Ruined (The Seraphim Series Book 1)

by Sophia Stafford

  “I don't know, but you should have told us how powerful the spell was!” Rebecca’s face was pained. “Why did you lie? What if something had really happened and you’d died?”

  “I just didn't want you and Seb to try and stop me.” She shrugged at the lame excuse. “I'm sorry.”

  “Well, you should have said something.” Her features softened to a soft smile. “Seb’s still mad.”

  “Yeah, I know that.” Her brother had briefly come to check on her condition, and they hadn't spoken since. That had been a whole day ago. “I'm glad you’re okay, but I'm still too pissed at you right now, Lil,” had been his exact words.

  “Jeremy’s mad at me too.” Lilliah bit her lip. “I’ve been calling him like mad but he’s not picking up.”

  “Yeah. He’s been telling me how mad he is at you.” Rebecca rolled her eyes. “It seems that now he’s fallen out with you, I’m his number one BFF.”

  “I just want to tell him I’m sorry.”

  “For what? For having a boyfriend?” Rebecca snorted. “Please, Jeremy will get over it. You have bigger stuff to worry about right now.”

  “I just don’t want him to be hurt.”

  “You don’t have to worry about Jeremy right now. You have to worry about your mum and your brother. Who I’m actually going to go and see right now. Want to come?”

  Lilliah shook her head. “No. I'll go and see him again later. Maybe after he's eaten. He’s happier after he eats. ”

  Opening one eye, Lilliah stared at the colourful vase in front of her. It was still intact. She opened her other eye, quickly scanning the rest of the room, a part of her hoping she had missed the vase, but had hit everything else around her. Still nothing. Everything was exactly the same. Nothing was broken or burnt, not even slightly cracked. She stood, defeated. She had been trying to summon her powers for the past two days; so far, she hadn’t even managed a spark let alone a flame or a blast like she had been able to conjure when she was in Heaven. She had no idea what she was doing wrong, but with no one else around to show her how it was supposed to be done, she was on her own.

  “What do you mean, a blast?” Azrael had asked when she had tried to explain it to him.

  “It was just a blast. There was fire, and I just don’t know!” she had exclaimed, unable to find the right words to explain what she had seen.

  “I’ve never seen any angel blow up,” Azrael had explained. “Or catch fire or anything like what you’re explaining.”

  Lilliah had frowned. It had definitely happened; she knew what she had seen. “I did it,” she had told him seriously.

  “I’m not saying you didn’t, angel. I just have no idea what it is.”

  So she had taken it into her own hands to try and recreate it herself.

  “What are you doing?” She turned to see Nathan, the guy who had been in her room when she had woken up, standing in the doorway, smirking at her.

  “Nothing,” she claimed, putting the vase back on the counter. She looked over at him, noticing his workout gear. “You’ve been working out?” she asked, trying to make conversation. “I didn’t know there was a gym here.”

  “Yeah.” He gave her a very boyish grin, running a hand over his messy, light-brown hair. “The gym is one of the good things about this place. So what were you doing?” he asked, looking at the cushion on the floor where she had been sitting.

  “Well, I was trying to see if I have my powers,” she told him, crossing her arms. “I don’t think the spell worked.”

  “Right.” He nodded, looking a little confused. “I don't think the library is the best place to be trying out new magic.”

  “Well, it doesn’t matter now anyway,” she told him, picking up the cushion. “As I said, it didn’t work.”

  “Magic is mostly connected to your emotions.” She watched as he walked up to the pile of books she had got out. “I guess it’s the same for angels too.”

  “Maybe.” She nodded, thinking it over. She’d been in danger when she’d used her powers. She had been scared and angry. Maybe that was the key. “Are you a warlock?” She just realised she didn’t know anything about him.

  “I'm learning how to be one, yeah.”

  “Learning?” She laughed. “Is there a warlock school you have to go to or something?”

  “No.” He laughed back at her. “But when you join The Cure, there are a few years when you have to learn. It’s not school or anything, but it makes you a better warlock.”

  “Sounds fun. I wish there was a fallen angel school.”

  “Don't worry. You'll get it.” She watched him stand. “I have to go. Gotta help with a big spell tonight,” he said, looking excited. He stopped halfway across the room and turned to face her. “Just don't stress about it. You'll get it. Try and relax and it’ll just come to you.”

  If only it were that easy, she thought, watching him leave.

  “I'm still here, little Lilliah.” The voice laughed at her in the darkness.

  “Lucifer.” She gasped, trying to back away, but she couldn’t. She was surrounded by darkness. “What–what is happening?”

  “Do you really think I'm that easy to get rid of?” It laughed mockingly. “You will never be rid of me,”

  “This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening,” she repeated over and over again, squeezing her eyes shut. “You’re in Hell. Not here.”

  “Lilliah. I'm everywhere.” Everything was still black when she opened her eyes. “But there's no need to worry, little Lilliah. We could help each other, you and I.”

  “No. I would never help you!” she spat back.

  “I wouldn’t be so sure of that. We're not so different. We were both left to wither and rot while they all thrived above us.” The voice was getting angrier and dripping with bitterness.

  “I wasn’t left.”

  “Where is your father now?” he cut in, almost spitting out the words. “Where is your beloved Michael? He's left you, Lilliah. Left you in a prison called Earth.”

  “I fell!” she shot back. “He didn’t leave me.”

  “Yes. He did. But it doesn’t have to be this way. We could take revenge, you and me.”

  “I don't want revenge.” In the distance of the blackness, she could just make out his eyes, the redness just coming into view.

  “We could take Heaven, make them beg for our forgiveness.”

  “I don't want that! I don’t want any of that!” she screamed as the red eyes got closer and closer. “Leave me alone!”

  “Lilliah. Lilliah. Wake up.” Her eyes shot open to see Azrael leaning over her.

  “Oh,” she sighed, closing her eyes to get her breathing under control.

  “You were having a bad dream,” he said, carefully helping her into a sitting position. “You were screaming.”

  Squinting, she looked around the room. They were in the library. She had fallen asleep while reading.

  “It was just a dream.” She smiled, shakily stretching.

  “Are you sure? You were really screaming.” He stared down at her, carefully moving a stray piece of hair out of her face.

  “Yeah,” she reassured him quickly. “Just a dream.”

  He nodded once before going back to his seat to read. The book she had been reading was still open on the floor next to her. She flicked through the pages, trying to forget the terrifying dream she had just experienced.

  “I don't think I could read another thing. I'm not learning anything new.” Shutting her book, she leant on her elbows, her eyes drifting over to Azrael as he sat opposite her, his head bent over a book. God, he's amazing, she thought dreamily, shamelessly letting her eyes travel over his broad shoulders.

  “Why are you staring?” he asked with a smirk, looking up, his blue eyes shining.

  “I like looking at you.” She smiled goofily, only realising how strange it sounded once she had said it. “Not in like a freaky way, but . . .” She smiled, her cheeks warming. “I guess there’s no other way to say that with
out it sounding creepy.”

  “Well,” he replied, smiling back and liking her discomfort, “I like looking at you too.”

  Lilliah liked him like this, when he wasn’t all serious. She got up from her chair and walked up to him. He sat back in his seat.

  “Good.” She sat on his lap, snaking her arms around his neck. “Because I'm not going anywhere.”

  “For a moment there, I thought I had lost you.” Azrael's face grew serious. “I will never put you in that amount of danger again.”

  “You didn't put me in danger.” Lilliah leant forward, pressing her lips to his. “It was my choice.”

  Azrael grabbed her head, slamming his lips back against hers and deepening the kiss. Lilliah became lost in his touches and kisses. The taste of him was so rich and intoxicating that she wanted more of him; she wanted to be closer to him. She wanted more of him, more than just his kisses. She moved on his lap, letting her intentions be known.

  Moaning deeply, Azrael’s other hand travelled down her body. “Lilliah,” he moaned, finally breaking away.

  “What?” she asked breathlessly.

  “I could never get enough.” His fingers traced her lips absent-mindedly, sending tingles all the way down her spine. “How could I have lived without you for so long, but now the mere thought of being without you for a day sends me crazy?” he continued, his fingertips still on her lips and his other hand still gripping her tightly. She loved it when he was this close. “How is that possible?”

  “I don't know, but I feel it too,” she replied, reaching up and running her hand through his silky, black hair. “I don’t want to be needy, but I hate being away from you. When Benedict was talking about taking me to New York, I really didn’t want to go without you,” she stressed.

  “I wouldn’t have let you. Where you go, I go.” He smiled.

  “I want more,” she broached the subject, her cheeks burning. “I want more of you. I need more of you.”

  “You have all of me already.” Azrael smirked down at her, but he knew what she was talking about.

  “That’s not what I mean.”

  Roughly, he grabbed her and lifted her off the chair in one quick swoop, making her squeal. Lilliah locked her hands around his neck and locked her legs around his waist, holding on tightly, although she knew Azrael wouldn’t drop her. She could feel his hands tighten around her, holding her close and safe.

  “Where are we going?” Lilliah asked, still facing Azrael and looking directly into his eyes. Was this it? Was he taking her to his bedroom? Excitement and anticipation bubbled in her stomach.

  “Don’t you trust me?” he teased, not looking ahead but straight back at her.

  Lilliah didn’t say anything back. She just smirked and placed her head on his shoulder. “Of course I do,” she replied.

  They hadn’t been at The Cure for long and the building still seemed like a giant maze to her. She couldn’t work out where Azrael was taking her.

  Finally, he stopped, letting her slowly slide down his body, and turned her to face the large wooden door.

  “What's this?” she asked with a frown, moving to push it open. It definitely wasn't his bedroom.

  “Hold on there.” Azrael laughed, stopping her and covering her eyes with his hands. “I want this to be perfect.”

  She let him lead her into the room. The smell hit her first. It smelt vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t put her finger on what it was.

  “Okay. Now.”

  She blinked as he took his hands away. The room was full of beautiful, lush, white roses.

  “Wow.” She gasped, walking farther in, delicately running her hands over the petals. It was just like the rose garden she’d had in Heaven. But how could he have known about that?

  “How?”

  He smiled knowingly, walking up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. “We never met while we were in Heaven,” he confirmed. “But I did hear things. I remembered that you loved your white roses.”

  “I saw them,” she told him, still looking down at the flawless petals on each rose. “When I was under the spell, I saw the white rose garden. It was just like this.”

  “I heard that you’d spent most of your time there.” She could hear the smile in his voice.

  “How did you do this?” They weren’t even in his house, but somehow he had managed to transform an entire room.

  “I have my ways.”

  “Thank you. This is really beautiful.” She threw herself into his arms. “It’s all amazing,” she spoke against his lips.

  “We’re having dinner here.” She let him lead her to a small rug where a basket was already waiting.

  “Did you make this?” she asked, astonished when he pulled out two plates and two champagne glasses.

  “Yes. I told you I’d cook for you, and now I have.” He laughed, pulling out a container.

  “I didn’t think you actually would.” She giggled, opening one of the lids. “What's in here?” She leant in, trying to get a sniff.

  “Pasta is in this one,” he said, holding up a bigger container. “And the sauce is in there. The chef here wasn’t too pleased when I burst into his kitchen, but he got over it.”

  “It smells so good.” She watched as he laid it all out for her. “I like this. It reminds me of our first date.”

  “That was the whole point,” he replied, smirking while popping the champagne and pouring her a glass. “Let’s toast.”

  “Okay. To what?” She smiled, holding up her glass to meet his.

  “To your being here. Healthy and completely fine.”

  After they ate they lay next to each other, telling stories about their lives.

  “You know what I realised when I was under the spell?” she asked, resting her head on his chest. “All my lives were miserable. I only saw the end, but they all seemed horrible. Did you see all my lives?”

  “I think I missed two, maybe three,” he told her, running a hand over her long hair. “But given the fact you had so many, I don't think that's so bad.”

  “No. You did well,” she joked, lifting her head so he could see her face. “I think this is the only life where I’ve been happy.” She thought for a moment as his fingers played with her hair. “Even in Heaven I wasn’t happy. I was locked away. Maybe that’s why this time is different. Because this time I’m happy.”

  Azrael looked up at her. “You could be right. I never thought about it that way before.”

  She laid her head back on his chest and they both fell deep into thought. She wasn’t sure how long they lay there, content in their silence.

  “Azrael!” The door flew open as Benedict stormed in.

  “What?” Azrael sat up, still keeping an arm around Lilliah.

  “We've had a call. They said they know where Lilliah's mother is. She’s close.”

  They both shot up from the floor, anxious for more information.

  “What do you know? Who's this informant?” Azrael demanded as they left the room, closing the doors behind them so no one else could get into their rose room.

  “It was a call I received,” Benedict quickly explained as they all walked down the hall. “The voice was blurred, but I got an address. They said she's there. I did a locator spell just to make sure. It confirms it.”

  “Right, sounds legitimate,” Azrael said, already in work mode, ready for anything, ready to fight.

  “How would they know to call you?” Lilliah asked. It was just one of the questions going through her head.

  “Word is out that we're looking,” Benedict explained, looking at her. “People always want to get on Azrael’s good side.”

  “What if it's a trap?” she asked, almost jogging to keep up.

  “Then I will kill them all,” Azrael said simply.

  They walked into the sitting room, where Sebastian and Rebecca were already waiting.

  “Right. Benedict, you get any weapons you need. Be back here in three minutes.”

  Benedict nodded
and almost ran out of the room.

  “Lilliah.”

  She turned to look at him, already knowing what he was going to say. “I'll wait here,” she promised. “Just bring my mum back.”

  He smiled down at her, looking grateful.

  “Wait, what?” Sebastian stepped forward. “I'm coming. I need to be there . . .”

  “Sebastian.” She cut in before he could say anything else. “We'll both stay here.”

  He stared at her for a long moment.

  “They will bring her back.”

  “This is ridiculous,” he spat, storming out.

  Rebecca smiled. “I'll go and see if he's okay,” she said and quickly follow him out of the room.

  “He'll be fine once she's home.” Lilliah turned to Azrael.

  “You’re taking this very well. Don't you want to come?”

  She thought for a moment before answering. “I do. But this is important. I want to be as strong as you so I can help when I can.” She shrugged. “But right now, I'm not. None of us are. And I want my mum back. If that means you going alone, okay.”

  “I promise if she's there, I'll bring her back.”

  “I'm ready,” Benedict said from the doorway.

  “Try and get some sleep. I'll be back before you know it.” He pressed a quick kiss on the top of her head, and she watched them both leave.

  Chapter 24

  “Lilliah.” The voice spoke to her in her dream. “It's time to wake up.” The dream was just like the others, where she was in darkness.

  “Wake up!”

  She shot up from her bed, breathing heavily in the darkness.

  “It's a dream,” she said to herself, falling back on the pillows, trying to steady her wildly beating heart. She sat up on her elbows, trying to look at the clock on the nightstand. One in the morning and Azrael still wasn’t back. “I hope he's okay.”

  “Oh, I bet he'll be fine. He is Azrael, after all.”

  Lilliah shot out of bed when she heard the voice, not needing to see her to know who it was.