Tell Me No Lies

by Nikki- Michelle

  Later on that night, after AJ had been put to bed and after I had cleaned the kitchen, then showered, I walked back downstairs to my home office to work. Shelley and I had been trying to acquire a new account. It was my job to put together the proposal, and I was behind on that task. I was deep into number crunching when Jamie called me from upstairs. I was tired, anyway, and my eyes had started to water. I saved my progress, then headed upstairs.

  Jamie sat at the foot of our bed. In his hands he held numerous pill bottles.

  “What’s that, Jamie?” I asked him.

  I didn’t say anything when he cut his eyes at me, then looked back down at the pill bottles in his hands. It wasn’t long before he opened up and told me he had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder after the incident. He also had anxiety attacks because of the post-traumatic stress and had been diagnosed with PTSD. He said many nights he’d wake up screaming and hollering, reliving the trauma. Even after his uncle had been arrested and sent to prison, he said, he relived that day. My legs could no longer hold me up, so I sat on the bed next to him.

  “Some days I take pills, and some days I don’t,” he said as he looked over at me.

  “Why not?”

  He shrugged. “Some days I feel like I don’t need them. Other days I feel like I’m going to break if I don’t have them.”

  I sat there and wondered just how he’d been able to hide this from me for so long, but then I remembered that he’d said he’d never told another woman about it. That meant he had a lot of practice hiding it for many years. These pills also explained the dazed and high look I’d seen in his eyes.

  “Are you supposed to take these every day?” I asked, picking up a pill bottle that read XANAX, then another that read ABILIFY.

  “Not all of them. Some, yeah.”

  “Is that the reason for the mood swings?” I asked quietly.

  He only nodded. He looked stressed, tired. His shoulders sagged, his eyes were red, and he just looked like he needed to rest. Quite frankly, I was feeling the same. Mentally and physically, I was tired. Between dealing with Jamie and Aric, my mind couldn’t take any more that night. I stood and took the rest of the pill bottles from his hands. I hadn’t even looked to see what the other ones were. I walked into the bathroom and placed them all on the counter, then walked back over to him.

  “Come on. Let’s go to bed. We can talk about this more in the morning,” I told him.

  “Okay.” He stood and took my hand before we walked over to his side of the bed.

  He moved the red and gold comforter back and allowed me to slide into bed first, and then he came in behind me. We didn’t do our normal touching, feeling, and kissing. For the first time in our relationship, Jamie didn’t hold me. He turned his back to me. I didn’t know if he did it intentionally, if he just needed space, so I didn’t touch him.

  As I lay there, so many things ran through my mind. I didn’t know what Jamie’s revelation would mean for us. I worried about how what he’d told me would affect our relationship. I worried about Jamie. It hurt to know that he’d gone through such a traumatic thing. Why wasn’t anyone there to protect him? It was then that I got why he was so overprotective of AJ and Ashton. As much as I tried to get to sleep, I couldn’t.

  Chyanne

  The next few weeks came and went. Things had been touch and go with Jamie and me. We’d decided not to go back to his hometown, after all. Aric hadn’t said much to me after he made it known that he was pissed to all hell that I’d stood him up. He’d said I made him look like a fool, because he had stood outside and waited for me. I couldn’t risk having a fight about Aric with Jamie, especially not after all he had revealed to me. My relationship was too important to me. I’d told him as much.

  Over the past few days I’d been online, reading up on PTSD and bipolar disorder. I knew the terms, had heard of them, but I didn’t know how to deal with it right in my face. I’d taken the time to learn about Jamie’s medicines too. There were so many, but he’d shown me the ones that were essential to him. Those were the ones I tried to make sure he took on time every day. After he’d told me about the medications he had to take, he’d gone on to reveal that he saw a therapist, one that he hadn’t been to see in a while. His mood swings were still iffy. He refused to take any more calls from his grandmother, so I’d been talking to her. She was a sweet lady and was also very worried about Jamie.

  Ashton had come over to stay with us the weekend before. At twelve years old, Ashton was almost as tall as me. His thick dark brown locks hung to the middle of his back. He’d been growing them since he was about two years old. He had the whole skateboarder, hip young black teen thing going with the way he dressed. Although he went to a private school that required uniforms, he still found a way to set the trends. You could see his mixed heritage when you looked at his light-skinned complexion, but he looked identical to Jamie. He couldn’t be denied. Jamie had been lucid enough to take us all out on the town. That had been a good day. We had all enjoyed ourselves at the children’s museum, especially AJ. Ashton had wanted to see the Hobbit movie in 3-D, so we took him to the theater in Atlantic Station so he could meet a few of his friends there.

  I had to wonder if Jamie had ever told Ashton what had happened to him. Although he was great with both Ashton and AJ, there were times when I questioned how and if what had happened to him would affect them. With all of me, I’d been trying to be there for Jamie, but I swore at times I just didn’t know how to be. Kay had suggested that I get out of the house so I could breathe for myself. I’d called her, crying, because the stress and the weight of the situation were getting to me. She understood and was also helping me with information, since psychiatry was along the lines of what she’d studied. April was still in my house, and I had to wonder when she would be moving on. My Realtor had mentioned that the couple that had expressed interest in the house was ready to discuss prices, so she would have to be gone soon. Yes, she’d apologized, but a part of me still didn’t trust her.

  It was a Friday. AJ was with Aric, and Jamie was doing the inventory at one of his bookstores. So I was going to take Kay’s advice and just get out to breathe. For some reason I’d been feeling sluggish, and my migraines made me not want to even leave the house, but when Gabe called and invited me to lunch, no way was I turning him down. Gabe and I had always been cool. It had been a while since I had seen him or had talked to him, so it was a welcomed distraction. It was March, and the cold weather had finally decided to make another appearance, but I still decided against wearing jeans. I didn’t like how they’d been fitting lately. I guess my weight had decided to come back. The stress of everything had me eating more than normal. I pulled on some black tights, a purple baby doll shirt, and black thigh-high, flat boots. I let my hair fall whichever way the wind blew it and met Gabe at R. Thomas.

  R. Thomas Deluxe Grill was a small family-owned and family-operated restaurant located on Peachtree Street in the Brookwood neighborhood of Atlanta. The place reminded me of a gypsy, Hawaiian-type establishment. It was open twenty-four hours and was surrounded by lush gardens with tropical birds. It was also a healthy fast-food place. I parked my car, then looked at my watch as I got out. It was four in the afternoon, so the restaurant would more than likely be empty, or only a few other patrons would be there. R. Thomas didn’t usually get crowded until around six in the evening.

  As I walked in, I spotted Gabe sitting in a corner of the covered patio dining area. No matter how many times a woman could lay eyes on Gabe, it would never be enough. He was wearing a brown leather jacket and had a long black scarf hanging around his broad shoulders. His phone was to his ear, and there was a slight frown on his face as his deep baritone resonated around the small area. It was clear he was talking to a female.

  “I told you I would call you later. Why do you always have to act like an ass when you don’t get what you want, Jennifer?” I heard him ask.

  For some reason, knowing he was talking to another female annoyed me
. His locks were pulled back, showing his chiseled facial features. As always, his goatee was perfectly aligned on his chin, adding to his sexy Southern appeal.

  He looked up and saw me. That relaxed smile he’d always given me showed on his face. Straight white teeth shone at me as he stood. He ended his phone call, then held his long, muscled arms out for a hug. The hug was a warm, friendly one, but it was tainted with thoughts of what if.

  “How are you, Chyanne?” he asked after we’d pulled away from the hug.

  “I’m okay,” I replied with a smile.

  He held my chair out for me, then took my coat before helping me to sit. Gabe could spoil a woman with all that Southern gentleman stuff he was known for. I couldn’t help that my eyes took in the masculine build of him when he pulled his jacket off. Gabe was country thick with muscle. Even though he worked out regularly, it was still apparent that he came from good genes. When he adjusted his pants before sitting, I hid a slight smirk because of the memories that flashed before my eyes. Once we were seated and had ordered two pounds of chargrilled wings with extra sauce, Gabe looked across at me and smiled.

  I couldn’t help but blush. “Stop smiling at me like that, Gabe. You always do this to me.”

  He chuckled, and the bass of it tickled my soul. “Do what? I’m only smiling.”

  I ran my tongue over my teeth, then grinned. “Never mind. How have you been?” I asked, to change the subject.

  “I’ve been okay. Just the occasional bumps and bruises of life. You?”

  “I could say the same.”

  “How are AJ and Jamie?”

  “They’re doing okay too. Jamie is at one of his stores today, and AJ is with Aric.”

  He sipped a bit of his water before responding. As he was getting ready to say something, his phone rang. He held a finger to his lips, telling me to stay quiet. It was an indication that Aric was on the other end of the line. Yes, Gabe and I kept our friendship hidden from Aric. Why? Because Aric had made it clear that Gabe and I seemed to be a little too close for his liking. I’d learned not to mess with Aric like that. When he threatened to mess me up if I did something, he kept his word. I was no fool, and whether I was with Jamie or not, I still didn’t play with Aric like that. I didn’t say anything as he talked to Aric.

  The waiter walked back over with the glass of Sprite I’d ordered. I looked around and noticed that it was only us in the room. There was a slight chill, but not enough to make me put my coat back on. I listened as Gabe told Aric he was out to lunch with a friend and would stop by once he was done to discuss a business proposition with him.

  I texted Jamie to let him know where I was. Jamie had no issue with my and Gabe’s friendship. He wasn’t possessive like that. As long as I was honest with him, then he was perfectly okay with it. Miguel’s “Quickie” came crooning through the small speakers next to us. Both Gabe and I looked at one another at the same time. When a slight smirk adorned his cocoa burnished face, a familiar stirring echoed in the pit of my stomach, then traveled down to my vagina. That same familiar feeling swelled my private lips and made me wiggle around in my chair, then cross my thick thighs. As we watched each other, our eyes swam with the memories of two nights of stolen quickies, which sometimes were not so quick.

  Yes, Gabe and I had traveled down that road, a road that Jamie knew of, but not Aric. It was only a month after AJ was born, right around the time Aric had told me that he couldn’t be with me anymore. Jamie and I weren’t together yet. Gabe had stopped by to check on me and AJ. Only thing was, Aric had come to get AJ, so I was home alone. For the longest time I’d wondered what it was about Gabe that gave me that tingling sensation all over my body. There were no feelings of love, no adoration. What happened between us was pure adulterated lust, and it had been from the moment we laid eyes on one another.

  At first I wasn’t familiar with those kinds of feelings. I had no idea what it was to want someone so bad sexually that every time you were in the room with one another, electric sparks shocked your system . . . not until that first night Gabe fell between my thighs. I couldn’t even tell you what Gabe’s house had looked like, though. I didn’t get a chance to look around. Both nights he’d met me at the door, lifted me around his waist, and taken me right to his bedroom. I remembered the plush feel of the mattress sinking under our weight, the aromatic smell of him wafting through the room.

  But what I remembered most was the way he attacked my body. The raw, animalistic way he ripped my dress from my body had me on fire. Gabe was primal in his sexual prowess. His big hands had gripped my thighs and had held them apart asymmetrically as he devoured me orally. That was all before he’d even taken his clothes off. And, Lord help me, I didn’t want to remember what his thickness felt like when he penetrated me. Yes, he was well endowed, but there was no pain. None. It had felt like he was the missing piece to my puzzle. He’d fit so snugly and perfectly that my orgasm was almost instantaneous. The way he caught the shocked moan that escaped my lips with his kiss put me under a spell.

  The song playing had always reminded me of those two nights. After the second night, just before the sun kissed the sky and I was getting ready to leave, Gabe made me promise to leave him alone. His reason was that I was going to become a problem if we didn’t stop. He told me that my sex had the power to make a man lose his damn mind. I laughed. He must have known I wouldn’t hold up my end of the bargain, though, because he changed his phone number. The only time we’d seen each other since was in passing, like if he was at Aric’s or if I saw him somewhere while I was out. It was only recently that he’d given me his number again. The trial had been cruel to us all, and Gabe had wanted me to know that he was there for me no matter what. I’d appreciated it.

  “If Aric ever finds out that you and I are having lunch, that will be the end of our friendship. You know that, right?” he asked after placing his phone on the table.

  “Of our friendship?” I asked, pointing at myself.

  “No. I mean of my and Aric’s friendship.”

  I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “Aric has issues. He’s not with me anymore, so why should it matter?”

  “Rules of the game, baby. You’re his son’s mother, so you’re supposed to be off-limits.”

  “Whatever. The only man who should have a say-so in our friendship is Jamie, and he’s perfectly okay with it.”

  Gabe chuckled and leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table. “So he knows about us? That we had sex?”

  I nodded. “Yes, he does. I told him when we first got together.”

  “And he’s okay with us hanging out, knowing that?”

  “Yes, because I was honest with him about it.”

  “Would he be okay with it if he knew that right now I want to take you home with me?”

  I had to take a moment to see if he was serious. His eyes never left mine, and unlike other times, there was no slick smirk on his handsome face. I leaned forward and laid my head in my hands as I shook it. There was no denying when you were in lust. At least there wasn’t for me. When I was around Gabe, his mere presence affected me internally.

  “Oh, God, Gabe, please not right now,” I said, then looked up at him. “I have way too much going on for you to say that to me right now.”

  He gave a nonchalant shrug, then leaned back. “I was just asking, is all.”

  “Well, if that’s the case, then I’m sure he’d have a problem with it.”

  His sensuous, deep laughter floated around the room. We both looked up as the waiter walked back over with our wings, napkins, and two extra plates. Once we divvied up the wings, we discussed a few things as we ate. He told me about the issue with his mother and father. I’d found out through Aric that he and Stephanie had different mothers, so it was a surprise to me that Gabe’s father was still secretly seeing his mother. I didn’t know how to offer any words of encouragement about that, so all I did was listen. I asked a few questions from time to time and decided to open up to him a little bit too
. I mentioned that things had been shaky with Jamie and me.

  “Anything you want to talk about?” he asked after swallowing a few bites of his chicken.

  I shook my head. “Not really. I mean, I told him about the kiss.”

  He nodded and smiled. “Ahhh . . . so what did he say?”

  “He was pissed.”

  “As he should have been.”

  “I know, but there are so many other things going on, and that just adds to the stress of it all.”

  Gabe propped one arm on the table and the other on his thigh as he watched me. “Other things like what?”

  I hesitated for a moment. I wasn’t sure if I should tell him about the other things.

  “It’s a bit personal for Jamie, so I’m not sure if I should say,” I told him.

  “Understandable.”

  He gave a few words of encouragement, and we talked a little more. We got done eating, and then I had to leave. I wanted to get home around the same time as Jamie. He grabbed a fresh napkin and wiped sauce from the corners of my mouth for me, and I couldn’t help but give a girlish giggle.

  “Thank you, Gabe.”

  “No problem.”

  He paid for the lunch, and then walked me out. Idle chitchat kept us company as we strolled to my car. The street was packed, and I had to wonder if I would make it home in time. People were out walking their dogs and jogging. I hit the button to unlock my car before tossing my purse onto the backseat. Gabe had already opened my door for me. I smiled.

  “Thank you. It was good talking to you today,” I told him.

  “You too, Chy. You’re glowing, so I guess that love thing with Jamie is working for you, despite all the other setbacks,” he replied, complimenting me before he pulled me into a hug.