“Then tell me.” I press the issue, wanting to know what happened to him. He retracts his hand, placing them both on the steering wheel.
“Do you need help getting Matty in the house?” He stares out the window and I’ve lost him already.
“Rob, who is Carly?” His head flips around, blue eyes of steel boring into me. Then he focuses forward again, his thumb weaving along the steering wheel.
“Get out, Paige.” His words are cold and sharp.
“Let me be a friend to you.” I go to place my hand on his thigh, but he jerks it out of my reach.
Not wanting to impel too hard, I exit the car. I push the front seat up and retrieve Matty, My throat constricts when Rob never glances our way. The second my door shuts and I’m a step away, he throws the car in reverse and his loud muffler roars down the street. “Well, that didn’t go very well,” I mumble to myself and Matty stirs in my arms.
“Mommy?” he murmurs and I place my hand on his blond hair.
“No baby, it’s Paige.”
His head picks up and thankfully I can place him back down to get my keys and open the door. Once we are secure in the house, he searches around the kitchen and then up to me. “Where’s Rob?” he asks and I shrug, the tears welling up in my eyes about to break.
“He had to go out. Why don’t we have a bath and then get ready for bed? We can watch a movie together.”
“YAY!” He jumps up and down. Amazing the energy he has after being knocked out for a half hour. “I wish Rob would have stayed. We could have all watched it together.” Matty’s pouting because of Rob shouldn’t surprise me. His own dad isn’t much of a presence in his life. Even though Rob is a complete douche, he did win Matty over easily.
I ruffle his hair and wait for him to look up at me. “Maybe next time, okay?” He nods his head, but the hurt isn’t hard to miss. People have always left Matty behind and I fear he’ll end up like Rob one day. So closed off from anyone, he won’t enjoy life.
“FUCK.” MY HAND slams into the steering wheel and my Mustang zigzags in the lane. The gas can’t hit the engine fast enough right now. Even if the drag strip was open tonight, it would do me no good. I need a long stretch of road to pour my frustrations out on. Isn’t this the reason I started to race again, for the shit in my head to disappear? To put the nightmares I can’t control to rest. Allow everything I lost all those years ago to vanish, making it only the car and me in the next lane. The adrenaline, the competition, and the win have been my remedy.
Having nowhere to disappear to, I drive aimlessly through Western. At least there aren’t haunted memories of Carly and me here. No flicker bombs that uproot the vision of her red hair or freckled cheeks. Nothing triggering what we had, and the nightmare on that dark road. The last twenty-four hours, my mind has been a fucking twister, swirling around my old shit with new shit. Carly and Paige fiercely fighting over dominance in my head. Well, not Carly, she couldn’t give a fuck about me, but my own brick wall will never fully break down to allow Paige in. For that I do blame Carly, not myself.
When Paige asked me to open up to her tonight—to allow her in, God, I wanted to. For some reason, I want her to understand why I’m unable to just flop it all down on the table for her to sort through. She’ll try to fix me, but all I want is for her to understand that I’m damaged. The settled-down life with a house and kids she witnessed tonight with my friends will never be me. Growing up, I assumed one day, I’d have kids, a wife, and a house—with Carly. My perfectly paved life path I was born on took a sharp turn that night down a very rough and bumpy uncharted trail. I may stop on the main highway now and then, but I will always return to my own isolated path.
She doesn’t make it easy to ignore my yearning for love. She’s the first girl since Jessa that propels me to crave more than a fuck. The first girl ever, whose arms around me sounds a hell of a lot better than her pussy. That’s exactly why I’ll remain her friend, but it stops there. It can’t go any further and keeping it at friendship level may test me to my limits, but I’ll make it happen—for her.
I stop outside The Loft, sitting in the driver’s seat, staring at the few young kids going in and out of the bar. Drowning my sorrows in Yeager or Jack doesn’t feel right tonight, so I lodge the keys back into the ignition and drive away. When I hit the campus drive and the historical buildings, my heart pounds against my chest. If I’m honest with myself, which I hardly am, the urge to finish my degree is tempting. The garage is getting old, and I’m fairly certain a music career isn’t for me unless I want to be a statistic and die before I reach thirty. Krypto’s tour proved one thing—the demons are everywhere and only terrorize me the more I drink.
I park the Mustang outside Hammel Hall and climb out. Staring up at the building that proved the demise of my college years, I could turn my fist to myself for how immature I was that day Professor Bridges called me out right in the middle of class for not knowing my shit. My cocky self-created a dramatic scene and scuffed out of the class, leaving my books behind. Brady fought me on it, trying to reason with me to push my ego aside and stay in school. But I wasn’t about to grovel down to the same professor that pulled me aside my freshman year, spouting how great my future would be and how intelligent I was. Little did he know, my future was plowed well before I came to Western.
The stars scatter along the dark sky; I wish a shooting star would fly across the sky and I could make a wish to be released from the boulder strapped on my back. Paige has been a wicked storm, uplifting my life in every facet. I’m not sure I’ll land on my feet when she’s done with me. But as long as that double layer brick wall remains, Paige’s chipping will never break through.
A dim light through a classroom window lights up the red brick building and I inch closer. Seeing the auditorium, with lines of chairs and a podium for the instructor to teach their students teases me. A pang of jealousy ignites inside me of the students who will graduate and move on to their future. Everyone that weaves through the sidewalks of this campus every day is moving forward and I’m stalled. Due to my own idiotism. It took Brady two months to convince me to go back to school, but my dad pulled his stunt and my mom fell into a depression. The Krypto tour was a reprieve from the responsibility of taking care of her once she threw me out of her house. Maybe I should take the money from my dad, enroll back in school, and build a future for myself.
Just then my phone dings in my pocket. Paige’s name lights up and I wonder why she’d be calling me. I want to answer and scream to leave my past alone. That I’m a grown man and can take care of my shit myself. When I slide the bar over, all I hear is labored breathing on the other end of the line. She doesn’t say a word and I know instantly that something isn’t right.
“Paige!” I scream and I hear a whimper on the other end, but nothing else.
“No!” Matty yells and then a man’s voice shouts behind him.
“Go upstairs, Matty, this is between me and Paige.”
“You’re hurting me, Carl. Please stop.” My heart calms when I hear Paige, but when her words register, I go into panic mode.
I run to my car, leaving my phone to my ear the entire time. I fumble with my keys, to get them into the ignition. Once I start the car, I peel out of the lot, my foot slams on the gas and the car’s back tires lose traction on the gravel. My hands shake has I try to keep control of the car. The image of a man’s hands on Paige takes over any line of thinking and my heartbeat matches the speed of the car. Clicking over to another line, I dial up Brady.
“What’s up?” A sense of relief arises when he answers on the first ring.
“Get over to my house right now.”
“Why?” He’s too laid back.
“Just go. Some guy’s there. Paige.”
“Sadie! Stay here. I’ll be right back,” he yells into the receiver and I hear the front door slam shut.
“Okay, where are you?” he asks and I can hear his footsteps crossing the street. “There’s a beat up blue Honda in the
driveway.”
“I’m turning down Park right now.” I skid around the corner, finally speeding down our street.
“Get the fuck out,” Brady screams just as I throw the car into park in front of the house.
Adrenaline rushes through my veins as nightmare situations flash in my head. If she’s safe, if Matty’s okay. Regret that I should have stayed with them pours out of me. Was the creep waiting for them to come home?
I run up the small hill in front of our house, the screen door wide open. Matty’s small body shakes on the stairs and I point upstairs. “Matty, go upstairs and I’ll be right there.” The kid scurries up, his bare feet barreling up the wooden stairs.
When I enter the living room, Paige is on the ground, holding her cheek and Brady’s on top of the piece of shit. “Get off him, Brady.” I come alongside of him, my voice surprisingly calm because I’m about to go MMA on the man, and there’s no tapping out in my ring.
Brady hears the anger in my voice and places his hands on my chest. “Let’s just talk to him. Calm down, Rob.” My fists clench at my sides and my blood is pumping so fast, I’m afraid I’ll pass out. I haven’t felt this way since that night long ago when I was trying to save another girl from something extremely different.
When the middle-aged man wobbles to his feet, I punch him in his face and he stumbles back down. “Who is this, Paige?” I keep my eyes glued to his, waiting for one of them to answer.
“Matty’s dad, Carl.”
“Carl, huh? Tell me Carl, why the fuck do you think you’re allowed to come into my house?” I glower down above him for an intimidation factor. I’m younger and a hell of a lot stronger than him.
He scoots back on his hands and feet until his back hits our wall. “I’m here for Matty.” He crawls up the wall and I see now, I have a few inches on him, too.
“If you’re here for Matty, why on Earth are your hands on Paige?” I step chest to chest, peering down on him once again. It’s taking everything inside of me not to beat the shit to a pulp.
He leers over to her and I punch the wall next to his face. He startles, eyes wide, focusing on me once again. “Don’t look at her. Look at me, dipshit.” I point to my eyes.
“I don’t know.” His face is pure white.
“You don’t know?” I huff and I catch Paige standing now from the corner of my eye. “Well, then why are you here for Matty?” I cross my arms across my chest and Brady sits on the edge of the couch, remaining close in case I need him.
“Linda told me to come and get him.” He shoves his hands in his pockets.
I glance over to Paige and her eyes fall to the floor and she shakes her head. I guess I’m not the only one with a fucked-up family. “Well, Linda should have called Paige.”
He nods. “And you should have kept your slimy hands off of her.” He nods again. “Tell me why you didn’t?” I egg on because that guilt is already embedded in me that I didn’t stay with her to keep fuck heads like him away.
“What do you want me to tell ya? You have me cornered with a second guy in the wing. I need the money.” He peers at her through the corner of his eye.
“Money?” I cock my head.
“Well . . . yeah,” he stutters and I so want to cold cock him.
“Why would you come to Paige for money?” Paige stalks over, placing her hand on my arm. When Carl doesn’t answer, I inch forward. “Why?”
His head rears back, hitting the wall. “Her dad.”
My head spins to her and her eyes widen in surprise. The Infiniti, nice clothes, movers. “Your dad?” I question and she nibbles on the inside of her cheek and nods.
“You don’t even know who her dad is?” Carl scoffs and my hand lands on his throat, pinning him to the wall.
As Carl’s nails are scratching at my hands in an eager attempt for air, I keep my focus on Paige. “He supports me. Carl seems to think since we are related through Matty, he deserves some of the money I get from my dad.” She steps up to him, her hand on my forearm. “He’s the reason I left my last apartment.”
My arm falls and she links my fingers with hers. Damn, she has a way with me not many have had before her. “Well, he won’t be the reason you leave this one.” I think we both know it will be me.
I tighten my grip on her hand. “Forget this address. You should feel damn lucky you didn’t barge in here when her other two roommates were here. They’re crazy mother fuckers.” He doesn’t need to know Chrissy’s all of five-four. Even though, I do imagine she can hold her own pretty well. Then I inch closer. “See, Paige is mine and I don’t like it when people fuck with what’s mine. I strongly suggest you don’t come here again.” I painfully release my hand from Paige’s in order to punch the wall for dramatic effect again. He flinches. “Never. You hear me? Or you’ll be face to face with my Glock.” I don’t own a gun, but this asshole is on a need to know basis. This will only insure he won’t bother Paige again. “Matty will stay with us tonight and be returned to his mother tomorrow.” I double-check with Paige, only finding sadness as she nods. “Maybe.” I add because I’m not sure Linda is the best person for Matty, Paige either for that matter.
He takes a deep breath and I step back, making sure Paige joins me. Brady hands her an icepack and she places it on the small of her back. “This is good-bye, Carl.” I wait for him to escape toward the door. He finally does and I follow him. “Brady, I’ll be right back.”
“Rob, he’s not worth it.” Paige moves to come forward, but I hold my hand up in the air. She stops and her shoulders fall.
The door slams shut when I follow and Carl’s footsteps move faster than mine did that time Carly’s dad found me in her bedroom. Crossing the lawn, I wait by my car until he backs out of the driveway. My arms crossed over my chest, making sure he knows exactly what will be waiting for him if he returns. Once he’s no longer visible, I climb into my Mustang and pull it up the driveway.
I stop outside the back door and stare up at the sky. Praying for that shooting star to cast a wish on. If I didn’t need anything else in my life, the girl inside just scared the crap out of me and I’m pretty sure she sensed how much her safety affected me. This incident only makes it harder to convince myself that keeping my distance is best for her.
I enter through the screen door and bypass the kitchen straight to the living room. Matty is wrapped up in Paige’s arms as she rocks him back and forth. Brady widens his eyes at me and rolls back on his heels behind them. “Do you guys want to stay at my house for the night?” he hesitantly asks, peering over the couch.
Paige lifts her head, one curl falling down over her eyes, silently asking me. “No, we’ll be fine, but thanks for everything, Brady.”
Paige turns her head to him. “Thank you so much, Brady. I really appreciate you coming over so fast,” she adds, and Brady gives a silent nod.
“If you change your mind, you still have a key, right Rob?” He makes his way to the door and I follow.
“Yeah. Thanks, man.”
He shoots me a look and knowing smile that it’s time to talk and tell Paige why exactly I’m so fucked up. Just as he slips through the doorway, he turns my way. “Call me if you need me.”
I nod and lock the door behind him. Turning around, I find Matty wrapped around Paige like a koala as she starts up the stairs. I hold my hands out and Matty gladly switches to me. We quietly go upstairs and I examine Paige’s room. Her drawers lie on the carpeted floor, pieces of clothing sporadically lying wherever they landed after being swung. When I turn to find her, she lowers her eyes and fixates on her feet. My stomach churns for what she went through and knowing I should have stayed is like a knife to my gut.
Recovering fast, I inch back from Matty so he can see me. “Guess what bud? You get to sleep in my bed.”
“Really?” His excitement brings a smile to my face. The only damn one in the last twenty minutes.
Backtracking to my bedroom, we step in and Paige peers around at the dirty clothes overfilling my hampe
r and the pile of dust on my dresser. She swipes her finger across my nightstand and holds it up in the air. “Hey, do you see a bald head?” I point to my forehead. “I’m not Mr. Clean.” She leans against the door frame as I tuck in Matty.
“Are your sheets clean at least? I mean, Matty won’t need to be disinfected tomorrow morning?” Tucking the kid under my comforter that, to her astonishment, I did wash last week, I glance back at her.
“Nah, he’s all good.” I can’t make a snarky flirtatious comment back because the guilt weighs heavy on my chest from leaving her alone. Why bother with the front that I just want in her pants? If that was the case, I wouldn’t be allowing her brother to sleep in my bed right now.
Her sympathetic eyes dig into my soul as she crosses the room. Ignoring me, a waft of her perfume hits my nostrils in her passing to my bed. She bends down and squeezes the comforter under his body. “Snug as a bug.” Matty smiles up to her. “Night, little guy.” With a quick kiss on his forehead, she stands up and I’m envious of the love she gives so freely.
“Paige?” Matty calls out when she steps back.
“Yeah, sweetie?” She gives her attention back to him, sitting down on the bed.
“Can I live with you?” Oh shit. I slowly step out of the room, wanting to give them privacy.
“Oh, Matty. I wish you could. Someday, I promise.”
“Why not now? Mommy forgets everything. I wanted to play baseball and she said she’d sign me up, but Zach already started playing.”
“Did you have fun today?” Paige distracts him and he nods with a huge smile on his face.
“I did. Tara’s a little bossy, but I had fun.” He moves to sit up, but Paige places her hand on his chest to keep him down.
“We’ll plan another day with them soon. I promise.” She’s trying to appease him and I agree with the kid, he’s better off somewhere else.
Let Me Go Page 11
