"Do you think?" Barny repeated.
The cold sickness in her gut turned into a bright hot ball as the pounding in her ears drowned out the sound of his voice. She struck out towards him with her fist, knocking him back and away off of his feet, cutting off his vile words mid-syllable. A feral half-scream escaped her lips as she turned from him and fled, running from her guilt, from her rage, and from the fear that he could be right.
CHAPTER FIVE
Gideon watched Lily's flight from Barny with some concern, but it still took him a few minutes to get to her. Not because he didn't know where she was headed -- there were few hiding spots in Laton's high school, and even fewer that a good student like Lily would be able to find -- but because he didn't want to get caught. Lily might have free reign of the halls, but Gideon had skipped several classes that day, and was often hassled by the faculty on the good chance that there was something he'd done recently that warranted it.
Even worse, he'd spotted one of Bill's deputies down on the first floor, walking the halls. Brummel. Oh, Brummel was a bastard, to be sure. Not all of the deputies were. Some of them even seemed sympathetic towards Gideon, at least when his father wasn't around. But Brummel? Brummel was a bully, plain and simple, getting off on the power he had over other people.
Someday, Brummel'd get his.
Someday.
Gideon waited until the deputy had passed the stairwell he was hiding on, then silently slipped past his back to the door to the utility room alcove. Like the roof access, there used to be a lock to the alcove, but Gideon had jammed it his Sophomore year. Just like he thought, the school had removed it rather than paying the cost to replace it.
He was sweating almost before the door closed behind him, and once it had, the place became a veritable oven. Even though the alcove wasn't very spacious, Gideon didn't see Lily right away, even after his eyes had adjusted to the furnace's dull glow.
"Lily?" he said.
"I really need to be alone right now." Her voice came, harsh but fragile, from the corner beyond the janitor's tool rack.
Gideon would have missed her if it wasn't for the stark whiteness of her sneakers.
"Okay, just gimmie a second." Gideon sat in the small chair near the door.
Lily's only reply was a sniffle, and he felt embarrassed. For himself, for her, for the silence between them. It somehow made his flushed cheeks feel even hotter.
"I don't want to get busted," he said to fill the silence. "There's a deputy out there."
Lily stopped her sniffling, and Gideon could hear her holding her breath.
"He's not here for you!" he said. "It's me. I had a fight with da-- with the sheriff this morning, and he's got his guys looking for me. Make sure I don't skip classes. Saw another one drifting the streets this morning."
He heard Lily exhale, and relaxed a little himself.
"Besides, it'd take them longer to get here if someone called them about how you decked Barney."
Her voice was small. "Am I going to get in trouble for that?"
"I don't know. Probably not. Technically it's assault, but I been in lots of fights, and the only time the sheriff got involved was because he's my dad."
"Okay."
"I mean Barny could press charges, but then he'd be admitting you laid him out like that."
She gave a small chuckle. "Yeah, I don't see that happening."
Gideon smiled in the darkness, crossing his ankles. "You really smacked him, though. I've never seen anybody hit like that in real life. Just bam, and down he went."
"I never hit anybody before."
"You did damn good for a first time." Gideon shifted in his chair. "I'm sorry. I guess you didn't get what you wanted from him."
"He's a dick."
"That he is."
"I shouldn't have hit him--"
"No, he pretty much deserved it."
"I still don't know what happened last Saturday." Lily's voice cracked. "Like, was I driving? Did I kill Lauren?"
"Whatever happened, it's not your fault. It was just an accident."
The girl leaned forward, around the rack, and Gideon could see the haunted look on her face. "If I was driving? If I was drinking?"
"Lily--"
She leaned back out of view. "I don't even... I just want to know what happened."
In that moment Gideon wished for nothing more than to be able to say something, to alleviate the pain Lily was feeling, to help her somehow feel some sort of resolution. "The accident report would say who was sitting where and what your BAC was."
Lily stared at him, eyes wide. "Can you... can you get that? The report?"
Gideon felt a fluttering high. It was new to him, someone looking at him with hope in their eyes, relying on him, counting on him for something other than to be disappointed. "What, me? No."
"The sheriff's your dad."
"Yeah, but I don't have access to his files or anything. He doesn't keep them at home."
Lily dropped her head. "Oh."
He wasn't willing to give up that high so easily.
"I know someone who might be able to get them, though."
"Really?" Lily's voice rose.
"Shit yeah." Gideon stood, a grin appearing on his face. "Let me check to see if the coast is clear."
Lily hesitated. "I don't want to skip school completely."
Gideon's grin broadened. "Don't worry. We don't have to leave the building."
***
Lily followed Gideon as he moved with exaggerated care down the hallway. He was cumbersome and not particularly graceful, but he knew when to move and when to stay still, how to evade detection by the faculty, and when to slip past an open door and when to wait. Something about this, the sneaking, guiding her, seemed to excite and vitalize him. It seemed natural to him.
She wasn't complaining. Gideon was a burnout, a pot-head, a troublemaker who defied authority. They moved in different circles, but she didn't see in his eyes the mockery that Barny's words had held. He was helping her. Whatever his own reasons were, she was grateful for it. It made her feel less alone.
"Where are we headed?" she whispered.
"Library." Gideon stopped outside the doors.
"Think Mr. Gonzales can help?"
"What?" He cracked the door open, then looked back at her like she was crazy. "No."
He slipped in, gesturing for her to follow.
Laton High didn't have a large library, but it was very modern, paid for with a generous grant from the International Church of Christ Everlasting. Unlike the rest of the school, whose decor had been firmly established in the late seventies, everything in the library looked like it came from an Apple store or Ikea catalog. The black and white furnishings had rounded corners and an ergonomic aesthetic.
"Then what are we here for?"
Gideon crossed the library soundlessly while Mr. Gonzales, the librarian, had his head down and his attention buried in a crossword puzzle. Lily followed as he slipped into the Computer Annex.
The Annex was half the size of the already small library, but its equipment was no less modern.There were banks of computers, high-end academic models that most students at the school had never seen, let alone used. It seemed like a bit of a waste to Lily, particularly since most of the students had computers at home, and even their phones were almost as powerful.
Gideon gestured towards the lab's only resident, a petite girl sitting by herself at one of the machines. "You know Delilah Klein?"
Of course she knew Delilah. Everyone knew Delilah. Or at least, everyone knew of Delilah, the way that everyone knew everyone else in Laton. Lily had never spoken with her, but it was impossible to be ignorant of a girl whose academic prowess had enabled her to skip into high school while her peers were just entering middle-school. The fourteen-year-old senior was younger than some of the incoming Freshmen, yet carried with her a sense of icy self-confidence that few could match.
Delilah was smarter than you were, no matter who in Laton you happen
ed to be, and everyone knew it.
"Gideon..." The girl looked up as Gideon approached, a slight smile forming that froze with as her gaze shifted to Lily. "You've brought a friend."
"You know Lily?"
She was small in person, slight even for her age, and almost lost in the hoodie she wore. "It's a small town, Gideon."
"Hi," Lily said.
Delilah's eyes half-lidded and she gave a barely perceptible nod.
"You heard about her accident?"
"Small town." Delilah pulled her hood up and slouched back in her chair, hands folded over her belly.
Lily fiddled with the rings on her hand, feeling more insignificant and dismissed than she had in her whole life. She glanced towards the doorway, then back towards the girl, trying to match the coolness of her gaze and failing.
Gideon looked back and forth between the two girls and shifted his stance. "Um. Yeah. Look, Delilah... she's trying to figure out what happened and everything, and, um..."
"Gideon thinks you can get me a copy of the accident report."
If Delilah was surprised she didn't show it, shifting her gaze levelly between the two older teens. "How exactly am I supposed to do that?"
"Well, you can get into the town's record system," Gideon said. "You know. With hacking."
Delilah's jaw dropped open for a moment before she spoke. "Are you nuts?"
"I know you can do it. You--"
The young girl's frosty demeanor shattered as she bounced up, standing on her tiptoes to wave a finger in Gideon's face. "Nnuh nnuh! Zip it!"
"But--"
"Shoosh!" She glanced back at Lily. "I can't just... hack... into police records, Gideon."
"You totally can, you--"
"It's a felony, idiot."
Gideon frowned.
She turned to Lily. "I'm sorry, I can't... I mean, I see what you're going through, it's just that I can't risk my future. For someone I hardly know."
Lily sat down heavily, the hope that had buoyed her from the boiler room sliding away, feeling both old and fragile.
Delilah was watching her. She glanced back at Gideon, a whine in her voice "You know?"
"It's important," Gideon said. "She--"
"No, it's okay," Lily said. "I get it. She's right. It's not fair to ask her to risk jail for someone she hardly knows."
"That's all it is," Delilah said. "I would if I could."
"I know." Lily slipped her head into her hands, closing her eyes. This was her cross to bear, and she couldn't expect more from anyone. "It's okay."
"Right?"
Lily cracked an eye, gazing askance towards the pair she shared the room with. She watched the bewilderment and slight disappointment on Gideon's face, and compared it to Delilah's resolute determination -- a determination that nevertheless sought validation from the older boy. She didn't know them, either of them, very well, but she'd been a big fish in her peers social pond long enough to recognize infatuation when she saw it.
She saw, too, a familiar spark in the way that Delilah looked at her, that spark of jealous resentment. Lily saw it all too often in the faces of friends whose boyfriends or crushes paid her a little too much attention. She was pretty, she was popular, and that made some girls jealous. Insecure girls.
She had no designs on Gideon, and didn't think he was helping her out of anything other than kindness, but that familiar jealousy was something she knew and understood in the sea of strangeness she felt herself drowning in.
"It's okay," she said again, sitting up and leveling her gaze towards Gideon. "You're doing what you can, Gideon. I don't know what I'd be doing without your help."
"Yeah," Gideon said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "We'll figure something out. Maybe I can break into my dad's office at home, find the password for his city account."
Lily placed her hand on top of his, watching the other girl out of the corner of her eye.
"Don't be stupid," Delilah said, slapping Gideon lightly on the chest. She sat back down in front of her computer. "You're going to get yourself arrested, idiot."
"I can't just..."
"Just keep an eye on the door." Delilah started typing. "Lily, do you have a case number or anything?"
"No, I--"
"Doesn't matter. Not like there's a massive police blotter."
"You'd be surprised," Gideon said.
"Most of what you and your idiot friends doesn't even get..." Delilah trailed off.
"What?"
"Quiet. This is... they've changed their security protocols."
Lily raised an eyebrow. "You've done this before?"
"Whole town runs off of one network," the hacker said distractedly, slipping a memory stick into the computer's USB drive. "Police, sanitation, records, they're all just subsystems."
"And you... hack into it often?"
Delilah stopped and regarded Lily coolly. "I get bored."
"Thanks. For helping."
"Yes, well, we orphans have to stick together."
"You were adopted?"
Delilah turned, hands still at keyboard level. "Yes, I was adopted. Jesus Christ, there are only a few adopted kids in this whole town and you don't know them? How can you be so self-absorbed?"
Lily held her hands up. "Sorry!"
She felt bad for manipulating the girl. It wasn't normally what she did, who she was, but Barny had put her off her game. Was she the same way? Manipulative? Sadistic?
She closed her eyes. No. This was important. Not some game. She couldn't just... go on wondering if she had gotten Lauren killed. She had to know, one way or another. If it turned out that she was guilty, that she was responsible... then she wouldn't hide from it. She'd deal with it. She could make her penance with that. But the not knowing? That she couldn't handle.
Gideon stood near the door, watching for Mr. Gonzales or any other interlopers. He was harder for her to figure. She was used to boys and their attractions to her, both overt and covert, expressed and hidden. It was something she'd learned to identify, learned to manage, and learned to ignore when necessary. She'd never use that to manipulate them, though some of her friends did. Lauren had no qualms about it. But Gideon... she didn't understand his interest. He was nervous around her, but it wasn't because he had a crush. He was hard to read -- he seemed motivated by compassion and concern, but that was at odds with his reputation as a troublemaker and all-around bad seed.
What was he after? Why was he helping her? She didn't know, and for now, she didn't care. She couldn't do this on her own, as hard as that was to admit.
"Okay," Delilah said. "I couldn't find any police records about the accident."
"Well, shit," Gideon said, walking over to join her.
Hopelessness settled like a heavy weight in Lily's gut. "That's okay. You tried, and I'm grateful."
Delilah stared at her. "No, you don't get it. I couldn't find any police records of the accident."
"Yeah?" Gideon said.
The young hacker rolled her eyes. "I couldn't find any records. There aren't any."
Gideon and Lily stared at her.
"No records?" Delilah said. "There's nothing to find? Nothing saying that an accident ever happened?"
"That doesn't make any sense," Lily said. "It was a bad crash. Someone died."
"Yeah, no kidding," Delilah said. "That tells us something right there."
"What?" Gideon asked.
"That..." Lily paced back to the computer. "It tells us that either someone erased the record or that nobody filed one to begin with." She sat next to Delilah. "Why wouldn't they file a report?"
"It's a cover-up," Gideon said.
"Okay, but why?" Lily asked.
"Because damn the man, that's why."
"Shut up," Delilah said. "I'm checking the hospital records."
"You can do that?" Lily asked.
"I can do anything," Delilah said. "I'm smart."
"Can't reach the top shelf at the supermarket," Gideon said.
Delilah rew
arded him with a single finger. "Shut up. Okay. I'm finding records for you, Lauren, and Ashley."
"What does it say?" Lily asked. "What... what were our blood-alcohol levels?"
"It doesn't say," Delilah said.
"What?"
Delilah pushed her chair back and gestured towards the screen. "It says you were admitted in critical condition, but there's no records of tests or treatment or anything."
"Why not?"
"I don't know," Delilah said. "There should be."
"What the fuck," Gideon said.
"I know!" Delilah said.
"There has to be more to it." Lily stared at the screen, concentrating.
"Sorry," Delilah said, tugging at the strings of her hoodie. "That's all there is to it."
The older girl took the mouse, clicking to tab between her admittance records and those of her friends. A small note put Lauren's time of death at only minutes after they'd arrived. She clicked over to Ashley's.
"What's this about?"
Delilah leaned in. "Looks like they're transferring her. Tonight."
"What? Where to?"
The younger girl studied the screen. "Doesn't say. It should. But there's nothing there."
"Odessa, my guess," Gideon said. "They probably have better facilities in the city."
"Would they take weeks to do it?" Lily asked.
"I don't know. Maybe?"
"I have to go see her."
"Why?" Delilah asked.
"Because she's hurt and being moved somewhere and I might not have another chance--" to say goodbye "--to see her before they do."
Delilah glanced back at the screen, biting her lip. "You might just make it if you head out right after school--"
"No," Lily rose. "I'm heading over now."
"Cutting school?" Delilah asked.
"I don't want to chance missing her. Not if... not if she's being transferred."
"Are they going to allow her visitors so close to moving her?"
"I haven't been able to see her at all since waking up." Lily felt tears welling up in the corners of her eyes and forced them back, curling her hand around the back of Delilah's chair. "This might be my only chance."
"Okay," Gideon said. "If you're going to be sneaking into a hospital, you'll need help. I'm in."
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