“I don’t have any desire to continue in law school, so I will drop out immediately. Then I will take my money and become the international entrepreneur that I’ve always dreamed about," he says, and I notice the faraway look that comes into his eyes.
“What about a family?”
He shakes his head. “No, it’s not for me. I won’t marry, and I won’t have kids. You know there’s something you have to understand about Londynn if you’re going to be with her. We’ve never actually seen a loving, functional relationship before. All we were surrounded by were couples that had been placed together because of what each family could gain. There was no love in any of them. There were lies, cheating and some form of self-medicating. Londynn yearns for that relationship that will be filled with love and romance. As well as someone who will love her for her. I know she acts older than what she is a lot of the time, but she’s bound to be inexperienced with relationships.”
As I mull over his words I realize that he’s right. Londynn probably hasn’t seen a real relationship. I’ve watched one my entire childhood, my parents were madly in love until the day my mom passed away. Then I had went on and found one myself with Harlyn but Londynn had only seen the worse of relationships. The only love she really understood was the kind that could be bought. I needed to remember that and have better patience, if she even still wanted me after tonight.
“So, do you know what’s going on between Alivia and Ryce and/or Creed?” Duke asks pulling me back into the present.
“What do you mean?”
He’s studying something behind me. “Well, I’ve been friends with Ryce a long time and I know when he’s hooking up with someone. I see that look when he looks at Alivia but then I’ve spotted her all over with Creed, so I was curious if you knew what was going on.”
I sigh before deciding to tell him the truth. Besides from the sound of it he’s already figured it out. “The night Vivienne died and Londynn had her break down she found Alivia, topless in Ryce’s lap.”
“What? Why would you say that Jagger?” I heard a very angry and hurt voice come from behind me. Ace and Bowie were by my side in no time but all I could think was “Shit, Creed.”
Chapter 24
Jagger
I knew the minute I recognized the voice that I had made a huge mistake. Not only was this information going to upset Creed it could very well end any chance I had with Londynn. I know she wanted to be the one to tell him and this wasn’t my secret to tell, even to Duke. I turn around and face him “Creed.”
“Why the hell are you lying on Alivia like that?” He says. The anger is evident in his voice.
I shake my head “I’m not lying.” I notice Alivia standing off to the side looking shocked. “Ask her yourself," I tell Creed motioning towards Alivia.
He looks in Alivia’s direction and notices her shake her head. Wow! That girl is something and not in a good way. Creed takes a step towards me “What Jagger? Do you think you’re the only one who can date someone above you? Do you think that gives you the right to lie about Alivia? To tarnish her name?” From the corner of my eye I see Bowie move to defend me, but I place a hand on his arm to stop him.
“It’s not like that Creed. You need to calm down and listen to me.” I try to sound convincing because Creed has always been like another little brother to me and I really don’t want to fight him, but I will if I have to.
Creed is shaking his head vigorously. “Why? To listen to more of your lies? You’re a liar!”
“No! He’s not but Alivia is.” I don’t know where she is, but I hear her. Then the crowd that has built around us parts and Londynn walks through. She stops a few steps away from us. Alivia has also joined us on the other side of Creed. Londynn gives Creed an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry Creed but Jagger isn’t lying. Alivia did sleep with Ryce. The night Vivienne passed away I went looking for her, but she wasn’t home. Her mom told me she had went out. So, I went to Ryce’s thinking that maybe this would be the moment that he’d become a decent boyfriend but of course I was wrong. No, going to Ryce’s just confirmed my suspicions that Ryce was a lying cheating bastard but it also showed me a whole new side to Alivia. She was topless and straddling Ryce’s lap. I’m sorry Creed but she isn’t who you think she is.”
Creed turns around and stares at Alivia as if he’s seeing some sort of alien for the first time. “Is it true?”
Alivia looks down at the ground and slightly nods her head yes. Creed removes his glasses and rubs eyes harder than necessary. “How could you? How could you do that to Londynn? How could you do that with Ryce?” He asks saying Ryce’s name in disgust.
“I don’t know it just happened. I didn’t know that Londynn had seen us that night. I’m s---“
Creed cuts her off “Are you still seeing him?”
Alivia looks up and there are tears streaming down her face. “Yes.” Ryce steps up and throws his arm around Alivia’s shoulders. She makes no move to shake it off which gives Creed all the answers he needs to know.
Creed slips his glasses back on then glares at both Alivia and Ryce. “We’re done. Don’t come crying to me when he screws you over because he will Alivia. But don’t you dare come to me because I won’t be there for you.” With that he turns and heads towards the crowd. Londynn reaches out for his arm but he quickly yanks it away and tells her “Don’t.”
When Londynn turns around I see the hurt in her eyes. She looks at both me and Alivia and I’m not sure which of us hurt her worse. The supposed to be best friend who slept with her boyfriend behind her back or the boyfriend that she trusted enough to confide in and just told one of her biggest secrets. I don’t say anything because I have no right to speak. Whatever Londynn decides I’ll have to take because I’ve royally messed up here. Londynn looks back at Alivia. “He deserved so much better than that.”
“You knew all that time and didn’t say anything to him or me?” Alivia asks.
Londynn shakes her head. “Yes, I knew all that time, but I didn’t say anything because I thought you might grow a moral code or remorse and tell him yourself. Instead, you went on like nothing happened. You visited me every weekend for three months and played like nothing had happened. Like we were still just best friends, but you knew this big secret. I’m with Creed, we’re done.”
“You’re just going to throw away our friendship over some guy?” Alivia yells at Londynn’s retreating back.
Londynn swings back around. “No, you did.” She turns back around and the crowd parts to let her pass. I should go after her, but I can’t make my feet move.
Ryce is still standing with all of us. “Damn she’s freakin’ crazy as shit.”
That comment sends me overboard. When I glance back I notice Duke wiping something from his car. “Duke looks like you missed a spot man," I tell him right before my fist connects on the one part of Ryce’s face that isn’t bruised or busted. He stumbles back as I shake out my hand. Ace, Bowie, Axell and Connor are all at my side in case any of his friends try anything but of course they don’t. “Don’t you ever talk about my girlfriend like that again because if you do they’ll have to wire your jaw back together.” I turn around and leave through the crowd the same way Londynn did.
As I near my car I see her head of honey colored hair leaning against it. I walk over to her and meet her dark hazel eyes. I memorize them because there’s a very good chance this will be the last time I ever see them this close. “Why the hell were you even discussing that?” She asks.
I run a hand through my hair. “Your brother asked, and it just slipped out. I didn’t even know Creed was here, I swear. I’m sorry Londynn.”
“It’s great that you’re sorry Jagger but sorry doesn’t fix the broken heart Creed suffered tonight or our broken trust. How am I supposed to trust you now? How am I supposed to know that whatever I tell you in the future won’t be aired in front of the entire racing community?” The hurt in her eyes breaks my heart in a whole new way. I can’t believe I just blur
ted out information she had trusted me with.
“You don’t know but all I can do is promise that I won’t do it again and that I am really sorry. I’m sorry that Creed got hurt. I’m sorry the whole crowd found out. But most of all I’m sorry I hurt you. I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you," I tell her, and I mean it. It’s not just some line to get what I want. It’s the truth. I would do anything to make it up to her. “Please Londynn.” Inwardly I cringe because I’m standing here begging a girl. I haven’t done that since I was a teenager but if I have to do it again at least I know Londynn’s worth it.
She’s biting her lip and I know she’s trying to keep from crying. She shakes her head. “I don’t know right now Jagger. I have to go find Creed. I’ll call you.” And with that she turns on heels and walks away from me. Now all I can do is wait and see what she decides.
****
Londynn
As I walk away from Jagger I let the tears fall. I can’t believe he was just discussing my personal life at the races and with my brother. I really thought I could trust Jagger. I thought he was going to be different but maybe I was wrong. Ugh! And Creed, I can’t even begin to think about how he feels. I wanted to tell him, and I didn’t know how but this was definitely not what I had in mind. I’m walking down the sidewalk when a Jeep pulls up beside me. I see Kynlee inside, “Londynn," she hollers at me. She walks over to me. “Come on you’re going to need some sort of transportation to go after Creed. Take my Jeep but just drop me back off at the races first, okay?”
“Kynlee, thank you for the offer but I can’t just take your Jeep.” I tell her.
She laughs while pulling me towards the open driver’s door. “Of course, you can. Besides it’ll speed everything up. You find Creed and fix things with him then you call Jagger and y’all meet up and fix things and I get to ride home with Ace.”
“I don’t know if I can fix things with Jagger.” Admitting it only makes me want to cry again.
Kynlee leans forward and opens the passenger side compartment box and takes out a package of Kleenex. She takes one out and hands it to me. “Of course, you can. He didn’t mean for all that to break out back there. Jagger isn’t a bad guy. Actually, none of the James’ are. Just hard to love but it’s worth it.”
I think about her words as we slowly make our way back to the races. “Do you love Ace?”
A sad smile appears on her face. “So much but it’s far from easy.”
“Out of all of them he seems like he’d be the most difficult.”
She sighs then turns to face me while I park to let her out. “He is but the more difficult something is the higher the reward. Ace Daniel James is so much more than he seems. He’s terrified of love and he refuses to admit that he loves anything but I know he does. I know he loves his brothers and his car and his shop. And I know he loves me and someday he’s going to tell me and when he does that’ll be the best day of my life and it’ll make all of this bullshit we go through worth it. Besides like my mom said once you choose who you love you can’t turn back, you just have to ride the scariest rollercoaster of all. Go find Creed and make sure he’s okay then fix things with Jagger. I think you both deserve a little love and happiness.”
I grab and hug her before she can resist or get out of the Jeep. “So, do you," I whisper in her ear. When she pulls back that sad smile is back, and I can’t help but hope that sometime soon it will be replaced with a happy one. She gets out and as soon as I lose sight of her in the crowd I back out of the parking spot and head towards the one place I know Creed will be.
****
Once I leave the races I head for the small public playground on this side of town that is actually next door to the public library, attached to the playground is a small baseball field. Creed had dreams of becoming professional baseball player before he took a scholarship to the private school. We had no sports in our school, all academics which meant he had to give up his dream of baseball, but he was like me. Whenever we needed to think we went to the place that held our dreams, for me a dance studio and for him a baseball field.
As I turn the corner Kynlee’s headlights wash over Creed’s family car. I sigh in relief. I pull in next to the Camry and hop out. While I approach the field, I try to figure out how to fix these things. How do I fix things with Creed? How do I fix things with Jagger? Who knew that the freedom that I craved so badly would be so complicated? As soon as I step through the gate I see Creed sitting on the small, worn, wood bleachers. Creed looks up as I approach. “Londynn, I don’t want to see you right now.”
I stop in front of him and cross my arms over my chest as if that stance could protect from any hurtful words he might say. “I figured that, and I understand but at least let me explain.”
He eyes glare into mine. “Fine, explain.” I stand there for some time moving my weight between my feet. I’m unsure of how to explain this. “Are you going to explain?” Creed finally asks.
“Yes, I’m just unsure where to start.”
“The truth. How about you start with the truth," Creed tells me like it makes all the sense in the world and it probably should.
I take a deep breath and release it slowly. “Okay, I wanted to tell you the truth about Alivia and Ryce but I didn’t want to hurt you.”
He lets out a hard laugh. “As opposed to tonight?”
“I know, I didn’t plan on you finding out like this Creed. You’re one of my best friends and I love you. I know how long you’ve had feelings for Alivia. You held her on some kind of pedestal. I knew if you found out the truth you’d probably change your mind on her considering how you felt about Ryce. I didn’t want to shatter your dreams of her. I didn’t want to be the one that told you because honestly, I didn’t have the guts to tell you. It’s like if I talked about the whole situation…that night…it made it real.”
Creed is very quiet for a while and looks up at the sky, but you can’t see the stars tonight. Finally, Creed says “I can understand that. You had gone through so much in such a short amount of time, so I can understand not wanting to talk about it. I get that you wanted to keep it to yourself, so it wouldn’t seem real, but you should have told me.”
I nod my head in agreement “You’re right I should have. Jagger told me to but I just didn’t know how and then the day I finally decided to you were heading out to meet with Alivia, so I chickened out.”
Creed takes his glasses off and rubs his eyes with the palms of his hands. “I was so blinded by her that I’d just ignore anything she did that was questionable.”
“I’m sorry Creed," I tell him.
He looks up at me slowly. “I know you are and I forgive you but promise me that you will talk to me next time.”
“I promise.”
Creed opens his arms and closes the distance between us, making me wrap my arms around his neck. As I lay my cheek on his red and black flannel shirt I feel the warmth of it. He smells like Creed, a mixture of aftershave and books. Creed asks. “How did Jagger know?”
I pull back and take a seat next to Creed. “I told him the night he left town. I had decided that I wanted more with him, but I knew I couldn’t have that if I wasn’t completely honest with him. He needed to know about Spirit and what had led up to that point, so I told him everything.”
“Wow, I bet that was scary.”
I laugh “Terrifying! It didn’t help that he hauled ass and disappeared for a month afterwards, but I understood his reasons for leaving. You should know that he encouraged me to tell you a while ago, but I was a coward.”
“A coward? Londynn Parrish you are not a coward. You are one of the bravest people I know. Everything that has been thrown at you in life you have met head on. They knock you down and you get back up. You’re so brave but you don’t see it," he tells me. He wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him. After a while he tells me “Come on let’s go home. It’s getting late.”
“Okay. Would you mind following me to drop off Kynlee’s Jeep then
dropping me off at my place?” I ask him.
“Of course not.” He extends his hand and I take it. As we cross the field I can’t help but feel like even though I’ve known Alivia all my life that Creed is actually the best friend I’ve ever had. I never would have thought that my best friend and boyfriend would come from such a different world.
When Creed and I pull into the parking lot in front of the condo I now live in I notice Jagger’s Camaro parked in my assigned spot. As Creed pulls up behind it I see Jagger get out of the car. I watch as he makes his way towards us, when he reaches the trunk he leans back against it and waits for me. “Thanks Creed. I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah, have a good night," Creed tells me as I get out of his car. I stand a few feet from Jagger and cross my arms over my chest again. I had been so upset at the races I hadn’t noticed how good he looked. His dark denim jeans and vintage Guns N’ Roses t-shirt with his black leather jacket over it makes him look like some kind of male model. I want to close the space and wrapped up in him but I can’t do that right now. Instead I tell him “I didn’t call you.”
“I know but I needed to know that you got home okay.”
I look off into the distance and shake my head. “Well, since you’re here you might as well come inside so we can talk.” I walk past him while rummaging through my purse for my keys. I notice that Farrah’s Range Rover isn’t here which means she’s with Connor and probably knew Jagger was coming here. I don’t know how this talk is going to go and a part of me is scared to open the door.
Chapter 25
Londynn
Pedal to the Metal Page 19
