by Lynn, Davida
When I turned back to Eddie, I froze. He had dropped into the driver’s seat and fired up the engine. The thought that he would take off without me never crossed my mind. He had the money, sure, but it wasn't really about the money.
This wasn’t the “get together with an old friend for one last robbery” heist where one betrays the other. We lived together, we were going to find a place together, and we were going to have a child together. He didn’t know that, but we did love each other. I knew he wouldn’t take off, even though the passenger’s side door wasn’t hanging open waiting for me.
None of that worried me. What caused me to stop completely was the flashing blues and reds I saw reflecting in the billboard beyond the getaway car.
I sprinted, but before I got much closer, Eddie called to me, “Don’t, Faith.” He turned toward the lights. “They’re too close. If I get away, you’ll know where the money will be. If I don’t...”
He gave me that confident smile. I remember it because it was so completely out of place with the sirens and lights approaching.
“If I don’t, I guess you’ll know where to find me.”
Then the smile was gone. There was just the acrid smell of tire smoke and the battle between the Chevy’s engine and the sirens.
My heart must have been shuffling around with the stolen money, because I thought I would die right there. I almost dropped to my knees as he drove away. Later on, I’d understand with complete certainty why he did it. At that moment, though, I thought my world was over.
It was a tragedy watching the Chevy Cavalier speed away. Eddie pulled onto the road the cops were coming down. Again, later on, I’d understand what he was doing, but at that moment, I was without a sane thought in my head. My man was driving away, leaving me alone, abandoning me.
It was the closeness of the siren’s wail that snapped me out of it. It wasn’t on me yet, but I knew I had to move.
I turned and ran across the street into an alley behind a church. Once I was behind the building, I ripped the wig (and some of my own hair) off, tossing it into a dumpster. I fought with the rubber cement, but managed to peel off the scar on my cheek.
My change of clothes was in the backseat of the car which had just vanished, and I knew that the place would be teeming with police any moment. I pulled the suit jacket off, throwing it in the dumpster with the rest of the disguise.
Peeking out past the dumpster, I saw some of the cops follow Eddie God knows where, and some hung a right toward the bank. I pulled out of view as they passed. I had a good two blocks’ clearance, but I needed more. Way more.
Even in heels, I began to run through the alley. Two weeks hadn’t given me much of a grasp of the town’s geography, but I knew how to get back to Esther and Matt’s from the bank. It was a five-mile hike.
At the end of the alley, I saw the church’s parking lot. A donation shack sat near the road, and I headed toward it. I got there just in time to duck behind it as two more police cars rolled past, sirens and lights at full blast.
Once they turned toward the bank, I pushed open the swinging doors, hoping to find something. I was in luck. The little shed was half full. A bag of clothes sat near the top of the discarded mountain of minutia.
I leaned in, my feet leaving the ground. Pulling a sweater off of the top of the bag, I dug around inside. It was all men’s clothes, but I found a few things that would have to do. Behind the donation shed, I stripped off the professional blouse and skirt, tossing them back inside. An even trade, I thought, pulling the athletic shorts up my legs.
The t-shirt extolled the virtues of Lynyrd Skynyrd, but at least it was a size small so I didn’t swim in it. I leaned in once more, hoping and praying to find some shoes, but I didn’t spot any.
At the last second, I used an old copy of Atlas Shrugged to knock a few bags out of the way. I spotted my prize, but it was a far reach to grab them. I was more inside than out, and had to push off the floor to get my top half vertical again, but I managed.
I dropped the flip flops to the ground and kicked off my heels. They went into the donation bin along with the rest of the professional attire. I probably looked like a slob, but the cops wouldn’t be looking for a long-haired brunette in workout clothes. They’d be looking for a professional blonde with a bob and a small scar on her cheek.
I wished for a restroom so I could wipe the makeup off my face, but time was fighting against me. The heat of the sun and the walk would take care of my makeup soon enough, though. I began to beat the streets back toward Esther’s house and away from the sirens and ruckus at the bank.
As it turned out, I didn’t have to wait for the heat of California to sweat my makeup off. The tears were doing a fine job all on their own.
As I slowly counted down the five miles, I was bringing the t-shirt up to my eyes over and over again. I looked more like I’d been repainting a room rather than working out. Mascara was surely running down my cheeks, but I didn’t care.
Watching Eddie peel away was the most painful thing I’d ever seen. I knew why he did it, but my brain wasn't in any mood to hear rational thoughts. I pictured him speeding away from the police North toward Lake Isabella. The roads wound through the mountains, so I was sure he could lose them before getting back to the Harley. From there, I knew he’d be all right.
I guessed that with the police looking for him, I wouldn’t see or hear from Eddie for a few days. That thought only made the tears stream down my face harder. I hadn't been away from him since that fateful Wednesday almost two months back, and now I was going to be left alone, confused, and trying to control my imagination until he showed up again.
As I got closer to Esther’s house, two things came to me: my feet were going to need one very long soak, and I had to come up with lies for Esther and Matt before I walked through the door. With two miles to go, I fought the heat and my exhaustion to come up with a reasonable explanation.
One mile more down the main stretch through Bakersfield, and I was beginning to cramp up. It wasn't the ordinary dehydration hiking cramp. It felt somehow different. My hands instinctively went to my midsection. I sat down on the curb as my heart hammered in my chest.
Panic set in, and I worried about the child. It was so early in the pregnancy, it couldn’t be related to that, right? What did I know? I hadn’t even been to the OBGYN yet. My mind was a puzzle, and most of the pieces were upside down. I tried to tell myself it was heatstroke, but I couldn’t believe the lie.
After a few minutes, the pain began to fade. As I stood up, a siren made me spin around. I thought about how tricky it would be to run in flip flops, but just as I was about to, an ambulance came into view and I relaxed.
One more mile to go. That only left me with what to tell my sister. I hadn’t gotten any closer to solving that crisis.
I’d never heard my sister swear. I should have been used to hearing the harsh words; Eddie had a penchant for them. Hearing them from my sister was completely different, though.
“Get the fuck in here,” she said, her eyes shifting back and forth. She grabbed me by the neck of the t-shirt, pulling me through the front door.
It slammed in my face, and she froze me in place with her stare. Her voice was a sharp whisper, cutting into me with every syllable. “Just what is going through your goddamn brain?” I looked around in a panic.
“Matt’s not here, so he won’t chastise me for my blasphemy. Faith, I know it was you and Eddie. I don’t know what you were thinking, but I am heartbroken.”
“So am I,” I said, pushing her out of my way. I was sore, my midsection still ached, and my heart really was broken. I walked to my and Eddie’s bedroom, collapsing on the bed.
I didn’t look back, but I knew Esther was standing in the doorway. I had no clue what she must have thought of me, but it didn't concern me. Eddie concerned me. My man was gone, and I had no idea when I’d see him again.
“It’s all over the damn news. As soon as they described the suspects, I knew it was
you two.” She spoke like a parent, not a sibling.
My heart surged. Had they identified us? Had the police been to Esther’s home already?
I didn’t look back. I couldn’t face my sister. “How did you know?”
“I’m not an idiot. At first I wondered how you’d paid your way out here, then when I met him, it all made sense.” She spat that word out, not willing to say Eddie’s name. “The news said a man and woman robbed a bank, and police chased a vehicle eight miles out of Bakersfield. Something happened with the car, and they finally stopped it. That’s when they realized there was only one person in the car. An hour later, you show up looking like a YMCA vagrant.
“He’s going to jail, Faith. Who knows how long? You’ll be lucky if he doesn’t rat you out and take you with him.” Esther cut through me, easily finding every weakness I had and driving her point home.
Tears stained the sheets beneath me. “It was all my idea. It was all my idea from the very start. When I first met Eddie, I begged him for danger. All he did was deliver.” My words stuck in my throat. “I guess things got out of control...”
I didn't guess—I knew. Once Eddie had given me a taste, I was hooked. He might have been used to the life, and that was what made it so easy for him to take off and leave me, but I wasn’t used to it. The rush was still incredible to me. The highs were massive, but the lows were tragic. I hadn’t even gotten to the pain I felt on the walk home.
Esther did what Eddie had done earlier: she took control. “He’s not welcome here, do you understand me? I don’t want to see him here ever again!”
As she began to shout at me, I rolled over, my hands at my belly; at our future. “But we’re pregnant, Esther!”
“No. You’re pregnant. He doesn’t even know it, does he? You don't even know if you’re healthy.” She turned to walk away. “You don’t speak to him. You don’t see him.”
That was going to be easier than she thought.
I was glued to the TV screen that night. It was all over the news. Small towns ate up stuff like this, it seemed. I heard the anchor tell me the same information again and again.
“The woman involved has yet to be identified, but Police Chief Warren Elmore states that they have leads. Edward Allan Rivers’ bail was set at one hundred thousand dollars. He is currently facing charges of armed robbery, several counts of reckless driving, and several counts of assault with a deadly weapon. More details at nine.”
I was beyond fried. The walk back to Esther’s had been exhausting, and I was a mental wreck. Eddie had been caught, which meant I was all alone. I didn’t know the next time I’d be able to see him. Maybe once he was sentenced?
No, they’re looking for the woman. It was a painful thought. I began to think I wouldn’t be able to see him until he got out of prison.
I was alone in a pitch black nightmare. Eddie was the one person who could keep me stable. It turned out there was another person who could do that for me, although she was less gentle about it.
When the police came, I shouldn't have been surprised. I wasn’t, per se, but I was still terrified.
Two detectives introduced themselves and asked to come in. Of course, Esther let them.
They asked me so many questions that I could barely keep my head on straight. If it hadn’t been for Esther’s coaching in the days before they came, I would have broken under the pressure immediately.
Yes, I was Eddie’s girl. No, I didn’t rob the place with him. He was probably stepping out on me. I’d never get involved in anything dangerous in my state. Yes, he was the father. No, he didn’t know.
It was the last question that dried my throat like the Nevada desert.
“And where were you November third, Miss Vincini?” The detective didn't look up from his notebook, but the other one was watching me with careful conviction.
I might have waited too long to answer. “Here. I was here with my sister. Eddie had disappeared the night before.”
After closing his notebook, the detective who’d asked me the question gave me a long stare. “Miss Vincini, you are aware that lying or withholding evidence relating to this crime is a felony?”
My tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth. I couldn’t pull it free to say a word. I nodded, praying it would be enough to satisfy the police. Part of me wanted to confess so they would take me in, but I knew I’d be nowhere near Eddie, and they’d take my baby away as soon as I gave birth. I’d never see my child.
The detectives thanked me and asked to speak with my sister. I nodded. Once they sat down with Esther in the office room, I drained two glasses of water, forcing my hand to stay steady as I did.
They talked to her for only a few minutes before leaving. I was still standing in the kitchen, staring into the nothingness when Esther came in.
“Well, now I’m in this with the two of you. I kept up your fucking lies. I kept you safe, Faith.”
Despite the water, my mouth was still bone dry. “Esther, I can’t thank you enough. I’ll repay you, I swear I will.”
She stood over me, her eyes filled with fury. “You can’t repay this. This is way beyond something you can make up to me. Here’s what is going to happen. And I mean going to happen.
“You are going to stay with me and Matt and me until you have the child. When you do, you will be legally singing the rights of that child over to us.”
I opened my mouth to protest, my heart beginning to break again. Esther stopped me. “I am thinking about what is best for that child. We aren’t taking him or her away from you, but it would be best for them to be raised under a stable roof by two competent parents.”
Esther’s words cut me deeply. The pregnancy had only been a recent discovery, but I fell more and more in love with the idea of being a mother each day. I knew in my heart that Eddie would have been a good father, even with his wild nature. I had already imagined us bringing up a tough tomboy or a rough little man ready to walk in his daddy’s footsteps.
Esther was absolutely right, though. It would never happen that way. I agreed to her demands.
I kept up with the news like it was my new religion. For nearly a month, there was no news about Eddie, but he finally went to trial and was found very guilty on most counts. The state-appointed lawyer didn’t try hard, not that there was much of a case. From what I read, the only bargaining chip Eddie was tempted with was giving up the name of the female accomplice. God love him, he never did.
He was sentenced to seven years in Ironwood State Prison. The people of Bakersfield were resoundingly against him. An outsider coming to California and trying to rob them was not well received. He would be up for parole in four. By the time he got out, our son (I’d found out) would be walking, saying his first words, and visiting with Mommy when she wasn’t at work. The only bright side was that he would be too young to ask questions about why he never saw his daddy.
My second trimester was a dark time. I looked for jobs to appease Esther and Matt, but I never found any. As my son grew inside me, so did the crippling depression. Eddie and I had been foolish. I realized that, but I still thought it was a tragedy that he and I were going to be apart for so long. I thought of writing him a postcard, maybe even anonymously, just to tell him about our boy. Once, the postcard even sat before me on the desk. The words just never came. There was far too much to fit on one side of a three-by-five with a picture of Buck Owens and Merle Haggard on the front.
I should have kept busy, but I didn’t. All day long, my mind was occupied with the chain of events that led up to Bakersfield. What did we do wrong? Should we have parked the getaway car closer? Should we have risked bringing someone else in to be the driver? I was into my third trimester before the questions faded away.
