on it, forcing it shut.
“Come on, Teo. Live a little.”
“Go sit down and I’ll bring you out a drink.”
Mercifully, they both left. By their exaggerated grins, they were no doubt expecting more alcohol. However, they thought wrong. Pulling two glasses from the cupboard I filled them with water.
By the time I returned to the living room, Dustin had passed out on the sofa and Raine wasn’t looking too good either. Placing Dustin’s glass on the table, I moved to sit next to her. I pushed her hair back from her face and held out the water.
“Here, drink this. It’ll help.”
She’d only taken a sip when she shoved it back into my hands violently.
“I’m going to be sick.” Scrambling from the chair, she raced into the bathroom.
With a deep sigh, I followed her. I could see how the rest of my day was going to be spent.
* * *
Once I was finally happy Raine had finished throwing up, I carried her limp and tired body back to her bedroom.
“Stay awake for me a little longer, okay, baby?”
I propped her up against the headboard, brushing her hair back off her clammy forehead. Thankfully I’d got there in time to hold it back. I didn’t fancy washing her hair at that point.
She groaned. Jogging out of the room, I grabbed the glass of water off the table and hurried back.
“Raine.” I sat beside her on the bed, nudging her with my free hand. “Raine, baby, come on. You need to drink this.” After everything she’d drunk and then proceeded to throw up, she was going to feel like hell when she woke. Drinking water probably wouldn’t do much to help, but she needed to rehydrate.
“Gooway,” she mumbled, flopping over on the bed away from me. I placed the drink on the nightstand and hauled her back up, supporting her against my chest.
Oh Raine, what am I going to do with you?
“Come on baby, drink this and then you can sleep. You’ll feel better.”
Lazily, she took the glass I’d picked up again from me. She sipped tentatively, as if she wasn’t sure whether she’d bring it straight back up, and finally managed to finish it all. Holding it out to me, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.
“Seep now,” she mumbled.
“Yes, Raindrop. You can sleep now.” I placed a kiss to her forehead, sliding out from underneath her. I had thought she was already asleep, but her grip tightened the second I moved.
“Teo?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“Don’t let them hurt me again. I can’t be hurt for you a second time,” she muttered, then collapsed against the pillow.
“Who’s hurt you, Raine?”
She didn’t answer. The only sound to come from her mouth was a snore. I wanted to brush off the comment as drunken ramblings, but I knew better than that. I was already aware of the fact someone had hurt her, yet it was the second statement that gutted me. If she’d been hurt because of me, I’d never forgive myself.
Everything was slowly mounting up to point to that conclusion.
Looking at her peaceful face, I’d never have guessed the pain she endured on a daily basis. To even consider the possibilities of what she went through had an unbearable pressure weighing down on my shoulders.
With a heavy breath, I slid my hand out from her grip. I didn’t want to leave her, but I figured I should check on Dustin. He was also trying to drown out his own problems and the only reason big enough to make him sink this far was Elora. Dammit to hell, I wished he’d tell me what the bitch did to him. My brother had a big heart and I had a feeling he was being taken advantage of.
In the living room, Dustin was no longer sprawled out on the sofa. He balanced precariously behind it with a bubble gum pink shirt in his hands and scissors in the other.
Oh hell, this was not going to end well.
Holding the two up, he attempted to cut a hole in the material, missing with every swipe. I approached him slowly on the third swipe, keeping my hands out in case he moved to attack me.
“Dustin, give me the scissors,” I urged, and his head snapped up like he’d only just realised I was in the room.
“She can’t have it back!”
I assumed he was talking about the shirt. “Of course not, but can I have the scissors?”
He glanced between his hands and the palm I held open. I could see every thought playing out on his face, and when he finally handed them over I exhaled in relief. Placing them in the back pocket of my jeans so he wouldn’t be tempted to pick them up again—because having to take him to A&E for stiches was the last thing I needed—I returned my attention to him. He scrunched the shirt into a ball, muttering under his breath.
Furiously, he palmed it then, with an unsteady arm, held it out in front of him. Shuffling only his feet back, he extended his arm as far as it could go so he was bent over.
“Dustin, don’t.” I could see what he was about to do.
He threw the shirt up, bringing his leg back at the same time. Swinging it forward, he missed the falling material by a metre. The momentum from the kick took him and he landed flat on his ass with a grunt.
“Come on, let’s get you to bed,” I said, hauling him up. I draped one of his arms over my shoulder and helped him stagger to his room. When we were beside the bed, I angled him so his back was to the mattress and gave a small push so he collapsed on top of it. Swinging his legs up, I heaved him into the middle. I didn’t need him falling out of bed on me.
Satisfied he wasn’t going anywhere, I returned to Raine. She was still out cold, and had worked herself under the covers. She didn’t even feel it when I slid into the bed next to her.
All I hoped was my presence truly was enough to keep the nightmares away or else I was in for a long evening.
Chapter
Twenty-One
Raine
It had been nearly a week since the embarrassing night I puked my guts out in front of Teo after I’d become drunker than I’d ever been. I’d woken up with a pounding headache, the taste of vomit lining my mouth, and all light stung like someone had been stabbing my eyeballs with thousands of needles. When I’d seen Teo curled up beside me the next morning I’d nearly died of mortification and resolved to never drink in excess again.
Dustin, however, had it worse. Even now he still had a giant bruise on his ass that remained a mystery until Teo explained what had happened. It seemed that our plan to erase our memories had worked, at least in Dustin’s case. I, on the other hand, remembered every painstaking moment.
Much to my relief, that was the end of our humiliation, and we’d all agreed to never bring it up again.
Life went on as usual. Teo and I were back on track with our relationship, and we were doing everything we could to avoid the reporters. We kept to a random schedule of whose house we slept at, hoping it would make us harder to pin down. So far it had been effective. We’d had no more run-ins like the one that caused my previous freak out—only a few people here and there.
