Pedal to the Metal

by Stephanie Nichole

  “Farrah, you can’t be serious. You’re not seriously going to wear that are you?” I ask sounding shocked.

  “Of course, I am. She’s insisting I come but she forgot I don’t play by their rules anymore. I’m not going in there playing the perfect daughter tonight and neither should you," she says before she disappears into the bathroom. I get up from the bed and walk out to the living room. I know she’s right I shouldn’t conform to what they want tonight but I’m just not as strong as Farrah.

  ****

  A few hours later we pull up to the house we grew up in, parking Farrah’s Range Rover in the driveway. As we all slowly get out I take the time to notice that Connor isn’t in his normal muscle or t-shirt instead he has on a pair of khaki dress slacks, dress shoes and a black button up shirt. He cleans up really nice and for a moment I let myself imagine what Jagger would look like dressed up like that. Farrah walks around from the driver’s side. She looks great, but my parents are going to die of embarrassment. Her outfit is definitely not my mother’s idea of appropriate.

  As we make our way to the door Connor tells me I look nice. I look down out my white and gold checkerboard dress which hits at my mid-thigh and the sleeves fall right under my elbows. I added a pair of three-inch heels that have a white strap over my toes and a gold strap around the ankle. My hair is curled but I pulled half of it back, Farrah’s on the other hand I curled and teased as much as it could be.

  We haven’t even made it to the door and I already feel the anxiety of the night setting in, I don’t have a good feeling about this. We step into the house and follow the sound of voices to the formal dining room. As soon as we enter there is a hushed silence that falls over the room and I see my mother’s eyes bug out when she takes in Farrah’s outfit. One of the servers comes up with a tray of champagne which Connor and I both wave away but Farrah grabs a flute and throws her head back to drown it in one swallow like it’s a shot.

  My mother is now standing in front of us. “You look lovely Londynn, she says while kissing me on each cheek. “Farrah," she whispers sourly before kissing both of her cheeks as well. She extends her hand out to Connor and tells him how nice it is to meet him and how much she’s heard about him. She’s playing the act of perfect mother and wife to the hilt tonight. I’m sure my mother has never even heard Connor’s name before tonight because that would require her to talk to Farrah, which she doesn’t.

  As we all take our seats to eat my mother insists Ryce sit beside me. I mentally cringe but plaster my fake smile on my face. Ryce keeps placing his hand on my thigh and trying to move it up but I keep slapping it away under the table. By the time the main meal is served my nerves are frazzled, I’m irritated, and I feel like I’m about to lose it. I try to take deep breaths like I was taught but right now it’s no use.

  Mrs. Lawson starts speaking to me “Londynn, how was studying abroad over summer? I bet it was amazing.”

  “What?” I ask, unsure what she’s talking about.

  My father clears his throat and my mother chimes right in “Oh, Londynn loved it Joyce. I’m sure she hated to even come back home. Sadly, though it made her miss registration for the fall semester of college.”

  Mrs. Lawson waves her hand “Oh, there’s always next semester besides how much college could she need. She and Ryce will be married soon enough. What are you doing until next semester or the wedding, whichever comes first," she says laughing.

  I feel my lungs contracting and my throat closing up and I feel myself start to sweat. I can’t answer her I can barely talk. My mother takes over once again. “Oh! She’s volunteering down at the rehab facility on the beach called Spirit Rehab facility.”

  “Oh, that’s fantastic! Ryce you really have yourself a keeper here," Mrs. Lawson tells him.

  That’s my undoing, my mother starts talking again but I cut her off. “Just stop! Mrs. Lawson I wasn’t studying abroad and I’m not volunteering at Spirit Rehab facility. I was a patient there for three months. Oh! And Ryce and I aren’t together because he can’t keep his pants on around other girls. There I think that covers everything," I say then go back to trying to clear my throat. I thought if I was honest the anxiety would subside but instead my breathing is becoming more labored and difficult.

  Farrah’s eyes go wide, and she shouts, “Were there any nuts in the food?” I’ve been allergic to nuts all my life but surely my parents know this. They wouldn’t have served me food knowing I’m allergic to it and even if they didn’t know surely Ryce did and he would have warned me. I’m starting to get light headed and dizzy from lack of oxygen. My tongue feels triple it’s normal size. I hear one of the servers tell Farrah that the dressing had almonds in it. Farrah runs to my side and tells Connor to go grab my purse. My parents are complaining about me acting out for attention.

  Connor returns with my purse and Farrah grabs my emergency injection for an allergic reaction in case I ever eat the wrong thing, like tonight. She slams it into my upper thigh. Connor scoops me up in his arms and heads for the door but not before Farrah tells my parents off. “You seriously don’t even know your own daughter is allergic to nuts. She has been her entire life! Maybe you two need to lay off the bottles of pills and alcohol! And Ryce you call yourself a boyfriend! You dated my sister for how long? You know what’s sad, had I not come tonight, your pathetic asses would have let her die.”

  “Why would we know she was allergic?” I hear my father ask.

  “Because she’s your daughter. Vivienne knew," she says lastly before turning on her heels and rushing towards the door where Connor is waiting patiently still holding me in his arms. “We need to get to the ER now!” Farrah tells Connor.

  Chapter 11

  Jagger

  Even though there were races planned for tonight I knew I wouldn’t see Londynn. Connor had called to ask me what he should wear to some family dinner with Farrah and Londynn’s parents. I had never really seen Connor be into a girl enough to be willing to go to a family dinner, but he seemed happy, so I didn’t give him hell over it. After helping him I made my way to the shop until the races.

  Londynn had been on my mind a lot since the other night at the gym. I felt my guard coming down when I was around her and I was beginning to look forward to seeing her at the races. Tonight, would be a change for me but I’d go because if I didn’t Bowie and Ace would give me hell.

  The races were busy, but the usual hype and tension were missing. No Ryce meant that it would be a pretty calm night. My brothers and I beat all of Ryce’s douchebag friends. After the races I went with Bowie, Ace and Kynlee to JamesTown. Bowie was being unusually quiet, but I didn’t want to press the matter because he had a short fuse most days. Things with Ace and Kynlee seemed off as well. This whole night felt weird to me. I left JamesTown within an hour and went home. As I walked through the door I heard Axell and Sadie talking in the kitchen. Just before I rounded the corner I heard Sadie tell Axell “I’m really worried about Londynn. She seemed so shaken up this afternoon when I saw her. Being forced to have dinner with her parents and Ryce isn’t good for her.”

  Axell sighed “I know you worry about her because you care about her, but all of this is up to Londynn. You can’t fix her life for her, she has to stand up to them herself.”

  “I know” Sadie said sounding defeated.

  I had been having my suspicions that Sadie knew Londynn from more than just the races, I had even asked a couple of times, but Sadie had denied it. Sadie was friendly with everyone, but you could always tell when she really knew someone. Hearing her and my brother talk about Londynn just confirmed those suspicions. I walk into the living room and clear my throat. Sadie turned around with a wide eyed startled look and Axell looked like he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “So, how do you know Londynn?”

  Sadie looks back at Axell before he shrugs and tells her “He’s bound to find out.” He lays the dish towel on the counter before leaving us alone. Sadie puts the last plate in the cabinet then wal
ks over to me and holds out her hand. “Keys please?”

  I hand over my keys and follow her out the door to my car. She slides in the driver seat and I walk to the window “What are you doing Sadie?”

  “I’m answering you question, now get in.”

  I chuckle “How is you driving my car going to answer my question?”

  She shrugs “You’ll see. Now get in because I’ve been dying to drive this car since the first day you got back, and I will leave without you.”

  I jog around and slide into the passenger seat. It’s not that I’m worried about Sadie driving my car because Axell was the one that helped her learn to drive. Sadie can drive just as well as any of us James boys. No, I’m worried about what I might find out about Londynn. We drive in silence until Sadie pulls into a parking lot for a building called Spirit Rehab facility. “I don’t need rehab Sadie.”

  She gets out of the car and I follow. “I know that Jagger. This is where I work," she tells me as she motions to the large white building that looks more like an office building than a rehab. Although they must get a killer view because they are all by themselves at the end of a road right on the beach. “I’m a private nurse here. I’m a nurse to 4-6 patients a day. I deal with just those patients. Spirit thinks that it helps when the staff is familiar with the patients. If I only deal with a few patients, then I can learn them better. This is where I met Londynn almost four and a half months ago.”

  I knew Sadie was a nurse, but I didn’t understand what Londynn had been doing in a place like this. “So, was Londynn working here?” I ask her and the only response I get is a shake of her head for no. “Volunteering?” Again, nothing but a shake of her head. “Okay Sadie I’m going to need you to speak now.”

  Sadie turns to face me. “Londynn was a patient here. Actually, she was my patient here.”

  Londynn had been in rehab but what for. None of this made sense. Maybe she had just been like Farrah, a party girl that had gotten out of control. Then again, I wasn’t even sure what Spirit treated here. “What do you guys treat here?”

  Sadie shrugs “A little bit of everything. Drugs, alcohol, eating disorders mental disorders, anxiety, depression and suicidal.”

  Wow! That didn’t narrow my list down at all really. They literally did treat a little bit of everything. I needed more information than this. “Sadie, that’s not a lot of help, I’m going to need some more info here.”

  Sadie shakes her head no. “Jagger, this is my job and with that comes confidentiality but even if it didn’t I still wouldn’t tell you. That’s Londynn’s to story tell, not mine. She gets to decide who and when she tells it. But know this it wasn’t for anything really bad. However, she is vulnerable, and I just want you to be careful with her.”

  I couldn’t believe Sadie had driven me all the way across town to basically tell me nothing. I could tell Londynn was vulnerable it was obvious by the way she kept those walls up around her. No one keeps walls up that high unless they’re vulnerable. A thought occurred to me then “You think I’ll hurt her or be bad for her," I tell Sadie.

  “Actually, I think just the opposite. I think that someone like you could be great for Londynn.”

  “Someone like me or me?” I question Sadie.

  “You in specific but if not you then someone like you.”

  I shake my head and listen to the waves crashing on the shore for a bit before asking Sadie “Why?”

  “Because underneath that badass exterior you’re a good guy. You fight for the people you love, and you push them to be the best versions of themselves. You also don’t smother a girl. I think someone with your strength, intelligence and heart is exactly what Londynn needs.” Sadie turns around and heads back to the car. By the time I reach it she’s already behind the wheel with it running.

  When we get home, I tell Sadie thank you but I’m not sure for what since I didn’t really learn anything. I tell her good night then head to take a really long, really hot shower. I stand under the steady stream of water until it turns cold then climb into bed. A couple hours later I’m still awake with all the possible scenarios running through my head. I sigh and shut my eyes, trying to force myself to sleep.

  ****

  I felt like I had just fallen asleep when I heard my phone start singing “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns n’ Roses. I roll over and blindly feel around for my phone. Once I found it I saw Connor’s name on the screen, Connor had grown up with us and besides my brothers, he was the one person I was closest to, if he was calling at this time then he probably really needed something. Finally, I slide my finger across the screen and say “Hello.”

  “Hey Jagger man, I’m sorry to call at this time but I kind of need a huge favor," Connor says sounding apologetic already.

  “What’s up?”

  “I need a ride," he says simply.

  I chuckle “Why? Are you still at Farrah’s parents’ house?”

  I hear him let out a long breath “No, I’m at the hospital over by Santa Monica.”

  I sit straight up in my bed while trying to figure out why he would be at the hospital. If Ryce laid a hand on him, I’ll break his. “What are you doing there?”

  “Londynn apparently as a food allergy to nuts and the dressing that was served on the salad had almonds in it. After her outing all their dirty little secrets she got where she couldn’t breathe. We had to give her an emergency injection then bring her here but we all came in Farrah’s car. She offered for me to take it since I have to work in the morning, but I don’t want to leave the girls without a car.”

  I was already moving around my room slipping on clothes. “No, don’t leave them without a car. I’ll be there in a few," I say before I hang up. I grab my black zipper hoodie before heading out to my car. I wondered why no one had warned Londynn about the dressing. Traffic was light and even though the hospital by Santa Monica was a good way away I made it in record time. When I pulled up I saw Connor leaning against Farrah’s Range Rover. I park next to him and get out. “Hey man.”

  “Hey. I’m really sorry about having to call at this time but I can’t afford to miss work, you know?” Connor says. He runs a hand through his hair “I feel like a dick for leaving Farrah, you can tell she’s worried about Londynn, but she knows I just can’t afford to miss a day.”

  Connor had very little money to his name. He had a tiny apartment and his car. Whenever I won at the races I’d sneak his portion of the money back to him because I knew he couldn’t afford to lose it but he craved the adrenaline rush the races gave him. I clasp my hand on Connor’s shoulder “I’m sure Farrah understands but here," I say extending my car keys out to him. “Take my car, go home, get some sleep then go to work, when you get off come by the shop and pick me up. I’ll stay here with the girls and drive them home.”

  “Jagger, you have to work too," Connor says.

  I shrug “Well, I do own the place, plus I won tonight so I’m set. Don’t worry about me. When I get ready to go to work I’ll call one of my brothers.”

  “You sure?” he asks.

  “Of course. Now, what room are the girls in?” I ask him.

  “Room 244," he says then turns around to head for my car but stops and turns back to me just before he opens the door. “You know I use to think they had it all with all that money and big houses but it’s just a mirage. Their family life is horrible, I saw it firsthand tonight. Their parents didn’t even know Londynn was allergic to nuts. Not even Ryce knew. I guess just Farrah and some lady named Vivienne did. It was sad sight to witness. Our parents didn’t have money or big houses, but we knew they cared about us.” He turned around and got into my car and I watched as he drove away.

  While I made my way through the hospital towards room 244 I thought about what Connor had said. He was right growing up we all been slightly jealous of the life the rich kids got to live. It was one of the reasons why he had all started racing, to take their money but I knew damn good and well my parents knew what we were allergic to.
I knew they cared enough to make sure we were okay. Maybe in some ways we had more than Farrah and Londynn.

  Just before I reached the door I heard the girls talking. Londynn was apologizing to Farrah. Farrah told Londynn not worry about it. “I should have asked if anything had nuts," Londynn said quietly.

  “No! They should have known, last time I checked they were are parents even if they don’t act like it," Farrah said furiously.

  I heard Londynn sigh “I bet they’re so angry at me for telling everyone at the table the truth about Spirit. Mom’s going to kill me herself next time I see her.”

  “I was actually wondering about that. You’ve always been so determined to be the perfect daughter for them that I was a little shocked that you admitted the truth to all their friends. Don’t get me wrong I couldn’t be prouder, but why did you do it?” Farrah asked.

  I don’t think Londynn is going to answer and just as I’m about to enter the room I hear her tell Farrah “I felt like I was going to go into an anxiety attack. I felt like I did before going to Spirit. I’m tired Farrah. I’m tired of putting on this perfect image. I’m tired of doing everything they expect me to do.”

  “I know you are," Farrah says her voice thick with emotion.

  Londynn sounded so defeated that I wanted to rush in and wrap my arms around her and protect her from everything but then that would mean letting her past my own walls. The walls I built to keep from getting hurt again. I couldn’t handle it but here I was considering that very thing. Londynn made me want things I shouldn’t.

  By the time I entered the room Londynn was asleep, Farrah looked up at me as I stood in the doorway watching her sleep. “Jagger?” she whispered.