by Iona Rose
He was even more baffled. “You’ll be going to Indiana for a couple of months?”
I nodded. I had never seen him so disappointed, but in times like this, he chose to remember that I was his boss.
“We talked about New York, and London,” he said quietly.
“I’m willing to be a little bit more patient.”
“So it must be this agency… in Indiana.”
I nodded. “It must.”
He sighed. “This is about a woman isn’t it? That’s why you stayed behind an extra week in Alanya?”
I didn’t respond.
He knew not to push it any further. He rose to his feet. “I’ll get it done, sir.”
I knew he was in total disagreement with what I was doing. Before we had come together five years earlier to run this agency, he had been my boss for about eight years.
Since working together, we had remained sociable and respectful to each other, but whenever my instructions didn’t sit well with him, the clear hierarchy between us resurfaced. It always felt like a slap in the face every time.
On his way out of the office, he stopped, and turned to look back at me. “Carter, aren’t you worried that this is a big mistake?”
“I am,” I replied. “But like you said, if it’s one that I can still remember fondly enough in the years to come, no matter how things turn out, then I'll be grateful for it.”
He shook his head dejectedly. “It’s funny how you only ever pay attention to the worst things that come out of my mouth. Thanks for helping me to shoot myself in the foot once again.”
I couldn’t help my amusement as he exited the room, but it soon faded into the low hum of panic that was coursing through me.
I was the one who had just most probably shot myself in the foot, and it was more excruciating because I couldn’t even tell right now if I had made a good decision or not.
And by the time I would be able to, it definitely would be too late to turn back.
The wound was going to fester, and it may end up costing me more than I wanted to part with.
I couldn’t believe what I was doing, but the decision had nagged and tormented me for the last two weeks.
It was my norm now to be woken up in the middle of the night, my body drenched with sweat, and my mind haunted by the vivid memories of the girl I had told myself that I would so easily be able to forget.
In the month since I’d returned however, she had taken complete and total control of me, and it was driving me crazy.
I needed to be with her again… and the longing drowned out everything else in my life.
I understood exactly what Mark had meant by his warning, but still I couldn’t stop myself from jumping, my only wish that my story would have a better ending than his.
That when I arrived over there, I would be welcomed with open arms, and that she wouldn’t have already moved on to something or someone else that she was convinced served her better than I ever did, or ever would.
Yes, this was probably the biggest mistake I ever made in my life, but it was one… I hoped, would also be one of my very best.
Chapter 17
Leah
I had just arrived back home when the call came in from Tracy.
I hadn’t really seen either her or Anne more than a few of times since the return from our trip, so her call was a very welcome end to the day. I plopped down on my couch, Cheryl on my lap, as I settled in to speak with her.
“How was your day?” she asked.
“Tough,” I replied and asked about hers, handling toddlers all day as a kindergarten teacher. Then I thought about my new boss-the grandfather, as Jeremy had named him. I briefly filled her in on this.
“You think he’s interested?” she asked.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Who knows? His hand on my shoulder was quite unprofessional.”
“Maybe he was just being extra friendly,” she said.
I acceded to her conclusion.
Suddenly however, my stomach began to feel queasy, and it was soon followed by the threat of a vomiting episode. I tried my best to ignore it, to just continue on the phone with Tracy but then when it seemed as though my guts were about to spew out through my throat, I flung the phone aside and jumped up.
I ran to the bathroom, arriving just in time before the retching began.
I fell on my knees, and spewed the contents of my dinner into the bowl. By the time I was done, I sat back on the tile floor, completely drained of energy.
I was worried. Did this mean that I had also caught whatever was going around in the office?
I rose to my feet, and after rinsing out my mouth, stared at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were sunken, and my complexion looked sickly pale. I most definitely could not get sick. We had a proposal request to prepare for in less than a week.
I heard my phone ringing again, and headed back to the living room. I put it to my ear and settled back down on the couch. “Tracy?” I asked but there was a pause on the other end for a moment.
“Oh, you’ve heard from her.”
Anne’s voice instantly registered. “Yeah, I just now spoke to her.”
“Can you believe it?” she asked. “She’s freaking engaged. I never thought that I’d actually see the day.”
For a moment, it felt like I’d been hit in the head with a rock. Anne continued to gush on, but I stopped her. “What? Tracy’s engaged?”
“Yeah, Jared proposed to her tonight. You just told me that you’ve spoken to her. “
“Well, I spoke to her but she didn’t mention it.”
Anne sighed heavily then. “I guess I wasn't meant to mention it either.”
I sat up. “What’s going on? Why would she hide it from me?”
“She wasn’t hiding it, Leah. Anyway, I gotta go now, so call her. Is there any chance of you not mentioning that I was the one who slipped up and told you?”
“What’s going on?” I snapped. “Why am I being tiptoed around?”
“Call her,” she said, and ended the call.
A few seconds later, I was back on the phone with Tracy.
“Leah, are you okay?” she asked. “You ended the call so abrup—’”
“You’re engaged?” I asked, still finding it difficult to believe.
Her pause was just long enough to confirm the intended secrecy.
“I don’t understand,” I said. “Why would you keep this from me? Am I not the first person you’d want to tell? It's such great fucking news!” I realized now they’d been like this since we’d returned from Turkey.
“Leah, I'm really sorry,” she said. “I was going to come over personally tomorrow to—”
“This is because of Carter isn’t it?”
“Leah—”
“Congratulations, Tracy,” I said in a sour tone, and ended the call. I went to bed, but I was unable to fall asleep. I considered the possibility that I was the one to blame. Ever since our return, I had remained so withdrawn from them, but it hadn’t been intentional. I just focused on work, expecting that things would fall back into place, and I would return to normal, but it wasn’t the case.
I shut my eyes, the image of his face coming to mind once again.
It haunted me—those green, serene eyes. Ones, I wanted so badly to stare into again.
Every time I laid in bed, I thought of him… of the trail his kisses made on my body… and of the way he’d tasted when I kissed him. He took me to a place I wanted so desperately to revisit again. An enchanted space in my mind, a place which made me feel like I was filled to bursting with life, and excitement. But now, I just felt… impassive. I didn’t see colors like I had back in Alanya, and the day in, day out in life just seemed to drag on in a black and white slowness.
I couldn’t believe that just one week with him had done this to me. I just couldn’t believe it.
Perhaps in life, certain people were sent to us… to awaken our souls, and he had done just that.
I wanted to call Tracy
back, to apologize but I decided to do it in the morning.
She, however, beat me to it.
I was putting together a blueberry and yogurt smoothie for myself when the doorbell rang. This was an unusual occurrence, especially so early in the day.
She came in with a bag of seaweed rice rolls for me from my favorite Korean restaurant.
I fell into her arms with gratitude. “I’m sorry,” I apologized.
She shook her head, tears filling her eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t call to tell you first. You were the first person that came to mind but I wanted to be careful about—”
“I understand. But you don’t have to be careful anymore. I'm over him and everything that happened. I’ve just been feeling a little sick but I'll be better soon.”
“You’re sick?” she asked, looking concerned.
“I’m not sure,” I said as I returned to the counter to put away the blueberries and yogurt. “I don’t feel particularly feverish but I am extremely fatigued and I did throw up last night. That’s why my call with you was cut off so abruptly. There’s a bug going around in the office so I think I somehow caught it. I hate being sick.”
“Why don’t you stop by the hospital on your way back from work?”
“It's not that serious,” I said. “I’ll watch it for today and see how things go.”
“Cheryl!” She suddenly called out, and lowered to the floor at the puppy’s exit from my bedroom to meet her aunt. Tracy immediately lifted her into her arms, and tried to fight off a tongue bath. Eventually, she let her down and smiled at the corgi. “Cheryl’s getting fat,” she said as she headed over to the fridge. She grabbed a banana and turned to look at the dog wagging its tail at her.
“Yeah. I think Camilla overfed her when I was away.”
“I don’t think…” She lifted her gaze to mine. “Don’t you think she’s pregnant?”
For a moment, I felt a punch to my gut that made me want to reel. My hand immediately went to my mouth as I retched.
“Oh, my God. Leah, are you okay?”
It took a moment for the nausea to subside, so I waited, as the last thing I wanted was a visit to the toilet again before heading to work. I was already running late. The moment the wave of nausea passed, I straightened. “I’m fine,” I said. “Damn virus. I have to go.”
“Take a few damn days off,” she called.
I grabbed my smoothie, and the lunch she had gotten me. “I can’t,” I said. “Lock the door on your way out and please fill up Cheryl’s bowl.”
“Can I have some of your chicken nuggets?” ahe called out.
I smiled, my response was loud and threatening. “No!”
I was caught with my head down on my desk.
My phone vibrated with a message just as I felt a small tap on my arm, and I lifted my head to see the Vice President staring down at me.
I almost fell out of the chair. “Oh my God, I'm so sorry,” I said immediately, burning with embarrassment.
“It's okay,” he said, his gaze filled with concern. “Are you all right?”
“I am…” I began to say but then realized I was missing a chance to salvage my being caught slacking off. “Um… I’ve just felt a bit nauseous.”
“Maybe you’ve caught the bug like the others,” he said. “My secretary had to take the day off today."
“I’ll get checked out after work today to be sure that everything is fine.”
“Ok. I just came from Henry’s office. He said you’re working on the copies for Vita?”
“I am, sir.” My lips tightened at the error. “Daniel.”
He smiled. “Alright then. I’ll look forward to seeing what you come up with.” He went on his way.
I collapsed back into my seat.
My phone buzzed with the arrival of another text message. It was an apology from our web developer and my cubicle neighbor- Sarah Pool.
‘Sorry’, she wrote. ‘I tried to warn you.’
I checked and saw that she had indeed called me just before he had arrived at my desk. And she had sent a text, ‘Grandfather’s heading your way.’
My brows shot up at the name. “Jeremy’s already spread this title around?” I raised my head to catch her gaze.
“What title?” she asked. “Grandfather?”
“Yeah.”
“Jeremy started it?” She looked confused.
“He did, in the conference room yesterday.”
She laughed softly, her eyes on her screen. “Did you hear about the acquisition?”
I frowned as I brought my computer back to life. “What acquisition?”
“Everything’s been kept so hush hush but I heard Henry on the phone with I think the CMO. We’ve been bought out.”
At the information, I paused. “What? Why? By whom.”
“We’ll have to wait to find that out. Doesn’t matter too much anyway. As long as I have my job and management doesn’t become a pain, I could care less who owns the agency.”
I returned to work, and once again felt quite out of balance. I had no idea what I expected to happen but my legs just did not seem to be on the ground. I decided I needed a day off. To take care of my heart and to reset. It was just Wednesday, and Friday seemed like a lifetime away at this point. Especially since there’d be work to do over the weekend in preparation for the client pitch on Wednesday.
I waited till the end of the day to report my intended absence for the next day, and it was approved.
On my way home, Tracy called me. “You didn’t check my ring,” she said.
For a moment, I didn’t understand what she was talking about. And then it made sense. “Oh…” I smiled, as I turned the corner onto my street. “I’m sorry. It didn’t even occur to me.”
“It's okay,” she said.
“Send me a picture.”
“No need. I’m coming over tonight with Anne. That’s why I’m calling. Take the day off tomorrow to take care of yourself, otherwise you’re going to have to go to work drunk in the morning.”
I was amused. “I already did.”
“Yes!” She exclaimed. “We’ll be over at 8.”
I ended the call and looked forward to the night in with my girls.
Chapter 18
Leah
Four hours later, the wine was flowing, and popcorn was littered across my living room as we re-watched Sex and the City.
The series never failed to amuse and bond us, and was the only show that we could watch together without anyone grumbling out of boredom.
Today however, as I paid more attention to Carrie’s woes with Big, I couldn’t help but ask. “Is this true? That men choose to commit to the next woman they meet when their light comes on and not necessarily with anyone they deem special?”
“I don’t think men are capable of deeming anyone special,” Anne said, her voice completely devoid of feeling. “They’re like dogs… from one bone to the next. No offense Tracy… I’m sure Jared is the exception.”
I smacked her arm from my sprawled position on the couch, while she sat on the floor in front of me.
“I’m not offended,” Tracy said. “Jared is an exception.”
The room went quiet again, but I wasn’t done with my questioning, “Is it that they can’t commit to anyone special or we’re labeled in their eyes… sorted out into categories. These I fuck… those I marry.”
“More like those I fuck, this I marry.” Anne griped again.
She continued to amuse me, as always.
“I don’t think that’s true,” Tracy said. “They’re human beings just like us.”
“I doubt that,” Anne quickly chipped in.
Tracy ignored her and went on, “They’re human. So sometimes, they’re not even expecting when that special person comes into their life. Especially, those that never even considered marriage to be in the cards for them. But then that special person comes and the pain of losing her suddenly becomes more excruciating than whatever torment they’ve believed marriage to b
e. I truly think it’s more like there is this one woman I absolutely can’t let go of, and then they get married because that’s the only way to keep her.”
Anne had a contemptuous look on her face. “Sometimes you’re so sappy, I feel myself sweltering just for being in close proximity to you.”
“That’s your problem not mine. Leah, don’t you agree with me?” Tracy asked.
I was no longer in the room. I thought of Carter as he had said his goodbye to me on the beach, and the blankness that had been in his gaze when he had done so. “Maybe I’m one of those that men just like to fuck,” I said.
“Well, that makes two of us,” Anne said, turning to clink her glass against my forehead. “And it’s not a bad place to be.”
Tracy ignored her. “That’s not true.”
I kept silent after that until another episode later when Anne rose up to go to the bathroom. Cheryl followed her. By the time they both returned Anne said, “The more I look at Cheryl.” She settled back down on the rug. “The more I think that she does look pregnant. Tracy, you might be right.”
“She’s a corgi…” I groaned.
“Wow. Fat shaming much,” Anne joked. “But still, her stomach looks swollen. Much bigger than usual.”
I turned to study the puppy, who was now huddled on her bed in the corner, her eyes heavy with slumber. Their observations suddenly began to make sense to me. I hurried over and pulled her into my arms to inspect properly, and found that they were right. “Oh my God,” I whispered. “How could this happen?”
“Doesn’t your neighbor have a male dog?” Tracy asked. “They always hang out don’t they?”
My mouth fell open.
Anne was doubly amused. “Cheryl you dirty girl. You fucked someone?”
Tracy burst out laughing.
Just then, my stomach suddenly lurched. I ran from the living room and straight into the bathroom to the alarm of everyone.
