by Brey Willows
“What concept would that be?” Selene watched as normal looking people stood talking at a cubicle. If it weren’t for the long, snake-like tail peeking out from under the woman’s skirt, she would have thought they were in any other office building.
“The ideal of justice. And vengeance, and morality. Although they’re vague concepts, and are often conceived differently in different cultures, the core of it remains the same. There are things you can’t do, shouldn’t do, aren’t allowed to do, in any society. And that’s where my sisters and I, and a few others from various departments, come in. We don’t need belief in who we are, as much as we need people to continue believing in right and wrong on the most basic levels.”
Selene rubbed her temples, feeling a migraine coming on. “You’re some kind of avenging angel? Is that what you’re saying?”
Alec scoffed. “No way. Those guys are stuck way up their own asses.”
“Sure. Of course.” She took another drink of water, needing to do something that felt normal. “Earlier you said something about God not taking appointments, at least not himself. I’m thinking, just to be clear, about the Christian version. What did you mean by that?”
Alec stared out at the cubicles for a long moment, her brow furrowed. Selene quashed the desire to run her thumb over the frown mark and smooth the stress away. Suddenly, Alec smiled slightly.
“You know how, at Christmas, there are Santas in every mall? None of them is the real thing, they’re all just stand-ins?”
“Excellent. Santa and the Easter Bunny are real too. Brilliant.”
“Wait, let me finish before we move into that territory. So, there’s the original God, the one in the Bible. He’s like the real Santa, the main guy people think of as a whole.” She held up her hands and ticked down on her fingers. “But then you’ve got the varieties of that God. You’ve got the one the Jehovah’s Witnesses believe in, the ones the snake handlers pray to, the ones the Jews and the Muslims pray to. All of those manifestations, because of the people who pray to them, also work on God’s floor, dealing with their particular followers.”
“Offshoots of God. Can I meet any of them?”
Alec looked at her watch. “I think so. I can take you to that floor, anyway, and we can see who’s around. But the thing is, right now it’s lunchtime, and Zed is right, Hindu day isn’t something to miss.” She stood and held out her hand. “Want to see?”
Selene avoided taking Alec’s hand and felt bad when Alec looked saddened, but she just wasn’t ready. As much as she wanted to touch her, she needed some distance. “Do I want to see a cafeteria full of gods, goddesses and…others?” She shrugged. “Sure, why not?”
They walked through mostly deserted areas to the cafeteria, which was loud and crowded. When they walked in, it was like some kind of awful high school nightmare. Slowly, the room went silent as everyone stared at them. Selene saw horns, eyes in every color, a person with multiple arms she assumed was Kali, and even a satyr. Alec reached back, her hand open, and Selene took it willingly, deciding distance could wait.
Alec stopped at the line of food. “Something sweet? Or salty?”
“Alcoholic.”
Alec grabbed a tray and put various small dishes on it. At the end of the row, she took two bottles from a fridge and placed them on the tray too. She went to pay, but the woman waved her past while staring at Selene.
Alec glanced over her shoulder. “Want to eat here, or upstairs?”
“Are you kidding? I suddenly know what an animal in a zoo feels like. Upstairs, please.”
Alec led the way out, and Selene heard the chatter start up again, even louder than before. She heard her name, and human, before the doors swung shut.
She followed Alec silently back to Zed’s office, where he was sitting at his desk eating. When they came in, Alec set their tray on the table and said, “Zed, why don’t you come eat with us while I tell Selene more about the company.”
He sighed and looked at them for a long moment before picking up his lunch and joining them. “You know how much I love my lunch.”
“I know how gluttonous you are, yes, you ungrateful butthead.”
Selene choked on her date pastry and Alec clapped her on the back. “Did you just call God a butthead?”
Zed laughed and Selene found herself laughing with him. “She did. She does that kind of thing all the time. No respect at all.”
Selene watched as food spilled onto his beard and seemed to just disappear. “I suppose that’s not surprising.”
They all looked up when a woman stopped in the doorway. Zed motioned her in. “Come eat with us. Ama, Selene. Selene, Ama.”
Selene struggled to remember the many gods’ names, but Ama didn’t ring a bell. The stunning woman sat down next to Alec and picked a bit of bread from her plate. The intimate gesture set Selene’s teeth on edge.
“I heard you were here, and I had to see for myself. It’s really wonderful to meet you, Selene.”
Selene shook her hand, marveling slightly at how smooth and soft her skin was. “Nice to meet you too, although I admit to being utterly confused. Why does everyone seem so interested in me?”
“Oh, I can’t even imagine.” Ama plucked some food from Zed’s plate and he batted her away with his fork.
“Get your own.” He shoved in another mouthful of food. “Go ahead, Alec.”
Alec opened her mouth as though to begin, and then shut it again, shaking her head. She seemed like she was just about to start again, when another woman, this one with fire-colored hair, burst in. She pulled Alec into a tight hug, then released her so suddenly Alec lost her balance. She turned to Selene.
“I heard you were here, and I just had to meet you. I can’t believe you’re actually in the building. I mean, how incredible is that, right? You just have to come to my party on Friday night; you just have to. Everyone will be there, and they’re all dying to meet you. Say you’ll come?” She grabbed Alec’s bicep. “Tell her, Alec. Tell her to come.”
Alec grinned and pulled her arm from the woman’s grip. “Selene, this is my sister Meg. This is her rather abrupt way of saying nice to meet you.”
Selene stood and shook Meg’s hand. “So, you’re a fury too?”
Meg laughed and looked at Alec. “How adorable is that?” She looked back at Selene. “I sure am, sweetness. But we’re all more than our job, aren’t we? Come Friday and we’ll talk all about it.”
She stopped talking and an expectant silence filled the room. Selene hated not being able to think things through, so she could make a rational, informed decision. Too many things kept happening before she could formulate her questions. But if this was teaching her anything, it was that her way of looking at things had to change. “Sure. I’d love to.”
No time like the present.
Chapter Sixteen
On their way back to her place, Selene fell sound asleep, only waking when she felt Alec’s fingertips on her cheeks.
“Hey, sleepyhead. We’re here.”
Selene yawned and stretched. Her body cracked and popped, and she ached for her bed. Surely this had been the longest, and strangest, twenty-four hours of her life. She gathered her things before turning to Alec.
“I don’t really know what to say. Thank you doesn’t seem quite right. Nor does, I had a lovely time.” She smiled to show she was teasing, although there was unquestionably truth to her words. She hadn’t received a hundredth of the answers she wanted, but she was so overwhelmed she couldn’t really remember what the questions were.
“Selene, I can’t imagine how you’re feeling. I can’t fathom what you’re thinking. All I can ask is that you consider what we’ve shown you, what you’ve seen. And we can talk about it, as much as you want, whenever you want.”
Selene shook her head. “Right now, I want a hot bath and bed. Tomorrow, I’ll think about everything. I need to understand, and more than that, I need to understand where my position is now that things have changed.”
; “I can appreciate that.” Alec took her hand and brushed her lips over Selene’s knuckles. “Just don’t shut me out, okay? Talk about stuff with me first?”
“I can promise that. There are far too many questions, things I don’t understand…”
Alec looked crestfallen and pulled her hand away slowly.
Selene realized it wasn’t the answer Alec was looking for. “I’m sorry. I don’t know about us. It’s not like I can say you’re not my type, or that I’ve been with women like you and it hasn’t worked out, can I? But you’re…I just need time.”
Alec nodded and looked away. “I get it. I do. I’ll pick you up at the station at five on Friday, if you still want to go. If you don’t, just let me know.”
Selene nodded and climbed down from the Hummer. She trudged to her door and looked over her shoulder as Alec pulled away. Once inside, she put her keys in their usual spot, set her bag down by the bedroom door, and then pulled a beer from the fridge. She pressed it to her forehead, thankful for the cold against the budding migraine, and slid onto her couch. With her knees against her chest, she sipped the beer and thought. She replayed every element of the date. The way she’d felt so sexy, the way Alec had looked in her all black clothing, the way they’d danced…God, the way they’d danced. She could practically still feel Alec moving against her. But then…reality itself had turned inside out.
She closed her eyes and pictured the moment Alec had changed into…into herself. What she really is. She could picture the enormous wings, the terrifying visage of her face, which had morphed into something…not human. Well, yeah. Obviously. If she hadn’t seen Alec change right in front of her eyes, she’d never have believed anything about religious icons working out of a business at the beach. She’d have bemoaned Alec’s mental health and walked away, unwilling to get involved with someone who had such massive hallucinatory type visions.
But I saw it. I saw a fury. She wondered how many, if any, people saw a fury and lived to tell someone about it. She jumped off her couch and grabbed her copy of Orestes. The furies in that were merciless, driving him on to do a number of things until he had atoned for the death of his mother. As she read them, she pictured Alec and her sister Meg, and it was as though they came to life. She became so engrossed in her reading, she nearly missed hearing the phone ring.
“Selene, my girl. How are you? Anything I want to hear yet?”
She froze. What had felt like a gargantuan decision before, now felt like a train barreling down on her. “Hi, Frey. Not quite. I can’t seem to put some relevant questions to rest.”
“Fair enough. Why don’t I take you to dinner tomorrow, and we can talk philosophy? No work stuff, just the kind of mind-bending, out-of-body experience kind of talk we can only have with people who get it. What do you think?”
She hesitated only briefly. She needed another logical mind, another solid, human, person to bounce ideas off. Clearly, she couldn’t tell him about Afterlife, but she could certainly get his take on possibilities.
“I’d really like that, actually. How about the Green Mango?”
“That’s perfect. I love Thai food. Six thirty?”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
They hung up and Selene went back to her beer and stories about the ancients.
*
By the time she was ready to leave for dinner with Frey the next evening, she’d exhausted her personal library of books that had any reference to ancient religions. She spent most of the day trolling the Internet, reading journal articles about the furies, or the Erinyes, as they’d been called later. One thing she did know, was that Alec was older than Zed. No wonder she could call him a butthead.
She started up her CR-V and realized how much she missed driving. Between taking the train to work and being picked up by Alec, it seemed like forever since she’d been behind the wheel. She headed down the back pass of the mountain, taking the shortcut into Rancho. Old pine trees quickly gave way to desert scrub and giant yucca plants. She loved the way California could change landscapes in a breath. She looked in her rearview at the receding trees and saw a black van coming up behind her. There were a few tight turns ahead, and she considered pulling over to let the driver pass, but then decided he could pass her anyway, as the road was as deserted as it usually was.
It came up fast but braked and kept a car length between them. She couldn’t make out the faces inside, and suddenly, she was ultra-aware of how alone and vulnerable she was. The lone farmhouse on the road was often empty, the apple growers there only coming when it was time to press cider. She bit her lip and wondered if she should call Alec. Why Alec? Frey is closer. It wasn’t Frey she wanted at her side if things were going to get freaky again, though.
She made the first tight turn, and the van stayed well behind her, as it did for the rest of the turns, until she made it onto the 15 Freeway. Once on, it dropped farther back, but stayed in her lane. She grabbed her phone from her bag and hit Alec’s number. Voice mail. Imagine a fury having voice mail. What the hell.
“Alec, it’s me. I’m on my way to a meeting, but I’m almost certain I’m being followed. It’s creeping me out. Call me when you can?”
She hung up and switched lanes. So did the van. She switched back. So did the van. Shit, shit, shit. She sped up, darting around cars and across lanes, until she couldn’t see the van for a moment. As she took her exit, she looked at the freeway and the van as it sailed past.
She thought she might be sick.
The faces inside weren’t human. They weren’t anything she recognized, but they looked like something from a horror film. They were smiling at her as they drove past, their pointed yellow teeth stark against their off-red skin.
She drove to the restaurant in a shocked daze. Surely Alec wouldn’t have her followed? And not by…those things. Those things probably don’t look all that different from her and her sisters when they’re…them. No, that wasn’t true. Alec had looked just as gorgeous as usual. She’d just looked far more dangerous, and far less human. But she hadn’t looked like them, evil and spooky.
She parked and rested her head on the steering wheel. Well, Alice, we’ve gone down the rabbit hole now, haven’t we? She wondered for a moment if those characters were real, but decided book characters probably weren’t, as people knew them for characters. I’m sitting here wondering if Alice and the rabbit are real. Jesus Christ. She let out a slightly hysterical giggle. No, he’s real.
She pulled herself together with some deep breaths and headed inside. Maybe Frey could help ground her in some way. When in doubt, always return to knowledge. She looked at the cloudless sky. Except now, I have entirely new knowledge. So what am I returning to?
*
Frey kissed her cheek on both sides when she was shown to his table, an affectation she’d never liked from someone who wasn’t European.
“I’m so glad you could join me tonight, Selene.”
“Thank you for the offer. Actually, I’m looking forward to picking your brain about a few things.” She scanned the menu, even though she knew she’d be getting the pad Thai, as she always did.
“Intriguing. I can’t wait. Wine?”
She looked at the server. “Jasmine tea, please.”
“Are you sure? If you wanted a drink or two I could always drive you home.”
He said it innocently enough, and she didn’t feel anything beneath the statement, and yet it felt off, somehow. “No, that’s okay, thanks. I’ve got a lot on my mind, and I like having a clear head when I think.”
He laughed. “But think of all the minds that have been opened, new thoughts and concepts brought about, by the use of mind-altering substances.”
“True. However, I’m not one of those geniuses. Hence, the tea.”
He leaned back and smiled at her. “Fair enough. So, tell me the issue you wanted to pick my brain about, as you say.”
Well, see, there’s this fury, and these gods…No, perhaps not. “You’ve worked tirelessly to teac
h people logic and critical thinking. To get people to stop believing blindly.” He nodded and sipped his wine. “I’ve done the same, mostly. Except I’ve always felt that people have the right to believe, even if I personally think it’s misguided.”
“But belief in an afterlife of any kind creates false hope, and it allows people to pass the blame onto other people, or governments, or situations. It means they stop caring about other people, about humanity as a whole, because they think God will take care of them.” He frowned and leaned forward. “It allows groups to commit terrible atrocities against people, all in the name of whoever they worship. And no one stands against the perpetrators because they too believe it’s sanctioned by some deity, that it’s punishment of some sort and they just have to endure.”
Selene pondered his words as they ordered their meal. She thought about Alec and the others she’d met. Was Frey right? Were the people…creatures…at Afterlife simply catering to the need in humans to forsake true responsibility? Were they the ones doling out punishments like those in the Old Testament? She thought about Alec’s point of view. “Doesn’t it also allow for hope? For those people in dire circumstances, such as ill health or in war-torn areas? Does it give them something to hold on to, in a world that often turns its back?” She toyed with her fork, moving it from side to side on her placemat. “What if what we’re teaching takes away people’s hope? Maybe some people need the idea of an afterlife because life in the present is often unbearable?”
“So we feed into their delusions?” His hands started motioning like they had in her office when they’d met. “If we get people to understand that they’re ultimately responsible for their own lives, that being proactive and helping one another is better than praying to someone to do it for them, then surely they’d be better off. Surely the whole planet will be better off.”
Their food came, and they ate quietly for a little while. What would Alec say? Much of what Frey said made sense. It always had, when she’d been teaching similar principles. But now, having met them, knowing they were real…did it change anything? The questions about belief, about responsibility and the afterlife remained. “Some people are only good because they believe in an afterlife. In consequences for their actions here. Take that away, and aren’t we asking for a society of faithless, narcissistic beings who don’t care about right and wrong?” She speared a piece of chicken covered in peanuts. “And by saying people should take responsibility for their own lives, even if it’s something like illness we’re talking about, aren’t we placing the blame on them, suggesting they aren’t working hard enough, that there’s no reason for their suffering other than pure bad luck?”
